# Pre-conception scariness!



## Vix (Mar 6, 2013)

Hi, 

Just wondered whether other people have felt petrified upon speaking to a DSN about planning pregnancy???

My husband and I are desperate to start a family (I am now nearly 31 and my clock ticking and feeling very broody.) I have just changed hospitals as we have moved back to Yorkshire from London so saw my new DSN who specialised in pre-conception and pregnancy the other week for the first time and she scared the life out of me!!! I came home and cried for 2 days as I was so shocked, upset and scared about what she had said - basically my control isn't good at the moment and nobody seems to be able to work out why as there is no apparent pattern... my last hba1c in Nov was 9.1 and my control has been worse since then so I image the one I had today will be even higher. My DSN basically told me it would be the worst thing in the world to get pregnant right now and I'd be an irresponsible mum if I even considered it.  But what if I can't get my hba1c below 7??? I am trying EVERYTHING asked of me, feels like I'm sacrificing so much and stressing myself out to get my hba1c down just so we can at least have the chance to try and conceive and I don't want my diabetes to stop me having a family. My new DSN has a completely different view to my previous one, who was fab, and she said although it would be advisable to get my hba1c down to 7.4 ideally if I had gone to her and said I was pregnant (my hba1c was 8.4 at the time) then it wouldn't be the end of the world and we would work with what we had... why does it seem that everywhere seems to have a different outlook and way of dealing with pregnancy advise?

I'm fully aware of the risk of diabetes and pregnancy and that I need to try and get my hba1c as low as possible, but it feels so unfair that we can't start a family when we choose! Has anyone else got any advice or experiences to share before planning pregnancy? It's killing me seeing friends have babies (and my brother about to announce his wife is pregnant) and feeling so isolated and scared 

xx
__________________


----------



## Lauras87 (Mar 6, 2013)

awww huni!

i had the talk when i was 15 with my nurse who scared me to the point of i wanted to be sterilized.

i think its down to training/the team they are on/hospital etc with how they treat you.

you'll get there! plus being an aunt will give you practice for when you have a baby


----------



## Twitchy (Mar 6, 2013)

You're right, it's not fair having to think about pre conception, or having to put up with a medicalised pregnancy, etc etc...but if you want a healthy live baby it's worth it. (that's not meant to sound as harsh as it might!!). 

Firstly, did she nentioned the huge dose folic acid? Ideally you should be on that for at least 3 months before trying, so you might as well get your GP to prescribe it now, explain what you're doing & as if your surgery would be prepared to do an HbA1c in around 3 months time - mine did that with me & having shorter bursts to aim for helped me in that it didn't feel like everything was indefinitely postponed. You might not be 'in the zone' to try by 3 months time, but you'll hopefully be encouraged that things are heading in the right direction. 

Did this new dsn actually offer any practical help? My lovely consultant has a good rule of thumb that has often helped me iron out the creases - "get rid of the lows to get rid of the highs.' ie try & reduce hypos from excess basal, or dodgy carb counting etc & you'll probably find a lot of highs are post hypo swings.   When i was ttc & pregnant I basically became a bit of a diabetic fascist - record keeping for England & all carbs policed lol. A pain to do, but the onky way to spot patterns.  Are you on a pump or mdi?

Sorry if this is teaching you to suck eggs, just trying to think of what took me years to sort out & condense it for you to save you time!


----------



## Vix (Mar 6, 2013)

Thanks Laura, it is a bit scary isn't it??? I'm troubled by it now so can't imagine what I would have thought at 15!! Unfortunately I don't get on with my brother that well so not sure how much involvement I will have as 'aunty' but maybe it will bring us closer together... 

Thanks twitchy - sorry my original post wasn't meant to sound like a stroppy teenager! I've just hit rock bottom with my diabetes control despite trying sooooo hard, I'm already like a diabetic fascist, testing every 2 hours... counting carbs to the nearest gram etc etc my log book hasn't got enough space in it   I'm on daily lantus and humalog but looking to  potentially go to split levemir when I see my DSN on Fri. I think there's just added pressure knowing there's more at stake if I can't get my hba1c down, especially when all I seem to notice is people with babies  and my friends don't seem to understand how frustrating it is and I'd just like 5 mins about talking about something other than their pregnancies/babies (but then again I suppose I will be the same if I ever get pregnant)

Good point about more regular hba1c tests though, I will ask my DSN on Fri - I have a major phobia of blood tests but this morning was the first one in 18 years I didn't have a major panic attack or end up in tears so I feel calmer knowing I can go back to that phlebotomist... I have tried reducing hypos but then I go sky high, so I think my basal isn't right and I'll have to change and split it to reduce night hypos and give me enough for during the day.

