# Update on things CONTAINS TRIGGERS



## gail1 (Jan 13, 2011)

*WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS SUBJECTS THAT MAY OFFEND AND TRIGGER
*
As some of you may know im not very well mental health wise at the moment this is just a mini update. if it offends or upsets im sorry




i saw my ex sw this morning and she was great i told her im on that pathway of doing something very bad. asked if there was any way of getting crisis team involved told her i know im not allowed home visits but surely there's got to be a way to work round it. shes going to have a word with crisis team and see if over the weekend they can maybe meat me somewhere or at the least give me a phone call she did say she cant promise anything as they are very busy at the moment. shes also going to see if one of her co-workers can see me tomorrow as shes unavailable. i came out of there feeling like someone was listening to me so thats a good start Shes going to call me sometime today to let me know what they say so wish me luck
she even undestood about the sh and why i cant as police took away kit when they last took me in


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## Steff (Jan 13, 2011)

Hay Gail thanks for the update, she sounds like just the type of person you need in your life at the moment, i hope she can sort things out and get you what you need...all the best good luck let us know what happens xxx


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## Caroline (Jan 13, 2011)

The update sounds promising and it is good you feel someone listened to you. I hope you get everything you need and it continues to be very positive.


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## Catwoman76 (Jan 13, 2011)

gail1 said:


> *WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS SUBJECTS THAT MAY OFFEND AND TRIGGER
> *
> As some of you may know im not very well mental health wise at the moment this is just a mini update. if it offends or upsets im sorry
> 
> ...




Dear gail, you never offend or upset, I'm so glad sw is trying to help you A great big GOOD LUCK to you.  sheena x


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## Northerner (Jan 13, 2011)

Hi Gail, it can make such a difference when someone listens to you, so I am pleased you got to see someone who has - hopefully she will be able to arrange things and get you the help you need. Wishing you the best of luck, my friend, take care.


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## Robster65 (Jan 13, 2011)

As already said, hope you find someone who listens and understands, then helps you to progress. A magic combination if you can get it.

All your posts are educational. WHat is usually a closed, private (secretive?) world is now becoming slightly more clear. Thank you for that.

Rob


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## AlisonM (Jan 13, 2011)

Any news babe?


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## Copepod (Jan 13, 2011)

Hope you can meet someone from Crisis Team somewhere - does your GP surgery have a room you could use?


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## Dizzydi (Jan 13, 2011)

Just to say thinking of you Gail and I hope you are able to see someone swiftly and get all the continual help you need xxx


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## Andy HB (Jan 13, 2011)

Hi Gail, I've not been replying much to your posts recently because I can't really add anything.

Suffice to say that I hope that you can get through all this and start coming through the other side soon.

All the best,

Andy


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## gail1 (Jan 13, 2011)

im still waiting am gluded to my mobile have just been out with my homestart worker i tpld him how i feel and the planns that r going thou my mind and he said hes going to have to get in touch with sw today as hes very concerned about how i am


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## bev (Jan 13, 2011)

gail1 said:


> im still waiting am gluded to my mobile have just been out with my homestart worker i tpld him how i feel and the planns that r going thou my mind and he said hes going to have to get in touch with sw today as hes very concerned about how i am



Hi Gail,

I am so pleased that you seem to have someone who has listened to you - lets hope that something comes of this and you actually get the help that you need.Bev


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## gail1 (Jan 13, 2011)

I give up im banging my head against a brickwall. sw called me back and guess wot surprise surprise cant get anything from the crisis team they are that busy with assessments over weekend etc. they cant offer to meet me OR even give me a call at all but sw said they are more than happy for me to call them. told her have you tryed contacting them at night its impossible she said i know there are issues with contacting them thats why at nights now they also have someone from the county team as well. asked her if it was because it was me and she said no. i told her im in crisis wot are the crisis team for. something needs to be sorted out for me, she said maybe if something comes from your gp they might do something. its as i told her they will not allow me home visits so wots the use. she did say something needs to be sorted out for me and when was my next review i told her i think the system is failing me. she went a bit quite at this. She then said im sorry theres nothing else i can do or suggest i told her i want to go to sleep and never wake up.
she told me a colledge of hers would call me in the morning and fix a time for me to go in and see them tomorrow. Maybe i expect to much maybe i ask to much I guess i will have to ask my gp to help me


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## Steff (Jan 13, 2011)

Aww Gail thats terrible of course your not asking to much you need care and you  need it fast, thats what there supposed to be there for, your crisis team seem to have turned there back in your hour of need and thats scandelous the longer this carries on the worse it could get.Its so blooming shocking you have to go through this seemingly on your own...........      ((((hugs)))


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## sofaraway (Jan 13, 2011)

Sorry to hear things are so difficult for you at the moment. I find it difficult to reply without being annoying to you. I'm not sure when I was in your position how well I would have taken advice from someone who was well. 

