# Black Dog Crash



## AlisonM (Mar 13, 2013)

I thought waiting for the neurology appointment was bad, but waiting for the results is far worse. I've spent the last few days in my room in floods of tears and just can't seem to get my mind off what's happening. In addition, I now need reminders set on my phone for absolutely everything: get up, test, wash, eat, shop, test, inject, eat, walk, eat, pay bills/renew prescription, get new cert, test, inject, go to bed. 

Without them I forget most of it. I have to keep notes on the phone with pins, passwords and my phone number because I can't recall them unaided. I went intoed  town earlier for some shopping but, when I got there, I couldn't remember what I was there for so I turned round and came home again. I'll have to go again later, or maybe tomorrow.

And finally I had to give in my notice at work because I'm not capable of handling it any more and they need someone desperately. That really breaks my heart, I loved my job. They've been very supportive but there comes a time when something has to give.

I feel so low, and helpless, and useless. I don't know what to do with myself.


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## Northerner (Mar 13, 2013)

Oh Alison, I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low  I hope that they can get to the bottom of the problem and find you a treatment that will restore your memory and health very soon. {{{Alison}}}


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## Caroline (Mar 13, 2013)

sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I hope things improve for you soon


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## Sazzaroo (Mar 13, 2013)

_Hi Alison,

I'm not sure what is going on 100% for you at present and it is such a shame that you have reached this point and feel for you as I can relate from my own experience in the past.
I would like to offer some advise if ok? That would be for you to speak to your GP and get a referral for some psychological help to stop this getting any worse being as you have taken such a drastic measure in handing in your notice.

There is a good site to have a look at if helpful http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ 

I Hope things will start to pick up for you soon but please don't pressure yourself with too much at present but do seek some help as you are worth it _


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## Twitchy (Mar 13, 2013)

Can't offer any advice but here's a big (((((hug))))). I hope you get the results soon & they arebetter than you think. Take care & be kind to yourself. Xxx


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## newbs (Mar 13, 2013)

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so low and that you've had to hand in your notice.  I really hope that you get results soon and that something that can be done to improve things and make you feel much better.  Look after yourself.


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## AlisonM (Mar 13, 2013)

Oh, and I keep losing my 'net connection too!

Thanks all. And Sazz, I've talked to the doctor and there's minimum 18 months waiting list for help unless I'm likely to harm myself, which I'm not. The only other alternative is 'happy pills' and I don't want those, they don't help.

I've been battling depression most of my life and I 'know' I can get through it. Doesn't make me feel any better in the short term though.


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## HelenP (Mar 14, 2013)

Alison, so sorry to hear what you're going through right now, it broke my heart reading your post, the 'desperation' and frustration oozed out from every line.

I have nothing to offer you, sadly, but I hope to read on here pretty soon that you have come out the other side of the depression, and the docs have put a finger on what is causing the horrid memory problems you are suffering.

xx


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## AJLang (Mar 14, 2013)

I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much.  I hope that finding out the answers to your memory problems will help to speed up the recovery process.


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## Sazzaroo (Mar 14, 2013)

_I do see what you're saying Alison and hope that site may help. We are here for you so keep posting and you are in my thoughts_.  x


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## HOBIE (Mar 14, 2013)

Hi Alison, me & family were up past inverness in the summer ,camping on the beach at the best place to see dolfins in uk.  Excellent fish & chips, good butcher, baker & nice place to be.  Hope everything turns out well


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## AlisonM (Mar 15, 2013)

Writing that silly rhyme seems to have cheered me up a bit. I'll have to try and remember that.

And, you're right HOBIE, there are sone lovely spots up here. My favourite beach, other than Hopeman, is by a place called Laide in Sutherland. Short of somewhere tropical, it's perfect.


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