# Going it alone



## wendy mckay (Jul 2, 2018)

Being  type 2 diabetic and over weight has become a daily struggle for me. I can't kid myself any longer in pretending that I'm not that bad....... I allowed myself to become obese and have a whole range of health issues because of it.  My days are filled with taking all these tablets and insulin that it almost consumes me. I have wanted to stop taking my insulin before and had loads of wonderful peole advising me against it. I carried on but find im still putting on weight. Im 60 years old and find myself wondering what time i have left on earth do i want to spend it stressing over my numbers etc. What i  have done is, stopped the insulin and want to just concentrate on weight loss and a really good balanced healthy eating plan without the pressure.. Has anyone had any success in doing this.? Please note that this is my decision and would not encourage anyone out there to stop their medication at any time.  It is risky, but if I don't try this, then I will never know if it worked or not. I am not that mobile so it's going to be a bit tougher in loosing the weight but going to do my best.


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## Northerner (Jul 2, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> Being  type 2 diabetic and over weight has become a daily struggle for me. I can't kid myself any longer in pretending that I'm not that bad....... I allowed myself to become obese and have a whole range of health issues because of it.  My days are filled with taking all these tablets and insulin that it almost consumes me. I have wanted to stop taking my insulin before and had loads of wonderful peole advising me against it. I carried on but find im still putting on weight. Im 60 years old and find myself wondering what time i have left on earth do i want to spend it stressing over my numbers etc. What i  have done is, stopped the insulin and want to just concentrate on weight loss and a really good balanced healthy eating plan without the pressure.. Has anyone had any success in doing this.? Please note that this is my decision and would not encourage anyone out there to stop their medication at any time.  It is risky, but if I don't try this, then I will never know if it worked or not. I am not that mobile so it's going to be a bit tougher in loosing the weight but going to do my best.


Wendy, PLEASE don't stop your insulin! This is not the way to deal with your weight problem and could have some very serious consequences. Please discuss this with your nurse of doctor before taking this step and see if they can help you. The best, and safest way to weight loss is to manage things gradually. What dietary changes have you tried? Have you tried writing a food diary so you can see clearly what your daily carbohydrate intake is like, and where you might start to reduce or replace carbs with alternatives, like fresh vegetables? If not, please make this your starting step. We will support you all the way so you are not going it alone. Stopping your insulin is highly dangerous and not sustainable, so please, take a step back and reconsider.

If you don't want to speak with your GP r nurse right now, then please contact the Diabetes UK Helpline - your call will be confidential and they will be able to help you to consider alternatives:

https://www.diabetes.org.uk/how_we_help/helpline


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## Drummer (Jul 3, 2018)

It is true that insulin is called the weight gain hormone - but it is only acting as it should do - if you need insulin to function properly then you need insulin to avoid some nasty consequences.
I lost weight by concentrating on my blood glucose levels which in my case meant changing my diet from the 'healthy' cholesterol reducing stodge I was eating.
Perhaps if you give us a typical menu we could advise on that?


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## Bubbsie (Jul 3, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> Please note that this is my decision and would not encourage anyone out there to stop their medication at any time. It is risky, but if I don't try this, then I will never know if it worked or not. I am not that mobile so it's going to be a bit tougher in loosing the weight but going to do my best.


Wendy hopefully overnight you have had time to reflect on your decision...I would advise you strongly not to stop any prescribed course of treatment before discussing it with your health care professionals...you really need to speak with them as soon as possible...whether or not your weight lead to your diabetes or not isn't the issue now...how to deal with it/manage it is...are you able to tell us what your real difficulties have been...what support you have...how is your relationship with your GP or DSN...can you communicate with them...often as patients we can fail to make them aware how difficult we find it managing our various conditions...sometimes we do but they fail to listen...whichever way it is for you there is support here...through the DUK helpline as suggested...you do need support that's why you're here...that's why we're here...we have members who have been using insulin to control their diabetes but have managed to reduce their dosage some have stopped using insulin with agreement from their medical team...I'm tagging @Spireite72 who was  using insulin & has managed to lose weight …  reduce his HbA1c.. he  no longer has to use insulin ...are you able to give us a little more information...that would help members offer the right support...please don't stop the insulin without the support of your GP or DSN...you don't have to struggle on your own...while we can offer you all the support you need...you also need to speak to your health care team please contact them today...good luck.