I was pleased you posted the thread about what BPD is, what I do hope is that instead of how you feel at the moment, that it describes you. You get to a place where you don't relate to that and don't feel it represents you. I know that it is possible with the right help. Any news on the TC yet? I totally believe in TC's/ TC style therapy.

It doesn't seem like the crisis team is very helpful to you, do you know what is?


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## gail1 (Jan 13, 2011)

no news of th tc its an ongoing saga with pct


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## Robster65 (Jan 13, 2011)

There seems to be a huge black hole between being disgnosis/assessment/GP care and the actual treatment end of the MH system.

I know there's a shortage of psych's in circulation but surely they could fund more qualified nurses and the like to work in crisis teams. 

You're right when you said the system has failed you. They can tell you what you need but can't provide it. Or it's on a 12 month waiting list. 

ust a long shot but have you tried contacting someone high profile like Stephen Fry who may be in touch with organisations that can represent you ?

Rob


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## margie (Jan 13, 2011)

I can hear your frustration - but hang in there. 

Have you tried CBT for your thoughts. You look at the thought and look for another way of seeing the situation.

eg - you see a friend in the street, you let on and they ignore you - you think they are deliberately avoiding you and don't like you. You might challenge this by saying they didn't see me and whenever we arrange to see me they are supportive and caring.

Above - you say you want to go asleep and not wake up - I think you should challenge this with the evidence to the contrary  ie you are pursuing a strategy to get help, you are on here asking for help - in truth you want to live - you just don't know how to make things better.  Your mind is playing tricks on you making you believe one thing whilst you actions are saying something very different, and your actions are showing the true you.

Hang on in there the meeting tomorrow could really help - if they see you and you can  take your advocate with you - you could be a step closer to a solution.

It seems your care-team are not doing what they should - here is the Government's page on the subject

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/HealthAndSupport/MentalHealth/DG_10023332

I mentioned on your other thread using a gratitude diary - have you tried that technique ?


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## bev (Jan 13, 2011)

margie said:


> I can hear your frustration - but hang in there.
> 
> Have you tried CBT for your thoughts. You look at the thought and look for another way of seeing the situation.
> 
> ...



Hi Gail,
I think Margie's advice is great and I agree with her that there is something inside you that is trying so hard to get help - so this shows us that you dont want to give up - you are just fed up struggling and you deserve to get the right help.
I know it sounds like a long way off - but just focus on the idea that you only have to wait until tomorrow to be able to get your feelings and problems across to the people who might be able to help.
You know how much we all care about you and we want you to feel better because you are so nice - I am sure that your Social Worker and others can see the same thing. Do you have someone you could stay with tonight or someone you can ring if things are getting too much.Bev


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## gail1 (Jan 13, 2011)

have tryed cbt and found that it does not work as well as dbt. am hoping gp will maybe able to get me some help
dont have anyone to stay with me tonight


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## Flutterby (Jan 13, 2011)

Gail, you are very important to us on here.  You are valued and an important member of our forum family.  You share advice, you make us laugh with jokes, you teach us and support us, we like you because you are just you and we need you - just as everyone on here is needed.  Try to hold on to this when you feel at your lowest, try to remember that you do have a part to play and an important part at that.  I don't know if that helps or not but perhaps it can counter some of the negatives in your mind.  Thinking of you and wanting good things to happen to  help you get well.  Lots of Love.xx


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## RachelT (Jan 13, 2011)

Gail, just to let you know that my thoughts are with you. I wish i could do more but i know i can't. Stay strong and don't give up, you've got lots of friends here who care about you.

Rachel


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## gail1 (Jan 13, 2011)

thank you all for your kindness hope i have some luck with gp tomorrow


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## Robster65 (Jan 13, 2011)

Could you print this thread off to show your GP gail ?

If you can show him the gail we know, would it help him to understand your needs better ?

Rob


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## Catwoman76 (Jan 14, 2011)

gail1 said:


> thank you all for your kindness hope i have some luck with gp tomorrow



Dear gail, How are you this morning?  Please get in touch, just so we know how you are.  Rob's idea of printing all these off and showing your doctor or Sw is a good idea.  Take care dear gail. Lots of love and warmest wishes Sheena xxx


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## bev (Jan 14, 2011)

Robster65 said:


> Could you print this thread off to show your GP gail ?
> 
> If you can show him the gail we know, would it help him to understand your needs better ?
> 
> Rob



Hi Gail,
I think Rob has given great advice. Sometimes the 'real' person gets lost in the medical side of things and it might be good for your team to see how you are 'really' feeling as opposed to seeing you in a hospital situation and feeling very desperate and ill.Bev


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## KateR (Jan 14, 2011)

Good luck with everything. Am thinking of you.


