# to you all



## bev (Dec 11, 2010)

Hi all,
I have been told that my response to x's version of events is 'inflammatory' and I agreeI do think it is unfair that somebody is allowed to publicly 'have a go' at me and then I am not allowed to respond. I am very quickly coming round to the idea that x has a point - if your face doesnt fit then your out. Bye.

Northerner - I am disappointed in you.


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## Emmal31 (Dec 11, 2010)

Please don't go Bev it seriously wouldn't be the same without you here I know I haven't really spoken to you much but I love reading your posts and you're always so helpful to everyone xx


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## Steff (Dec 11, 2010)

.................................


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## twinnie (Dec 11, 2010)

have to agree with emma and steff please dont go


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## Hazel (Dec 11, 2010)

Bev - you are a much valued member - please do not go 

Alex too is valued - we have enjoyed so much reading about his diabetic journey, with you by his side.

Please reconsider, as it would be so sad to lose you


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## Catwoman76 (Dec 11, 2010)

bev said:


> Hi all,
> I have been told that my response to x's version of events is 'inflammatory' and I agree - because x has been deliberately goading me for a couple of weeks now and I felt that I had had enough and wanted to give my side of things. I do think it is unfair that somebody is allowed to publicly 'have a go' at me and then I am not allowed to respond. I am very quickly coming round to the idea that x has a point - if your face doesnt fit then your out. Bye.
> 
> Northerner - I am disappointed in you.



Wow bev I'm not surprised by what goes on here, but unfortunately the things you said were a bit near the knuckle, I think you should of pm'd x and made your views only to her, but didn't know she had been goading you for weeks ;(. sheena


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## Twitchy (Dec 11, 2010)

Bev - I've tried to PM you but your inbox is full!  Please don't act in anger, you're a much valued member of this forum. x


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## Steff (Dec 11, 2010)

.......................................


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## bev (Dec 11, 2010)

Thankyou for your kind words - but it seems that even Northerner sides with x - so I dont stand a chance. It has been lovely knowing you all - but I refuse to be bullied by a young girl who should know better - but doesnt.

Alex and I will be fine - but we will miss you all and your daily goings on. I am so sorry that things have gone this way - and I know that I have the support of lots of you on here - but I will not allow a person to be allowed to have a go at me if I am not allowed to have a go back - thats just not fair.


I am also a member of the CWD list and get a lot of support from there - so I wont feel alone. But it is sad that it has to be this way as I do love you all on here.Bev


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## Steff (Dec 11, 2010)

.....................


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## Northerner (Dec 11, 2010)

Bev, what you posted was out of context in the thread and referred to events in the past. I didn't 'side' with anyone.


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## Emmal31 (Dec 11, 2010)

bev said:


> Thankyou for your kind words - but it seems that even Northerner sides with Sam - so I dont stand a chance. It has been lovely knowing you all - but I refuse to be bullied by a young girl who should know better - but doesnt.
> 
> Alex and I will be fine - but we will miss you all and your daily goings on. I am so sorry that things have gone this way - and I know that I have the support of lots of you on here - but I will not allow a person to be allowed to have a go at me if I am not allowed to have a go back - thats just not fair.
> 
> ...



I for one will certainly miss you and hearing about how Alex is getting on xx


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## Hazel (Dec 11, 2010)

Bev, please reconsider - take some time out perhaps - but come back, cos like Steffie says - I could cry too


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## Flutterby (Dec 11, 2010)

Bev, we really can't afford to lose anyone on here and your experience is very valuable.  hugs.x


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## ukjohn (Dec 11, 2010)

Bev.

