# Scouser Jokes..



## Einstein

95% of Scousers have had a same sex experience...


The other 5% haven't been to jail yet


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## Einstein

A visitor to the docks in Liverpool sees a docker writhing in pain on the floor. He asks what's wrong with him. 
Another docker says "He wants to go the toilet". 
"So why doesn't he go" asks the visitor. 
"What? On his lunch break?" comes the reply.


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## Einstein

My dad was a diesel fitter on Liverpool docks... 


diesel fit our Maggie, diesel fit our Fred, diesel fit no-one...


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## mikep1979

thats naughty!!!!!!! not all scousers are gonna end up in jail!!!!!!! lol but a good portion will hahaha


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## Steff

pmsl@ diesel one


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## bev

Thats right Mike!
But what do you call a scouser in a suit?............The accused.....Bev


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## Steff

oOoOOoO getting somer stick now Mike


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## bev

Steff i am a scouser so i can make scouse jokes! Can you tell me what pmsl means? Sorry to be thick! Bev


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## Steff

piss my self laughing


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## mikep1979

rotfl @ bev hehehehehe love that one bev.


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## Einstein

bev said:


> Steff i am a scouser so i can make scouse jokes! Can you tell me what pmsl means? Sorry to be thick! Bev


 

And I grew up 25 miles to close to the place, so know they're all true, rather like a lot of Jewish jokes


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## mikep1979

lol well i still live here!!!!! so yeah i know a lot of the scouser jokes are true


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## bev

Steff - thanks for clarifyng that ( i think!)

Mike - what is rotfl? 

Einstein - whereabouts did you grow up? Bev


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## mikep1979

bev it meens roll on the floor laughing


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## Steff

reckon i spent to long on social networking sites all these abbrevs


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## mikep1979

lol i only know a couple hahaha


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## Steff

snap me to facebook and myspace


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## mikep1979

lol i dont go on facebook anymore as i had a few problems on it


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## bev

Well i think you lot need to educate me then!  Bev


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## mikep1979

lol well which ones do you want to know bev???


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## Steff

yeah i joined facebook but did'nt last long to many weirdos


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## mikep1979

lol yeah i had a few and so did the missus. ended up tellin some guy to p*ss off otherwised id kill him cos he was asking her if she would send her used panties to him!!!!!!! what a sicko!!!!! lol


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## Steff

ohh god wonder if he was same guy i had that said same to me , i said if you want somewhere to sleep then yes my panties are the size of a tent , never heard back


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## mikep1979

hahahaha she told him that she didnt wear any so sorry she couldnt send them to him


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## Steff

oooooooooooooooooooh  *blushes*


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## mikep1979

hahahaha she is a bit daring when it comes to undies lol


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## Steff

should we stop this convo before we are hauled in front on the mods  x


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## mikep1979

hahahahaha probably a good idea that


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## Steff

phew good , i'd only blame you of course anyway, bad influence mod he was and im easily lead , thats my story anways


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## mikep1979

hahahaha nah mine is more convincing!!!!! she told me she wanted to know what i wore to bed mod!!!!! she was harassing me bigtime!!!! wouldnt take no for an answer!!!!!!


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## Steff

dont be silly i already know what you wear , REMEMBER  hahahhahah


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## mikep1979

hahahahahahaha ssshhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! people will talk and insulinaddict will get jealous!!!!!!!!! steff its meant to be OUR secret!!!!!!!!! lol


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## Steff

pmsl@ addict 
loose lips im sorry


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## mikep1979

so thats your excuse now is it!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha not good enough!!!!!!!!!!


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## Steff

i shall wait until addict comes on she will help me out hahaha


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## Einstein

bev said:


> Steff - thanks for clarifyng that ( i think!)
> 
> Mike - what is rotfl?
> 
> Einstein - whereabouts did you grow up? Bev


 
Bev, just north of Southport in a small village called Banks - LOADS of money there!


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## mikep1979

cool david is rich!!!!!!!! guinness is on david on the meet up  hahahaha


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## Steff

pmsl


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## mikep1979

lol dont be to sure steff!!!!!!

ah poop she is female and the are like pack wolves...................always stick together!!!!! (and rip us blokes to bits) hahahahaha


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## Steff

see there you go , will be fine she will be able to see for herself the bad influence you are


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## mikep1979

PPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT IM NO BAD INFLUENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS ALWAYS THE WOMAN IN THE WRONG!!!!!!!!!! even the name woman is a warning if you split it right. look wo man!!!!!!! hahahahaha


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## Steff

took me a few secs for my brain to engage there but i got it tut tut


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## mikep1979

hahahaha always use that when she starts to nag me over certain things!!!!!


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## Steff

addict are you here? this mike been saying things all morning , not  all good either


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## mikep1979

OHHHHHH JUST ME!!!!!!!!! wait till i tell northerner off you. he is a mod and will mod your ass hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


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## Steff

*skulks away*
Northener is a really nice guy he was the first to make me feel welcome , i'm sure he would be very lenient however its spelt


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## mikep1979

hahahahahaha and the winner is...................................... MIKE!!!!!!!!!!! lol


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## Steff

sulking now 

*bottom lip trembling*


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## mikep1979

Awwwwwwwww Im Sowwwwwyyyyyyyyyyyy Stefff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Steff

type it like you mean !!!!!
words are so cheap


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## mikep1979

I Did Meen It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im Saaaaawwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :d


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## Steff

awww all is forgiven 

dont do it again wont be as lucky 2nd time around


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## mikep1979

hahahahahaha what happens the second time around???


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## bev

Northerner,

The children are playing up again - and mike is making steff wear her knickers like a tent or something? Where are you northerner? I think these two need to sit on the naughty step and think about their behaviour! And i think mike has been drinking as he is slurring his words.... Bev


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## Steff

pmsl


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## Steff

later Mike i told you , gosh so impatcient


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## bev

And you 2 think facebook is full of weirdo's? Hmmm.........Bev


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## Steff

ooooooo lol 
>> weirdoes out that way pleaseeeeeeeeeeee

*closes door behind her *


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## insulinaddict09

mikep1979 said:


> hahahahahahaha ssshhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! people will talk and insulinaddict will get jealous!!!!!!!!! steff its meant to be OUR secret!!!!!!!!! lol



Uhem...... ????? behave michael


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## Northerner

bev said:


> Northerner,
> 
> The children are playing up again - and mike is making steff wear her knickers like a tent or something? Where are you northerner? I think these two need to sit on the naughty step and think about their behaviour! And i think mike has been drinking as he is slurring his words.... Bev



I'm looking for the 'mod their asses' button, can't seem to find it!


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## mikep1979

hahahahaha not been dwinking to much yet bev!!!!!!!!!!

shhhh steff not in public!!!!!!!!


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