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## gail1 (Jan 14, 2011)

thank you all i have just got back from seeing gp, i copyrd this thread onto memory stick and showed him it. His first words were what response do you want from me tpld him i dont know i just want some help thats all. He said that im in crisis and in his view they should be offering me admittance to Hellstone (our psy hossie), hes not very happy with the fact that crisis team cant help he said they need to see me and if after that they dont admit me they are wrong, his precise words we know what is going to happen this weekend and its no good you ending up in the norfolk and norwich again.told him that this time that would not happen as my plan was to take a one way journey to somewhere where nobody knows me and that i didt want to come back said to him its in my crisis plan that they think acute admittance does me no good so you know wot they are going to say.He asked me who from the team was going to call and see me told him i could not remember her name so he said he was going to ring them up and that when she rang me i was to tell her to ring him. i think hes going to try and get me admitted but i dont think it will happen. rang them up to see if i could find out who it was and it was ******* told her that my gp wanted to speak to her she asked why so i told her at this she got a bit snotty and said he can instigate that himself, said she would call him after a meeting she was about to attend. i dont hold out much hope i think i will get the bums rush


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## Sheilagh1958 (Jan 14, 2011)

Hope you get something sorted today. Hopefully they will get back onto you very shortly. 

Love and hugs to you Sheilagh x


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## gail1 (Jan 14, 2011)

things have moved on i called her back and she was on the phone to my gp so she called me back and told me that my GP has instigated an assessment under the mental health act, she said she couldt do it as she has not seen me today. so now i have to wait at home for the pdocs/sw etc to come round and access me have been told that the police may be involved. it could be any time including late tonight please i hope they listen and can help me please


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## Flutterby (Jan 14, 2011)

You are in my thoughts Gail, do keep updating us as we worry about you.  Thank you for keeping us all up to date so far. I hope you get the help you deserve and need.xx


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## gail1 (Jan 14, 2011)

this is getting beyond a joke call from social worker the duty team are not coming out as im willing to go in as an informal patient the crisis team are coming to access me for informal admission instead but she did say that they are having to juggle beds on the ward at the moment
im loosing hope now


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## Northerner (Jan 14, 2011)

gail1 said:


> this is getting beyond a joke call from social worker the duty team are not coming out as im willing to go in as an informal patient the crisis team are coming to access me for informal admission instead but she did say that they are having to juggle beds on the ward at the moment
> im loosing hope now



Don't lose hope Gail, keeping fingers crossed for you that they can sort something out.


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## bev (Jan 14, 2011)

Hi Gail,
How are things.Bev


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## RachelT (Jan 14, 2011)

Yeah, sorry Gail, beds in hospitals are a bit of a rarity at the moment. Although even Northampton hasn't started shipping our flu patients out to Berrywood (our local mental health hospital) yet. Hang on in there.


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## Robster65 (Jan 14, 2011)

Not much consolation, but we're all waiting with you. 

Rob


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## gail1 (Jan 14, 2011)

its still 21.12 still waiting sw did say it may be n ight shift they dont start till abouy 945


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## bev (Jan 14, 2011)

gail1 said:


> its still 21.12 still waiting sw did say it may be n ight shift they dont start till abouy 945



Hi Gail,
I will be thinking about you and hope you get the help you need and do let us know how you are.Bev


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## Lizzzie (Jan 14, 2011)

Hope it's going ok Gail.

I won't try to offer you advice because have no understanding of how this must be for you, but you are doing a very valuable thing in increasing my understanding just by keeping posting. Just wanted to say I regularly read your posts when I can get on-line and despite rarely posting anything constructive, am mentally cheering you on all the way.  You are a strong person, even if it doesn't feel like it. Keep battling; hang on in there.

Hopefully one day, when you are even stronger in battle, you'll be able to help to give to others what was lacking in the support that you are currently being given by your crisis team. Meanwhile, don't let their failure bring you down.


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## gail1 (Jan 15, 2011)

crisis team are a bunch of c++ts what a total and utter waste of time today has been i give up i have no faith in the mental health system any more. im to upset to post wot happened sorry


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## gail1 (Jan 15, 2011)

what a total balls up I wanted untill 11pm then called the crisis team up he told me that sue had tryed to ring me and had got no reply, he told me that if i wanted an assessment i would have to go to the ward itself, this is because im not allowed home visits. so i did first thing he said was im not going to admitt you as you have had mutable admissions and i agree with DR gossie they do you no good. told him how i was feeling the plan i had to take an overdose, i was hearing voices seeing things the voices were telling me to take the overdose etc. he said i can see you have sh ed on your arm how does that help. have you ever tried distraction tecnics like rubber bands etc told him i had and they just didt work. wanted to know why i though that an admission would work told him i needed to be safe for the weekend. He agreed to the crisis team meeting me in the city tomorrow they will call at about 10am to discus time and place. told him my gp though i needed to be admitted and he said what would he know about mental health. I said to him what if i do take an overdose and he said if you do you do. you are wellcome to phone us if you need to talk.
he was a nasty man and did not give a sh+t about me to be honest that was the feeling i got. now i dont know what to do i can feel that act calling me
now i dont know what to do any more today has been a complete and utter waste of time :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:


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## tracey w (Jan 15, 2011)

Gail, I have no clue what to say that can help you.

