# 4 weeks late



## Emma Lowery (Jan 22, 2019)

Hi,

So I am on the contraceptive patch and although wanting a baby I was planning on waiting until after I get married in June.

Despite this I am now 4 weeks late for my period. I have done 3 tests that have come back negative but still no period. I mentioned it to my diabetic nurse who told my doctor to put me on folic acid 'just in case' but the not knowing is driving me mad!

Does anyone have any suggestions? If it isn't pregnancy should I be worried that I have not had a period. i'm usually very regular.


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## trophywench (Jan 23, 2019)

Well - I can only say this Emma - were it me - yes I would be a bit concerned TBH - and would absolutely want to see a GP who was sympathetic to 'feminine ills'.  Even in this day and age - not all of them are.


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## PhoebeC (Jan 23, 2019)

When did you do the tests?

It is possible to get a negative even if pregnant, but it doesn't work the other way. Use your first morning wee if you do another. 

We found out at 2-3 weeks, one test a Boots one had the faintest little cross for positive, we took two more, both said negative, but that first was enough to make us buy more. We must have used about 7 tests in a week, 4 on that first day, but as we waited longer they started to show stronger. 

Also there is a blood test they can do to rule it out. At 6 weeks I had horrible cramps and my Nurse said to go to A&E, with the wee test A&E told me I wasn't pregnant and started to investigate other issues/organs causing the pain, then the bloods came back and it said I was definitely pregnant  My husband was furious.

If it isn't pregnant then yes I think you should be concerned. I am not regular at all, that's a whole other story. But if you are, 4 weeks is a long time. Have you had any period like signs, or do you know the other elements of your cycle? like I get cramps a week before I come on


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## trophywench (Jan 23, 2019)

@PhoebeC - I used to get good old period pain mid month when I was mid 40s and my big sis told me some ladies do when they're ovulating so just bore it and stopped worrying - and when I had my hysterectomy my gynae told me the op took her a lot longer than planned because I was full of endometriosis.

Ooops - I hadn't mentioned it …….


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## PhoebeC (Jan 23, 2019)

I never had period pain before I had Jemima, only tiny, hardly noticeable cramps. So when they said early labour would be like period pains, I was cluesses. Then when it started it really hurt a lot, I couldn't understand how people went through that each month. Now I get some cramps and all that but nothing like that early labour  

My best friend gets it at the start of her cycle too, at ovulation. 

I have started to track mine with an app, because I am fed up with how random they are and I need some evidence of it, send my blood levels crazy. So far it cannot work out the pattern, as I couldnt on a paper calendar, I don't think there is one, but nobody medical believes me.


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## trophywench (Jan 24, 2019)

Oh tell me about it Phoebe!  I never had regular periods ever - just roughly once a month but never predictable so loved it on the pill.  Then decided to have me tubes tied - and wham - every 28 days like clockwork thereafter!


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## PhoebeC (Jan 24, 2019)

trophywench said:


> Oh tell me about it Phoebe!  I never had regular periods ever - just roughly once a month but never predictable so loved it on the pill.  Then decided to have me tubes tied - and wham - every 28 days like clockwork thereafter!


I cannot wait to get mine done. NHS said I was too young, they won't do it. When did you get yours done? My implant is in until Feb 2020. I will just have to pay for it I think


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## silentsquirrel (Jan 24, 2019)

I was 40.


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## trophywench (Jan 24, 2019)

I was 40 ish too - grief, that was nearly 30 years ago!  How old are you Phoebe?


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## PhoebeC (Jan 25, 2019)

trophywench said:


> I was 40 ish too - grief, that was nearly 30 years ago!  How old are you Phoebe?


30 this year. Before I had this implant in, 2 years ago the consultant practically laughed at me wanting one. I am positive I will never want another child, for a number of reasons, ever. I know that completely.
I had a dreadful time from the outset and we are both so lucky to be here. As I told the doctor, the biggest thing stopping me is my body, my diabetes and the impact it is already has had on me, if diabetes is cured and the damage can be fixed then I could understand them not wanting to do it. She said my 'situation' might change, there's no other change apart from that which would change my mind. Yes I am young I get it, but she's now 8 and we've been married nearly 10 years. I am gutted that it cannot happen again, but from our point of view it is not worth it. 

