# Oh my...I think we did it!



## merrymunky

I’ve had two very faint positive tests today at 11 days past ovulation. Waiting to see a very definite line then I will be straight on the phone to the pregnancy consultant at the diabetic clinic. 

I’m in shock. Third month properly trying since our loss last year. I didn’t think it would ever happen again. 

I’m also absolutely petrified now I know just how wrong this can go.


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## grovesy

Good luck and hope it goes well. It is understandable to be petrified.


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## merrymunky

grovesy said:


> Good luck and hope it goes well. It is understandable to be petrified.


I’ve experienced the very worst that can happen. I know all the other issues I may come up against. Trying to relax, stay calm and just enjoy it for now.


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## SB2015

merrymunky said:


> I’ve experienced the very worst that can happen. I know all the other issues I may come up against. Trying to relax, stay calm and just enjoy it for now.


Great news.


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## Northerner

I am keeping everything crossed for you!


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## Thebearcametoo

Quietly crossing my fingers for you xx


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## Pigeon

Oh wow, I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!

Not wanting to hijack your thread, but I have been quiet on here lately because .... I am pregnant too! I also had a miscarriage last year and so I totally understand how anxious a time it is. But you are in a much better place health-wise now and you are doing everything you can for your baby with being back on the diabetes wagon. Make sure your diabetes team know and get some early scans.

We had a scan at 6 weeks and I was just in limbo beforehand not wanting to get my hopes up. They said the heartbeat appeared too slow, although that could be because it was too small to see properly, so we had to go back at 8 weeks. I was convinced it would have gone wrong again (we lost the last one at 8 weeks) but at 8 weeks all was fine  then we had a scan at 13 weeks and the little chap/lady was wriggling around all over the place, amazing to see. I've got my 16 week midwife appointment this morning, so it's all starting to seem a  bit more real now, but I don't think I will relax at all! Don't want to take anything for granted until the baby is in my arms.

So my advice is stay positive, allow yourself to get excited because it IS exciting, but get all the help and reassurance with it that you can too. We never told our families about the pregnancy last year so it has been lovely sharing the news with them all this time. Although I was a bit freaked out when my mother-in-law started buying baby-grows already! She meant well though, but it's obvious there's no doubt in her mind that positive result=baby, whereas unfortunately you and I know that's not always the case, sadly.

I am massive already because I have fibroids, there were 3 that were bigger than the baby at the last scan! I felt a bit awkward telling people at first as everyone at work asked the due date and I was explaining to everyone that I can't go beyond 38 weeks because of diabetes etc and I'm big because of the fibroids. Felt like a bit of a reject! I felt a bit better after speaking to 2 other girls who are pregnant at work, both younger than me, and one has got gestational diabetes and one has got a hormone problem which means she's having extra checks and neither can go beyond 38 weeks either so it made me realise that no-one has an easy pregnancy and everyone stresses about stuff.

So that was a long message but massive congratulations, I hope everything goes well for you and pop on here to rant/stress/ask questions whenever you feel like it!

Take care, xxx


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## Grannylorraine

Keeping my fingers crossed for you Merry.


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## merrymunky

Pigeon said:


> Oh wow, I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!
> 
> Not wanting to hijack your thread, but I have been quiet on here lately because .... I am pregnant too! I also had a miscarriage last year and so I totally understand how anxious a time it is. But you are in a much better place health-wise now and you are doing everything you can for your baby with being back on the diabetes wagon. Make sure your diabetes team know and get some early scans.
> 
> We had a scan at 6 weeks and I was just in limbo beforehand not wanting to get my hopes up. They said the heartbeat appeared too slow, although that could be because it was too small to see properly, so we had to go back at 8 weeks. I was convinced it would have gone wrong again (we lost the last one at 8 weeks) but at 8 weeks all was fine  then we had a scan at 13 weeks and the little chap/lady was wriggling around all over the place, amazing to see. I've got my 16 week midwife appointment this morning, so it's all starting to seem a  bit more real now, but I don't think I will relax at all! Don't want to take anything for granted until the baby is in my arms.
> 
> So my advice is stay positive, allow yourself to get excited because it IS exciting, but get all the help and reassurance with it that you can too. We never told our families about the pregnancy last year so it has been lovely sharing the news with them all this time. Although I was a bit freaked out when my mother-in-law started buying baby-grows already! She meant well though, but it's obvious there's no doubt in her mind that positive result=baby, whereas unfortunately you and I know that's not always the case, sadly.
> 
> I am massive already because I have fibroids, there were 3 that were bigger than the baby at the last scan! I felt a bit awkward telling people at first as everyone at work asked the due date and I was explaining to everyone that I can't go beyond 38 weeks because of diabetes etc and I'm big because of the fibroids. Felt like a bit of a reject! I felt a bit better after speaking to 2 other girls who are pregnant at work, both younger than me, and one has got gestational diabetes and one has got a hormone problem which means she's having extra checks and neither can go beyond 38 weeks either so it made me realise that no-one has an easy pregnancy and everyone stresses about stuff.
> 
> So that was a long message but massive congratulations, I hope everything goes well for you and pop on here to rant/stress/ask questions whenever you feel like it!
> 
> Take care, xxx


Huge congratulations to you. I hope the appointment has gone well. That’s where my dreams came crashing down last time. 16 weeks. I don’t know how I will face any appointments without a panic attack this time round. 