But you know we are all listening to you, please be strong. xxxx


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## bev (Jan 15, 2011)

Hi Gail,
I think you need to ring your GP's - even though its out of hours - and ask to speak to your nice GP and tell him what you were planning. I cannot believe the attitude of the person you spoke to and the way he 'handled' things. I thought people from MHT teams were supposed to be good listeners and be able to offer advice when you feel like this. Tell your GP this is urgent and you need help now. I will be thinking about you and please let us know how you are later.Bev


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## margie (Jan 15, 2011)

Hope the crisis team call to arrange that meeting. As for the person you saw - I am sorry you didn't have an advocate with you. Its all very well saying you can call us if you need to but why would you bother if you knew all you were going to get was disinterest and negative comments. 

I hope that you get some positive news today one way or another.


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## Flutterby (Jan 15, 2011)

Thinking of you Gail and hoping you are ok, how are things today.  Hope the crisis team have been in touch.xx


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## Catwoman76 (Jan 15, 2011)

gail1 said:


> what a total balls up I wanted untill 11pm then called the crisis team up he told me that sue had tryed to ring me and had got no reply, he told me that if i wanted an assessment i would have to go to the ward itself, this is because im not allowed home visits. so i did first thing he said was im not going to admitt you as you have had mutable admissions and i agree with DR gossie they do you no good. told him how i was feeling the plan i had to take an overdose, i was hearing voices seeing things the voices were telling me to take the overdose etc. he said i can see you have sh ed on your arm how does that help. have you ever tried distraction tecnics like rubber bands etc told him i had and they just didt work. wanted to know why i though that an admission would work told him i needed to be safe for the weekend. He agreed to the crisis team meeting me in the city tomorrow they will call at about 10am to discus time and place. told him my gp though i needed to be admitted and he said what would he know about mental health. I said to him what if i do take an overdose and he said if you do you do. you are wellcome to phone us if you need to talk.
> he was a nasty man and did not give a sh+t about me to be honest that was the feeling i got. now i dont know what to do i can feel that act calling me
> now i dont know what to do any more today has been a complete and utter waste of time :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:



Gail it's Sheena I am sitting here reading your thread and I am so upset and annoyed for you. I cannot believe these people, it's making me frustrated and angry, so god only knows how it is really affecting you.  Can you pm me I would like to give you an address I found. In what county do you live? Sheena x


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## Monica (Jan 15, 2011)

Grrrrr - my heart really started racing while I read this. He was very callous. "if you do, you do" is heartless. And what's the point in calling him again if you need to talk, with that kind of attitude???? You are crying out for help, so you should be given help. I think this man is in the wrong profession.

I hope your crisis team meeting went well today and you are safe. If I was religious I'd pray for you. As I'm not, I'll just say that I am thinking positive thoughts for you and hope you will be safe.


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## bev (Jan 15, 2011)

Hi Gail,
How are you - do let someone know you are allright - we all worry about you.Bev


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## gail1 (Jan 15, 2011)

i waited till 11am called them they said they had been trying to call me turns out my sw had given them my old land line number from 3 years ago meet up with ***** down city for an hour. will be seeing one of them tomorrow as well
im not well that thought is going though my mind am trying to beat it


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## bev (Jan 15, 2011)

gail1 said:


> i waited till 11am called them they said they had been trying to call me turns out my sw had given them my old land line number from 3 years ago meet up with ***** down city for an hour. will be seeing one of them tomorrow as well
> im not well that thought is going though my mind am trying to beat it



Hi Gail,
Thankyou for letting us know. Please ring your team tonight if you feel those awful feelings - you are too special to us and we all want you to get help.Bev x


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## Monica (Jan 15, 2011)

bev said:


> Hi Gail,
> Thankyou for letting us know. Please ring your team tonight if you feel those awful feelings - you are too special to us and we all want you to get help.Bev x



I'm with Bev.


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## gail1 (Jan 15, 2011)

thank you all for your kindness it helps a lot i have rung the crisis team a couple of times this after noon im just so scared of wot may hapen


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## Sheilagh1958 (Jan 15, 2011)

Hi Gail hope you are feeling better this evening you are such a stronger person (probably alot stronger than you realise) and can beat these thoughts. If these thoughts come into your head again just try and replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts think of all us on this forum  and how much we all care about you.

Sending big hugs


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