# Feeling alone



## Emilstear

Hi all

This is my second pregnancy. I’m about 8 weeks now, so still really early.

My last pregnancy saw me signed off work from 7 months after I became unable to cope with the pressures of maintaining low and stable glucose levels whilst working. I did not have the capacity to do both and was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder.

Im trying so desperately hard with this pregnancy to not get so uptight with food prep and carb counting and denying myself food until my sugars are at a certain level (so I don’t cause miscarriage or some form of malformation which the medics drive into you) but I can see the anxiety over this starting to creep back in.

This time round I’m on an insulin pump (unfortunately started use of this two days before i found out so no time to bed in) which should have taken some of the stress away and given me more flexibility. But I keep finding that the cannula is failing and no insulin is going in (because I’ve drops the pump or caught the wire on something and not real, which means really high levels of glucose before I realise the insulin isn’t going in.

I’m getting such bad feelings of guilt when this happens. What am I doing to my baby? 

The background delivery of insulin is fabulous as I can alter depending on the time of day, which I was really struggling with before. I’m just not sure whether I should use my pen to bolus for food and then I would know that it has gone in. The trouble is I have terrible short term memory and forget what and when I’ve injected and so end up stacking!

I know I can speak to my diabetic team but none of them are diabetic. Sometimes it just feels like I’m the only diabetic struggling with this. My husband thinks I’m too hard on myself. Which I understand. But the pressure of getting it right to be ensure you give your baby the best possible environment to grow is so high.

Am I the only one?


----------



## Inka

Welcome @Emilstear and congratulations on your pregnancy   You’re not alone - pregnancy can be very nerve-wracking for anyone, and diabetes just adds to the stress because of the constant pressure of control. I have 3 children and I know well how much work a diabetic pregnancy is.

A few practical things first - yes, you can certainly bolus (inject for meals) with your pen. That’s not a particularly uncommon thing to do. Depending on what pump you’re using, you might be able to add that pen bolus into the pump so it’s aware of it, so to speak. Because of your bad memory, I think that if you decide to do this, you should stick to it - that is, always pen bolus for meals. That reduces the chance of muddling things up. You should also get a half unit pen if you don’t already have one, so you can give me accurate boluses and corrections.

Regarding the cannulas, which ones are you using and what body area? If you can give a little more detail, you’ll get some suggestions.

Finally, the anxiety. You know this, of course, but you need to control this just like your blood sugar. Even in women without diabetes, a million things can potentially go wrong, right? But they rarely do. You, as someone with diabetes, will receive excellent care and more care than other women. That’s a good thing. You’ll get more scans too.

Anxiety will damage your health and it can also affect the baby too. Every time you feel yourself getting over-anxious, stop and breathe. That’s what I did. I had special breathing exercises that I did a few times a day, including at work, and although it sounds a tiny thing, it made a huge difference. I also had mp3s of mindfulness and hypno-birthing. My aim was to be totally zen at all times. I’m a worrier and I get anxious about trivia, but using these techniques, I felt I floated through pregnancy gently and relatively serenely.


----------



## Deleted member 33972

Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the group. I’m type 2 and can’t really contribute but you will get some good help from others on this!


----------

