# Pre Op Assessment



## grainger (Mar 22, 2018)

hey all

Final update. 

Thought I’d have my baby next week - everything looks fine, pre op assessment showed no concerns and my blood pressure is back to normal which is good.

I am however insanely upset and don’t know what to do. Due to flu outbreaks the ward I’ll be on has put restrictions on visiting - one of the restrictions is no children so my gorgeous little boy won’t be able to come and meet his new brother. I’m devastated as this is such an important moment to me (not to mention I won’t see him until discharged)... we’ve also talked with him about coming to meet him and he has a present for him and everything and is really excited (has been counting down the sleeps). I literally have no idea how I’m going to explain to a nearly 4 year old that whilst grandma can come visit he’s not allowed and can’t see mummy or baby until we come home. HELP!!! How can something so exciting be now so upsetting?


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## trophywench (Mar 22, 2018)

Know what you mean - we couldn't go to see Sam before she had Lily - not even Simon's Mum & Dad could go or her own Dad whereas her mum and Simon (her partner/Lily's Dad) were both 'registered' as 'birthing partners' - and she was in for 10 days prior to.  It's always been our role with all 7 grandkids to visit/stay overnight with any of them in hospital to give mum & dad a rest from it, apart from wanting to see for ourselves how they are - they've always grown up trusting us both implicitly.

From an adult POV it's like a slap in the face even though we understand perfectly WHY and the dangers of not restricting it.  You can't possibly make a little one understand any of that.

I propose an adventure/treat for your son - can grandma have him to stay for a couple of days or at the very least the day and night before you come out.  Then on the day you come out, Grandma takes him to meet his daddy 'somewhere' which turns out to be the hospital where they both have to wait in 'reception' for dad - and suddenly not only dad, but also mum and new baby appear together, and you all come home together to your house.


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## Amigo (Mar 22, 2018)

Oh how upsetting for you all grainger. Is there no way this restriction could be lifted by then? Could Skype be arranged? 

I know it’s not the same thing but I can’t visit my very poorly mum in her Home at the moment due to a severe sickness bug going round and this is upsetting me enough.

I really hope you can get something sorted. Couldn’t you be taken to the door in a wheelchair with the new baby well wrapped up to give your little boy a look and a cuddle? I’d insist on it. The smokers will be doing it!


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## Flower (Mar 22, 2018)

Sorry to hear this grainger. Like Amigo says can you FaceTime or Skype from the ward if the hospital has internet? Not the same I realise but if you're not able to leave the ward in a chair or if you've got drips/ sliding scale it would let your little boy see you both.

I'm glad all is going well with you - apart from this upsetting problem.


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## grainger (Mar 22, 2018)

trophywench said:


> Know what you mean - we couldn't go to see Sam before she had Lily - not even Simon's Mum & Dad could go or her own Dad whereas her mum and Simon (her partner/Lily's Dad) were both 'registered' as 'birthing partners' - and she was in for 10 days prior to.  It's always been our role with all 7 grandkids to visit/stay overnight with any of them in hospital to give mum & dad a rest from it, apart from wanting to see for ourselves how they are - they've always grown up trusting us both implicitly.
> 
> From an adult POV it's like a slap in the face even though we understand perfectly WHY and the dangers of not restricting it.  You can't possibly make a little one understand any of that.
> 
> I propose an adventure/treat for your son - can grandma have him to stay for a couple of days or at the very least the day and night before you come out.  Then on the day you come out, Grandma takes him to meet his daddy 'somewhere' which turns out to be the hospital where they both have to wait in 'reception' for dad - and suddenly not only dad, but also mum and new baby appear together, and you all come home together to your house.



That’s a really nice idea. My mum is planning to stay at mine for a few days while im in hospital anyway so hopefully we can make something like this work. Definitely would like us all to go home together as a family so that would be lovely. 



Amigo said:


> Oh how upsetting for you all grainger. Is there no way this restriction could be lifted by then? Could Skype be arranged?
> 
> I know it’s not the same thing but I can’t visit my very poorly mum in her Home at the moment due to a severe sickness bug going round and this is upsetting me enough.
> 
> I really hope you can get something sorted. Couldn’t you be taken to the door in a wheelchair with the new baby well wrapped up to give your little boy a look and a cuddle? I’d insist on it. The smokers will be doing it!



Definitely can do FaceTime or Skype. Have to go for blood tests this weekend so will speak to them again then and see if there is anything I can do. I’m sorry you can’t see your Mum at the moment - I hope that changes soon x



Flower said:


> Sorry to hear this grainger. Like Amigo says can you FaceTime or Skype from the ward if the hospital has internet? Not the same I realise but if you're not able to leave the ward in a chair or if you've got drips/ sliding scale it would let your little boy see you both.
> 
> I'm glad all is going well with you - apart from this upsetting problem.



