# Another awkward conversation



## MikeTurin (Nov 2, 2016)

I don't know if happened to you. the setting is a dinner with relatives.

Conversation #1

"You look slimmer"
"Yes, I followed a weight loss diet, but actually I am a bit on the high side and in need to loose 3 kg to go back to my ideal weight" 

Conversation #2

"Yes, I have Diabetes, Type 2 diabetes for the precision"
"Do you make injections?"
"No,..."
"So yu're cured"
"Um, actually diabetes is incurable. I could control it but I have to stay alert and follow a diet"
"But you haven't it, now isn't it? So you're cured!"
"..."

Conversation #3 (at the end of the dinner)

"Here's the fruit bananas, dried figs, grapes and mandarine oranges"
"No thanks, I'm full"
"Here's the strudel, I've cut a slice for you"
"No, thanks, I'm full"
"Here are some marron glacés"
"nice from you, but I am really really full, I don't like to eat anything,thank you"
"You have eaten nothing! Are you ok?"
"..."


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## mikeyB (Nov 2, 2016)

Ah, the relatives. I reckon everybody has had conversations like that some time or another. Don't worry, it will happen again....


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## Ralph-YK (Nov 2, 2016)

Relatives, we don't get to tell them to [Edited deleted].

My mum.
"Do you want a banana?"
"Apple"
A munuite later: "Orange"
A munuite later: "Pear..."
Two days later she finishes listing everything single fruit possible.


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## Rosiecarmel (Nov 2, 2016)

Well-meaning relatives. who needs em ha ha.

I always get "how's your diabetes?" yeah it's going great thanks. /sarcasm


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## trophywench (Nov 2, 2016)

Hee hee - I've found it simpler to either say 'Just don't ask!' and move the conversation on, or, 'How long have you got, exactly?' and grin.

The only real argument I ever had about diabetes was with my own mother.  She was telling me how she'd been telling one of their friends, in response to the casual question that is often made of parents of adult children - Any sign of the other one having any kids? - that the reason I didn't was because of my diabetes.  I assured her in no uncertain terms that my diabetes never entered the equation - we decided before we walked down the aisle that we didn't really want any so had taken the necessary steps (well before the Wedding March was even a possibility - but I wasn't going to share THAT little detail to her, though I'm 99% certain my dad must have known LOL) to prevent the likelihood.

She had broached the subject with me several times prior to this and I'd always answered, 'No - we don't want any thanks!' - she never ever questioned 'Why?' - and if she had I daresay I'd have said MYOB mother, anyway!


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## yedowaxet (Nov 2, 2016)

It is very difficult explaining what you can and can’t manage without sounding like you’re being a drama queen (or just plain difficult).

I can manage some raw fruit quite well (not bananas!) and people see me eating this. They can’t understand why cooked deserts (like strudel/crumble/pie) are unsuitable.

Sometimes I can eat them without hitting double figures – for example if it’s a high quality one and I avoid the pastry. I think the problem comes with cheaper ones where the fruit is under-ripe and sweetened with sugar. Whilst the ripe fruit has probably as much sugar, it seems I can handle much more fructose than glucose (in a short period).

To try and explain to someone (even family) sounds like I’m telling them off for buying cheap puddings so for most people, I just avoid all cooked fruit. I do have one very understanding relative who tells me when they have cooked fruit and not added (much) sugar. That is my treat.

Some of the youngsters I deal with are great – they buy me things they know I need to be careful about then tell me I can have a little of it on a treat day. My will power isn’t really up to it though so I have a little with them and bin the remainder to avoid pigging it.

My low carb treat is a few pork scratchings. No one seems to understand how its possible for me to have such a thing on ‘my diet’.

What I really need is a car that refuses to stop outside certain shops, driving past some of my previously favourite pasty/pie/cake/chips/pizza shops (when there is a parking space immediately outside) is a daily battle (one day at a time…. One day at a time…..)


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## Martin Canty (Nov 2, 2016)

trophywench said:


> The only real argument I ever had about diabetes was with my own mother.


Ah, yes, Mothers..... Mine would not have got it....... It was tough enough when I was vegetarian


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## Marsbartoastie (Nov 2, 2016)

yedowaxet said:


> ...driving past some of my previously favourite pasty/pie/cake/chips/pizza shops (when there is a parking space immediately outside) is a daily battle (one day at a time…. One day at a time…..)



