# Just need to rant



## Steff (Jan 4, 2012)

Sorry jan blues and all that,I got a text of my OH this morning saying stay well clear of me and leave me alone today, which i replied with a puzzled face and said no more, i get in about 3.30 and he tells me whats got him so riled,he is not happy with the xmas pressie I got HIS son so he phoned his mum got her involved etc etc for advice, the lovely person he is has now offloaded all his crap and left me feeling bloody terrible,Ive not said a word past hour or so and dont intend to cause i feel very aggrieved,MORAL OF THE STORY BUY YOUR OWN XMAS PRESENTS IN FUTURE...Men have a great knack of making you feel bad when its there own fault in the first place .

This new years resolution of me not being anyones fool is going badly so far.


----------



## novorapidboi26 (Jan 4, 2012)

Did you not get gifts together as a couple, what's the problem....


----------



## Sheilagh1958 (Jan 4, 2012)

What bloody cheeky................Men who needs them 

He should buy the present himself if he doesnt like what you have bought.


----------



## Steff (Jan 4, 2012)

novorapidboi26 said:


> Did you not get gifts together as a couple, what's the problem....



No god ive bought them every year for the past 10 year, with the exception of his boy cause he has only been back in contact the past 2 years..Ive said im not buying any presents this year boi..

Yup Shei he will be this year thats for sure.


----------



## Hanmillmum (Jan 4, 2012)

Was the present a shot gun  ? Can't imagine it would be something inappropriate so why the fierce reaction from him, and to top it off involving "The Mother"  

Hope you can find a solution to this Steff, not very nice being attacked when you have your heart in the right place x


----------



## Casper (Jan 4, 2012)

Steff said:


> Sorry jan blues and all that,I got a text of my OH this morning saying stay well clear of me and leave me alone today, which i replied with a puzzled face and said no more, i get in about 3.30 and he tells me whats got him so riled,he is not happy with the xmas pressie I got HIS son so he phoned his mum got her involved etc etc for advice, the lovely person he is has now offloaded all his crap and left me feeling bloody terrible,Ive not said a word past hour or so and dont intend to cause i feel very aggrieved,MORAL OF THE STORY BUY YOUR OWN XMAS PRESENTS IN FUTURE...Men have a great knack of making you feel bad when its there own fault in the first place .
> 
> This new years resolution of me not being anyones fool is going badly so far.




I know EXACTLY where you're coming from - I buy presents for his parents, wrap them, all he has to do is the gift tags, and deliver them, cue lots of moaning, and says "is this all you've got them?"  And when the children's presents are out under the tree, again, its should've got them more - it makes you feel like crap.

((((((hugs))))))


----------



## Steff (Jan 4, 2012)

Hanmillmum said:


> Was the present a shot gun  ? Can't imagine it would be something inappropriate so why the fierce reaction from him, and to top it off involving "The Mother"
> 
> Hope you can find a solution to this Steff, not very nice being attacked when you have your heart in the right place x



It was a bottle of gentleman jack and a box of teachers liquiors.. I might add that the GJ is not cheap. never fear Hanmil I will get my own back

Casper thats it,the feeling YOU have some how caused this is what makes me hurt the most,I was just trying to be nice in the first place


----------



## novorapidboi26 (Jan 4, 2012)

I see, this is not your child........

His responsibility then......what did his mother say


----------



## Steff (Jan 4, 2012)

novorapidboi26 said:


> I see, this is not your child........
> 
> His responsibility then......what did his mother say



His mum said best thing to do is get him something else  but make out you forget to give it to him and post it even if its just vouchers,she also said dnt tell steff though cause you know she will get upset so cant blame her for taking his side or anything


----------



## Hanmillmum (Jan 4, 2012)

Steff said:


> It was a bottle of gentleman jack and a box of teachers liquiors.. I might add that the GJ is not cheap. never fear Hanmil I will get my own back
> 
> Casper thats it,the feeling YOU have some how caused this is what makes me hurt the most,I was just trying to be nice in the first place



IMO, he is well out of line!


----------



## GodivaGirl (Jan 4, 2012)

Flipping heck!!!!!!!  now, that would cause a MEGA row in our house!


----------



## Pumper_Sue (Jan 4, 2012)

Steff (((((((((hugs))))))))))))

I can see distinct advantages for not buying Christmas presents.


----------



## Robster65 (Jan 4, 2012)

Speechless. 

Rob


----------



## ypauly (Jan 4, 2012)

Robster65 said:


> Speechless.
> 
> Rob



I was going to type exactly that.




