# abuse from other parents



## grahams mum (Oct 15, 2009)

hi everybody i  have been to a party today  was one of graham school friends and i specify that the mum of the girl she is diabetic and when i did graham injecton one of the mums moved her boy from graham side saing [she is got a dirty needle !!!!]this mum she is a NURSE at the  end of the party you could imagine what happen and i told her  she should be ashamed of being a nurse  then she told another mum that she left her daughter there so she did not see what happen and she start on me as well shouting  i was so shocked that i did not know what to say to her  any suggestion for tomorrow morning  i would like to tell the teacers what happened because i dont want any bulling episodes to my boy   thanks daniela


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## grahams mum (Oct 15, 2009)

rsorry for spelling mistakes i am still very angry


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## Steff (Oct 15, 2009)

goodness me that is outragous what a bloody great example of ignorance that is , the worse thing is she is a nurse fgs she ought to be given a right telling off you need to tell the teachers , saying its a dirty needle you must of felt so upset .


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## tracey w (Oct 15, 2009)

Daniela, that is terrible, I dont blame you for being angry, I would have blown my top but you are obviously more polite than me.

I cant advise on what to say tomorrow,is it school? I know others here will be able to help you. I would just say remain calm, these people are just ignorant, having said that thy should not be allowed to get away with this kind of treatment.


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## Steff (Oct 15, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> rsorry for spelling mistakes i am still very angry



its totally understandable you need to tell people , if some one like a nurse makes a comment like that how on earth are you supposed to have any confidence in the NHS


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## Viki (Oct 15, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> hi everybody i  have been to a party today  was one of graham school friends and i specify that the mum of the girl she is diabetic and when i did graham injecton one of the mums moved her boy from graham side saing [she is got a dirty needle !!!!]this mum she is a NURSE at the  end of the party you could imagine what happen and i told her  she should be ashamed of being a nurse  then she told another mum that she left her daughter there so she did not see what happen and she start on me as well shouting  i was so shocked that i did not know what to say to her  any suggestion for tomorrow morning  i would like to tell the teacers what happened because i dont want any bulling episodes to my boy   thanks daniela



Thats outrageous! Poor Graham, did he hear those horrible comments?

I would definately tell the school, and ask them to keep an eye on him. Im sure he'll be feeling a little but self conscious after such irresponsile comments. 

Hope he and you are ok xxxx


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## am64 (Oct 15, 2009)

wooooaa sweetie not surprised your a mum and its natural to be protective...im sure other parents on forum will kick into action very soon with advice...however... deep breathes ..it will all be ok..Rant away if you need its good for you!! good luck


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## grahams mum (Oct 15, 2009)

graham did not realise at the time when i left the party i was talking to my friend  and then realise what happened and he said :dont worry mum just ignor them : what a great thing is a child innocence!!!or maybe is clever than me even if is only 5


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## Steff (Oct 15, 2009)

awww we often forget just how sensible our children can be even at such a young age , but he is totally right just ignore her its there problem not yours xx


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## Viki (Oct 15, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> graham did not realise at the time when i left the party i was talking to my friend  and then realise what happened and he said :dont worry mum just ignor them : what a great thing is a child innocence!!!or maybe is clever than me even if is only 5



Bless him - what a little star


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## tracey w (Oct 15, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> graham did not realise at the time when i left the party i was talking to my friend  and then realise what happened and he said :dont worry mum just ignor them : what a great thing is a child innocence!!!or maybe is clever than me even if is only 5



You should be so proud of him!


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## HelenP (Oct 15, 2009)

Outrageous!!    Once again, another show of ignorance from someone in the 'caring profession'.

And what a wonderful response from your li'l 5year old, puts the grown ups to shame!!

xx


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## AlisonM (Oct 15, 2009)

Graham is a little gem isn't he? There's no excuse for that woman's behaviour, and she was a nurse? I'm disgusted.


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## am64 (Oct 15, 2009)

if you get on with the head or teacher just have a little quiet chat if it would reassure you a bit....children can pick up their rotten parents bad habits ... but you got a little star there!