Amen to that!  I swear there's some kind of vacuum inside a Thornton's shop that sucks me through the door


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## Martin Canty (Nov 2, 2016)

Marsbartoastie said:


> Thornton's shop


Ha.... Haven't thought about Thornton's for a while! Never a chocolate lover but I did buy a lot from there for my Ex.... She had expensive tastes


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## Ralph-YK (Nov 2, 2016)

*looks up from my rum baba.  muffled talking ....*


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## Ralph-YK (Nov 2, 2016)

If we do have a pudding, (which of course we don't, certainly not today ) the person providing it will say "Good boy." 
Seriously.  I'm 52, balding with grey in my beard. And there are people who have said "Good boy" to me!!!


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## DeusXM (Nov 2, 2016)

This one's starting to feel a little dated now in terms of music and style but the content's as relevant as ever.


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## mikeyB (Nov 2, 2016)

Me going down to the shop in the wheelchair. Emerge from wheelchair using stick and pushing myself into a vertical position to walk round the shop.

"How are you today, Mike?" Comes a voice.

"Above ground' is my usual response now.


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## Ralph-YK (Nov 2, 2016)

mikeyB said:


> "How are you today, Mike?" Comes a voice.
> 
> "Above ground' is my usual response now.



A couple of times last year I actually said "Not dead yet!"


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## TheClockworkDodo (Nov 2, 2016)

R's Mum, watching me do incomprehensible (to her) maths to work out how much insulin I need to inject for a cake in a cafe:
"Oh, why don't you just eat it?!"

Managed not to say "because I don't want to be rushed to hospital with DKA again and maybe die this time".  Can't remember what I did say, but I think I did point out that if I don't get the maths right and inject the right amount when I eat I could actually go into a coma ...


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## Sally71 (Nov 3, 2016)

TheClockworkDodo said:


> R's Mum, watching me do incomprehensible (to her) maths to work out how much insulin I need to inject for a cake in a cafe:
> "Oh, why don't you just eat it?!"
> 
> Managed not to say "because I don't want to be rushed to hospital with DKA again and maybe die this time".  Can't remember what I did say, but I think I did point out that if I don't get the maths right and inject the right amount when I eat I could actually go into a coma ...


Lol - I think I'd be tempted to add "do you REALLY think that I'd faff about like this if I didn't absolutely have to?!"


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## MikeTurin (Nov 3, 2016)

Sally71 said:


> Lol - I think I'd be tempted to add "do you REALLY think that I'd faff about like this if I didn't absolutely have to?!"


I track calories and carbs with myFitnessPal on the smartphone, and try to weigh all what I eat.
Really useful I found when I'm in a weight loss diet.
It's not a fundamental thing because the values one enters are always a ballpark value, it's valuabl the app to backtrack if sometihing strange happened. Anyway I get always weird look when I make data entry with the app or even weirder look when I weight all. It's not absolutely necessary, but even look for facebook updates every five minute is, non to mention a pack of coffin nails in the pocket... (ok was thinking about another incident... if you waste money on fags please don't be rude with people that try an healthier lifestyle...)


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## Mark Parrott (Nov 3, 2016)

Here are a couple of things I was told recently.
Of course you can eat fruit, it's natural sugar.

My dad's diabetic & he eats what he likes & he's fine.


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## Lilian (Nov 3, 2016)

I find it awkward when going to a gathering of some kind where the hostess knows I am diabetic and takes me to one side to tell me that she has bought fresh orange juice just for me.   I also do not like it when say cakes and biscuits are being handed out and I am passed over and told they have some cream crackers for me.   If cakes and biscuits are handed round I am capable of saying no to them and do not necessarily have to have a substitute.   So now I have cream crackers and orange juice bought 'specially' for me.


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## MikeTurin (Nov 3, 2016)

Lilian said:


> So now I have cream crackers and orange juice bought 'specially' for me.


That aren't actually so good anyway for diabetes, and the biggest problem is that makes you feel different from other people and you must be grateful for their interest. Even if orange juice and slices of bread aren't so good for a diabetic ...


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## novorapidboi26 (Nov 3, 2016)

As a grown man I have never had conversations like these......family and friends know I am diabetic but probably forget because its not out in open.....there is no fuss...

a bit more difficult for those diabetic using diet to control their sugars I suppose...


