# Had enough - feel like giving up



## lucy123 (Oct 12, 2011)

Its my turn now - really sorry.

I will be absolutely honest and say I really just feel like giving up on the whole diabetes thing - I am fed up with it and feel I am getting depressed now.

I stick to my low gi diet - lose weight - insulin flood - gain even  more weight than I have lost. Repeat cycle over and over again. 

I have a lot of weight to still lose and am now going through cycle of people really complimenting me on my loss to then see them  a week or two later and want to run and hide because I look so hideous again.

I am fed up of going places and sitting with people who are stick thin and can eat absolutely anything they like whereas I only have to look in the direction of food - and oops theres 2lb on.

I have to be honest and say this week I have completely given up on it all. I have not been testing. I haven't taken meds. I have not been updating my food diary.

This morning I had to try 3 different outfits on and they no longer fitted.

I have talked to my GP (no good) my hubby and my PT who were both very supportive. Hubby has got me back on it today food diary wise - but I have to admit I just feel like giving in because now I feel yes I will get it off again but then the insulin flood will happen again and I will be repeatedly back where I started.

I feel absolutely shattered all the time again and blurry eyed in the morning.

I see the consultant next friday but it just seems so long away..

If I am being honest and it is no offence to anyone but even the forum isn't lifting me out of this mood at the moment - despite you all being so lovely.

What do I do?  I just don't think the medical profession gets how low I am. I tend to smile and be bubbly though.

I have started my meds again today and started writing down everything I eat and sticking to low gi and 1300 cals. I also am doing the following exercise which I have been doing for some time now so can't understand the weight gain.

Monday - Zumba and tennis
Tuesday - Advanced tennis cardio training
Weds - rest
Thurs - PT and Zumba
Fri - tennis/spin/PT
Sat - 4 hr tennis match
Sunday - rest


Just for the ladies I also came off the depo injection in March and was told this would help weight loss, but so far i haven't seen a monthly and also have to go to the breast clinic now as i have very lumpy painful breasts - could the fact i haven't seen a monthly cause over a stone weight gain quickly?

Thanks you lovely people


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## Robster65 (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi Lucy.

Firstly. Well done for re starting your diary and meds. You'll feel far worse in a while if you don't take them. No help I know.

One thing that springs to mind is the amount of exercise you do. I wonder if your body is trying to keep up all the time with your calorie output. If you feel tired all the time, it may be that your metabolism has slowed down to compensate, rather than just showing a steady weight loss.
We've been looking into this recently for Sarah and it seems to be a pig of a situation to get out of when you're diabetic. Your body doesn't automatically respond how other people's does, so it cycles through weight loss/weight gain and you sink into the ground.

Could you go direct to your consultant and explain how you're feeling. Everything. No putting a brave face on. Just tell him exactly how you feel and the effect it's havign on you, including not trusting in your GP. He may be able to refer to you to a dietician/nutritionist or run some more tests to see what's happening.

Or write it all down and take it with you to your GP to see if he is more supportive once he knows the reality of you situation.

Meanwhile, keep on with the meds. And write down your thoughts and feelings too. They may show a pattern that ties in with your BGs or exercise. There is a solution out there. 

Rob


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## Northerner (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi Lucy, very sorry to hear about your problems and frustrations  It sounds very much like you are suffering from 'burnout' - you've been so dedicated fr so long and up until recently those efforts have been rewarded with impressive weight loss, but right now you are not seeing the benefits, so it's hardly surprising that you are feeling despondent.

I wonder if taking a more relaxed attitude for a while would help - concentrate on something else other than weight loss/gain. As Rob suggests it may be your body resisting now and needing a few MORE calories so you can function better with your busy exercise schedule. I know that when I have been following a heavy training schedule a couple of weeks being more relaxed about things allows everything to recover and strengthen. Certainly something to discuss with your consultant.


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## margie (Oct 12, 2011)

I am so sorry that you feel really fed up. In the past I had a really awful situation to deal with and was in tears nearly every day - but when I would talk to the Dr I would hold things together and they would decide I was coping. It was only when I dissolved into tears that the Dr thought there was a problem. In reality I was coping better than the previous time I had seen him but he got the opposite impression. I wonder if something like this may be happening with you - the Drs think you are coping but inside you are falling apart.

I would suggest printing your post off and take it with you to your GP, or with you when you see the consultant - or get your husband to go with you as he will be able to give an objective account of how you are coping. 

I know how you feel - like you are floundering, you get given some hope, then the rug gets pulled away, and you keep going through this cycle. You get to the point where you do wonder why you are bothering. You put on a brave face because you don't want to pull anyone down.

Have another work with your Dr and or consultant and ask for some ongoing support (easier said than done I know). In the meantime try to find something that you enjoy which is not tied to your health problems. Read a nice book or light some scented candles - anything that may give you just a small boost.

Take care {{{{Lucy}}}}


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## lucy123 (Oct 12, 2011)

margie said:


> I know how you feel - like you are floundering, you get given some hope, then the rug gets pulled away, and you keep going through this cycle. You get to the point where you do wonder why you are bothering. You put on a brave face because you don't want to pull anyone down.
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## Shopaholic (Oct 12, 2011)

Feel for you and sending hugs your way. Enjoy the scenery for a while whilst you get back on the bike ........

xx


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## Robster65 (Oct 12, 2011)

Just as a thought, Lucy.

