# Have I lost my little girl?



## Jacqkie (Nov 30, 2009)

My Daughter is nearly 7 and has had Type 1 for 14 weeks. Has anybody else found that it has changed their child? Annabelle has become a very angry child. She throws things, calls me names, won't do as she is told and really hates having her insulin. Is this how it is going to be or do things ger better?
I love her so much but I miss by little girl.


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## Northerner (Nov 30, 2009)

Oh Jacqkie, so sorry to hear this. Other parents will be able to advise you better, but I don't think this s uncommon in the earlier stages after diagnosis. Her blood sugar levels will probably have been fluctuating a lot and this can drastically affect moods, especially when it is all new. Plus there is the new and not very pleasant routine of testing and injecting.

From what I have heard elsewhere, it will get better and you WILL get your little girl back - hope it happens soon.


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## velcrohead (Nov 30, 2009)

I was diagnosed at 13 and was nearly exactly the same.
It was devastating for me, I was too old for it but a very good paediatric diabetes team (if you have access to one) is what is needed.
They will be able to explain things in a child understandable way.
I was basicly still a child and being told I have a disease etc, It is not very nice being told things like that, Positives need to be got from it but I am not a professional in these matters.
It does get better though, trust me, but it took a long time.


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## jimmysmum (Nov 30, 2009)

Sorry i dont have any advise but just wanted to say how horrible it must be to see your daughter so angry about her diabetes, i suppose we will have this all to come as our son was only diagnosed 3 weeks ago and hes so laid back about everything and at the moment just taking it in his stride..so i will watch this thread with interest.

I hope she comes back soon.

Paula x


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## shiv (Nov 30, 2009)

so sorry to hear she's feeling like this. i think everyone above has said everything i could think of - this has got to be a tough time for her, she's got to accept this new way of life.

i know a couple of people on here were diagnosed around the same age - it might be worth getting her to have a chat to them? i know Sam was diagnosed aged 8.


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## Adrienne (Nov 30, 2009)

Jacqkie said:


> My Daughter is nearly 7 and has had Type 1 for 14 weeks. Has anybody else found that it has changed their child? Annabelle has become a very angry child. She throws things, calls me names, won't do as she is told and really hates having her insulin. Is this how it is going to be or do things ger better?
> I love her so much but I miss by little girl.



Hi Jacqkie

I'm so sorry this is happening I really feel for you and your daughter.    This could be a number of things though.    The injections for a start hurt for young child.   They don't want needles, and why the hell would they.   You can deal with this one.   We used to have a goody bag.   I would by hair bits, kiddies jewellery, you know the cheap stuff in Sainsburys or Asda or Claires, after a day of injections or each injection if its that bad, however you want to work it, she gets a dip in the goody bag, lucky dip style so she doesn't know what is in there.   You could put ?1 coins in as well maybe, anything.

She be very upset she has diabetes, at 7 she probably understands more then people give her credit for (not you of course but people at school etc).   It will settle down, you may have banned sweets for a bit of whatever you are doing so again bribery is a great thing  (you will be so surprised at how many parents I know who use bribery for this type 1 children, it doesn't last long as they move on to the next thing).    

Most importantly though is how are her blood sugars?    If she is high she will be a different person, she could well be angry and moody and not know why herself.   The same for hypos.    Hypos are  abit easier to deal with as you can treat them but hypers are a whole other kettle of fish.    

What injection regime is she on?    I have all my fingers crossed that she is on MDI (BB) which is multiple dily injections (also known as basal/bolus).  This would be either one injection of Lantus Glargine or Levemir and then three injections at meal times normally of Novorapid.

If they have put your daughter on two mixed injections then we need to talk again 

You are also no doubt in some kind of mourning.   Horrid thing to say but ask all the parents here, they have all and are going through that.   You are mourning your healthy child who used to be bubbly, happy etc etc.   Your daughter is so newly diagnosed you are still coming to terms with this as is she.    Don't beat yourself up that you are unsure of stuff, its perfectly normal for everyone in your situation.   