Thanks for your advice and suggestions, it all helps  

xx


----------



## trophywench (Mar 6, 2013)

Well do that then!  Do the basal test, it ain't hard just tedious LOL and get your basal sorted, then you can get your bolus sorted and voila.

http://www.diabetes-support.org.uk/info/?page_id=120

Have to say, eliminating the hypos worked for Hypersuze too when she was at exactly the stage where you are now! - doesn't matter if your A1c IS 9.1 - as long as your BG is pretty stable during the day - because once it's stable, it's only tweaking to get it down.  

Honest, it is.


----------



## rachelha (Mar 6, 2013)

Vix, I hated the preconception bit.  Trying so hard to control my levels when we were not even ttc really got me down.  My clinic gave me the go ahead to start trying with an hba1c of 7.4.  I was already having a lot of hypos and they realised that was as food as it was going to get.  I did get it lower once pregnant, knowing their is a baby inside you, and it is only for 9months is a great motivator.

Have you discussed a pump with your team at all?


----------



## Lizzzie (Mar 6, 2013)

Welcome to the world of diabetic pregnancy. DSNs do tend to lay it on a bit thick at first: they see women with the complications which can indeed be v unpleasant and therefore try to scare you into not getting preg before you're ready. 

Sadly some of us (me included) are more sensitive than others and it doesn't just have the effect of making us wait, if makes us terrified and emotional wrecks as well. I can't look at a high BG without worrying and this has led me to have some horrible hypos.

Best thing to do is try to keep level headed and just put it put of your mind and work on those sugars. But that's easy to say....

So you've note taken to the nth degree: can you see any patterns?  When do you tend to go high?  What time of day?

Do you carb count? Extreme times call for extreme measures: there are darter ideas than eating things that you can carb count Easily for the next few months.

What hospital in Yorkshire are you at? - I'm in Yorkshire....


----------



## Vix (Mar 6, 2013)

Thanks Ladies  

No, Rachelha to be honest I hate the idea of a pump so am avoiding that at the moment, but if i can't get my levels down it may have to be something I consider...

No, Lizzie - me, my hubby, DSN, dietician etc cannot see a pattern... one day I'll be high in the morning, another before bed, I'll have a hypo during the night, sometimes in the afternoon... Did experiment where ate exactly the same thing 2 days in a row, did as near the same things as possible ie working from home, 15 min walk in the afternoon (have hip problems which restrict mobility at mo) and one day it was 3.4 2 hours after breakfast and the other 16.9!! For a while it looked like there might be a mini pattern of being ok until lunch time but then one morning it was high and I had ketones... and all to pot again... Yes, I carb count and am keeping a diary at the mo for my dietician but went through bolus ratios and correction doses and she said they all seem to be ok. The only solution at the moment seems to be going to levemir from lantus and split doses as I have quite a few night hypos even if I go to bed at 16+ so seeing my DSN about it on Fri! 

I'm at Airedale hospital in Silsden. I completely understand that we have to be told about these things but to feel like an irresponsible person before we've even started trying for a family is not good  I know we have to be ready and I guess it's just frustrating that we are in every sense apart form hba1c! At the moment I am waiting to see what my DSN says on Fri as she's lovely when I actually get to see her, just a nightmare getting hold of her and hoping that with a few more weeks readings than last time she might be able to see something I can't 

Right, bedtime now before I fall asleep on my laptop... thanks to everyone for their comments, it's good to not feel quite so alone with my erratic emotions!

xx


----------



## Monkey (Mar 7, 2013)

You've had some excellent advice that I can't really add to! I know it seems really cruel to have to wait, but it'll be much more straightforward sorting things out now rather than battling in early pregnancy with nausea, sickness and a ton of hormones to deal with too! Really hope you can get the support you need.