Thanks. Not sure if the hospital has internet but I have plenty of data on phone etc so can definitely make something work.


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## Robin (Mar 22, 2018)

Sorry you've got this on your plate, Grainger. I think the worst bit is knowing about it in advance, and worrying about a solution. When I had a C section with my second, my firstborn (then 3yrs 2 months)developed suspected chicken pox the day I went in, and wasn't allowed to visit. ( turned out to be Hand foot and mouth virus, but same rule would have applied) Because it was sprung on us, I didn't have time to worry!  It's all a bit of a blur, but I certainly remember going down to the coffee shop to meet him when OH brought him in. Apart from that ( no Skype in those days) the novelty of Mum having a new baby sister wore off very quickly, and he seemed quite happy to go and play with a friend when OH visited me on his own.


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## trophywench (Mar 22, 2018)

Like Pete - maybe he'd have preferred a dog?  Which was his thought when a brother arrived at home one day he was at school.  John doesn't appear to bear a grudge - but who knows?  LOL


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## Lucy Honeychurch (Mar 22, 2018)

Hopefully something can be sorted so your son can meet his new baby brother, and you can see Callum x


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## SB2015 (Mar 22, 2018)

Not being a parent so no expert, but  all I know is that I am so excited that you are at this stage now Grainger. 
I am sure that your u will find a way round this with the advice from others more knowledgable.  Hope weaver all the best.


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## Grannylorraine (Mar 23, 2018)

Excited for you that your having your baby next week.  Sorry to hear that your little one will not be able to meet his new brother immediately, and I understand how difficult it is not seeing your little boy for a while,  I was in hospital for 5 weeks when I had my twins due to low blood pressure and they restricted me to seeing my little boy to 1 hour a day, and he was not allowed to visit until the twins were 3 days old (even though they were full term babies and good birth weights).  Hoping the restrictions might have been lifted.  Do you know how long after birth they will be keeping you in?

I agree with the idea of him coming with daddy to meet you when are being discharged. I hope you manage to get something sorted so that this special time is still special for all of you.


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## grainger (Mar 23, 2018)

Thanks all

I’m hoping it’ll only be 24 hours that I’m kept in, although depending on babies sugars etc could be 48. Just have to hope and pray all is healthy and happy. With the illness outbreak I’d imagine they want to discharge as soon as possible.

Have spoken with my son a lot about him not being able to come and whilst we’ve had lots of tears about it he’s excited about sleepovers with grandma so distraction techniques are working so far. 

My mum has said that they can get banners etc and make it all exciting at home for when we get back so it can still be really special for Josh - this might work better than him coming up to hospital as it’s an hour drive each way. 

We’ve made the decision we won’t have any other visitors while in hospital because I don’t want people meeting the baby before Josh. Even my mum bless her has said she won’t come if Josh can’t.

Going to have bloods done tomorrow so will speak with them again about visitation and go from there.

Thanks for all your support as always. I’m much calmer now I’ve had my emotional outburst and just trying to plan the best way to make it work.

Roll on Monday morning - all being well will have a baby in my arms by 9am!


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## trophywench (Mar 24, 2018)

Lily was home just after lunch on the day she was born - Sam thought they'd just let her try and catch up on sleep for a bit - but no!  LOL


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## Grannylorraine (Mar 24, 2018)

grainger said:


> Thanks all
> 
> I’m hoping it’ll only be 24 hours that I’m kept in, although depending on babies sugars etc could be 48. Just have to hope and pray all is healthy and happy. With the illness outbreak I’d imagine they want to discharge as soon as possible.
> 
> ...


I am pleased that you have found a solution, I am sure he will have a great time with nanny.


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## New-journey (Mar 24, 2018)

grainger said:


> Thanks all
> 
> I’m hoping it’ll only be 24 hours that I’m kept in, although depending on babies sugars etc could be 48. Just have to hope and pray all is healthy and happy. With the illness outbreak I’d imagine they want to discharge as soon as possible.
> 
> ...


I missed your post, how upsetting for you and not what you needed at this special time. I am glad you have a plan and it sounds really good. As you wait for Monday, I hope you, your wonderful husband and son are enjoying these special days before the wonderful moment. I wish you lots of rest and hope the birth goes very well, your baby is very healthy and you get out within 24 hours. I am, as we all are, thinking of you, and sending biggest hugs.


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## SB2015 (Mar 24, 2018)

Good on your Mum for waiting until Josh gets his turn to meet now one.