Ask anything, no question is ever a silly questions.

Take care


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## grahams mum (Nov 30, 2009)

graham was very irritable when he was diagnosed now only when he is high maybe she is not settle  and she  does not understand what happened when grahams friends can have sweet stuff he gets really angry and he sais "i wish i wasnot diabetic my friends are not diabetic!! dont worry too much i am sure she will go back how she was before the diagnoses  all the best daniela


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## SilentAssassin1642 (Nov 30, 2009)

heya hun. I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter. Like Shiv said, I was diagnosed at age 8 and can really empathise with what she's going through. Being a child with diabetes is very very difficult, there's so much to take in that the child may not exactly understand. Injections and blood testing aren't exactly the nicest things to do either and its likely that she is placing them with the thought of this horrible disease and how bad it is rather than something that will help her in the long run. Like Northe said, fluctuating blood sugars can seriously affect mood swings so that may be half the reason why she is being this way. I know that just after diagnosis I was exactly the same with my mum. My moods and attitude towards her were horrific.

But I promise you, she doesn't mean any of it. She will come out of it, but you just have to be there for her and let her fight it out. Diabetes is difficult, all you can do is be the best mum ever, offer plenty of hugs and advice. I promise you you'll get your daughter back, she's certainly not lost.

If you need any more advice with anything, please feel free to PM me  *hug*


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## shiv (Nov 30, 2009)

i would imagine it's all very confusing for her as well. i mean, if you read some of the posts on the forum, even those of us who have had type 1 for many years still get things wrong/don't understand certain things; so for her it must be very confusing.


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## allisonb (Dec 1, 2009)

OMG this made me cry.  I can't offer any more advice than others have already given you as I don't have a child with diabetes (I'm type 1) but I do have children and can only imagine how distressing it is for you and for her having to deal with everything.  It's a big thing for an adult, never mind a 7 year old, there must be lots of changes that she has to cope with so no wonder she's reacting to them.  I hope things get better for you both soon, and I'm sure your little girl will be back, it just may take a while for her to adjust. x


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## Shelb1uk (Dec 1, 2009)

Hi there, this made me sad too 

However there is a lot of support out there, for parents and for children. Once she is a little more settled (it's early days) I suggested getting in touch with Diabetes UK as they do support weekends that are fun for the kids and helps them to know they are not the only ones...also there may be a group in ure local area.

All ideas for in time...hope its useful...sending u lots of hugs xxx


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## Patricia (Dec 1, 2009)

Hello there

Sorry to hear this is so difficult...but as others have said, not surprised. It's a bit grim, really...

I remember clearly that for a couple of months, maybe longer, after  my son's diagnosis he was moody at odd times. He's never been particularly angry about having type 1, but he was certainly very moody and out of control... Much of this seemed to be down to hugely swinging levels...I remember crying when he finally had two or three days when his levels weren't all over the place, and suddenly we glimpsed him again...For us, it was that dramatic.

His levels are hugely better now, partly down to us having a better idea what we are doing, and partly down to him being on the pump... He also has got better at dealing with the swings, understanding what they are about rather than just reacting to them.

These things will get better, they really will. Meanwhile, please do always come on this forum for help and support, and know that we have some idea what this is like for you and your family.

All best wishes.


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## Jacqkie (Dec 1, 2009)

*Annabelle regime*

Annabelle has two injections. The first one before breakfast is 1.5 novorapid and 11 insulatard. The second one is before her tea and is 2.5 novorapid and 4.5 insulatard. Annabelle has been on two injections since day one and has been on the above quantities for 7 weeks now. We are visiting the clinic next week. I would appreciate your thoughts. x


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## am64 (Dec 1, 2009)

I cant give any advice sorry.... but im sending you a big Mum HUG XX


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## Patricia (Dec 1, 2009)

Hi Jacqkie

What are Annabelle's blood glucose levels like? Is she in range of 4-8 mmols much?