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## katie (Oct 15, 2009)

oh my! that is horrible!  that woman is lucky you only shouted at her :grr:  Graham sounds like a lovely, intelligent boy.  Don't let them get you down, I hope graham is ok


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## grahams mum (Oct 15, 2009)

the funny thing is that one of graham good friends play with rufus the bear[JDRF TRAINING BEAR] SO HE CAN HELP GRAHAM WHEN they will go out together  so why some parents are so ignorant this is the first time that something like that happen to me especially i would not be expetting this from his school friends everybody knows that graham is diabetic


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## am64 (Oct 15, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> the funny thing is that one of graham good friends play with rufus the bear[JDRF TRAINING BEAR] SO HE CAN HELP GRAHAM WHEN they will go out together  so why some parents are so ignorant this is the first time that something like that happen to me especially i would not be expetting this from his school friends everybody knows that graham is diabetic



unfortunately there are some people in this world who are just not nice...


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## hyper-Suze (Oct 15, 2009)

This is so shocking! I may be rocking the boat a bit here and you may not want to do this for the sake of making matters worse but, is there anyway of making an anonymous complaint about her to the NHS outlet she works for (hospital or GP etc)? Like many have said on this thread, it is appalling that an NHS worker is so ignorant and uncaring, it seems she needs re-training! But although i'm not yet a mother, I understand you may not want to action anything as your sons welfare is paramount. Let's hope she gets her come-uppance one day soon!


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## Einstein (Oct 15, 2009)

That is truly shocking to hear.

You're not near Birkenhead are you? Or is this just a 'thing' with no it all nurses who clearly know nothing at all?

Pleased Graham has the ability to lift himself above his friends parents.

One day these people will realise. Well, we can live in hope can't we? But it does make you wonder, if this is the opinion of the medical 'profession' what chance do ordinary people have...

Take care,


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## grahams mum (Oct 15, 2009)

no i am in bexhill on sea


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## grahams mum (Oct 15, 2009)

hyper-Suze said:


> This is so shocking! I may be rocking the boat a bit here and you may not want to do this for the sake of making matters worse but, is there anyway of making an anonymous complaint about her to the NHS outlet she works for (hospital or GP etc)? Like many have said on this thread, it is appalling that an NHS worker is so ignorant and uncaring, it seems she needs re-training! But although i'm not yet a mother, I understand you may not want to action anything as your sons welfare is paramount. Let's hope she gets her come-uppance one day soon!



when she was at me she said something about a cairing for diabetes training that she did have and i reply ;i live with diabetes so you dont have a clue of what he means to care for a diabetic;


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## Einstein (Oct 15, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> no i am in bexhill on sea


 
I didn't expect you to be, there was a famous or infamous 'nurse' who on two occassions in Balance accused insulin dependant diabetics of being 'insulin junkies' she was from Birkenhead, just thought they might have trained together or been sisters


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## grahams mum (Oct 16, 2009)

oh yes the Balance article!!!!


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## hyper-Suze (Oct 16, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> when she was at me she said something about a cairing for diabetes training that she did have and i reply ;i live with diabetes so you dont have a clue of what he means to care for a diabetic;


Omg! I do only have faith in a handful of healthcare professionals and this is a demonstration why!!! Doc once said to me after I said I had emotional difficulties in injecting 'just take you insulin'!?! 

As for insulin junkies...what an idiot! Junkie usually refers to someone who's addicted, we're not addicted to insulin, we have it to survive! I'm soooo mad now at the NHS and I've only just woken up! Grr!


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## Caroline (Oct 16, 2009)

This woman is totally out of order I'd be very cross too. Graham sounds brilliant, but I'd still have a chat to his teachers, just to be on the safe side.

As a type one adult I don't fully understand what it is to care for a child that needs regular injections, but accept this has to happen to keep them healthy. I don't think too many people understand the realities of diabetes, not even medically trained people.

You are angry so don't worry about spelling mistakes, we all make them from titme to time. I wish I could give you and Graham a huge hug to feel better with.


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## Steff (Oct 16, 2009)

hi there daniela i hope things go ok   this morning for you x


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## bev (Oct 16, 2009)

Hi Daniela and Graham,

Is there any possibility that you could go into school with your DSN and give little talk about diabetes and show the children the pens and needles etc. This often stops people from being 'scared' or 'ignorant' of what it is like to be diabetic. Education is the key.