Add up roughly how many calories per day you expend through exercise on average.
Then subtract that from your average intake.

You'll maybe see why you're feeling tired. I would imagine you were somewhere below 1000 cals per day by the time you finished. Could you get access to a sports nutritionist at your club ?

Rob


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## Catwoman76 (Oct 12, 2011)

lucy123 said:


> Its my turn now - really sorry.
> 
> I will be absolutely honest and say I really just feel like giving up on the whole diabetes thing - I am fed up with it and feel I am getting depressed now.
> 
> ...



Aaawww lucy you are feeling rotten aren't you. I have said in a thread before how my Diabetes doesn't really bother me much, but, I know it it is so hard for some people and things can get out of hand. You ARE doing well and well done for starting your meds again.  I think a long term illness/condition can knock people sideways and it's hard to deal with and they just give up in the end.  You have shown you were so down, but have started to look after yourself again.  As for the weight problems, some people can take a while for the weight to come off, but I'm sure you will get there in the end. You could have a chat with your doctor about losing weight, maybe a club or group would be a better option for you.  Take care with best wishes Sheena


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## lucy123 (Oct 13, 2011)

Robster65 said:


> Just as a thought, Lucy.
> 
> Add up roughly how many calories per day you expend through exercise on average.
> Then subtract that from your average intake.
> ...



Hi

I am wondering if we are on to something here too.
I am only on 1300 cals a day which isn't many really considering all the sport I do. 
Do you know how I could calculate how many cals I am working off from the list I provided?
It would be good to be able to sit down with the consultant next week and be able to say this is how many calories I burn off during exercise, should I therefore have more than 1300 cals?

I guess if I am not eating enough - the body goes into shock mode and that would make losing weight harder too.

On a good note i had my first day back on eating healthy again and maintained it all day. I took 2 lots of my meds too, but forgot last night!
I am not thinking about the scales and weight at the moment - just trying to eat to feel healthier as a starting block and will see where it goes.

Interestingly I had a wholegrain roll with soup and felt extremely tired -so will remove the roll today and see if I feel better. I have somehow lost my testing kit so will have to search for it today. Back to basics I think!


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## Mark T (Oct 13, 2011)

Good luck Lucy!  You will get there I?m sure.

When I was loosing weight I estimate I was eating about 1700 calories ? the daily recommended intake for a male is about 2500 calories (2000 for women I think).

When I started upping my diet so not to loose weight I kept a food diary for about a month.  I found that I needed to eat at least 2400 calories to not loose weight.  I only do a moderate amount of exercise, walking perhaps 6-8 km in a week.  Certainly nowhere near the level of exercise you do.

The food diary was fairly easy to do, I just wrote down what I ate and used either the packaging or Carbs & Cals to estimate the calorie content.  Sometimes it was a case of getting the scales out.  After a while you figure that some things are more important then others ? my 200g box of salad is probably not more then 60 cals / 6 carbs ? which is about the same as one Nairns biscuit.


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## cherrypie (Oct 13, 2011)

Hi Lucy,

It is easy to get disheartened when you have tried so hard and kept at it.

There are a couple of links here that may help,

http://www.diet-blog.com/06/5_ways_to_break_a_weight_loss_plateau.php

http://www.diet-blog.com/11/not_losing_weight_on_a_very_low_calorie_diet.php

Above all I would say that you can only do your best and give yourself some praise for your efforts so far.


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## lucy123 (Oct 13, 2011)

Thanks all,

Mark, I am already okay with keeping a food diary - and do find it useful.
I think what i need now is to keep it alongside an exercise diary to see how many cals in total a day I am taking in.

I don't know how to calculate the calories for the exercise though.

I have just gone for my morning snack of the graze box toffee apple - only to find that my son has eaten it (and he doesn't even live here!). Had to settle for the apple and cinamon flapjack instead!


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## Robster65 (Oct 13, 2011)

I've used this on before, but bear in mind it's american and nothing is as accurate as it claims, but it should give you an idea.

I hope it helps and still think you'd benefit from seeing an experienced sport nutritionist, if you can find one.

Rob

ps. better add the actual link ! http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/cbc


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## lucy123 (Oct 13, 2011)

Robster65 said:


> I've used this on before, but bear in mind it's american and nothing is as accurate as it claims, but it should give you an idea.
> 
> I hope it helps and still think you'd benefit from seeing an experienced sport nutritionist, if you can find one.
> 
> ...




Thanks Robster - will speak to my PT when I see her later - and also look at the website this evening.


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## Mark T (Oct 13, 2011)

lucy123 said:


> ...I don't know how to calculate the calories for the exercise though...


Some of my apps calculate how much calories you have burnt through a session of walking, cycling etc.  The Wii does as well - so maybe there is a helpful app or guide somewhere out there.

Otherwise the only guide I'm aware of is this: http://www.runsweet.com/CalculatingEnergyUse.html


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