Generally two injections a day can be difficult but not impossible to manage, from what I gather. She *is* young, and there are issues with schools etc...So again from what I gather diabetes teams are sometimes hesitant to start children on the kind of daily injection system which has several injections -- long-acting insulin separated out from quick acting, called MDI.

However, and I think Adrienne and other parents will agree -- two injections a day is usually very difficult number-wise. This could go some way to explaining why it's taking a while for her to settle down.

I confess too that I'm a little horrified that she's been on the same doses for so long...at the beginning of my son's treatment, we spoke to  nurse every day and made adjustments very often...What's your support like generally?

Don't get me wrong -- the doses may be okay for her overall -- but my guess is that at this stage her needs are changing fast while her body tries to deal with all this, and you and your family do too...

Hang in there!

A site you may want to visit is childrenwithdiabetes.co.uk . They have a very active email group, and there you will find it populated by parents who ALL have children with type 1 and various regimes and concerns.  I find that the two -- this site, and that email group -- work so well together!


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## grahams mum (Dec 1, 2009)

hi i suggest like Adrienne already mentioned to go on multyple injection graham was on 2 injection about 6 months but i did not know any different until i met another mum MDI are a lot better


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## Kei (Dec 2, 2009)

Hello!  My daughter is 6 and a half and was diagnosed 4 months ago, so she's in a similar situation to yours.  She's injecting Mixtard 30 twice a day (currently 11 units in the morning and 5 at night, but it has changed a few times in the last few months).  We have times when she is VERY angry and upset about her diabetes, the injections, having to eat when she doesn't want to and wait till sensible times for her treats, but she is now adjusting well, and I am starting to see more of the "old F" and less of the "angry diabetic F".  

When she was diagnosed, I asked a friend whose daughter was diagnosed with type 1 at age 4 whether his little girl would write to F and tell her about how she copes with it.  It helped her a lot.  If you think your daughter would like it, I'm sure F would be happy to email her.  She loves having new friends to write to.

I'm afraid there will be times when your daughter finds the diabetes hard to cope with, and the rebellions will start again, but I'm sure you haven't totally "lost" the original girl.  She's simply hiding behind the frightened, worried, confused little girl that you're currently seeing.  Just keep loving her, making sure she knows that you still love her, that she will still be able to do her usual things and that you can live a pretty much normal life with diabetes, and you will probably find that she starts to calm down a little in a few weeks time.

How are her numbers lately?  F gets VERY agressive when her blood sugars are high.  I can now tell if she's high just by the way she behaves.  

Don't hesitate to get in touch if you would like to.  It sounds as if our daughters are similar.


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## Kei (Dec 2, 2009)

Oh, and I'm with Adrienne on the bribery!  F has a star chart for her injections.  If she does her injection within 5 minutes (we were up to 1 and a half hours at one point!!) she gets a star on the chart.  If she gets a full week of stars, she can pick from a lucky dip bag.  She has managed 3 weeks of perfect injections since we started doing this, and has earned a string of beads, a bracelet and a set of 3 pens.  (Poundland and Wilkinsons have some great cheap bribes!!!)


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## Gemma444 (Dec 2, 2009)

Hi 

Welcome. 
my son is 8 and he was diagnosed in August this year. My son has also been the same as you daughter. He says he hates diabetes. Trys to get out of injections at times and walks out the room or causes a fuss but it is slowly getting better. Im sure your daughter will be ok. Its really hard for them to have to have injections and having sore fingers and us mums fretting over things. How are you daughter B/S. My sons havent been good on the 2 injections/ mixes. How is your daughters school getting on? 

Feel free to pm for a chat anytime.

Gem x


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## Twitchy (Dec 2, 2009)

Hello there...