I am shocked to read what has happened, but having not read or seen the original comments, I can not and should not comment on them, suffice to say that I do not believe that you would make deliberate adverse remarks without being prevoked. You have been a long time member here and have made great contributions to the forum. I will not try to talk you out of leaving, as that is a matter for your own judgement, but I will say that you will be saddly missed not only by me but also by many others here. I wish both you and Alex the very best of everything, you can be very proud of a very intellegent son.
Best wishes
John


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## bev (Dec 11, 2010)

Please understand that I am not doing this in a drama queen ' I am leaving so please beg me to stay' senario - I feel that I am being told off for replying to someone who has been having a go at me for a long time now - for no real reason, and I am a grown woman who is above this sort of behaviour normally - but, I have had enough of this particular drama queen responses and I no longer feel calm enough to be polite about it - so I feel it is better for the forum to not have me here, just in case I start pointing the finger and even swearing because I feel so outraged and angry. I am not asking for you all to beg me to stay - I am not that arrogant and dont need the ego boost. I do love you all and I will miss you all - but I feel I have been patient enough and perhaps this is the time to bow out in an adult manner and bid you all good health and good luck.Bev


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## Catwoman76 (Dec 11, 2010)

So that's seems to be another person who has left the forum, what on earth is happening ?  It's so sad  Sheena


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## rossi_mac (Dec 11, 2010)

Hope all is okay with you and Alex Bev,

Take care,

Rossi


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## Estellaa (Dec 11, 2010)

I'm sorry to see that this has happened bev  i know you have helped give me advice many a times 
alas i hope one day you come back!
Estella xx


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## Ellie Jones (Dec 11, 2010)

Bev

The final decission is yours, I wasn't amused to find my name bashed on twitter but I have faced a lot harsher treatment steming from a support forum..

I've been accused of being nothing but a murder, a stalker, and lies have been told about my health also riddiculed this still goes on to day, potshots taken from there safe havens they frequent..

Here is my safe haven, somewhere I can post to help others, learn from others and ask for support etc...

I still post on the other forum, I'm stubon also a better person than they are...


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## Robster65 (Dec 11, 2010)

Likewise. No desire to take sides in anything. Sometimes forums can be too small a place to co-exist when you don't see eye to eye. Take care and good luck.

Rob


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## bev (Dec 11, 2010)

Ellie Jones said:


> Bev
> 
> The final decission is yours, I wasn't amused to find my name bashed on twitter but I have faced a lot harsher treatment steming from a support forum..
> 
> ...



Thankyou Ellie, but I am a stickler for what is right and I cannot exist in a place that encourages wrong and ignores what is right - I know it is slightly OCD - but that is me and I wont accept anything less and I expect the same from others and sadly it seems that I wont get it here - I do not like unfairness in any form and that is what has happened here. I think I should have been a Judge by Profession....I am sorry you have also had rough treatment - often its those who dont complain about it that get the worst treatment and that isnt fair is it. I know my name has also been bandied about on FB and Twitter - and I dont even do either - but my friends have told me about it - and I am just glad that I cant see it as I feel this is very small minded people trying to be big and full of bravado.Bev


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## katie (Dec 11, 2010)

Ok I think it's unfair to turn on Northerner suddenly


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## Dizzydi (Dec 11, 2010)

Omg not sure what has been going on here today. 

But bev. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do. I will miss you and want to thank you for your support.

Take care Di xxx


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## Pigeon (Dec 11, 2010)

I don't want to get involved in anything that's happened today.

Just want to say thanks Bev for your input - although I don't respond to posts often I had never even considered spikes or splitting insulin until I saw your posts, and I now think about timing of injections and trying to stay on more even levels. I tried several of your food experiments and often refer to the results, so thank you for giving me new ideas.

Sorry to hear you feel you want to leave, but if that's your choice then we have to respect that.


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## rachelha (Dec 12, 2010)

Wishing you and Alex all the best.  You have a cracking boy there and,should be proud of both him and,yourself. Thanks for all your   support.


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## Freddie99 (Dec 12, 2010)

I won't profess to knowing what's been going on as I have no knowledge of it. I wish you and Alex the best.

Tom


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## Twitchy (Dec 12, 2010)

Morning Bev... just to say I really hope that you reconsider - you are a much loved & valued member of this forum and I really hope that last night things just got a bit heated & out of perspective (I honestly can't comment beyond that, I've not been 'in touch' with the forum a lot recently!).