This foul woman is not worth your anger or Graham's - she is the lowest of the low. Who would want to make a little boy feel different or alienated? Focus your energies on doing something positive and educational and hopefully people like this mental woman will eventually get the message! You cant catch diabetes and the needles etc are sterile - they are not dirty.

The best thing that has come out of this is that you have the most amazing beautiful little boy - he has shown great maturity and dignity - you should be very proud of him and you should be very proud of your mothering skills - you have obviously brought him up to be happy, secure, caring and understanding.

I do hope you can move on from this and show this woman the contempt she deserves. She is no more than scum. Rise above it and be proud that you and Graham are a billion times nicer than her.

I hope you are both feeling better today and give Graham a huge big hug off me and tell him he is wonderful!Bev xxx


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## falcon123 (Oct 16, 2009)

Hi, unfortuneately I am not overly surprised by this as unfortuneately some nurses are both ignorant and uncaring. I posted yesterday about being told (after eight years in the job) to check my blood sugar in the (grubby) loo rather than my desk. I was told by the director  that he had spoken to a nurse and she felt it was a perfectly reasnoble request! Talking about this to a part-qualified nurse yesterday evening she made comments about the nurse who made this statement. It is probably best that I do not replicate her words here - suffice to say they implied that "she is not fit for purpose!".


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## am64 (Oct 16, 2009)

hope it all went well for you this morning X


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## Adrienne (Oct 16, 2009)

bev said:


> Hi Daniela and Graham,
> 
> Is there any possibility that you could go into school with your DSN and give little talk about diabetes and show the children the pens and needles etc. This often stops people from being 'scared' or 'ignorant' of what it is like to be diabetic. Education is the key.
> 
> ...




Hiya Bev

Daniela and Graham live where I do and unfortunately our DSN is pants.  She is on secondment at the moment anyway and we have a sort of replacement who does 2 days.    Our normal DSN should not be a DSN, I know more than she does.   She says that schools don't have to test if they don't want to and there is nothing she can say to them, she does not give any sort of training and won't start any kids on pumps and specifically puts kids on mixes and I quote 'because it is easier for the school'   my ar*e, she makes me mad so unfortunately Daniela is on her own there.

Daniela, have you spoken to our mutual friend at your school, with the other diabetic child.   Ask her what she thinks, does she know this nurse woman by any chance.  

I'm told your school is a fab school so you should be able to talk to the head and get reasonable answers.    Don't go in guns blazing as I know you want to, as would.

Let us know what happens.   Email me if you want.


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## grahams mum (Oct 16, 2009)

the SENCO teacer wasbusy with  assembly i will see her at 3 o clock


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## Viki (Oct 16, 2009)

Hi Adrienne,

Im horrifed that a so called nurse would make treament decision purely becuase it made life easier for a school??

My mum is a head teacher in a large junior school and they have an enormous variety of medical conditions to deal with. I know she and the other staff are more than willing to do whatever it takes to work with parents to best meet the kids needs. Obviously she is a bit biased towards the T1 families because she knows some of what theyre going through (I was 23 when i was diagnosed so its not quite the same as having to take full responsibility for your child, but i dont think she worries any less )

Recently one of the classroom assistants went on a special training course and worked with a family for about 6 weeks so that the little girl could go on the 1 week year 5 trip without feeling held back by her diabetes and so that her parents didnt have to worry!

That woman does not sound like she should be working with anyone let alone children.

Daniela i hope that if you had a chance to talk to the head this morning they have reassured you that Graham will be fine at school. He sounds like he handles tough situations wonderfully and hes a credit to you! It just a shame he has to be.

Let us know how he gets on today xx


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## grahams mum (Oct 16, 2009)

hi i was waiting for you adrienne  not no i havent see the other mum this morning  but i will ask how M does at school with the class and when other parents are around  what the reaction is


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## Steff (Oct 16, 2009)

hi daniela good luck for 3 o clock x come back on and let us all know what happened x


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## Patricia (Oct 16, 2009)

Daniela, just throwing my support behind you for this too. How awful for you and Graham. I'm sorry you are having to deal with it on top of everything else.

Best.


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## AlisonM (Oct 16, 2009)

Good luck Daniela. I hope the meeting goes well.


