# Actively trying following late loss and new T2 diagnosis.



## merrymunky (Feb 2, 2019)

Hi all,

I thought I should set up a thread in this section. 

To be brief (more detail in my introduction section post if hi want to read it):

I’m 38 years old and after ten years trying managed to conceive naturally last August despite weight related fertility issues. All was going well until a devastating 16 week routine appointment where we discovered our boy had died in the womb a day or so prior. He was delivered through induced natural labour two days later on 21.11.18. My world has been shattered...literally. 

Two weeks ago came the kick in the teeth that is the Type 2 diagnosis. I’m on metformin and have started the diabetic education classes. The support already has been amazing. They know I want to try again as soon as I can because of my circumstances and the fact it may be nigh on impossible to actually conceive again. I have an appointment to see the pre-pregnancy team at the diabetic centre of my local hospital later in the month. They have suggested that I need to get the GP to prescribe 5mg of folic acid. At the moment I am having to make do with just taking the standard over the counter stuff but am doubling up on the side to at least get some extra in me daily. 

The consultant I made the appointment with for the pre-pregnancy support wants to get me onto blood testing rather than just urine strip testing which sounds a bit daunting but I know it will provide much more accurate immediate readings. 

I’m back at slimming world trying to lose as much weight as I can (currently 19 stone...I know...massive) to give myself the best chances of cycles occurring more regularly and getting my levels down too. (I know all about the low carb high fat diet people keep mentioning but trying to just reduce carbs etc on SW for now as I am a fussy vegetarian!)

I know is is risky to even try TTC while so newly diagnosed but I ovulated for the first time last week since the delivery of my baby boy angel. My husband and I have given it a shot for this cycle and will just have to leave it in the hands of fate. I doubt we will catch someasily after it took ten years for the first pregnancy. 

Just wanted to say hello and hope for some support, advice and banter along this new journey.


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## PhoebeC (Feb 4, 2019)

Hello and welcome.

Sounds like you have had a horrible time.

I believe it's easier to get caught if you've been pregnant recently. And you know it can happen now even if it's taken a while. 

Diabetes can be a factor for things going wrong, have they mentioned that to you? If you've just been diagnosed it might have been there for a while.

We are here for all of the above 'support, advice and banter' and even if you just need to get something off your chest. 

What exercise are you doing? as that will help with the wight loss, I know SW dont like it. They told my mum not to do any unless she was doing loads, which is nonsense.

Take care.


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## merrymunky (Feb 4, 2019)

It has been a terrible and traumatic time. Utterly life changing. I haven’t been able to return to my teaching job since it happened in late November. Real life is honestly very hard to cope with so this diagnosis has been the final kick in the teeth.

I am fully aware of possible complications of pregnancy with this condition and am blaming myself for the loss of my baby, even though I was unaware I already had diabetes. I am seeing the pre-pregnancy consultant in a couple of weeks and will take on board everything they say. In the meantime I am tracking ovulation (I just ovulated a week ago for the first time since our loss) so despite the risks we are actively trying and if we fall then we will get the care and monitoring that we need. I’m under no illusion that we will have another pregnancy, let alone a successful one given my age, my weight and now this on top of highly irregular cycles. I can’t not try though. I’m 38. There isn’t much time left.

I’m baffled that your mum was told that! It’s a big part of SW for those that want to do it. It’s ‘not essential’ but it certainly helps. In 2017 I was using the gym (hardcore cardio and weights) 2-3 times a week and earning my body magic awards.

To be honest other than walking I am not doing much in the way of exercise. I have considered rejoining the gym but trying to fit it in around a busy teaching life is going to be hard. We just moved house and my old gym was five minutes away so I never had an excuse to not go. For now I am continuing to follow slimming world to shift some of my excess weight (trying to re  carbs where I can which is hard on a fussy vegetarian diet) and am slowly building up walking activity.


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## PhoebeC (Feb 5, 2019)

Well you shouldn't blame yourself. It's out of your control. It's the most horrible thing but it just does happen. 

Weight is one thing that can be in your control, so if I was you I'd totally go for it, don't let that be the thing that stops you. You can't change your age, but you can try to get it done sooner rather than later. My grandma had her last child (5th) in her late 40s as it was her second marriage, my aunty is fit as a bean. Age isn't always the issue they go on about its just more of a risk. However if you get yourself as fit as you can be then that lowers all the risks.  
Also having had a horrible pregnancy myself, I would strongly recommend being as fit and healthy as you can before you sta. Its not an easy process. If you can get your exercise in too, and get yourself as strong as possible it can only help, and will help with afterwards. 