If you still feel that things are out of kilter, is there anyway that maybe you, Northerner & x could somehow have a mediated discussion via another moderator to resolve this perhaps?  It just seems really, really heartbreaking that anyone should leave over this.  Whatever you decide, please take your time to make that decision.  I wish you & Alex the very best whatever you do, and I really, sincerely hope that you decide to stay! We're all human, we all make mistakes - isn't the saying 'to forgive is divine'? 

Take care Bev,

Twitchy xxx


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## bigpurpleduck (Dec 12, 2010)

Hi Bev,

I won't comment on what's happened because I don't have a clue what's going on!

I just wanted to say that you will be sorely missed. You and Alex are an inspiration, and you have helped me so much in the past few months. A big thank you is due to you for everything you've done for us here.


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## margie (Dec 12, 2010)

Hi Bev 

I don't know if you will read this but I just wanted to wish you and Alex well with whatever you do.

I don't know of any sniping but did pick up one one veiled reference to something.

Its sad you feel you have to leave, you could use the forum ignore facility and stay - but if not good luck with everything.


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## Monica (Dec 12, 2010)

As others, I haven't got a clue what you are referring to, so I'll just say the same...

I wish you all the best and thank you for helping me out.


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## HelenM (Dec 12, 2010)

I would like to point out that there is an ignore button on this forum.  I assume it works and someone can remain a member and not see the posts of a person they wish to avoid. Leaving a forum because of a disagreement with one person is often counterproductive. You lose the support and help of all the others in the forum for a problem with one. The forum unflrtunatley also loses your experience.... and for most of us surely one of the motivations is to help others if we can. Pragmatically,   If later  you want to return, it's more difficult (new name, new persona is very difficult when you've been very visible)  

I  also think that being a moderator is  hard . They are somewhere between the devil and the big blue sea. The nasty events described earlier by Ellie were, in my opinion, precipitated by inadequate moderation. 
 I think that Alan performs this difficult  balancing act very well, nipping potential problems in the bud and often with a very light touch.  Inevitably though and particularly as the forum grows, not everyone will agree with every decision he makes; particularly if personally involved. Surely though, if the forum is normally harmonius and these disagreements are rare then it is better to put the incident to one side and move forward.


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## ThunderBolt (Dec 12, 2010)

By 'eck. It's been a funny old weekend...  Initially I thought it was connected to a thread about our lads AND lasses in Iraq but it appears something has happened more recently. The Iraq one wound me up a wee bit and I'll not say which "side" I was on in case it starts another big row and upsets any departing members on the way... Or their way...  I know I've had a bit of a difference with bev (regarding Spibelts mostly. Heheh) but it's still a shame to see numbers dropping.


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## bev (Dec 12, 2010)

Hi all,
After some PM's and some great support I have made the decision that I will not be leaving the forum.

Alex also pointed out that if there are other children diagnosed and their mums need help then I might be able to help (I know he is biased). I am not saying that there isnt anyone else who *can* help - just that if there is someone with a problem that we have experienced it is great to be able to swop notes.

This is not a drama queen return - its just that I have had time to think and I wont let anyone treat me in a way that makes me feel outed from a forum that I like being a member of. I have also made some great friends on here and wouldnt want to lose those friends. Thankyou to all of you who contacted me and made your thoughts known - it was very kind of you all and that is why I like this forum - because the majority of people are wonderful and really do care.

I am sorry if the events caused upset to anyone and also that Northerner seemed to get the blame - we have now resolved this.Bev


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## Steff (Dec 12, 2010)

Bev you have made my day week month, so pleased  you have had time to reconsider, you now know they will be some kind of party haha..... so so pleased x


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## rachelha (Dec 12, 2010)

Really glad to hear you are staying


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## Monica (Dec 12, 2010)

Bev, I'm so glad you're not leaving! 

After reading your wish to Alan to delete you on here, I hastily copy/pasted our conversations that I wished to keep for further reference. I'm glad that I didn't really need to do that.


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## Northerner (Dec 12, 2010)

This has made me happy, thank you bev


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## twinnie (Dec 12, 2010)

yippee some good news see u on the island for a drink all welcome lol


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## ThunderBolt (Dec 12, 2010)

Hold me up... I think I'm going hypo... Heheh!