My line is still faint at 12dpo this morning so waiting to see if it progresses. As soon as I am satisfied that it is I will be on the phone to the pregnancy consultant at the diabetic centre. 

Here’s my test this morning...I would have hoped for a darker line than yesterday but hopefully the hcg is on the rise. Still, at this stage a line is a line and that means pregnant. I’ve had three first response positives so they can’t be lying.


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## SB2015

So excited for both of you @Pigeon and @merrymunky .
Brilliant


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## KARNAK

Great news @merrymunky think positive, keep us informed. Same for you @Pigeon.


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## Pine Marten

Many congratulations to you both, @merrymunky and @Pigeon, and good wishes - I became a granny to a lovely granddaughter a month ago so I can vicariously appreciate your excitement and your anxiety!


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## Lilian

Wonderful news.   I hope all goes well and smoothly for you with a bundle of joy at the end.


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## grainger

Everything crossed for you both x


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## merrymunky

Well there’s no denying it. Digital confirmation! 

As I promised my pregnancy consultant at the diabetic clinic, I have made contact to let them know. I got a call back from the midwife unit this afternoon. As always they are so on top of things. I have a clinic appointment with my pregnancy consultant next Friday then the following Friday I have an early dating scan. 

I will have weekly appointments at the diabetic clinic, plus all the extra monitoring at the maternity unit due to the high risk nature of this pregnancy. I ‘only’ have to make it to 38 weeks. Only...seems like a lifetime away and impossible given my history. I’m so, so scared. But happy.


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## Lucy Honeychurch

Congratulations! Fingers crossed for you both xx


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## grovesy

Glad you have it all lined up, good luck.


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## Grannylorraine

Congratulations to you both.


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## Pigeon

Thanks all for your kind wishes. 

Glad you have got confirmation, @merrymunky , and that you are now "in the system". Clinic appointments go on for hours, in my experience, and I was getting frustrated by waiting 2 hours to see a consultant who took all my history every time then said "well you seem to know what you're doing", so I have agreed at the 13 week appt to send them my BG results fortnightly on Diasend and check in on the phone with the nurse and carry on until the 20 week scan appointment unless I have concerns in the meantime. I appreciate I have had this a lot longer than you and all information is useful at the start though! But if you get fed up of hanging around clinics you might be able to do the same if you are happy to do so - my clinic are quite good at reading how much help you need.

The midwife's appointment went well, I was able to hear the heartbeat which was fab, and I felt the baby move for the first time the other night! So that was nice reassurance during a bit of a naff week with the hot weather (vomited for the first time in the pregnancy and managed to burst a  blood vessel in the white of my eye in the process! Didn't really feel like I was blooming at that stage...). I quite like the midwife appointments as they're more about me and the baby whereas at the ante-natal-diabetes clinic I feel like more of a high-risk medical problem!

Anyway, congratulations again and take care, xxx


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## Lizzzie

Awesome.   X


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## merrymunky

Thanks all. 

Pigeon, I’m pleased things are going well for you. 

Things also seem to be ok here so far but it’s obviously very early days and I have a very long and anxious road ahead. 

My test lines are darkening which is a good sign that hcg levels are rising as they should. I have the same early symptoms that I did last time, that heavy and cranky feeling in my uterus with the odd twinges all around the area, boobs are sore, more so in the evenings when they are set free! I’m napping and resting again. I’m glad I’m on summer holidays in these early weeks so I can concentrate on just looking after myself. 

I have an appointment with the diabetic pregnancy consultant on Friday mornings which I am very anxious about as it means going to the maternity unit and the last time I was there it was not for good reason. I have to go alone too as my husband has to work. We haven’t told our parents yet. I spent yesterday with my mum and my mother in law and was bursting to just spill the beans!


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## Eddy Edson

Fantastic! Huge congratulations to you.


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## Northerner

merrymunky said:


> I have an appointment with the diabetic pregnancy consultant on Friday mornings which I am very anxious about as it means going to the maternity unit and the last time I was there it was not for good reason. I have to go alone too as my husband has to work. We haven’t told our parents yet. I spent yesterday with my mum and my mother in law and was bursting to just spill the beans!


