# Kids are quick!



## Einstein (Mar 1, 2009)

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America 
MARIA: Here it is. 
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? 
CLASS: Maria. 
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables 
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' 
TEACHER: No, that's wrong 
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? 
DONALD: H I J K L M N O. 
TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. 
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. 
WINNIE: Me! 
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? 
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' 
MILLIE: I is.. 
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' 
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' 
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? 
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. 
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? 
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? 
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. 
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 
HAROLD: A teacher


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## bev (Mar 1, 2009)

Good one - but why are you up so late? Dont you need your beauty sleep! Bev


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## Einstein (Mar 1, 2009)

Hi Bev, if you saw me you'd know it was time I slept for the rest of my life!

I was just up and about tidying up, ready for the arrival of my puppy this afternoon and our hearing dog assessment tomorrow, found them and thought I'd post them as a way to [hopefully] put a smile on everyones faces this morning.

A few of the ones I have I fear might not be suitable for everyone here, so of course I need to vet them carefully, hard with your eyes still full of tears from the previous ones!


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## Northerner (Mar 1, 2009)

Terrific jokes David, thank you! Hope all goes well with the puppy! What breed is it?


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## Einstein (Mar 1, 2009)

He's a Pointer, bred by my partner, she has his brother, big sister, mother and grandmother!!!

He's a little terror too clever for his own good, removed the waste disposal unit, outlet plumbing, electrics and then detached it from the sink before parading it around the kitchen to show everyone. Grrrr!!! His sister used to be my four pawed liability, in 11 months he's outdone his sister by a good distance, my pocket is well and truly hurting!

But he's cute!


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## Ikklemo (Mar 1, 2009)

Sounds like you could hire him out as a plumber's assistant!

But I bet his cutness outweights any high spirits/misbehaving.


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## Freddie99 (Mar 1, 2009)

Ah, that reminds me of our family Spaniel. She still has a penchant for nicking any socks/plastic things and destroying them. That and a love for the food that I am eating.

Tom H


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## Einstein (Mar 1, 2009)

Ah this little devil devours plumbing, I bought my partner a new oven (romantic I know!!) it was a Neff, so not inexpensive. So far I've spent more than the cooker cost in rubber door seals because of some little puppy - I think we're onto seal number 12, I now buy them in bulk.

But when he's 1-2-1 butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. He knows there is no-one else to blame more like!

Well, that's all the fencing done, the new gate made and hung and a panel for the side of the bath made, been meaning to do it for 8 years now... my plumbers mate arriving with fetish for rubber would think he'd died and gone to heaven if he got under the jacuzzi - Gulp.


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## Einstein (Mar 2, 2009)

*Hearing dogs assessment*

Hi Northerner, 

Just thought I'd let you know Brucie was a model puppy, went beyond the call of duty, might be the hour long walk around Sheerwater that tired him out. Then they wanted to see how he was on a lead walking down the road (traffic reaction etc). So he's snoring (I guess) his head off fast asleep next to me on the sofa.

I think we both passed, we will know within the month, so fingers crossed.

Will keep you posted.

Cheers, David


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## HOBIE (Oct 21, 2013)

Einstein said:


> TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
> MARIA: Here it is.
> TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
> CLASS: Maria.
> ...



Dont know which is my fav cos tere all good !


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