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## wendy mckay (Jul 3, 2018)

Thank you everyone for all your advice and support.  There is not allot I can say on my issue other than I'm not coping with this Diabetes. I have recently been diagnosed with AF which has put me in hospital a few times this year,  again related to being overweight and diabetic  i think.
So the damage is done and now have added medication to take. How did all this happen.....have I been walking around with my eyes closed all this time. My late mother was diabetic type 2, my younger sister is diabetic and one or 2 of my brother's may well be diabetic too. I don't want to be like this and I want to live......but I know it's a little too  late now. I am aware that I will not live long into old age and am trying hard to accpt my lot in life. I know it sounds like im having a pity party and i am the only one invited, but my feelings run much deeper than this. At times I feel overwhelmed with it all, thus I find it easier to give the insulin up and let nature run it's course. Mine is not a success story, but I I take my hat off to all those that are doing well and fighting this awful illness. Blessing to everyone.


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## Amigo (Jul 3, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> Thank you everyone for all your advice and support.  There is not allot I can say on my issue other than I'm not coping with this Diabetes. I have recently been diagnosed with AF which has put me in hospital a few times this year,  again related to being overweight and diabetic  i think.
> So the damage is done and now have added medication to take. How did all this happen.....have I been walking around with my eyes closed all this time. My late mother was diabetic type 2, my younger sister is diabetic and one or 2 of my brother's may well be diabetic too. I don't want to be like this and I want to live......but I know it's a little too  late now. I am aware that I will not live long into old age and am trying hard to accpt my lot in life. I know it sounds like im having a pity party and i am the only one invited, but my feelings run much deeper than this. At times I feel overwhelmed with it all, thus I find it easier to give the insulin up and let nature run it's course. Mine is not a success story, but I I take my hat off to all those that are doing well and fighting this awful illness. Blessing to everyone.



Wendy are you receiving any psychological support or counselling? You sound very overwhelmed but not defeated and there’s clearly so much more going on contributing to your issues.
It may be you’re focusing on the insulin as the main culprit but as the others have said, please don’t stop it without discussion and alternatives in place at the very least. 

Truth is Wendy, many of us ‘walked around with our eyes closed’ because somehow it’s never going to happen to us. But that’s, the past and no, it’s absolutely not too late!

Sending you the strength and will to deal with this and turn it around. Amigo


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## Bubbsie (Jul 3, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> My late mother was diabetic type 2, my younger sister is diabetic and one or 2 of my brother's may well be diabetic too. I don't want to be like this and *I want to live*.


Wendy you have to keep that in mind & speak to your GP or one of the  support services now...please call them & tell them  how you're feeling...you can contact the Samaritans...I am certain that you can improve your quality of life...you can call the DUK support line or the Samaritans  anonymously if that would be easier...please speak to someone who can help you...who can reassure you it can get better.


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## trophywench (Jul 3, 2018)

@wendy mckay - can I ask - have you amended your diet at all since you were diagnosed?  The fact is that the vast majority people who DO control their diabetes themselves have only been able to do so by testing their own blood glucose at home and adjusting their diet to try and avoid too many high readings - and the main culprit for raising blood glucose are carbohydrates.  If they can then add more exercise then this usually helps too

I think it would be far safer for you, all in all, if you would be prepared to try the dietary approach for a few months at least before doing anything as drastic as you suggest.

I don't know what you've tried and what you haven't nor what you are prepared to have a go at - that is down to you - but is isn't true that ALL changes will need to be 'drastic' !


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## Grannylorraine (Jul 3, 2018)

Amigo said:


> Wendy are you receiving any psychological support or counselling? You sound very overwhelmed but not defeated and there’s clearly so much more going on contributing to your issues.
> It may be you’re focusing on the insulin as the main culprit but as the others have said, please don’t stop it without discussion and alternatives in place at the very least.
> 
> Truth is Wendy, many of us ‘walked around with our eyes closed’ because somehow it’s never going to happen to us. But that’s, the past and no, it’s absolutely not too late!
> ...





wendy mckay said:


> Thank you everyone for all your advice and support.  There is not allot I can say on my issue other than I'm not coping with this Diabetes. I have recently been diagnosed with AF which has put me in hospital a few times this year,  again related to being overweight and diabetic  i think.
> So the damage is done and now have added medication to take. How did all this happen.....have I been walking around with my eyes closed all this time. My late mother was diabetic type 2, my younger sister is diabetic and one or 2 of my brother's may well be diabetic too. I don't want to be like this and I want to live......but I know it's a little too  late now. I am aware that I will not live long into old age and am trying hard to accpt my lot in life. I know it sounds like im having a pity party and i am the only one invited, but my feelings run much deeper than this. At times I feel overwhelmed with it all, thus I find it easier to give the insulin up and let nature run it's course. Mine is not a success story, but I I take my hat off to all those that are doing well and fighting this awful illness. Blessing to everyone.


Hi Wendy - I was also urge you not to stop taking your medication without medical advice.  Please also talk to someone about how you are feeling as you sound like your diabetes is causing you depression, plus ask to be put in touch with a dietitian with the right help you can manage your weight  and cope with your diabetes.  Life is still worth living even with Diabetes but you need the right support not just in terms of medication but with coping with your feelings and weight as well. 

Please please please speak to someone, if not your GP one of the suggestions from @Bubbsie has suggested.


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## wendy mckay (Jul 3, 2018)

Amigo said:


> Wendy are you receiving any psychological support or counselling? You sound very overwhelmed but not defeated and there’s clearly so much more going on contributing to your issues.
> It may be you’re focusing on the insulin as the main culprit but as the others have said, please don’t stop it without discussion and alternatives in place at the very least.
> 
> Truth is Wendy, many of us ‘walked around with our eyes closed’ because somehow it’s never going to happen to us. But that’s, the past and no, it’s absolutely not too late!
> ...


Hi. No I have not spoken to anyone.....too afraid of breaking down and not being able to stop crying. Gosh how pathetic is that. Anyway was great hearing from so many people, thank you and enjoy the footy tonight.....


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## Amigo (Jul 3, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> Hi. No I have not spoken to anyone.....too afraid of breaking down and not being able to stop crying. Gosh how pathetic is that. Anyway was great hearing from so many people, thank you and enjoy the footy tonight.....



Wendy, being afraid to see a therapist in case you can’t stop crying is like being afraid of seeing a dentist in case you have dental plaque! Tears and emotion are the life blood of any therapist and the release valve we all need. Sounds like you need to let all this out and stop feeling like you’re somehow undeserving.

Food can be such a psychological issue. I have a wonderful friend who was very obese and actually loathed food but it was a crutch. I know you have AF so it may be an issue but if this really is impacting so severely on your life, would you consider bariatric surgery? (Incidentally she lost 10 stone). I’m not saying it’s the answer but I have a sense your weight is fuelling a lot of your unhappiness and subsequent lack of diabetic control.

I think it’s time for a honest chat with your doctor about how desperate you are feeling. We can advise you about carb control until the cow’s come home but I doubt we’d be telling you anything you don’t already know.


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## Bubbsie (Jul 3, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> Hi. No I have not spoken to anyone.....too afraid of breaking down and not being able to stop crying. Gosh how pathetic is that. Anyway was great hearing from so many people, thank you and enjoy the footy tonight.....


Oh Wendy that's exactly what you need to do...have a good cry the relief will be tremendous...we can help you with diabetes advice...we can help you with weight loss advice & what might be a suitable diet to reduce those blood sugar levels...I agree entirely with what @Amigo has said... you need to have a chat with your doctor...that's what they're there for...if they don't know what the problem is they can't help you fix it...it's so difficult taking that first step but you've come here...spoken to us that wasn't so bad...go on just ring the surgery & speak to them.


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## Grannylorraine (Jul 3, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> Hi. No I have not spoken to anyone.....too afraid of breaking down and not being able to stop crying. Gosh how pathetic is that. Anyway was great hearing from so many people, thank you and enjoy the footy tonight.....


Not pathetic at all.  Agree with the others,  in fact when I went to a counselor, he got a little frustrated as I would not cry as it meant I was still holding my emotions back and in check.  Crying can actually be good for us.  My counselor said to me one day, is the reason you won't cry because you think if you start, you might not be able to stop, which is exactly what I was afraid off.  But when I finally let me emotions out, I did stop crying. 

