# a newbie mum hello.....



## meljack (Jul 16, 2010)

to you all,  I am mum to my 15 year old who has had type 1 diabetes since he was 5!!!     I am struggling so much at the moment to get him to test.  He is going through a phase of complete denial even though he does not remember ever not having diabetes!  Hi BG levels are appalling - his nurse and doctor are extremely concered as I am.   He has been grounded, cajolled, supported and loved through everything but he still refuses to test regularly!  Help any ideas out there please.  The thing is he has never been poorly with his diabetes - his nurse is amazed at how his body seems to cope with badly controlled levels - I think he believes that nothing will happen to him!!  It is ruling his and our family's life - it is the only thing that we constantly battle with him.    I am now trying to "leave it all in his hands" and see what happens......his Doctor says he has to take responsibility and control...  We shall see.    

I am very sorry for such a long first post...

Mel.


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## Steff (Jul 16, 2010)

Hi there Mel and a warm welcome to the forum, im a type 2 so not much help for you , but theres a lovely bunch of parents on here who will be along to help soon, if you have not already spotted they is a great part of the forum called parents so mim sure you will get alot of great advice and information from there .x


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## meljack (Jul 16, 2010)

thank you Steffie, I have just spotted the Parents forum and am indeed amazed at just how many mums of teenage lads are going through a similar phase.   

I wish I had found this site earlier....

Mel


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## novorapidboi26 (Jul 16, 2010)

Hey, 

As someone who was diagnosed at the tender age of 15 I can sympathise with your son slightly.

For me, it was probably the worst time to be diagnosed as I was just starting my unsettled teenage years.

I never really got a grip of it until 5 years ago, six years after diagnosis.

I think a thourough education of the complications you can get might encourage him....

I wish you good luck..........


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## meljack (Jul 16, 2010)

novorapidboi26 said:


> Hey,
> 
> As someone who was diagnosed at the tender age of 15 I can sympathise with your son slightly.
> 
> ...





thank you.  He knows so much about diabetes and its flippin complications, but I don't think he believes any of them will happen to him.

Mel.


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## Northerner (Jul 16, 2010)

Hi Mel, welcome to the forum  I think the problem is that, at his age, he probably does feel that he is 'invincible'. Sadly, it's one of those things that your body can cope with a huge amount of abuse. I think quite a few of our members can probably identify with what he is going through, so hopefully they will be along to offer some advice about what made them start taking things seriously. 

What sort of insulin regime is he on? Does he carb-count? Having high or swinging levels will probably not be helping his moods at all, and this can make people even more rebellious - a vicious circle, I'm afraid.


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## meljack (Jul 16, 2010)

Northerner said:


> Hi Mel, welcome to the forum  I think the problem is that, at his age, he probably does feel that he is 'invincible'. Sadly, it's one of those things that your body can cope with a huge amount of abuse. I think quite a few of our members can probably identify with what he is going through, so hopefully they will be along to offer some advice about what made them start taking things seriously.
> 
> What sort of insulin regime is he on? Does he carb-count? Having high or swinging levels will probably not be helping his moods at all, and this can make people even more rebellious - a vicious circle, I'm afraid.



Hi he was on Lantus and novorapid (carb counting) each meal!!!!! but they have put him back on novomix 30 twice a day and he is supposed to control what he eats more - but he doesn't.  his Doc has said that if he controls it  more they will reinstate lantus and carb counting..  It is not working at all, he does if lucky one test per day and does not record it or monitor it - he literally second guesses - but he knows exactly what he should be doing!!  I am trying to back off a little but I know he is getting in a mess!!


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## Andy HB (Jul 16, 2010)

Hello Mel,

I just want to welcome you to the forum and hope that you and your son can get some answers

Andy


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## PhilT (Jul 16, 2010)

Hi Mel, welcome to the forum.


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## novorapidboi26 (Jul 16, 2010)

I was exactly the same, it brings back so many memories......