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## Adrienne (Oct 16, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> hi i was waiting for you adrienne  not no i havent see the other mum this morning  but i will ask how M does at school with the class and when other parents are around  what the reaction is



I have never ever heard a story where a mum whether a nurse or not, has ever said what you have been told.    It is totally outreageous.    If it were me and I knew where she worked then I would be making a formal written complaint to her manager.   Her conduct, as a nurse, outside of work, is totally and utterly in contempt of her code of ethics.    I wonder if I know her or I wonder if our mutual friend knows her, she is a nurse herself after all.   You should ask her.


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## shiv (Oct 16, 2009)

ohhhh this would make me SO ANGRY. good luck with the school etc!

adrienne - half the reason i want to go into nursing (specifically paediatric nursing, probably ending up as dsn!) is because of stories like that. don't get me wrong, 99.9999% of nurses are AMAZING (i had a fabulous team when i was still under the care of the children's) but one or two seem to have slipped through the net. ugh!


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## Adrienne (Oct 16, 2009)

Hiya Shiv

Believe me its a bit more than a few that have gone under the net.   If you had heard the stories that me and Becca have heard and we ahve both had bad experiences as well (me with two hospitals) you would not believe.   Some hospitals do listen.   Look at Bev and her hospital, they were behind but they had a new consultant and he and now the DSN as well (and she didn't listen before) listen to Bev and have taken on board what she knows.   There are so many hospitals out there that won't listen.    I have a list of hospitals that are good and bad, I need to update it actually.

Its great to know that you are doing this.   I hope Jessica goes into it as well actually.    It is only living with it, yourself or as a carer that you really know what its like.    I would love to be a DSN but there is no way I will or can train as a nurse.    The Law is in my blood not nursing I'm afraid and believe me these medical professionals are criminals !





shiv said:


> ohhhh this would make me SO ANGRY. good luck with the school etc!
> 
> adrienne - half the reason i want to go into nursing (specifically paediatric nursing, probably ending up as dsn!) is because of stories like that. don't get me wrong, 99.9999% of nurses are AMAZING (i had a fabulous team when i was still under the care of the children's) but one or two seem to have slipped through the net. ugh!


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## grahams mum (Oct 16, 2009)

meeting with SENCO teacher went REALLY WELL she couldnot believe what happenedand we will have a meeting  with the head teacher and THIS parents  then my friend she talk to this mum[nurse] and she said that she already spoke to the other mum  and they are all with her because i used sharps in the presence of children  i should have a sharps box with me  because beeing quite small i was on such level to hurt the children [ iam small 4 foot 8 inches but i am an adult and i dont go around stabbing children with the novopen]    does any of you have the sarp box with you all time i put graham needle in his special bag when we go out and i clear up every thing and refill for the next day usually in the late evening


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## AlisonM (Oct 16, 2009)

Are they kidding? You could build sandcastles with my sharps box! It seems to me this woman is scaring folk, which is completely irresponsible. Would it be possible to arrange a 'Diabetes Awareness' evening at the school to clear up all the misunderstandings?


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## Adrienne (Oct 16, 2009)

AlisonM said:


> Are they kidding? You could build sandcastles with my sharps box! It seems to me this woman is scaring folk, which is completely irresponsible. Would it be possible to arrange a 'Diabetes Awareness' evening at the school to clear up all the misunderstandings?



She probably wouldn't go though.   She is a nurse after all and of course knows all there is to know about diabetes although we think she is a general nurse on a general adults ward so not only is she not a diabetes specialist she is not even paediatric !!!!


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## sofaraway (Oct 16, 2009)

I never take a sharps box out with me, i don't usually take the needle off the pen though when I am out, if I do I just put it in my insulin case and dispose of it later.
Sorry to hear you have had to have this horrible experience.