I sense that by posting on here that you would like some help and support to manage your conditions,we can all help as much as we can, but I would still urge you to speak to either your medical team or DUK support line.  

Take care of yourself.


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## Ralph-YK (Jul 3, 2018)

Drummer said:


> It is true that insulin is called the weight gain hormone -


I've heard that all non diabetics have insulin, including every single thin person.
For us diabetics what may happen is, once we are able to use the glucose in our blood, since there is excess glucose, we gain wait.

I'm sorry you are struggling Wendy.  I understand wanting to forget about one thing and try to deal with something else instead.

Whatever your decision about the insulin, maybe it would be an idea to concentrate on the food a little bit.


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## wendy mckay (Jul 3, 2018)

Hi Grannylorraine.

Yes that is the way I feel. I have always been the strong one and loves to give and do whatever I can to help anyone. Somehow I just run out of steam. Thank you for your kind words. X


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## wendy mckay (Jul 3, 2018)

Bubbsie said:


> Oh Wendy that's exactly what you need to do...have a good cry the relief will be tremendous...we can help you with diabetes advice...we can help you with weight loss advice & what might be a suitable diet to reduce those blood sugar levels...I agree entirely with what @Amigo has said... you need to have a chat with your doctor...that's what they're there for...if they don't know what the problem is they can't help you fix it...it's so difficult taking that first step but you've come here...spoken to us that wasn't so bad...go on just ring the surgery & speak to them.


Hi Bubbsie
Thank you for your encouragement and thoughtfulness.x


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## wendy mckay (Jul 3, 2018)

I have had a gastric band put in quite a few years back as I have had multiple back fusions which has left me with a mobility problem. What seems a bit strange is I eat half the amount of what I used to so portion size is perhaps a side plate. I eat greens and a small amount of fruit a few times  a week. Meat on the odd occasion. So now sure what I am doing wrong. I will give some thought on the food and perhaps write down what I eat.


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## Bubbsie (Jul 3, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> I have had a gastric band put in quite a few years back as I have had multiple back fusions which has left me with a mobility problem. What seems a bit strange is I eat half the amount of what I used to so portion size is perhaps a side plate. I eat greens and a small amount of fruit a few times  a week. Meat on the odd occasion. So now sure what I am doing wrong. I will give some thought on the food and perhaps write down what I eat.


There are lots of tips for reducing your BGs we could give you Wendy...however first I think you need to address your insulin needs...you can speak to your surgery & ask them to consider reducing it if you can lower your BG over time...we have a member here who was diagnosed after having a heart attack...high blood pressure plus T2 diabetes...he was insulin dependent also taking Metformin + other meds for his heart...he has turned things around...it has taken time...some hard work & effort...he has lost weight...is now no longer insulin dependent...takes Metformin only & is hoping to come off that soon...that's not possible for all of us but most of us will be able to notice a real difference with a few life style changes...I have no doubt members here would be happy to offer support...give tips on reducing your carb intake...I have just said to another member I often wonder if my weight increase caused my diabetes...or did diabetes cause my weight gain?...I suspect it did...however it's not important how it happened once diagnosed...there is a 'blame' culture with T2...ignore that & speak to your health care team Wendy...then come back to us for all the support you need...whenever you need it.


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## wendy mckay (Jul 3, 2018)

Ok thank you I will try that. X


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## Grannylorraine (Jul 3, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> Hi Grannylorraine.
> 
> Yes that is the way I feel. I have always been the strong one and loves to give and do whatever I can to help anyone. Somehow I just run out of steam. Thank you for your kind words. X


Wendy

Sometimes it is hard for us to accept or ask for help when we are usually the strong ones helping everyone else out, but sometimes we need that help and support as well.  I was indeed in a very dark place before I finally accepted that I needed help.  I initially saw going to a counselor as weak and a failure and was ashamed that I needed that help. 

We all have those days where we feel overwhelmed by diabetes, I am not on insulin, but have to take 6 tablets a day for diabetes and have been told that insulin is my next step if this regime does not work, but I still have those days when I think [insert your choice of expletive] diabetes, I want an ice-cream or a cake and I am [another expletive] going to have one, or like I did at the weekend I gave myself permission to take a day off and enjoy a family occasion without worrying about my numbers, it actually turned into two days, but that was a conscious decision. 

