# Dead duck...



## Einstein (Feb 27, 2009)

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure"?

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure"? she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever.  As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.

He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog, took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.  The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "?150!" she cried. "?150 just to tell me my duck is dead"?

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been ?20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now ?150.


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## Northerner (Feb 27, 2009)

Terrific! I knew there was _something_ coming, but didn't expect that!


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## Steff (Feb 27, 2009)

very good


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## Caroline (Feb 27, 2009)

The old ones are the best, gret laugh for a Friday


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## carolyn (Feb 27, 2009)

That is a goody, made both my husband and I laugh. Keep em going.
________
IPAD ACCESSORIES


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## Vanessa (Feb 27, 2009)

Loved it - a good chuckle is stress relieving and as stress is so bad for us diabetics, these should be prescribed on the NHS


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## Caroline (Feb 27, 2009)

These boards are great for stress relief. A while back I had to see the occupational health doctor and listed this board as one of the things I used for stress relief. Keep up the good work everyone and thank you all for the support.


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## bev (Feb 27, 2009)

My kinda joke!Bev


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## Ikklemo (Feb 27, 2009)

I like it - bought a smile to my face.


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## Einstein (Feb 27, 2009)

I have emailed the admin to see if there is an option to have a humour section on the forum - then we'd have a single place to go to have a laugh.


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## Northerner (Feb 27, 2009)

Einstein said:


> I have emailed the admin to see if there is an option to have a humour section on the forum - then we'd have a single place to go to have a laugh.



Yes, I think she's had a few requests for such a section!


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## mikep1979 (Feb 28, 2009)

lol top joke!!! had me laughing for ages


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## HOBIE (Jan 16, 2016)

Good


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## Lynn Davies (Jan 16, 2016)

Love it lol


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## Andy HB (Jan 18, 2016)

Someone is trawling through all the old jokes, I see!

I thought I'd seen it somewhere before!

Andy


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## Northerner (Jan 18, 2016)

Andy HB said:


> Someone is trawling through all the old jokes, I see!
> 
> I thought I'd seen it somewhere before!
> 
> Andy


I thought Einstein was back posting again for a minute!


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