I hope you get it sorted soon steff {{{{{steff}}}}}}


----------



## AJLang (Jan 4, 2012)

you can't expect somebody to buy something for someone on your behalf and then complain about it..........if your OHhad a problem about it why didn't he tell you before Christmas when he had time to buy something else?


----------



## Steff (Jan 4, 2012)

Im just sick to the back teeth of it, this is not the first time its happened,  im so bloody close to walking out its untrue


----------



## Dizzydi (Jan 4, 2012)

Bottom side ways spring to mind...... 

Text him and tell him to return and get something else. I can't believe he sent a text like that to start with. 

Revenge of the day idea..... 

Buy box of diabetic chocolate, and buy small gift box and tissue paper. Place chocolates in box and when you make up give him box of chocolates as a peace offering. If he wants to share make excuse not to eat. Sit back watch chocolates being scoffed and then put toilet roll in fridge really for tilly trotts  revenge is sweet he he he


----------



## Ellie Jones (Jan 4, 2012)

There's me thinking of a little fella and when I pondered what Gentlemen Jack was, so pipped up and asked my daughter was it aftershave/smelly I heard a snigger to my side as hubby tried to explain Gentlemen Jack is a blend of bourbon by Jack Daniels and there's a bottle on the side

Has your hubby said why he felt that the present wasn't for his son?

If you had inadvertently brought him it not knowing that he didn't drink or bourbon wasn't his tipple of choice, then it would be easy to make apologies and rectify without getting upset about it all..

As to his mum, well she did advise him not to say anything to you as not to upset you..  So perhaps she was also on your side as well..

I would let him calm down, and at a later date saying sorry but I don't mind sorting out your sons present as long as we both decide what to get him before I go and get it...


----------



## Catwoman76 (Jan 4, 2012)

Steff said:


> Sorry jan blues and all that,I got a text of my OH this morning saying stay well clear of me and leave me alone today, which i replied with a puzzled face and said no more, i get in about 3.30 and he tells me whats got him so riled,he is not happy with the xmas pressie I got HIS son so he phoned his mum got her involved etc etc for advice, the lovely person he is has now offloaded all his crap and left me feeling bloody terrible,Ive not said a word past hour or so and dont intend to cause i feel very aggrieved,MORAL OF THE STORY BUY YOUR OWN XMAS PRESENTS IN FUTURE...Men have a great knack of making you feel bad when its there own fault in the first place .
> 
> This new years resolution of me not being anyones fool is going badly so far.



Hi steff, er didn't your OH behave in a similiar way weeks ago/months? and you slept somewhere else in the house. I remember seeing the thread, but can't think what it was about.
 If his son is the same age as your own lad, then yes it is very inappropiate, but knowing you, I can't see you doing that.  So, his son is an adult then?
 Well steff, reading between the lines, I feel as though there is more to this than meets the eye.  It could be money worries, job problems or something personal happening in his life, but that does not excuse him from the nasty treatment you have been receiving from him.  Somethings up.
ps I know why I am still on my own as times. 
 Chin up steff, have you ever heard of the mouse that roared? Give as good as you get, with assertiveness, focus and dignity.  Good luck, lots of love  Sheena xxxx


----------



## daisymoo84 (Jan 4, 2012)

Hi Steff just wanted to send you a big hug. Hope things work out ok xx


----------



## Steff (Jan 4, 2012)

Di I like your thinking you wicked woman haha

Ellie I wont be apologising for anything i did nothing wrong...him ringing his mum was very unusual so he must of felt very annoyed as he like alot of men dont talk to me or his mum, im not mad at her either cause one she is is fair she never takes one side over the other

Sheena yeah his lad is 26,your right Sheena yeah he is very callous with his words when he wants to be...If they is more to it then meets the eye i aint got a clue what it could be cause he wont share nothing like that with me...Thank you Sheena for your kind words means alot xxx


Daisy thank you means alot x


----------



## Twitchy (Jan 5, 2012)

Hi Steff! Just saw this & wanted to add my sympathy!! Christmas really winds me up these days, noone seems to remember 'it's the thought that counts' any more & it all gets so stressful!! Hope things have calmed in your house & your oh has seen reason...maybe next year he can take responsibility for his son's present himself!! 

Ps - you're nobody's fool- don't let other people's silliness get you down hun, it's their problem not yours! Xxx


----------



## Monica (Jan 5, 2012)

You don't deserve to be treated like that!!! Outrageous!!!

I'd refuse to buy any more presents for his son. Let him do it next time (probably his Birthday)


----------



## Catwoman76 (Jan 5, 2012)

Steff said:


> Di I like your thinking you wicked woman haha
> 
> Ellie I wont be apologising for anything i did nothing wrong...him ringing his mum was very unusual so he must of felt very annoyed as he like alot of men dont talk to me or his mum, im not mad at her either cause one she is is fair she never takes one side over the other
> 
> ...



