# Help...Please



## Amal (Jun 13, 2017)

Right, I'm about to pour my heart on here, because I don't know who else to talk to. I need serious help and motivation.

My weight has been an issue for pretty much my whole life. I'm quite tall and big boned and have been since my early teens. It hasn't really bothered me when i was younger, I suppose I realised that my weight and body wasn't acceptable at a young age, through people fat shaming me from a young age, or people assuming that I was the mother of my brothers at the age of 12. Again I was young and innocent so I brushed it off my shoulders then and moved on with life. However, I'm now 24 and have been struggling with my weight for the longest time. I'm now the heaviest I've ever been and being type 1 diabetic from the age of 16 hasn't really helped put the weight off. I'm constantly fat shamed by own immediate family and it breaks my heart as they don't know how serious of a problem my weight and body image is to me. They do it jokingly without really realising the repercussions as I don't usually show my emotions. I love my family but I've given up speaking to them about my diabetes and my weight as they just don't get it. If you want to get an idea of how serious of a problem this is for me, lets just say I've had anorexic and bulimic thoughts. I've thought of completely cutting away from my insulin, I've thought of fasting for 30 days without food, I've even thought of going under the knife and getting bi-pass surgery. All thoughts that are scary, if it wasn't for my love and belief in God I would for sure have fallen weak to these thoughts. There have been times where I wouldn't leave the house out of fear of what society would think of me. I literally view myself as ugly and fat and believe that no one will ever love me like this. I refuse to be loved whilst I look this way. You guys might ask, if its so much of a problem why not just diet and exercise to lose weight. Why not use this as motivation. Trust me I've tried. I don't know whats wrong with me but I'm always hungry, and when I'm not hungry and literally full, I still eat. Whilst I do feel that past personal problems in my life have contributed i.e. being unemployed straight out of uni for almost a year etc, I'm now occupied and gone back to uni to complete my teacher training. Why am I still doing this? I've had CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) in the past and I managed to change my eating habits for almost a year alongside exercise and I lost many inches and about 20kg. I've recently moved cities and have been in my current city for the past year and a half, and finally built up the courage to ask my GP for help, whether they would be able to refer me to CBT , the doctor looked at me strangely and said they don't do that, and constantly remind me that the NHS has changed and cuts have been made. I was recently discharged by my diabetic community consultant, when i expressed I wasn't happy about this and asked why, i received the famous reply of 'The NHS has changed, cuts have been made'. I now don't have anyone to go to regarding my diabetic care, but that's a whole other story. Seriously, I don't know who to turned to other than God, for help.Who do I seek help from. I don't even know if what I have has a name or whatever, but I seriously need help. Please don't judge me for pouring my heart out on here. I guess I'm just after some help and advice.
I don't want to loose the rest of my youth worrying about my weight and not living an amazing life that most in their twenties live becasue of my weight.

Just a background, I've gained 16 Kg in the past year and a half.

I'm currently 5'10
Weigh 121kg


----------



## grovesy (Jun 13, 2017)

Welcome.


----------



## Martin Canty (Jun 13, 2017)

Thank you for sharing, it must be hard to express this to a complete group of strangers, but as a community we are very caring & supportive...

I think to help it may be an idea to set a few goals, small achievable ones, nothing is more motivating than to achieve a goal. Maybe, to start tell yourself "I'll lose 1kg this week/". Accountability is important too, check back frequently with your progress; many of our members to and in return we provide encouragement & support.


----------



## Amal (Jun 13, 2017)

Martin Canty said:


> Thank you for sharing, it must be hard to express this to a complete group of strangers, but as a community we are very caring & supportive...
> 
> I think to help it may be an idea to set a few goals, small achievable ones, nothing is more motivating than to achieve a goal. Maybe, to start tell yourself "I'll lose 1kg this week/". Accountability is important too, check back frequently with your progress; many of our members to and in return we provide encouragement & support.



Thank you Martin, for your advice and support. Your raise a very good point about accountability and starting off with small goals to begin with. I will do my best to do this. I guess what throws me off sometimes when I diet is the fact that I'll suffer a bad hypo and will just go on an eating rampage due to hypo being really bad.


----------



## trophywench (Jun 14, 2017)

Layla - I know you are Type 1, and you may think that suggesting to reduce the carbohydrates in the meals is ONLY for overweight T2s - well, it isn't!  An awful lot of people both with and without D of any sort, can benefit in more things but especially for losing weight, from eating less of them.

The truth of the matter is - protein will keep any person fuller for longer than will carbs.  I'll talk English food here as I'm no expert with other ethnical normal choices but for example say you have toast or cereals for breakfast - have bacon and egg instead - with mushrooms and tomato to liven it up if you want - no or very little carbs, no or not very much at all insulin required to cover it, and feel full till lunchtime.  Whereas with the carbs, you'd probably want a snack (biscuits with a mid-morning cuppa using the same terminology) well before lunchtime.

At any time, if we have more fast-acting insulin sloshing round in our body than ONLY for the food your body actually needs to stay alive and working properly - the glucose it makes from the excess food automatically gets laid down as body fat.

Do NOT instantly cut all your carbs though - carbs are actually addictive!! - so it's the same as the process as coming off illegal drugs - and 'cold turkey' happens, and you get withdrawal symptoms eg terrible headaches or the shakes and stuff - whereas if you say 'I'll cut it down 10% this week and see how I feel next Thursday' you're much more likely to succeed.  Small targets again, you see?

Little things! - Use a bit smaller plate, dish, bowl and smaller serving spoon for eg rice, so you still have the eg 3 spoonfuls you've always eaten!  Sounds daft, but it works!

Try it and see!


----------



## Amal (Jun 14, 2017)

trophywench said:


> Layla - I know you are Type 1, and you may think that suggesting to reduce the carbohydrates in the meals is ONLY for overweight T2s - well, it isn't!  An awful lot of people both with and without D of any sort, can benefit in more things but especially for losing weight, from eating less of them.
> 
> The truth of the matter is - protein will keep any person fuller for longer than will carbs.  I'll talk English food here as I'm no expert with other ethnical normal choices but for example say you have toast or cereals for breakfast - have bacon and egg instead - with mushrooms and tomato to liven it up if you want - no or very little carbs, no or not very much at all insulin required to cover it, and feel full till lunchtime.  Whereas with the carbs, you'd probably want a snack (biscuits with a mid-morning cuppa using the same terminology) well before lunchtime.
> 
> ...


Thank You Jenny for your advice. I didn't know that protein males one fuller for longer, Will definately try reducing carbs and replacing with protein


----------



## trophywench (Jun 14, 2017)

.... and obviously - reduce the fast acting you take for meals accordingly depending on the actual carb-count.

You have been taught properly to carb-count and adjust your insulin dose properly, been on a course to learn?


----------



## Amal (Jun 15, 2017)

Hi Jenny,

Yes I have. I've done a dafne course almost 3 years ago. So I'm confident with carb count and adjusting insulin accordingly


----------