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## Amigo (Mar 24, 2018)

grainger said:


> Thanks all
> 
> I’m hoping it’ll only be 24 hours that I’m kept in, although depending on babies sugars etc could be 48. Just have to hope and pray all is healthy and happy. With the illness outbreak I’d imagine they want to discharge as soon as possible.
> 
> ...



We are all eagerly awaiting the safe delivery on Monday grainger! Sending best wishes and a lovely family reunion when it’s all over


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## Grannylorraine (Mar 24, 2018)

grainger said:


> Thanks all
> 
> I’m hoping it’ll only be 24 hours that I’m kept in, although depending on babies sugars etc could be 48. Just have to hope and pray all is healthy and happy. With the illness outbreak I’d imagine they want to discharge as soon as possible.
> 
> ...


Just realised you are having baby on Monday. My twins will be 27 on Monday so 27 years ago. I was going through the same thing wil my son.


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## grainger (Mar 24, 2018)

Grannylorraine said:


> Just realised you are having baby on Monday. My twins will be 27 on Monday so 27 years ago. I was going through the same thing wil my son.



I’ve clearly chosen a good day! Hope you have fun celebrating with your twins


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## MandyS (Mar 24, 2018)

Wishing you all the best on Monday Grainger! Sorry it’s been stressful, I can understand why you would be so upset about Josh not being able to meet baby. Glad you have managed to find a solution you’re happy with. xxx


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## Wirrallass (Mar 25, 2018)

So the special day is here at last grainger ~ I'm so very excited for you and proud at the way you have coped during the last 9 months. I do hope all goes to plan and I wish you a safe delivery. I bet Josh's face will be a picture when he sees his new baby brother for the first time. I'm sure the moment you all go home together as a family of four will be unforgettable! Lots of love, Jackie xxx


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## grainger (Mar 25, 2018)

wirralass said:


> So the special day is here at last grainger ~ I'm so very excited for you and proud at the way you have coped during the last 9 months. I do hope all goes to plan and I wish you a safe delivery. I bet Josh's face will be a picture when he sees his new baby brother for the first time. I'm sure the moment you all go home together as a family of four will be unforgettable! Lots of love, Jackie xxx
> View attachment 7404



Thanks so much - we head to hospital at 6am tomorrow morning . So it’s our last day of freedom today. Taking my little boy out for lunch and getting as many cuddles as I can!


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## Northerner (Mar 25, 2018)

Hope everything goes smoothly!  Good luck!


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## Flower (Mar 25, 2018)

Best wishes for tomorrow  @grainger . I hope everything goes smoothly for you.


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## trophywench (Mar 25, 2018)

Get a good nights sleep, grainger!

Hope there's not too much messing about tomorrow and everything goes to plan for all the family new and older.  Will be thinking of you!  xxx


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## scousebird (Mar 25, 2018)

grainger said:


> Thanks so much - we head to hospital at 6am tomorrow morning . So it’s our last day of freedom today. Taking my little boy out for lunch and getting as many cuddles as I can!


Very exciting, hope you're not in hospital too long. Best wishes for tomorrow.


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## Ljc (Mar 26, 2018)

Best wishes for today.


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## Robin (Mar 26, 2018)

Good luck, Grainger, not long till you see your little bean.


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## New-journey (Mar 26, 2018)

Good luck Grainger, thinking of you and hope you will be home soon with your little one.


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## grainger (Mar 26, 2018)

Going in to theatre in about twenty mins. Prayers, good vibes, anything that’ll make this successful and healthy much appreciated.

See you on the other side!


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## grovesy (Mar 26, 2018)

Good luck.


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## New-journey (Mar 26, 2018)

grainger said:


> Going in to theatre in about twenty mins. Prayers, good vibes, anything that’ll make this successful and healthy much appreciated.
> 
> See you on the other side!


Sending good vibes, prayers and huge hugs to you, see you very soon with your little one.


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## scousebird (Mar 26, 2018)

Hope all is well @grainger


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## MandyS (Mar 26, 2018)

Thinking of you and your family! Hope everything has gone well xxxx


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## kentish maid (Mar 26, 2018)

@scousebird , @MandyS , there is a thread on the General Message Board, 'He's here' from grainger that is an update


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## MandyS (Mar 26, 2018)

I have no idea how to tag people yet (!) but thank you kentish maid! xx


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## Cleo (Apr 1, 2018)

hope all went well Grainger
thinking of you and sending hugs xx


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## grainger (Apr 1, 2018)

Cleo said:


> hope all went well Grainger
> thinking of you and sending hugs xx



Hey Cleo - check out my update thread x


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