Dear steff It's awful to hear you so upset over this. His son is not much younger than you!!!!!!!!! for goodness sake, but, really that's irrelavant  Just wanted to give you a (((((hug)))))) and say IT IS CLEARLY NOT YOUR FAULT.  My thinking in life is Once is a mistake, twice is a habit. 
 If you can, try and have a bit of chilled out fun with your son, it will pick you both up 
Love and best wishes Sheena XXXX


----------



## Donald (Jan 5, 2012)

Hi Steff word's fail me  Di's suggestion is most appealing hope everything gets sorted   

xxxx Donald


----------



## margie (Jan 5, 2012)

Hi Steff - hope you are feeling better today.

Its possible that there are or have been drink issues in his family or with his son which would make him think that the gift is unsuitable. However, if that is the case he should have told you long ago, you can't be expected to be psychic. 

Maybe he will have had time to think and will reconsider what he has said and apologise to you. Actually your last post made me a slightly relieved as I was unsure whether he had spoken to his own Mum or his son's Mum. 

Hope your day improves {{{Steff}}}


----------



## ypauly (Jan 5, 2012)

Dizzydi said:


> Bottom side ways spring to mind......
> 
> Text him and tell him to return and get something else. I can't believe he sent a text like that to start with.
> 
> ...



I wouldn't describe that as sweet lol


----------



## Steff (Jan 5, 2012)

Monica said:


> You don't deserve to be treated like that!!! Outrageous!!!
> 
> I'd refuse to buy any more presents for his son. Let him do it next time (probably his Birthday)


Well its his sons birthday next month so will let that one go by and not mention one word, ive learnt my lesson xx


margie said:


> Hi Steff - hope you are feeling better today.
> 
> Its possible that there are or have been drink issues in his family or with his son which would make him think that the gift is unsuitable. However, if that is the case he should have told you long ago, you can't be expected to be psychic.
> 
> ...



No drink issues in my OH's family that i know, but Not a clue what his own sons home life was like, so maybe they are issues but M dont know about them either.I would very much doubt he will aplogise Margie but he did chat to me last night and realised I meant no malice, which I can not get my head around,where the heck does malice take place in any of the stuff ive done here.

Pleased he is off out tonight gonna slag him of sumit rotten to my sis


----------



## Steff (Jan 5, 2012)

Twitchy said:


> Hi Steff! Just saw this & wanted to add my sympathy!! Christmas really winds me up these days, noone seems to remember 'it's the thought that counts' any more & it all gets so stressful!! Hope things have calmed in your house & your oh has seen reason...maybe next year he can take responsibility for his son's present himself!!
> 
> Ps - you're nobody's fool- don't let other people's silliness get you down hun, it's their problem not yours! Xxx



Yup one thing I cant stand about this is, at least he got something, all I was bothered about was making sure my little man had a good xmas,like alot of families are money is extremely tight this year and half the pressies we got were through Amazon because I get alot of vouchers via a survey site i use...I would say I spent about ?15 on him in all(his son not mine)


----------



## margie (Jan 5, 2012)

The malice comment is weird  - be careful what you say to your sis - you don't want it to come back and explode on you. Stick to the facts and how you are feeling, I know you may feel like saying a lot more but if you take it too far you will end up feeling guilty and maybe regretting it.  Sticking to the facts and looking for a way to move forward may help. Do you think he would talk to a counsellor with you to find a way to avoid the situations you have been encountering in the last x months ?

If you are called upon to buy presents in the future either say no or ask for a list of things that you are not to purchase.


----------



## Steff (Jan 5, 2012)

margie said:


> The malice comment is weird  - be careful what you say to your sis - you don't want it to come back and explode on you. Stick to the facts and how you are feeling, I know you may feel like saying a lot more but if you take it too far you will end up feeling guilty and maybe regretting it.  Sticking to the facts and looking for a way to move forward may help. Do you think he would talk to a counsellor with you to find a way to avoid the situations you have been encountering in the last x months ?
> 
> If you are called upon to buy presents in the future either say no or ask for a list of things that you are not to purchase.



Yeah I was just kidding I will only tell her the story hun cause she gets on well with M...
I dont think he would even dream of entering a councellors office never talk to them..I dont want to force it upon him either.Maybe if i get some help that could resolve some issues x


----------



## Dizzydi (Jan 5, 2012)

ypauly said:


> I wouldn't describe that as sweet lol



This was intended to make light of the situation..... Not a serious suggestion! Honest


----------