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## Copepod (Oct 16, 2009)

Just to express an opinion from a slightly different angle... I had been qualified as a nurse for about 8 years when I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes aged 30 years, and had cared for a few people with diabetes during my career, but hadn't done any nursing for over 1 year before diagnosis, and had only been working part time for 5 years before that, in all departments / wards etc, as I was trying to make a career with my newly acquired BSc Marine Biology. Things had moved on between my last experience of caring for anyone with diabetes and my own diagnosis, so I relied on the diabetes specialist nurse - and was sorely disappointed. I'd seen excellent specialist nurses in other fields, eg stoma care, breast care, children with tracheostomies, so, not unreasonably, expected straight answers to at least some of my questions, not, for example, a laugh, when I asked if I'd have to stay in hospital to start on insulin. I hadn't heard of basal bolus insulin regimes, so didn't know any different when I was put on bimodal insulin without any discussion about what would suit me. When I got some information from a pharmacist friend in Tasmania, I asked about changing, and things began to improve. As this was 1996, there was very little internet / email (basically only academics had email addresses), so I didn't have much opportunity to resarch myself, except by writing to insulin and blood glucose testing companies for information about their products. 
These days, diabetes having made using Marine Biology degree even more difficult than before, I've had to go back into nursing, researching, and hopefully not being one of the very few ignorant / unfeeling nurses - but remember, diabetes is just one of many conditions, from the very common to the very rare, that nurses and medical professionals need to understand.


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## am64 (Oct 16, 2009)

Adrienne said:


> She probably wouldn't go though.   She is a nurse after all and of course knows all there is to know about diabetes although we think she is a general nurse on a general adults ward so not only is she not a diabetes specialist she is not even paediatric !!!!



but...this is worrying 'duty of care' and all that..whether a paediatric or not...


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## katie (Oct 16, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> ...does any of you have the sarp box with you all time i put graham needle in his special bag when we go out and i clear up every thing and refill for the next day usually in the late evening



No, I dont even use mine at home most of the time!  I dont think anybody would want to carry something bright yellow/orange around with them something that says "WARNING!! SHARPS! YOU WILL DIE!!" etc on it.  You should have informed the nurse that you can't catch diabetes, don't worry


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## Copepod (Oct 16, 2009)

Perhaps Graham could clip the sharp bits off his needles with a BD Safe Clip? It's not something anyone should do with someone else's needles, as there is a risk of needlestick injury, which could transmit blood borne viruses such as Hepatitis B or C or HIV. A Safe Clip is much smaller (about 7cm long, by 2 cm wide, by 1cm deep) than a sharps bin. Once the sharp bits are clipped off, the needle stubs can be carried in the insulin pen case. Alternatively, a 35mm film cannister is pocket sized, but not so secure, as lid can come off on purpose or by accident.


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## Adrienne (Oct 16, 2009)

Copepod said:


> - but remember, diabetes is just one of many conditions, from the very common to the very rare, that nurses and medical professionals need to understand.



Hiya

I don't think the problem with this woman is the fact she is a rubbish nurse, we don't know that, she may be specialist in something or just general and be great, it doesn't matter, the fact that she said ' ooo she's got a dirty needle'  is just horrendous from anyone but that she is a nurse on top of that is even worse than horrendous.


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## katie (Oct 16, 2009)

Yes, it doesn't matter what kind of nurse she was.  No nurse should be ignorant enough to say something like that.  In fact, no person in general should be that ignorant!


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## AlanJardine (Oct 17, 2009)

I would report this 'nurse' to the nursing coucil for bringing the profession into disrepute.


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## Adrienne (Oct 17, 2009)

AlanJardine said:


> I would report this 'nurse' to the nursing coucil for bringing the profession into disrepute.



Absolutely.


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## Copepod (Oct 17, 2009)

*right to fear used needles in many circumstances*

Actually, any needle that has been inside anyone else should be regarded with suspicion - no-one knows the precise blood borne virus status of another person, which is why it's best for the person injected to dispose of their own needle (in the real open world) or for the person who gave the injection to dispose of sharps waste into a sharps bin as soon and close as possible. 
The mother who objected was out of order in causing embarassment to Graham, but was right in teaching their own child to regard all used needles with suspicion - eg if they find a syringe and needle in bushes in a park, it is far more likely have been discarded by an intravenous drug abuser (more likely than general population to have Hep B / Hep C / HIV than general population) than it was used by someone who injected insulin, because such a person would have disposed of their needle safely, where it couldn't affect anyone else. They should have drawn the distinction between illegal and unsafe needle use and safe and essential insulin use.


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## AlisonM (Oct 17, 2009)

I don't think anyone would argue that used needles are dangerous, but that woman started fussing before Graham's mum even had time to put the thing away safely. She did it in the most negative and embarassing fashion possible, humiliating Graham and his mum in the process. There are positive ways of dealing with such situations that do not involve scaremongering and a nurse should have known better.