I dont think I ever tested, I just knew what amounts of insulin I had in the morning and a night, when I on two jags a day.

I personally believe carb counting and injecting at every meal is the way to go.......that means if he doesnt eat, he doesnt jag.

But again, I wont lie that means testing and evaluating patterns and all that....(DAFNE).

I said I would not be an advert for DAFNE but it opened my eyes....

You might just have to wait till this phase passes or till he starts to feel the short terms effects like fatigue, weight loss.

I hope this does not offend but does he have a girlfriend, I ask because a stable relationship to keep him settled also might help.

Another option is to get him on here, he is definetly old enough to get in amongst the forums..........


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## shiv (Jul 16, 2010)

Hi Mel, welcome to the forum.

I'm 22 and was diagnosed over 19 years ago, age almost 3. If your son wants someone around his age to talk to about anything d related, please let me know. He might also be interested in talking to Tom - Tom is 19 and was also diagnosed aged 5 (I think!!).


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## Emmal31 (Jul 16, 2010)

Hi Mel

Welcome to the forum. I've only been diagnosed for 2 years so I can't help or give advice about being a teenager with diabetes but I think being here will help so your able to talk to other mums in your situation. Hopefully they can give you some answers, good luck xx


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## cazscot (Jul 16, 2010)

Hi Mel, welcome to the forum


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## bex123 (Jul 16, 2010)

hi welcome to the forum  , i was diagnosed at 7 with type 1 (now 28) i rebeled badly over my teenage years and understand the problems , if you want to ask and questions or want to chat pm me


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## Freddie99 (Jul 16, 2010)

Hi Mel,

I can definitely relate to how your son is feeling. I was diagnosed when I was five but I'm just a few years older than your boy at the age of nineteen. I only really got decent control on jabs after I did my SADIE course (equivalent of DAFNE) and my control is now even better having got hold of my pump which I got a few months ago. 

As for gaining control, well, it's up to him more than anything but if he is to go to university he'll have to be able to control himself before he goes to uni. I started taking control at the age of about sixteen or seventeen. I'd highly recommend that he goes on a DAFNE or your local equivalent. Having said that, what's best is that he meets other diabetics. It helps so much, I only met other diabetics when I joined this place and did my SADIE course. It really helps. I'm more than happy to chat to him by Facebook, MSN or things like that.

Tom


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## rspence (Jul 16, 2010)

*hey*

i just wanted to say i'm sorry that as his mum you're having to go through this. all the things we want to protect our children from get rolled into one big mess with this diabetes thing and us mums carry a large amount of hope and grief as we go.

thinking of you and hoping talking about the struggles helps you through this tough time, be gentle on yourself - maybe a treat for yourself is in order, something that pampers you and your emotions at the moment, just a thought,

rachel


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## Ruth Goode (Jul 17, 2010)

Welcome to forum  I'm a mum of 3 teenagers sons so I understand how you are feeling, sometimes they listen but sometimes they go opposite ways!! It's hard to advice as it's seem you have tried all, maybe you could say "now you seem to think you're old enough to take control but I'm here when you need me" and leave it there but alway keep eyes on him. Good luck and stay strong.  
I guess I'll have all this to come when Carly get in her teens :-(


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## maria22e (Jul 20, 2010)

hi mel
im a mum to an almost 3 year old, and can sympathise with the battle ground - i sometimes have to "force" and "bribe" him to eat just SOMETHING so i can inject, i have no doubts i am going to approach this stage at some point too, we were at a carb counting course yeaterday and there was a teenage girl who had had type 1 for 10 yrs, and she refused to even acknowledge the whole carb counting idea, instead having a row with her mum and texting on her phone. To be fair if i were in their shoes i would be thinking why me and denying the whole thing, still, its no help to us when we want to protect them and if we could take it all away from them.
sorry to hear what your going through, i do hope he comes round soon
maria x


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## CarolK (Jul 21, 2010)