I wish you luck with your trying to lose weight, although luck is really not the right word but I sometimes have trouble expressing myself in writing, I too am obese and despite being able to run 3 times a week and eating what I think is a sensible fairly low carb diet, I still struggle to get the weight off, I never seem to lose more that 1/2lb per week, and quite often my weight stays the same for a few weeks at a time. 

But whatever you do decide to do we are here to support you and listen you.

Lorraine


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## wendy mckay (Jul 3, 2018)

Grannylorraine said:


> Wendy
> 
> Sometimes it is hard for us to accept or ask for help when we are usually the strong ones helping everyone else out, but sometimes we need that help and support as well.  I was indeed in a very dark place before I finally accepted that I needed help.  I initially saw going to a counselor as weak and a failure and was ashamed that I needed that help.
> 
> ...


 Thanks Lorrain that made me smile. I too do that but feel so guilty afterwards that I think what's the point of insulin if I allow myself those few and far between delights.....then I look at the mirror and don't like what I see. Trust me when I say ....I think I would put a sailor to shame with what's comes out of my mouth.. Take care and best wishes.


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## Drummer (Jul 3, 2018)

I do count myself really lucky to be able to control my diabetes just by keeping to low carb - I took Metformin for five dreadful weeks and if it meant eating frogspawn to avoid it I would do so (sorry frogs) but I find that what I can eat is just great - I have an icecream maker, so I make a cream and egg custard, cool it in the fridge and then freeze it - 'proper' icecream and it is wonderful. I eat roast meat and veges or stirfry and fish, huge salads with oil and vinegar dressings put into little bottles with various herbs - leave to mature for at  least 24 hours, shake, pour on and enjoy. I ate 50 gm of carb max during the time my BG levels were dropping to normal, and then found that I had lost 40lb without trying. I am now eating 40 gm of carbs a day to try to lose more fat, but feel that I am living in the lap of luxury because it is the low carb foods which seem to be the ones which are my treats.
I was looking at the information on the back of a coffee latte drink powder yesterday and someone remarked on how cheap it was, to which I responded, 'But you are paying £1.50 just for the sugar it contains. That isn't a bargain.' - it was £2.40 for the jar, and 60 some percent carbs so that was only a hurried estimate - but you can see why 'luxury' mixtures are pushed at us when the ingredients are far cheaper than the mixture is sold for. We are being conditioned to think of these things as treats, but rather than the sugar and doubtful fats mixtures I will go on putting together the good stuff and enjoying it immensely. My coffee of choice is freshly percolated with cream.


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## wendy mckay (Jul 3, 2018)

Thank you for your info. Much appreciated.


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## Grannylorraine (Jul 4, 2018)

Hi Wendy

Just seeing how you are doing today?


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## wendy mckay (Jul 4, 2018)

Grannylorraine said:


> Hi Wendy
> 
> Just seeing how you are doing today?



Hello Lorraine 
I'm ok thank you... Been busy today, as my daughter arrives on Sunday from South Africa. Have not seen her for 9 years. So my mind has been occupied. How are you doing?


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## Martin Canty (Jul 4, 2018)

Hi Wendy, I'm so glad you have found this support group, we have so much to offer besides advice on D...... No matter how low (or high) you are we are always here to support you with love, compassion & caring.

Nice to see your daughter coming home, I always remember how excited my Mother was when any of her family came to visit (and yes we are scattered across the globe)


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## wendy mckay (Jul 4, 2018)

Thank you so much. I have to learn to trust and open up to people with the same health problems. Thought I was able to manage this on my own......what a kick in the b..

Yes I long for the moment I see walk out to meet us again....even if she us 40+ she is still my kid.lol Again thank you for your kindness.


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## Grannylorraine (Jul 5, 2018)

wendy mckay said:


> Hello Lorraine
> I'm ok thank you... Been busy today, as my daughter arrives on Sunday from South Africa. Have not seen her for 9 years. So my mind has been occupied. How are you doing?


I am good thank you.  It will be lovely to see your daughter again.  How long will she be staying for?  Totally agree that no matter how old children are they are still your baby.  At 55 my parents still see me as their little girl.  Now my dad can no longer drive long distances, when I take them to see friends etc, he always says how odd it feels being driven around by his little girl (especially as my username suggests I am a grandmother myself). 

Hope you have a lovely time with your daughter.


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