It's not the first time I have heard of SW advising not to exercise, or that you either do loads or don't bother. 

Take care.


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## merrymunky (Feb 5, 2019)

They must be terrible consultants then because there is a whole book in the SW pack dedicated to ‘body magic’ and most consultants really recommend it to boost losses or at least feel better. 

Believe me I’m going at the weight loss hard. 4lb loss this last week. Thing is, my last pregnancy was fine until we found out he has passed away. There were no warning signs. I had a very normal pregnancy in that sense. I know it would have been harder down the line but I know my body can cope with it.


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## Pigeon (Feb 10, 2019)

Hi @merrymunky , bit late coming to this but just wanted to add a bit of support. You have had a horrible time, but sound like you are doing a lot of positive steps now towards another pregnancy. I also had a miscarriage last year (1st pregnancy), at 8 weeks, which was devastating, I can't imagine how hard it must be to be 8 weeks further than I was and lose a baby. I've had T1 for 12 years and I had a good A1c and folic acid before conceiving, was really careful with what I ate and tried to avoid spikes but inevitably I beat myself up about it when I miscarried - even though it was probably nothing to do with the diabetes as something like 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. We'd not even got round to telling anyone (apart from my boss) about the pregnancy, then it seemed weird to tell people about the ending of a pregnancy they never knew about, so very few people know - not even our parents. I can imagine it must be so much harder if everyone knew your good news then it all went horribly sad. 

Like you, I'm 38 and worrying we've left it all too late. I'm finding trying again really hard... if you don't try you won't get what you want, but if you do try you can be hurt again. 6 months on I feel stronger now and in a better place (the due date was Jan and that was hard, as was Christmas because I thought I'd finish work at Christmas) and I have confided in a few friends who have unfortunately been in the same boat and that helped. Back in Oct/Nov I was really late a few times and got as  far as doing a test and I was really wobbly and emotional and not sure what to hope for, so probably just as well it was negative -think my cycles have just been all over the place. Seem to be more regular now and so hopefully I'm back to normal.

Must be tough planning to return to work with a new diagnosis as well. I think just talk to work about your diabetes and make sure they make reasonable adjustments for you to test, treat hypos, take meds etc - they have to do it by law.

So no pearls of wisdom really, but I hope your return to work goes well and hopefully we will both be posting positive stories in this section soon!

Take care.


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## merrymunky (Feb 10, 2019)

Pigeon said:


> Hi @merrymunky , bit late coming to this but just wanted to add a bit of support. You have had a horrible time, but sound like you are doing a lot of positive steps now towards another pregnancy. I also had a miscarriage last year (1st pregnancy), at 8 weeks, which was devastating, I can't imagine how hard it must be to be 8 weeks further than I was and lose a baby. I've had T1 for 12 years and I had a good A1c and folic acid before conceiving, was really careful with what I ate and tried to avoid spikes but inevitably I beat myself up about it when I miscarried - even though it was probably nothing to do with the diabetes as something like 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. We'd not even got round to telling anyone (apart from my boss) about the pregnancy, then it seemed weird to tell people about the ending of a pregnancy they never knew about, so very few people know - not even our parents. I can imagine it must be so much harder if everyone knew your good news then it all went horribly sad.
> 
> Like you, I'm 38 and worrying we've left it all too late. I'm finding trying again really hard... if you don't try you won't get what you want, but if you do try you can be hurt again. 6 months on I feel stronger now and in a better place (the due date was Jan and that was hard, as was Christmas because I thought I'd finish work at Christmas) and I have confided in a few friends who have unfortunately been in the same boat and that helped. Back in Oct/Nov I was really late a few times and got as  far as doing a test and I was really wobbly and emotional and not sure what to hope for, so probably just as well it was negative -think my cycles have just been all over the place. Seem to be more regular now and so hopefully I'm back to normal.
> 
> ...


 Thank you so much for the reply. I’m so sorry you also suffered a loss. At any stage it is just devastating. We were so happy to share our news so to have to tell EVERYONE that we had lost was just the most heartbreaking thing ever. I’m not over it now. I don’t think I ever will be. 

My first period since the loss came yesterday and devastated me all over again as we really went for it this month. It may be months before I even get another ovulation as I am not regular at all. I am trying my best with slimming world and cutting out some of the carb loaded foods. I just want my take home baby. 

Maybe we can support each other through these scary and uncertain times. Xxx


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