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## Sally71 (Nov 3, 2016)

We have been pretty lucky with family, my mum has been T1 for 49 years so most of my family are used to it, my in-laws have been brilliant at reading all the hospital literature and then just getting on with it.  My Grandmother (God rest her soul - she passed away in January this year at the grand old age of 98) could never get it into her head that my daughter is allowed treats; I think it was ingrained in her from when my mum was newly diagnosed and on mixed insulins that puddings were definitely off the menu.  I tried to explain many times that it's different now and we can match the insulin to the food rather than the other way round, but she never understood.  One of the last times we saw her at her care home, one of the carers came round with some rather yummy looking sticky buns; my Gran immediately shouted out "She can't have them!" And I immediately replied "oh yes she can!"

I work as a dinner lady at my daughter's school, and there are now 3 children altogether at the school with pumps.  As we were leaving yesterday a conversation started up about how we should manage it if they ever become ill.  One of my colleagues, who I'm sure I've explained it all to before, said "but they will get better when they grow up won't they?" Er, No, they won't.  Then she asked "Not even just a little bit?" No, never unless a miracle happens, part of the pancreas has died and it won't ever come alive again!
We do of course hope that there might be a cure during my daughter's lifetime, but I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon 

Oh and I've posted elsewhere about some of the hassle my daughter had been getting from other kids at school; one lad, who I used to think was a bit trying when he was at my end of the school, wanted to bring some sweets in on his birthday as is tradition.  He didn't want my daughter to miss out though so actually asked the teacher what could he bring that she could eat too. (Most kids don't think about it, one or two try to stop her having a share because "you can't eat sweets".). The same lad also once said to her "I don't care that you're diabetic, you're just you."  Give the lad a gold medal, why can't everyone else see it that way too!


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## Radders (Nov 3, 2016)

One of the ladies in the office next to mine is married to a chap with type 1, but as she says, she leaves him to it. Doesn't stop her passing comment though every single time I mention anything about my diabetes, mainly along the lines that her hubbie doesn't have to worry about that. The worst was when I mentioned that I found driving a bit of a hassle because of needing to test every two hours and not being able to drive for 45 minutes after a hypo. She said her husband didn't have to do that, so I pointed out that it's the law, to which she just reverted to "well I just let him get on with it".


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## BBarb (Nov 3, 2016)

.What a nice boy.
Try going out for a family meal if you're coeliac too and can't eat gluten.  
I try to make them concentrate on what I can eat, which is most things, but without the trimmings they enjoy.  Meat and veg but no roasties, a small helping of fruit but plenty of cream (please), yes I can have a drink but not beer or sweet wine, cheese is fine and I might pop a grape as a treat - but no biscuits thank you.  I don't know why they make such a big 'thing' about it - but bless them, they mean well.


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## Bloden (Nov 3, 2016)

I think what annoyed me most when I was at a friends' for dinner recently was when I refused dessert - home-made apple pie and cream - and the hostess then started telling me that I should have some dessert since carb really wasn't an issue with apple pie apparently. (Sigh, take a deep breath) "Except for the apples" I say. "Oh yes, of course, there's carb in apples" comes the response. "And the pastry" I continue. "Oh yes, the pastry has carb" says my friend. So, how the beep can I eat it then? I think she was just annoyed cos she'd been cooking all day and I was saying "no" to good, home-cooking, but surely that's my decision, not hers...(sigh, take another deep breath).


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## MikeTurin (Nov 3, 2016)

Bloden said:


> I think what annoyed me most when I was at a friends' for dinner recently was when I refused dessert - home-made apple pie and cream - and the hostess then started telling me that I should have some dessert since carb really wasn't an issue with apple pie apparently.


When one is full and doesn't like to eat a dessert, with diabetes or not, or maybe one doesn't like a kind of dessert, I think the host shouldn't press about it. 
Diabetes or not, I always find not very polite insisting people to eat. MAybe because got traumatized at the nun's canteen at school where you had to eat all what was in the plate.

Obligatory citation

*Maitre D:* And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.
*Mr Creosote:* No.
*Maitre D:* Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.
*Mr Creosote:* No. Fuck off - I'm full... [Belches]
*Maitre D:* Oh sir... it's only _wafer_ thin.
*Mr Creosote:* Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
*Maitre D:* Oh sir, just... just _one_...
*Mr Creosote:* Oh all right. Just one.
*Maitre D:* Just the one, sir... voila... bon appetit...
[Mr Creosote somehow manages to stuff the wafer-thin mint into his mouth and then swallows. The Maitre D takes a flying leap and cowers behind some potted plants. There is an ominous splitting sound. Mr Creosote looks rather helpless and then he explodes, covering waiters, diners, and technicians in a truly horrendous mix of half digested food, entrails and parts of his body. People start vomiting.]
*Maitre D:* [returns to Mr Creosote's table] Thank you, sir, and now the check.