I'm so sorry to hear what a horrible time you're having - I really feel for you both!  For what it's worth, I vaguely remember a chart from a "change management" course I did yonks ago - it stated that fairly early on after a change (of any kind) is imposed, people go through a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions, along the lines of shock, denial, anger, questioning, and finally some degree of acceptance (I think in approximately that order!) but anger was definitely in there - so your little girl's reaction is perfectly normal.  I totally agree with the comments re BS too - my hubby knows when my BS is high because I get really cranky!

I was diagnosed early, at 11 months, but from time to time I still had periods of frustration with my diabetes (still do, if I'm honest!).  But the good news is that it has not stopped me living a full life - I've had all sorts of adventures, got a degree, I'm married, I have a little boy and another baby on the way.  Diabetes will be there, it will be a total pain in the butt at times, but in time things will calm down - your daughter will re-emerge & you will surprise yourself at how well you cope.  This forum is wonderful for support & knowledge - use it to help you as sometimes the docs don't have as much time as we'd all like to support us!  Here at least you will find lots of friends in the same boat, who are only too pleased to help.

Wishing you both (all your family!) the very best,

Twitchy x


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## PhilT (Dec 8, 2009)

I think it's tough enough on anyone being diagnosed with diabetes but when you are a child it can be more confusing and traumatic than if you are an adult. 

For one thing it is harder for a child to understand the complexity of diabetes and how it effects things and impacts on their normal routine. Obviously children also don't want to be seen by other children as being different so may well resent diabetes and get angry as a result and take out their anger on anyone who happens to be around(which is more than likely to be family members).

Also as we all know, mood swings are part and parcel of diabetes and I'm sure we all get days when we snap at people for no apparent reason and say things we don't mean. Or we get frustated because of highs or lows in our BSL's despite our best efforts to keep them under control.

I hope your daughter gradually comes to terms with being diabetic and realises that everything she has to do is for her own wellbeing however nasty and frustrating it may seem at the time.

I agree that it would be of great benefit to talk to other children with diabetes if possible as they can relate to what she is going through.

All the best to you and your daughter and I hope things get better sooner than later.


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## Jacqkie (Dec 8, 2009)

*Thankyou all very much*

Thankyou to all of you for your advice and comments. It is so nice to know that we are not the only parent and child who is suffering through the process of accepting, dealing with and living with diabetes. It has made me a little bit happier but I STILL HATE IT. X


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## delta (Dec 17, 2009)

i know its hard but things will get easier i think i was in shock when my son was first diagnosed but the tinternet is a wonderful thing for information 
and especially places like this site were you can come for a moan or a bit of info
 one thing i would say is try to get on basal/bolus four a day as soon as possible i moaned to the dsn for ages about changing from two injections
noticed a change straight away good luck to you


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## gewatts (Feb 11, 2010)

Jacqkie - I feel just like you do. Katie is 6 and has been diagnosed for nearly 4 years. She has a terrible temper and life is a constant battle. She is used to the blood testing and injections now but just seems to be angry all the time. It is esp hard as my 10 year old is pretty well behaved. She too is on 2 injections a day but we are moving to 3 injections next week. I really hope her readings improve as they have always been up and down.  I really do feel for you.


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## Adrienne (Feb 11, 2010)

Hi delta is right about moving onto more injections.   

2 a day just won't do it.   I know how hard it is to have to do more injections and I know if you give your child the choice they will say no but my advice and this comes from personal experience and the wealth of knowledge I have from hundreds of other families, do not give your child this particular choice.  Say there is no choice and this is what you have to do.

As soon as they change from 2 injections to 4 and you get better control, which you will do amalgamated with carb counting you will get your little child back.   Everyone sees this.   

I do understand how hard it is, I've been there.   However you are saving their future lives by giving these more injections and whilst you are just thinking about another few injections think of the future.   The sooner you can have been control then the less complications there will be for the future, and these are serious complications.   I have heard of a 15 year old boy with a leg problem (Bev can tell you about this), a 19 year old who is now blind, the list could go on but it is too depressing.    By moving off an old regime of 2 injections to 4 and the younger and sooner you do it, the better health your child will have in the future.