We're all right behind you!  {{{HUGS}}}


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## Cleo

Congratulations merrymunky! X


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## merrymunky

Thanks all. It’s a hugely anxious time.


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## Cleo

merrymunky said:


> Thanks all. It’s a hugely anxious time.


Of course it is ! Try to relax and take one day at a time , and be kind to yourself ! X


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## merrymunky

I’ve just got home from my diabetic clinic appointment at the maternity unit. 

I was there almost two and half hours. It’s been quite overwhelming. Just walking back into the maternity unit and sitting in the waiting area with so many other pregnant women again. I was on my own as my husband had to work. The last time I sat in that waiting area I was 16 week pregnant and unaware of how badly life was about to come crashing down around me. But I did it. 

In short, I’ve had the usual checks like weight, blood pressure, carbon monoxide etc. I then saw the pregnancy diabetes consultant who I have met before over at the diabetes centre. He runs the diabetic maternity clinic every week so I will be seeing him weekly from now on. We discussed what would happen from hereonin. I decided to start on insulin immediately rather than wait abs I want to take every step possible to help myself and my baby out this time round. So after seeing him I was sent to another nurse who talked through all the blood tests I would have today. Then I met another consultant who deals with the insulin side of things. Had a tutorial on how to use the pen and got my prescription. 

Then I had to wait for blood tests. All done and home with insulin to start at bedtime tonight.


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## Northerner

Good news about the insulin, what will you get? Get yourself a good stock of jelly babies too and always keep them close at hand  Well done on getting through the appointment {{{HUGS}}}


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## Sharron1

merrymunky said:


> I’ve had two very faint positive tests today at 11 days past ovulation. Waiting to see a very definite line then I will be straight on the phone to the pregnancy consultant at the diabetic clinic.
> 
> I’m in shock. Third month properly trying since our loss last year. I didn’t think it would ever happen again.
> 
> I’m also absolutely petrified now I know just how wrong this can go.


Congratulations. Great news


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## grovesy

Glad you had a good appointment.


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## merrymunky

Northerner said:


> Good news about the insulin, what will you get? Get yourself a good stock of jelly babies too and always keep them close at hand  Well done on getting through the appointment {{{HUGS}}}



Here’s my insulin stash. Funny looking devise these pens are. I expected them to be more epi-pen style. They look like an old fashioned thermostat! 

Am I at risk of hypos then? Even on such a low dose?


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## Northerner

merrymunky said:


> Here’s my insulin stash. Funny looking devise these pens are. I expected them to be more epi-pen style. They look like an old fashioned thermostat!
> 
> Am I at risk of hypos then? Even on such a low dose?


Blimey, didn't know they still made those  I've never used them but I know others do/have. It's always worth being prepared for the potential of hypos when on insulin, even on low doses, so it's worth having hypo treatments to hand in every room (that's what I do anyway - the last thing you want to have to do if you do feel low is to have to go wandering around the house looking for something to treat it with  ) . What sort of guidance have you been given? Your levels have been pretty good without the insulin, when are you anticipating starting on it?


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## merrymunky

Northerner said:


> Blimey, didn't know they still made those  I've never used them but I know others do/have. It's always worth being prepared for the potential of hypos when on insulin, even on low doses, so it's worth having hypo treatments to hand in every room (that's what I do anyway - the last thing you want to have to do if you do feel low is to have to go wandering around the house looking for something to treat it with  ) . What sort of guidance have you been given? Your levels have been pretty good without the insulin, when are you anticipating starting on it?



Nothing other than just to take 4 units at bedtime daily. They didn’t mention the risk of blood sugars going too low. They just said that it would lower the morning levels and keep me on an even keel. 

I’m starting tonight. I told them I was willing to do whatever it takes to get a healthy baby. So il start right away. He would have left it longer. He said maybe review next week then start but I decided to just get in it immediately given my history.


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## Northerner

merrymunky said:


> Nothing other than just to take 4 units at bedtime daily. They didn’t mention the risk of blood sugars going too low. They just said that it would lower the morning levels and keep me on an even keel.
> 
> I’m starting tonight. I told them I was willing to do whatever it takes to get a healthy baby. So il start right away. He would have left it longer. He said maybe review next week then start but I decided to just get in it immediately given my history.


I see - do please be cautious though, keep something by your bedside and make sure you test regularly. I'm surprised that anyone starting on insulin wouldn't be made aware about the possibilities of lows, but obviously I don't know your situation as well as they do. Always better to be prepared in any case


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## Cleo

Merrymunky It sounds like you’re doing a great job!