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## Greyhound Gal (Nov 3, 2016)

My mum keeps comparing me to one of her friends - 'oh Jenny doesn't do that' or Jenny eats chips all the time' etc. Last time she said something I said 'Good for Jenny but I am not her and we are all different' fairly pointedly.  I know she is trying to help and I am the baby of the familiy, but for heavens sake I'm 45 not 2!


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## Ralph-YK (Nov 3, 2016)

Bloden said:


> should have some dessert since carb really wasn't an issue with apple pie apparently. (Sigh, take a deep breath) "Except for the apples" I say. "Oh yes, of course, there's carb in apples" comes the response.


Arh but it's Natural sugar.


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## Amigo (Nov 3, 2016)

When I was quite ill in hospital and not eating much, a well meaning but utterly clueless relative decided to bring me a 'wholesome' sandwich in. She'd asked the shop to make it up specially based on what she thought were good for diabetics. 
So I was handed a huge, stodgy white bun, dry because she'd told them not to put butter and mayo on 'because it was too fatty for a diabetic', It seemed to be largely stuffed with grated carrot and sliced tomatoes but of course no salt. 

Suddenly hospital food seemed very appealing!


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## Ljc (Nov 3, 2016)

Amigo said:


> When I was quite ill in hospital and not eating much, a well meaning but utterly clueless relative decided to bring me a 'wholesome' sandwich in. She'd asked the shop to make it up specially based on what she thought were good for diabetics.
> So I was handed a huge, stodgy white bun, dry because she'd told them not to put butter and mayo on 'because it was too fatty for a diabetic', It seemed to be largely stuffed with grated carrot and sliced tomatoes but of course no salt.
> 
> Suddenly hospital food seemed very appealing!


A dry sarnie  laced with Tomatoes  Carrots  give me hospital food any day


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## AlisonM (Nov 3, 2016)

As the only diabetic in the family, I am a total mystery to my relatives. I'm constantly getting the immortal "you can't have that", said of some treat I could easily cover with insulin, or "here, have some fruit juice, it's good for you". And, they will insist on buying me 'diabetic' jam or chocolate and expecting me to be grateful. In 7 years they've never understood there's difference between T1/1.5 and T2, and persist in believing everything they read in the Daily Fail.


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## Northerner (Nov 3, 2016)




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## TheClockworkDodo (Nov 3, 2016)

Well, we _can_ eat poison, it just wouldn't be advisable


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## Ljc (Nov 3, 2016)

TheClockworkDodo said:


> Well, we _can_ eat poison, it just wouldn't be advisable


How many carbs in it as I'm trying to cut down


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## Rosiecarmel (Nov 3, 2016)

I also often have conversations such as "my aunties sisters daughter was diabetic and she had to have her foot amputated"


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## trophywench (Nov 3, 2016)

It is the poison cookies or the straight poison you want the carb value for?

I believe it's better for you if you buy the wholemeal kind, BTW.  Never any carbs in that apparently!  So fill yer boots and I bet you won't come back and say anything bad about it!


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## Ljc (Nov 3, 2016)

trophywench said:


> It is the poison cookies or the straight poison you want the carb value for?
> 
> I believe it's better for you if you buy the wholemeal kind, BTW.  Never any carbs in that apparently!  So fill yer boots and I bet you won't come back and say anything bad about it!


Wholemeal it is then


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## trophywench (Nov 3, 2016)

No quite sure of an 'appropriate' response here - 'Oh good' definitely wouldn't be!


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## Ljc (Nov 4, 2016)

trophywench said:


> No quite sure of an 'appropriate' response here - 'Oh good' definitely wouldn't be!


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## Sally71 (Nov 4, 2016)

@DeusXM - thank you so much for posting that video, my daughter was in absolute hysterics at it last night!  Especially the bit where he says "Believe it or not, I Eat Food.  Every Day.  On My Own.  Without Your Help!"
I think she agreed 100%, and immediately went online looking for more stuff from him!


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## Bloden (Nov 7, 2016)

Rosiecarmel said:


> I also often have conversations such as "my aunties sisters daughter was diabetic and she had to have her foot amputated"


Hahaha...one of my eight-year-old students suddenly came out with "My friend's mum DIED of juvenile diabetes". What can you say to that?!


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