----------



## Vix (Mar 7, 2013)

Thanks Monkey  I just need to be patient (something I'm not very good at!) and fingers crossed my hba1c isn't too much higher than the last one  

xx


----------



## Vix (Mar 8, 2013)

I am very surprised but happy to say my hba1c has come down to 7.6... still some way to go to get below 7 but as I thought it had gone up and the last one was 9.1 at least I feel like I'm going in the right direction and there is some hope now  xx


----------



## LeeLee (Mar 8, 2013)

So pleased for you Vix.  Long may the downward trend continue!


----------



## Vix (Mar 8, 2013)

Thanks LeeLee, yes indeed - let's just hope it wasn't a one off as I suspect it will involve many more hypos to get it much lower than that  xx


----------



## MeganN (Mar 8, 2013)

Hi vix

If it helps at all to know, I am in exactly the same boat. Trying desperately to get sorted for a baby. I'm terrified too but hoping that the want will over ride the fear. 

Not only have I put pressure I myself to get sorted Ive got parents from both sides trying to hurry me up. 

If I sit there and think about it too much I am not a happy bunny either  xxx


----------



## Vix (Mar 9, 2013)

hi Megan,

It's very frustrating isn't it... I hope that you are in a position to try soon  Know what you mean about parents, and to make matters worse my younger brother is about to announce that his wife is pregnant so then the parental pressure will increase  But it's not them it's us and we need to make sure that we're in the best possible scenrario!

Good luck with everything, and let me know how you're getting on! What have you been told you need to get your hba1c to?

xx


----------



## MeganN (Mar 9, 2013)

We are aiming for an hba1c of around 6. I'm trying really hard. 

I know about siblings havin babies too. My little bro and his wife have a 5 month old little girl. Luckily I'm very close to them so there is no love lost about them over taking me


----------



## Vix (Mar 9, 2013)

Wow, I would actually fall off my chair if I could realistically get my hba1c that low, don't think it's been in the 6s in the 18 years I've been diabetic! I've been told that 6.1 is the absolute ideal but my DSN thinks below 7 is my realistic target, obviously the lower the better  What's your latest hba1c?

Unfortunately I'm not very close to my brother any more so hoping that baby niece or nephew might bring us closer together rather than pull us further apart. I hate that it feels like a race, and I know it's not a competition but when you want something so badly and then you feel like you can't get away from it then it's tough isn't it? 

Hope you get your hba1c down soon Megan  
xx


----------



## MeganN (Mar 10, 2013)

What's most frustrating for me is I am only jut starting on MDI and its taking a lot if time to figure out. 

Hospital has recently told me to up my basal a bit but this appears to make my morning readings worse not better for some reason. 

My last hba1c was 7.2 I think. So if I Ryan really hard I might get a 6 point something on the next one. Think it may be wishful thinking though


----------



## bennyg70 (Mar 12, 2013)

You can do it  Excellent advice given and plenty on the forum. Plenty of us came here int he same situation including me not knowing where to turn!

1) Get the basal sorted
2) Get the meal ratio sorted
3) Injection times and spacing before meals
4) Diet - What spikes you, what dosnt.

Its hard but its worth it.

I got down from a HBA1C of 8.2 Mid last year to 6.4 in 6 months and 6.3 in 9 months. Although I would pre warn that bringing it down too fast also has its complications. However its doable, youve joined this forum and its the first step.

You need to focus what you want - A baby as the ultimate goal. The HBA1c is a milestone. See it as a challenge, You can do it.


----------



## Vix (Mar 15, 2013)

Thanks for that encouragement BennyG  I've got from 9.1 to 7.8 in 4 months so below 7 may be do-able in another 4 months... although no idea how it has come down as my day to day control doesn't seem to be that much better, just hope it wasn't a fluke and we'll see what the next one is - like you say at least there's a goal to aim for

Good luck Megan!

Xx


----------



## MeganN (Mar 15, 2013)

Thanks vix

Good luck to you too  xxx


----------



## Vix (Mar 19, 2013)

You too Megan  It doesn't feel quite so bad when I know someone else is going through a similar process! I've got an antenatal appointment on 2nd April, feeling a bit nervous about that given all the info thrown at me when I saw my DSN but my hubby will be there and I know this is all for my own good!

Xx


----------

