# teenagers!!



## jaymay (Apr 24, 2009)

Hello there, I'm new to this today. just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to hanlde a 17yr old who just wont take her diabetes seriously. Her blood sugers are regulary in the 20's and now shes a student its hard to get her to control them. I am at my wits end any advice would be very welcome.


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## sofaraway (Apr 24, 2009)

welcome to the site 

I think it's great that your daughter has your support. Have you been able to talk to her to see why she is having problems controlling her blood sugars. I don't think anyone really wants to have bad contol, there are many factors involved. diabetes is a difficult thing to live with every day so many people (some on this site aswell) have had periods where they neglect their diabetes and are rebelious. 

Would your daughter come to this site and talk to other with diabetes, it does help to not feel so alone. Or there are Diabetes UK holidays for teenagers where she could meet others in her position. 

how supportive are her diabetes team? is her DSN aware of the difficulties that she is having at the moment. Maybe their is some psychological avaliable via the clinic that might help.


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## Steff (Apr 24, 2009)

hi jaymay and welcome to the site x


like sofaraway says if she would come on here that would be great for her there are a couple of people on here near her age so she could talk to them on here , if she aint gonna look after herself she will get herself into some stress , she must be taking her education seriously as you say she is a student surely having exams  etc etc having bloods in 20's cant be good for concentration headaches an the likes.. its the old saying aint it you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink


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## Freddie99 (Apr 24, 2009)

I'd echo the various people saying get her to come onto here and chat to people her age. However, if that doesn't work she's old enough to comprehend the consequences that poor control over a long period of time will have. She needs to know that it can be vastly detrimental and she has to face up to the facts of life with diabetes and what they mean. I'm happy to chat over MSN if she wanted to, just send me a PM if that's the case.

Tom H


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## Lizzie (Apr 28, 2009)

Hi

I was like your daughter. I was very unhappy and bullied as a teenager and turned to food. I had no idea how to change my insulin so ate what I wanted and took the same insulin each time. All the doctors telling me what to do when they really had no conception of what it was like, just made me rebel. My consultant was a very fat man himself and I just thought, why can't you practise what you preach? 

Anyway. I was not educated about my diabetes by this man or any of the other medical people I saw, they were old school doctor-knows-best types. All they did was tell me the terrible things that would happen to me which made me very afraid to face my diabetes. My parents both worked and we lived in a rural area with no public transport so they needed to drive me to appointments. Since they were busy people we sometimes missed appointments. Due to this I got kicked out of the kids clinic. I was not transferred to adult clinic. I made an appointment off my own bat but found the place profoundly depressing and I was offered no support. So I stopped going. 

I saw nobody for years. I moved to London after university and started attending clinic but still had no clue what to do. At first I didn't care. Then I started to realise the implications. But all I knew was to inject more insulin. All the nagging had instilled a fear of complications so I whacked large amounts of insulin into myself and was almost constantly hypo. 

I finally found a DAFNE course last year and was finally told something about how to manage my diabetes for the first time in 15 years. I learned all the stuff I should have been told at diagnosis about how to alter my insulin dose, manage hypos and illness. I met other diabetics for the first time which really helped. 

I still don't feel supported and still struggle on my own sometimes. But I have some idea of what I am doing now. The knowledge I gained on DAFNE has helped reduce my fear. 

So that's my story. My advice is first of all to tread carefully. People mean well but it can come across as the diabetes police especially since fluctuating and high sugars do affect emotions and make you more volatile. At the end of the day it is her diabetes and you can advise but not force her to do things, she needs to find her own way of accepting her diabetes. My anger at what I saw as people's interference stemmed largely from fear - maybe hers does too. I don't know if there is anything that would have helped me. But I think support might have. If someone had sat down with me and asked why I was ignoring my diabetes and what was at the root of it. Or offered me some education and knowledge rather than fear tactics about complications which were highly counterproductive - they just made me more afraid and pushed me further into my shell. I can only offer my own experiences, I have no definitive answers. But I am happy to chat to you or your daughter if you want.


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## Northerner (Apr 28, 2009)

Lizzie, thank you for posting your story. It is because of people like you that these boards are so special - a real experience, coupled with hope, support and good advice.


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## Steff (Apr 28, 2009)

seconded lizzie thank you for sharing that x


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## mikep1979 (Apr 28, 2009)

wow great story lizzie  great to see you have addressed some of the things you needed to


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## bev (Apr 28, 2009)

Very profound Lizzie - and a lesson to us all! I hope i dont ever scare Alex so much that he tries to ignore his diabetes. But i will certainly take on board all that you have explained and remember it if ever i become like the 'diabetes police'! At the moment i tell him the only thing he needs to worry about is filling his tummy and choosing his food! I know i will need to broach the subject of complications (he knows about some in very loose terms) but i dont want him worrying about that yet as he is only just 11! Bev


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## Lizzie (Apr 29, 2009)

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I wanted to give some idea of what it is like from te perspective of someone who ignored their diabetes and rebelled. Parents and friends mean well and do things from love but it can be misunderstood. 

I am sure you are doing really well Bev and aren't coming across as the diabetes police. You seem to be taking an interest and teaching Alex about diabetes which is what my parents did not do. It is a lot better now that we have internet and more support is available. Doctors can also be more enlightened now and allow patients to take control of their own diabetes. I think things are a lot better than even 10 years ago.


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## Anthony Neve (May 18, 2009)

i have to second everything thats already been said. I was int he same situation of your daughter at her age too. its taken me a long time to realise that i didnt do my self any favours! have a read up on the possible complications of diabetes and bad control- it worked for me. the fear of having as much risk of a first heart as a person who doesnt have diabetes but has had a heart attack and having a repeat one!

now is the time to look after yourself if you want a better life in the future. unfortunately if she is anything like i was back then, it probably wont make much difference. I think finding people her age with diabetes who can relate will help the most. get her on here, theres plenty of advice and people wont have 'a go' at her, but be very supportive instead!


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## Patricia (May 21, 2009)

I guess it's maybe also worth saying that maybe a change in her therapy -- or the possibility of it? -- may raise her interest? It must feel like same old same old -- and for what? Everything, of course, but...maybe the pump is a possibility? I can really understand how she may come to feel as she does. I dread it with my own son but am assuming that at some point some version of this will happen. 

My son knows all about complications, and has done from the beginning, although at no point have we ever 'laid it on the line'. He was 12 when diagnosed last November. What we have done is get the Hanas book, read it ourselves, and leave it lying around. He has also read the DUK magazines -- again, left lying around. Part of me didn't want him to know everything. And we've had some very difficult and heartbreaking conversations.

But ultimately I think he's realised -- for the meantime anyway -- that he needs to take control and be active and be committed to control....It frightens him, but it frightens us too. We talk about it openly. So far we have not been tempted to weigh in with 'get control or else', because he's as motivated thus far as we are. 

Lizzie, thank you for your story. It's moving and honest. I appreciate the chance to read it.


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