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## katie (Oct 17, 2009)

I doubt this woman was trying to teach her son about the dangers of used needles.  She was being plain ignorant.


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## grahams mum (Oct 17, 2009)

katie said:


> I doubt this woman was trying to teach her son about the dangers of used needles.  She was being plain ignorant.



i agree with you and thankyou for everybody support


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## Twitchy (Oct 17, 2009)

What b***** planet is that nasty stupid woman living on?!!  What kind of parent would even consider making such a nasty, snide comment out loud?! (or even thinking it?!!)  How viciously insecure does she have to be to use someone else's kid's medical condition to score points?!  

(I can't believe she was trying to educate her kid, sorry to be sceptical, but if that was the case & she a) really really felt she had to say something then & there (why?!) & b) had any kind of empathy AT ALL, surely she would say something more like, "isn't Graham brave having his injection? Remember, Fred (or whoever) you have to be really careful & not touch other people's medications because you don't want to break or lose them." and save any needle stick issues for later at home, where she wouldn't risk alienating, embaressing or humiliating the poor kid!  This smacks to me of just plain nasty vicious ignorance - & she's a nurse?!! Scary.

As for the total C*** about sharps bins...presumably once Graham's injection was done, if his mum had had the chance all the kit would have been quietly tucked away into his bag, the other kids probably would not even have noticed, so the only way this MORON's kid was likely to get a needlestick injury would be if he was a light fingered theiving little sod rumaging through Graham's stuff - in which case serve him flippin well right!

Daniella - hold your head up high when you see this bint - you & Graham have no reason at all to accept the stupid notions that this silly cow has got in her thick head.  She must be a very sad, lonely person with attitudes like that - who would want to be friends with someone so utterly cold hearted & bigoted?! Graham sounds amazingly mature, and a wonderful reflection on you - I will be so proud if my little lad is that sensible at 5! 

This just reminds me of the rumpus when a new presenter called Cerrie started on CBeebies - she was born with only one hand, so the other ends just past her elbow.  Unbelievably some parents had the gall to complain to the BBC, "in case" their kids were scared & they had to say something!!! I guess it just shows that there are just some totally nasty, ignorant people out there.  Well, sod them.  You've got the whole of this forum rooting for you! 

Please don't let this silly, deranged muppet get you down, judging by Graham's reaction to all this, you're a million times the better parent at least!


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## Copepod (Oct 17, 2009)

"The mother who objected was out of order in causing embarassment to Graham, but was right in teaching their own child to regard all used needles with suspicion"  (post #52) - I think this shows that I did acknowledge she was out of order in her words / manner - but health professionals, those who handle waste materials, those who clear vegetation in parks and rough ground etc are right to be aware of risks from needlestick injuries - they are offered Hepatitis B vaccine for a reason, but there is no vaccine against Hepatitis C or HIV.


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## katie (Oct 17, 2009)

Hi, I read your post fully and still maintain my view "I doubt this woman was trying to teach her son about the dangers of used needles. She was being plain ignorant".


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## grahams mum (Oct 17, 2009)

i spoke to a nurse and she said maybe she had a needlle injury in the past but is not my problem  she should not have done that !!!


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## Twitchy (Oct 17, 2009)

I totally agree that regarding needles on the ground, in waste etc, left lying around, "assume suspect" should definitely be the order of the day, and I would always caution my son against picking anything up that isn't his...including my own diabetes paraphernalia, & I know I've not got any nasties.  

However I think in this context, with the needle in question still being safely in Graham's mother's hand, this mother/nurse's comments were inappropriate, insulting & inflammatory & I can only assume were intended as a put down rather than as any kind of sensible warning to her child.  In front of the kid in question, in the middle of a kids' party is not the time nor the place to issue forth lectures on needle stick hazards really, is it? Maybe she has had a bad experience with needles in the past - and waiting to get test results back after a needle stick injury must be an extremely stressful & worrying time, but I still think she was using the subject as a weapon to be venomous - frankly I think as a person she's got bigger issues than needle stick phobia, but that's my opinion! 

I just think a little common sense, empathy & tact might have been better employed by the person issuing these remarks. (assuming they have a nice bone in their body that is!!)