I do agree with Northerner though - I’m surprised no one talked you through the possibility of lows.  Obviously I don’t know the ins and outs of your situation but in both my pregnancies my hypo awareness was affected so I didn’t pick up on the “hypo feeling” as  early as I normally would.  I was told that the hypos themselves don’t adversely affect the baby it’s more the fact that they don’t want a pregnant woman to fall over etc due to having the hypo.


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## SueEK

Glad your appointment went well, wishing you all the very best x


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## SB2015

I am glad that things are progressing well @merrymunky .

With the insulin just be prepared for possible lows.  Like @northeri just have Jelly babies or gluco tabs in every room which sit ther in case they are needed, as well as some juice just in case. ( I am away at the moment, and having a yo yo day: hypo, hyper, hypo, hyper as food and level of activity is so u predictable.  Just enjoyed a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice for another hypo)

I look forward to monitoring your progress, and well done on managing a return to the clinic in your own.  Having done that you can do anything as you are simply a superhuman.  Well done.


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## Barbie1

So glad for you merrymonkey, and good luck with the insulin.
As everyone says, make sure you keep jelly babies everywhere!


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## kieyo

Congratulations!


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## merrymunky

Well I started bleeding this morning. I think it’s game over already. Had a doctor appointment and they can’t get me in for a scan so I just have to wait it out overnight to be told at my maternity appointment tomorrow that it’s done. I was already booked to be having a viability scan tomorrow and now I know I’ll
be going in just to be told it’s over. I’m heartbroken.  Again.


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## silentsquirrel

Thinking of you both while you wait - just hugs.


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## merrymunky

The bleeding is getting heavier and starting to clot. There’s no way this is a happy ending. It’s done.


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## rebrascora

Heart broken for you. So very sorry!


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## grovesy

Oh very sorry to hear this, take care.


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## Thebearcametoo

I’m so very sorry for you. Much love.


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## Pigeon

Oh no, so sorry to hear that, horrible times. Xxx


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## Lucy Honeychurch

So sorry, sending you big (hugs) x


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## SB2015

So sorry to hear this.
Take care of each other.
Keep in touch.


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## merrymunky

Definitely miscarried. Confirmation scan this morning. I am just heart broke. After all the work I put in to get myself into a better and healthier position. I just don’t understand it at all.


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## Cleo

I’m so sorry to hear your news
Nothing I can say will make you feel better but I’m sending you lots of virtual hugs x


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## silentsquirrel

Miscarriage, especially at an early stage, is surprisingly common, but people tend not to talk about it, so others do not realise how common it is.  Probably nothing to do with your diabetes.  It's the same with the death of a child at whatever age.  Our son died at 33, and it surprised us how many people shared a similar bereavement with us that we had not previously known about.
Look after each other in your grief, and be very kind to yourselves.  Try very hard not to blame yourself for this loss, you did all you could.


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## Thebearcametoo

I am so sorry. The good news is you can GET pregnant. It’s little comfort at the moment but is a good sign for the longer term. I’ve only had one miscarriage and two children but many of my friends have had multiple miscarriages, often for no discernible reason. Take some time to grieve. Have a chat with the consultant. Carry on with looking after yourself. And then when you’re ready try again.


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## Grannylorraine

Merry, please be gentle with yourself and don't beat yourself up about this.  None of this is your fault it is just a cruel twist that nature has given you.  Be kind to yourself.


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## SB2015

Just another a (((((((((((big hug))))))))) for you both again for today.


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## everydayupsanddowns

I am so SO sorry to hear your sad news @merrymunky. Thinking of you both. Love and hugs to you. 

We miscarried at a very early stage when we were first trying and as others have said it is much more common than people think, but is rarely talked about.

Hope you can take some time to be kind to yourself.


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## merrymunky

Rhsb


everydayupsanddowns said:


> I am so SO sorry to hear your sad news @merrymunky. Thinking of you both. Love and hugs to you.
> 
> We miscarried at a very early stage when we were first trying and as others have said it is much more common than people think, but is rarely talked about.
> 
> Hope you can take some time to be kind to yourself.




Thank you. This is not my first rodeo though. Second time in less than a year. This one has been dealt with so differently though. Our first at 16 weeks was obviously a huge physical and emotional trauma. This time we’ve just been left to get on with it and it is horrible.


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## Carolg

Oh @merrymunky . I have just read your post, and can only send you and your husband {hugs}.


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## Sharron1

merrymunky said:


> Rhsb
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you. This is not my first rodeo though. Second time in less than a year. This one has been dealt with so differently though. Our first at 16 weeks was obviously a huge physical and emotional trauma. This time we’ve just been left to get on with it and it is horrible.


Just read all your posts . So sorry to read your news. Don't really know what else to say.


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