Sorry @Emma Lowery for hijacking the post. Hope your okay?


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## Emma Lowery (Jan 25, 2019)

Sorry everyone just remembered to sign in! So I spoke over the phone to a doctor yesterday,she was so rude!!

I explained what has been happening and advised she should have a letter about prescribing folic acid. She replied with were you planning on having a baby?
I said that no I wasn't planning and I am on contraception. She said well if you are pregnant will you be keeping it or do you want a termination?!

I said well i'd like to know if I'm pregnant before you start those questions!!

Anyway after questioning why I would need folic acid she agreed to prescribe it and sent it off to my chemist for collection. I then asked what should I do next? I explained that as I'm diabetic, if i am pregnant, I really need to know ASAP so I can advise the diabetic nurse at the hospital etc etc. She told me to just keep taking more pregnancy tests.. to that I asked for how long?

She said 'Well it depends if you want to keep the baby maybe every couple of weeks, if you want an abortion you need to test weekly so that you have time to make that decision'.

Anyway I was totally unhappy with her advise so asked the Chemist when I went to pick up the folic acid. They sympathised and recommended that I take one more test next week (last one I took was on Monday), if still no result they said to call doctors and insist on a blood test. 

I've got an appointment with my consultant on Tuesday so going to mention it all then as well see if he has any helpful ideas!


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## Northerner (Jan 25, 2019)

What an unpleasant doctor! Sorry to hear you were dealt with so unsympathetically, but good for the pharmacist for listening  I hope you can get some answers soon {{{HUGS}}}


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## trophywench (Jan 25, 2019)

Hey Emma - what a sad state of affairs that a GP has become so worn down in her day to day job that she instantly connects the words 'I think I might be pregnant' with 'Yet another girl who wants an abortion'.

Letter of complaint?

Definitely tell your consultant anyway- good grief!  Surely ALL the medical profession are supposed to encourage us to be pro-active regarding our health.  Plus if you have any DSNs at your D clinic, grab hold of one of them and bend their ear - at mine I'd grab them first and if I didn't even have a clinic appointment in the offing I'd ring the clinic and say I need urgent advice, so could someone PLEASE speak to me today because I'm desperately worried and don't know what else to do.


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## Emma Lowery (Jan 25, 2019)

I did speak with the diabetic nurse as I had an appointment with them a couple of weeks ago - they wrote to my GP to tell them to prescribe me the folic acid but didn't do anything else. It's all the anticipation that's killing me I just want to know either way!


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## Lizzzie (Jan 27, 2019)

You sound to be having such a tough time and the uncertainty would be driving me crazy, too.  As for your Drs communication skills - jeez! - they didn't manage to empathise very well.

However, trying to imagine this case from the Drs point of view I guess....

You are
A) on the contraceptive patch, which is very reliable and
B) have multiple negative pregnancy tests.

...and while there is a chance that the tests are all wrong AND the patch has failed, I can see why they are presuming that something different might be causing your missed period this time....?

What else causes a missing periods in a woman who is regular?  

Is your body stressed?  Might it's busy fighting or doing something else and has prosponed reproduction at this moment?

.......either way, it sounds rubbish and frustrating to have to speculate with no answers.  Hugs.


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## Drummer (Jan 28, 2019)

Speaking as someone with many relatives, and four grandchildren - I can only advise that if it is fated, then there is little you can do - my daughter in law fell pregnant and her due date was in the middle of her final exams, the wedding had to be reorganised so as to avoid the need for an ambulance in attendance, and the girl she longed for was found to have a fatal genetic error - after three healthy boys and a subsequent just as healthy girl.
My other child will never have offspring - just not meant to be.
Do try to be calm and wait - but take the folic acid - if it is not needed this time then it will be preparation for the next.


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## Bloden (Dec 7, 2019)

Good grief @Emma Lowery.  I hope you get the result you want asap and without any more GP abuse!


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