# Some Truly DREADFUL Jokes…



## Contused (Apr 28, 2016)

My wife told me to stop being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make, then they call me ugly AND poor.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, they're efficient, not funny.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he won't come.

Apparently someone gets stabbed in London every 52 seconds, What has he ever done to deserve that, poor soul?

Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism.

What did the Pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that.

The first rule about Alzhiemers club is, don't talk about chess club

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows far too high. She looked surprised.


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## pottersusan (Apr 28, 2016)

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?.... One, but the lightbulb has really got to want to change.


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## robert@fm (Apr 28, 2016)

How many England soccer squad managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None -- the bulb always worked before.

How many Pink Floyd fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.


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## zuludog (Apr 28, 2016)

How many climbers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seventeen - one to change the bulb; one to belay him; and fifteen to argue about the grade


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## Sally71 (Apr 28, 2016)

How many footballers does it take to change a light bulb?

Eleven - one to change the bulb, and ten to congratulate him when he's finished.


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## Annette (Apr 28, 2016)

How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
3.14...


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## Diabeticliberty (Apr 28, 2016)

Why are pirates of the Caribbean?


Cos they arrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh


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## Contused (May 28, 2016)

zuludog said:


> How many climbers does it take to change a light bulb?
> 
> Seventeen - one to change the bulb; one to belay him; and fifteen to argue about the grade


Yes, indeed. Just between you & me and the gatepost, the grade is immensely important…

…or so it is suggested.


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## khskel (May 28, 2016)

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem.


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## HOBIE (May 28, 2016)

Very good  Mad !


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## John Froy (May 31, 2016)

Why did the duck not cross the road? He was just about to when a chicken came up to him and said I wouldn't bother if I were you you will never hear the last of it.


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