# Advice please! Crying wolf ...



## Semarroy (Jan 14, 2011)

Tricky one. My 9yr old was diagnosed in Oct 2010. We are over the shock and after a few months of ups and downs, have a fairly good handle on things with BS between 5-8 most days (even survived a week at center parcs!). However, my son does not particularly enjoy school and has started to say he's got a headache, or sore throat etc to get out of class. I have explained that crying wolf is dangerous as we won't know when to believe him ... but he's still doing it. Not strictly diabetes related, but wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom for me?! ...


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## Fandange (Jan 14, 2011)

Hi Rachel,

this might sound stupid, but do you know why he doesn't like school? Have you spoken with his teacher about how he feels? Are they supportive of his condition? Is his behaviour post-diagnosis?

It's tough to watch your kids go through this, I know. I went through a similar anti-school problem with my oldest daughter (a non-diabetic). My younger son was having problems, some to do with D, and I took him to see the psychologist attached to the diabetes team locally. Having someone to talk to who is independant, friendly and not your Mum can sometimes work wonders!

As parents, we don't have all the answers. It takes a village to raise a child is a favourite of mine(I need a big village, I have four of them!!) We are under scrutiny, up for criticism, vented at and manipulated by the little darlings (and others). 

If he is not unwell, maybe he is really just trying to understand where the new boundaries are. His whole life has just changed, after all. Be strong and follow your instincts. It is still early days for your whole family.

I hope I helped,

Angela


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## bev (Jan 14, 2011)

Semarroy said:


> Tricky one. My 9yr old was diagnosed in Oct 2010. We are over the shock and after a few months of ups and downs, have a fairly good handle on things with BS between 5-8 most days (even survived a week at center parcs!). However, my son does not particularly enjoy school and has started to say he's got a headache, or sore throat etc to get out of class. I have explained that crying wolf is dangerous as we won't know when to believe him ... but he's still doing it. Not strictly diabetes related, but wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom for me?! ...



Hi Rachel,

I think this could be something to do with your sons diagnosis. I think it might be a good idea to sit down with him and ask him to write down all the 'nice' things he likes about school and all the 'not so nice' things. It could be that your son is feeling 'different' from his friends and doesnt feel that he is 'one of the crowd' anymore. Sometimes children do things by instinct and it could be that if he isnt feeling comfortable at school, he will react to this by making excuses about other things in order to be at home. Talking with your son is key to all this and it could be something very minor (to us anyway) like where he tests or whether his friends look at him, anything really.Bev


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## Catwoman76 (Jan 14, 2011)

Semarroy said:


> Tricky one. My 9yr old was diagnosed in Oct 2010. We are over the shock and after a few months of ups and downs, have a fairly good handle on things with BS between 5-8 most days (even survived a week at center parcs!). However, my son does not particularly enjoy school and has started to say he's got a headache, or sore throat etc to get out of class. I have explained that crying wolf is dangerous as we won't know when to believe him ... but he's still doing it. Not strictly diabetes related, but wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom for me?! ...



Hi Semarroy Maybe you could ask him questions about school eg bullying or being 'different' from his peers, teasing, name calling.   Try to introduce the topic when you play a game with him, or doing some painting or drawing.  If that doesn't work, have a quiet word with his teacher.  Hope things improve for you both. best wishes Sheena


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## velcrohead (Jan 14, 2011)

I went through the same when I was diagnosed.
I ended up at child psychologists the lot, none of it helped, their 'cure' was to just drag me to school and be done with it.
I cant really pinpoint what it was, but the suggestions here of trying to get pen to paper etc are good, some of mine was what will people think of me?, what happens if I go low etc, but no one single problem was ever found, in my opinion, it was never dealt with properly so I cant really be of great help.
But I do also know what they are going through.


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## bev (Jan 14, 2011)

velcrohead said:


> I went through the same when I was diagnosed.
> I ended up at child psychologists the lot, none of it helped, their 'cure' was to just drag me to school and be done with it.
> I cant really pinpoint what it was, but the suggestions here of trying to get pen to paper etc are good, some of mine was what will people think of me?, what happens if I go low etc, but no one single problem was ever found, in my opinion, it was never dealt with properly so I cant really be of great help.
> But I do also know what they are going through.



Hi Velcrohead,
On the contrary, I think you have helped a lot. It is 'easy' for parents to try to 'guess' what the problems are - but you are the person who knows and you have given a great insight into what happened to you. The fact that there wasnt a problem that you can pinpoint does help - because it means that its a culmination of the diagnosis and just feeling 'different' and I would think this is a common problem for newly diagnosed children.Bev


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## margie (Jan 14, 2011)

There is also the possibility that school is not stretching enough.My brother now admits to exaggerating his asthma when he didn't want to go in. He is very bright and was simply bored. 

Maybe try explaining again why its important to tell the truth, possibly tell the story of the boy that cried wolf and discuss it. Then move on to trying to find out why he is trying to avoid school.


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## Fandange (Jan 14, 2011)

Hey Rachel,

maybe this sight will be of help..... http://www.joes-diabetes.com/about.html
He was 13 when diagnosed, and he is a boy (man) which may help explain things..... 

xx


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## Semarroy (Jan 19, 2011)

Thank you all SO much for your kind advice and comments. Every post has helped. We've turned a corner and after some chats he is now being much more positive about school. He even came home with a certificate for good behaviour and work yesterday  He has spoken to me about his diabetes, saying that he can't remember what it is like not to have it. Bless him, he was only diagnosed in Oct 2010! But he said he doesn't think it's changed his life much and likes that he gets extra snacks (he's on humalog mix). He did say that he thinks kids without diabetes are, in his words, 'gifted' as they don't need injected insulin. He finds it amazing that their pancreas works! And so do I. It's not a well known organ, but should be!


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## velcrohead (Jan 27, 2011)

Glad things are working out.
I knew I had replied to a post on this forum but couldnt remember which one, Doh.


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