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## Sheilagh1958 (Dec 12, 2010)

All's well that end well 

So glad that things have been resolved for all involved


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## ThunderBolt (Dec 12, 2010)

Sheilagh1958 said:


> All's well that end well
> 
> So glad that things have been resolved for *all involved*



Hope so as well!


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## rossi_mac (Dec 12, 2010)

yay! mini cheer will have a celebratory drink 

Rossi


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## Robster65 (Dec 12, 2010)

It's good that you're staying Bev.

Rob


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## Dizzydi (Dec 12, 2010)

So glad you are staying with us. You have got a very wise boy there in Alex xxx


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## teapot8910 (Dec 12, 2010)

Great news!!!!

xxx


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## Hazel (Dec 12, 2010)

Bev, (and Alex too), I am so very pleased to hear your decision to stay with us.

I was very distressed last night, as I know things could be better for you, so I am chuffed to bits.

I look forward to hearing more from you, and learning more.

Cheers for now


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## Andy HB (Dec 12, 2010)

I know our paths don't cross much, Bev, but I'm glad that you're staying too.

It's obvious that you provide a lot of good advice to others here and that would be sorely missed.

Andy


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## sue63 (Dec 12, 2010)

So glad you are staying Bev - I haven't been on here long but your posts have always been supportive and knowlegeable...thank you x


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## bigpurpleduck (Dec 12, 2010)

Very glad to hear things have been resolved and that you're staying


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## bev (Dec 12, 2010)

I just wanted to say Thankyou to all who replied (not that I was really looking for replies - but I felt I should update you all) - it is nice to know that there is support - that's why I like this forum - Alex is also happy that we are still members as he does feel a bond with this forum as it is here we came after diagnosis and got so much help and support, and that is something you dont forget.Bev


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## xxlou_lxx (Dec 12, 2010)

Think i missed all of what happened but im glad no one is leaving, esp you bev... ur always giving great advice etc


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## margie (Dec 13, 2010)

Glad you reconsidered - Alex was quite right about the advice you could give to other parents.


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## novorapidboi26 (Dec 13, 2010)

Dont know what happened like most but I agree this thread came to a happy end......

We have had our disaggreements but the site wouldnt be the same without you bev...............glad your here to stay......


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## traceycat (Dec 13, 2010)

i dont know what happened, but im glad everything got sorted in the end. glad you an alex have decided to stay bev xxx


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## ypauly (Dec 13, 2010)

I havn't a clue what's happened either.
But in my vast experience of web forums, sometimes it's better to be the better person and rise above it.
If somebody gets out of order everybody can see that. Peopel arn't stupid (excluding me of course) Moderators will act as they see it which sadly isn't always through the eyes of the hurt person, but alan and the others do thier best.
Bev you are a valued memeber of this site, and I would urge to to reconsider.


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## Monica (Dec 13, 2010)

ypauly said:


> Bev you are a valued memeber of this site, and I would urge to to reconsider.



Ypauly, Bev has already reconsidered and will stay - hooray!!!


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## ypauly (Dec 13, 2010)

Monica said:


> Ypauly, Bev has already reconsidered and will stay - hooray!!!



Good news! I have been away from here for a while and it was the first thing I read this morning.


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## Flutterby (Dec 13, 2010)

Glad things are sorted out and you're staying.x


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## Emmal31 (Dec 13, 2010)

Hi Bev

So glad you decided to stay  I look forward to hearing more things from Alex xxx


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## sofaraway (Dec 13, 2010)

I'm really glad you are staying Bev, was lovely to meet you and would have been such a shame if you had left.


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## PhilT (Dec 14, 2010)

Bev, I've only just read this thread as I haven't been on in a while so don't really know what it was about, but I'm glad that you decided to stay as you always give such good advice to people and are a big asset to the forum.


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## ruthelliot (Dec 14, 2010)

HI Bev,
Just to re-iterate what others have said I'm very glad your staying. This is the only forum I've been on since Ben's diagnosis having just never made the time to go elsewhere and your advice is invaluable regarding both the day to day runnings of diabetes and the bigger picture - fights for pumps, schools etc.
Ruth x


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