I know this is harsh, I'm so sorry, but it is reality.    All doctors who use 2 injections a day these days, need to be shot at dawn.  They are starting the damage to our kids from day one, when they do this.   Yes it might work for a bit whilst in honeymoon for some children but then trying to get the child to accept 4 injections its harder as they are used to 2.   It needs to be done though.

I hope I have explained this without sounding patronising or scaremongering, I'm not, that is not the intention.  It is reality.

Take care and go get your child back.


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## Adrienne (Feb 11, 2010)

gewatts said:


> Jacqkie - I feel just like you do. Katie is 6 and has been diagnosed for nearly 4 years. She has a terrible temper and life is a constant battle. She is used to the blood testing and injections now but just seems to be angry all the time. It is esp hard as my 10 year old is pretty well behaved. She too is on 2 injections a day but we are moving to 3 injections next week. I really hope her readings improve as they have always been up and down.  I really do feel for you.



Hi mum of Katie

The anger and temper is purely a side effect of bad levels and the big swings, it is not because she is cross, she just can't help it.    Moving to more injections will be slightly better.    I won't go on again about moving totally away from the mixes as you know how I feel about them already but when you finally move to proper MDI you will notice an even bigger and better change in Katie and the temper as a side effect will diminish.   I wish you luck for next week and hope you gain better control,  its hard work but and constant but doable.

Take care.


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## gewatts (Feb 11, 2010)

Thanks Adriene - now have a tear in my eye! Do appreciate your advice. I was really stressing about carb counting but am starting to get my head round it a bit now. Will speak to my DSN about moving to 4 injections. Not sure about school though. Will need to speak to them.


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## Adrienne (Feb 11, 2010)

gewatts said:


> Thanks Adriene - now have a tear in my eye! Do appreciate your advice. I was really stressing about carb counting but am starting to get my head round it a bit now. Will speak to my DSN about moving to 4 injections. Not sure about school though. Will need to speak to them.



Hiya mum of Katie

Don't cry.  I never know whether some of my replies will be taken the wrong way.  I don't want to accuse people of doing things wrong, as they are only being told what to do by the medical professionals and it is them who have it wrong !!  

The DSN may well try and dissaude you from moving to a lunch time injection.  So many of them say 'it is best for the school'.   Your answer to that is clear.  It is 'stuff the school, you need to protect your child from future problems so need to get the levels right now, not in years to come, just to appease the school'.

There is no law protecting diabetics in school.   The staff have to volunteer and if no volunteers the school are under the obligation to employ someone who WILL give the lunchtime injection or if Katie can do it herself then to supervise.    The school have a duty of care to all children including those with disabilities.    It used to be twice daily injections so the schools didn't have to bother but since MDI arrived about 5 years ago, schools now do have to bother.    They should each have a proper full care plan which is followed to the letter in school.

If you want help I can email you our old MDI emergency care plan ie hypos and hypers.   

Look at www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org and there are care plans on there you can use and adapt for Katie.  They are tried and tested care plans and are being used in schools as we 'speak'.

I'll do all I can to help you if you want me to, up to you, as will Bev and the others.  You are not alone with this.


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## gewatts (Feb 11, 2010)

Thank you so much Adriene. I cry very easily! Life is sometimes so hard - my other daughter is epilepic but that is another story! The head mistress at Katie's school has a teenage diabetic daughter herself so is very understanding. Also 2 of the TAs have diabetic children. Hopefully it will get sorted. I will send you my email address on private message! Sorry if I sound thick but what does MDI stand for??


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## Adrienne (Feb 11, 2010)

Sorry, only just seen this message.   MDI - multiple daily injections.  You may see is as BB as well, basal/bolus which is the same thing.   The lantus or levemir is the basal and the novorapid is the bolus.


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## gewatts (Feb 11, 2010)

Great - thanks. I always wondered what those meant!


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