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## Adrienne (Oct 17, 2009)

Copepod said:


> "The mother who objected was out of order in causing embarassment to Graham, but was right in teaching their own child to regard all used needles with suspicion"  (post #52) - I think this shows that I did acknowledge she was out of order in her words / manner - but health professionals, those who handle waste materials, those who clear vegetation in parks and rough ground etc are right to be aware of risks from needlestick injuries - they are offered Hepatitis B vaccine for a reason, but there is no vaccine against Hepatitis C or HIV.



Hiya Copepod

I think there is a time and a place to teach your children about 'dirty' needles and that was so definitely not the time nor place, infront of a young child who clearly had diabetes and who had to have an injection clearly not from a dirty  needle.    This was the absolutely epitomy of behaviour by a professional in the medical world.   This health professional was neither clearly vegetation in a park or rough ground but sitting at a children's birthday party.    Big difference.  

I'm not a violent person but I imagine the torrent of words that would have come from my mouth if I had been Graham's mum could well be likened with a violent attach !!!!!!!!!!  Actually that is wrong, I would have showed her up with my superior knowledge to hers in a very eloquent fashion ha ha ha.......... she would have been very red faced I'm sure.


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## Copepod (Oct 18, 2009)

I agree that some health professionals have very odd reactions to some things - I've had contact with several who faint at the sight of a needle that is going into themselves, whether for intramuscualr immunisation or to have blood taken from them. I have repeatedly said that the woman who commented at the party was out of order and caused uneccessary distress and embarassment, but I still say that it is appropriate to teach children (in a more sensitive way) not to go anywhere near anyone with a needle in their hand - not least because if they accidently joult the person having the injection, they may cause unecessary pain to that person, as well as risking coming into contact with the needle before it is safely stowed somewhere. 
I have worked with people who have suffered accidental needlestick injury and faced at least 6 months of blood taking and checking, until they are sure they haven't picked up a blood borne infection such as Hepatitis B or C or HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. I would choose to have neither diabetes or HIV, but if I only have to have 1, then I'm glad it's diabetes. I don't have HIV, but do have friends who have, so have some understanding of the restrictions on their lives.
It is perfectly appropriate for anyone present at the party incident to report the events to Nursing and Midwifery Council, although I'm not sure how much they can do unless the nurse is qualified and her name is known. I wasn't there, so my comments are only speculation, but sometimes it's helpful to know how an "adversary" might be thinking and how it might have influenced their actions.


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## tracey w (Oct 18, 2009)

Copepod said:


> Actually, any needle that has been inside anyone else should be regarded with suspicion - no-one knows the precise blood borne virus status of another person, which is why it's best for the person injected to dispose of their own needle (in the real open world) or for the person who gave the injection to dispose of sharps waste into a sharps bin as soon and close as possible.
> The mother who objected was out of order in causing embarassment to Graham, but was right in teaching their own child to regard all used needles with suspicion - eg if they find a syringe and needle in bushes in a park, it is far more likely have been discarded by an intravenous drug abuser (more likely than general population to have Hep B / Hep C / HIV than general population) than it was used by someone who injected insulin, because such a person would have disposed of their needle safely, where it couldn't affect anyone else. They should have drawn the distinction between illegal and unsafe needle use and safe and essential insulin use.



yes, agreed, and i dont think anyone here is disputing that children need to be taught about safe practices if "they find a needle in a park or something",  however this lady was completely out of order in the way she handled the situation, it was not only embarassing for Graham an his mum in front of others, but outright ignorant, nurse or not! There is a time and a way to teach children and this certainly was not it.


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## grahams mum (Oct 19, 2009)

hi is daniela i am having a meeting with the head teacher tomorrow  i will let you know what happened bye


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## Steff (Oct 19, 2009)

good luck daniela x


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## Twitchy (Oct 19, 2009)

Hi Daniella,

All the best for tomorrow, I hope the meeting goes well & the headteacher has some good ideas for making something positive out of all this! 

All the best,

Twitchy 

ps - Copepod - good point re teaching kids not to go near someone with a needle in hand so they don't jolt them - my little lad, hubby & cat at least have been well & truely trained!


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## grahams mum (Oct 19, 2009)

thanks everybody i read the code of practice of nurses and midwife  and guideline for sharps  dsposal  for few ideas   very interesting the part about dignity confidentiality  and uphold the profession reputation !!!!!