Hi Mel, 
Im mum to 21 year old diagnosed when 14, and I completely empathise with what you are both going through. We went through so many ups and downs, of me nagging and then "leaving him to get on with it" when I got fed up with the grief, but I couldnt stop myself from worrying and he didnt control it well atall, I think we only turned a corner about 18mths ago to be honest. Since then and a carb counting course, he seems to have come out  of the rebellious stage and is lifting weights and looking after himself. This seems to have really helped as he is so keen on the gym and its results. He has also just learned to drive, and he knows he has to have good control to keep his driving licence! Sorry have no magic answers but there is light at the end of the tunnel,


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## meljack (Jul 21, 2010)

novorapidboi26 said:


> I was exactly the same, it brings back so many memories......
> 
> I dont think I ever tested, I just knew what amounts of insulin I had in the morning and a night, when I on two jags a day.
> 
> ...



Hi,

I agree about the injecting when just eating way!! - ahem what is DAFNE???
Anyway as an update, he became poorly a bit at the weekend - sick etc and it shocked him as he has never been ill with his diabetes - I didnt' like to say "I told you" but for two days he has kept his levels between 4 + 7 which is amazing as he hasnt had such good control for years.  He had more energy  and was fun to be around.   I thought great this is the wake up call he needed.        Guess what it lasted two days and yesterday he ate loads of crap! and didn't test at bedtime and been up all night visiting the loo etc.  I am sooo disappointed and really don't know what to do - it is as if he knows what he has to do but just refuses to keep on top of it..

He does not have a girlfriend at the moment but some fantastic friends who are brilliant with him!

He will not come on the forums as he has no desire to talk about it...

Cheers

Mel.


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## meljack (Jul 21, 2010)

Thank you everybody for your comments and advice.

I think I am going to have to just leave him to it....  It is such a worry...

Cheers

Mel.


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## meljack (Jul 21, 2010)

TomH said:


> Hi Mel,
> 
> I can definitely relate to how your son is feeling. I was diagnosed when I was five but I'm just a few years older than your boy at the age of nineteen. I only really got decent control on jabs after I did my SADIE course (equivalent of DAFNE) and my control is now even better having got hold of my pump which I got a few months ago.
> 
> ...



Thank you Tom, I will show him this site and your kind offer of a chat and take it from there, although he does tend to bury his head in the sand about it..

Mel.

PS what is SADIE????? DAFNE????


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## Northerner (Jul 21, 2010)

meljack said:


> Thank you Tom, I will show him this site and your kind offer of a chat and take it from there, although he does tend to bury his head in the sand about it..
> 
> Mel.
> 
> PS what is SADIE????? DAFNE????



These are diabetes education courses - I believe all PCTs need to offer something, although the names may vary. DAFNE stands for 'Dose Adjustment For Normal Eating' and is a way of working out how much insulin you need to take with food according to a number of variables - people who have been on the course generally find it very useful.


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## Freddie99 (Jul 21, 2010)

meljack said:


> Thank you Tom, I will show him this site and your kind offer of a chat and take it from there, although he does tend to bury his head in the sand about it..
> 
> Mel.
> 
> PS what is SADIE????? DAFNE????



DAFNE = Dose Adjusting For Normal Eating
SADIE = Skills for Adjusting Diet And Insulin Eastbourne (I think that's it but it's probably something different!)

I've done the bury my head in the sand thing too but once he's through that phase it'll be easier work from then on.


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## Joan Getty (Jul 26, 2010)

Hi Mel

I can sympathise with you - my daughter is 20 and has gone through several rebellious years where she hasn't been looking after herself. If your son is interested in learning to drive he will need good control - my daughter lost her licence due to her having two seizures brought on my severe hypos. This was the wake up call she needed and her control has been much better since then. This might be something to warn him about which he may respond to? This phase will pass but I know it is very difficult to watch.


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## meljack (Aug 12, 2010)

as an update, he is now back on carb counting and 1 injection of lantus in the evening.  So far, he is doing ok and we are keeping our fingers crossed..X


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