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## Copepod (Oct 20, 2009)

*Training cats*

Twitchy - I'd love to know how you trained your cat - mine jumps on or off my shoulders at the most unexpected moments! Humans I can explain to, but she doesn't understand "get off" until I've moved her off my shoulders at least 3 times. Since she can jump from floor to shoulder (about 5ft), just moving away from high points where she's sitting doesn't work.
But, that's derailing from dealing with inappropriate comments from adult humans...


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## grahams mum (Oct 20, 2009)

*meeting*

hi guys  i try to make it short  it was a 45 minutes meeting  " explained what happened with my words   then  i said that beeing a nurse she should  have followed the code of practice from NMC RIGHTS TO DIGNITY  and she did not she embarassed and humiliated graham and me in public  right to confidentiality  she did not ,she approach all the parents in the class [including my friend] present and not present at the party and she has not any rights to speak about me and graham   and beeing a nurse should behaved honestly and professionaly at all time at work and outside in the community she broke all the code of practice and i dont have to justify what i do with my son because i do try to do the best  and i donot have to follow  any code of practice i have  only duty of care to my son and the people around usif she is not happy she can send a letter at the head of the pediatric diabetes team and ask for the guidelines to use in the community also knownedas the real world the answer will be common sense the i add that if she carry on harrasing me or she try to approach me i will formally complain to the NMC because i dont socialise  with ignorant people and i am not in competition with the other parents and their birthday party i feel much better now thanks again for the support xxdaniela


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## tracey w (Oct 20, 2009)

Daniela, good for you, you stood your ground! What did they say to all that?


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## grahams mum (Oct 20, 2009)

they i did my homework really well  my manager at work really help  me on the legal side of it  she is a reg nurse health visitor matron ecc ecc  and the mum of the other diabetic girl in graham school she is a nurse as well hlp me on the parent school issue


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## grahams mum (Oct 20, 2009)

the mum she did not take the boy to school this morning the father did they ask me if it was something to do with me


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## Adrienne (Oct 20, 2009)

Well done Daniela.    Good for you.  Are the school going to be doing anything about this?   

What is happening with the other parents in the playground, is everything ok?


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## AlisonM (Oct 21, 2009)

That's really well done Daniela. I think you did a great job. Keep us posted if there are any more developments won't you?


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## katie (Oct 21, 2009)

good on you Daniela


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## am64 (Oct 21, 2009)

well done daneila, this must be very stressful for you aswell, you have enough to deal with without ingorant bullies....i remember what waiting in the playground can be like with the mums etc....but its half term next week and so hopefully the bullying will blow over and the school will deal with it appropriately ! Good luckX


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## grahams mum (Oct 21, 2009)

thanks everybody i am very please with myself


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## Adrienne (Oct 21, 2009)

grahams mum said:


> thanks everybody i am very please with myself



I've just spoken to Daniela and the girl done good !!   She kept her calm even though very angry, she remembered everything we told her and her manager told and all the research she has done.   The other woman is so in the wrong and seems to have stopped showing her face at school and sending husband in.     We will wait and see...........


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## am64 (Oct 21, 2009)

Adrienne said:


> I've just spoken to Daniela and the girl done good !!   She kept her calm even though very angry, she remembered everything we told her and her manager told and all the research she has done.   The other woman is so in the wrong and seems to have stopped showing her face at school and sending husband in.     We will wait and see...........



well done daneila for keeping your dignity what a good mum X


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## Twitchy (Oct 22, 2009)

You go Girl!!!   Well done!!  It is so horrible & stressful when you feel under attack like that, especially when it's targeted, or feels like it's targeted at your kid, but you did exactly the right thing - beat down that woman's ignorance & bigotry with the cold hard facts! Well done!  (Hopefully she's now feeling horribly embarrassed - the biter bit!  On a positive note, maybe she'll learn something from all this & be a better nurse for it.)

Well done!  Fingers crossed for calm now in the run-up to Christmas - you deserve a rest! 

Copepod - actually, I was being a bit optimistic - I have however perfected a scary look that normally (!) either deters moggy, or prompts the OH into taking pre-emptive action to distract him!  Guess I just have a really scary face when I concentrate!


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