# Son newly diagnosed Type 1



## KateXXXXXX (Jun 1, 2011)

Confirmation today.

He's in hospital, expected home tomorrow.

S**** at any time, doubly so in the middle of your GCSE exams!  As he said yesterday: not how he expected to spend half term!

As a family, we'll cope: his dad was diagnosed at the tender age of 42, thus proving that every dinosaur curve has a tail end.  We know the routines, the diet stuff, the things to do with hypos...  But I still have that parental grief that my beautiful, perfect boy is broken and I can't fix him this time.


----------



## Steff (Jun 1, 2011)

Hi Kate and a warm welcome to the forum sorry to hear of your sons diagnosis and that you have to be here.You will get alot of help and support from us and if you have not already then have a good look around the parents section, theres a wonderful bunch of parents on this forum as well as all the rest of us so any advice help or even if you just need to rant and uburden then come on here...


----------



## Blythespirit (Jun 1, 2011)

Hello Kate and welcome to the forums. Even though you are an old hand at this diabetes lark I can well understand how devastated you are at your sons diagnosis. You're last sentence was very poignant and I'm sure lots of parents on here will echo those feelings. We have many wonderful parents on here so I'm sure you'll benefit from lots or words of wisdom from them in particular, as well as the rest of us in general. We have a few brilliant teenagers and young T1's too so maybe your son would like to join and get to know us all as well. Take care. XXXXX


----------



## Catwoman76 (Jun 2, 2011)

KateXXXXXX said:


> Confirmation today.
> 
> He's in hospital, expected home tomorrow.
> 
> ...



Dear Kate, what a blow for you and your family. I found out yesterday that my little grandaughter aged 2 1/2 was diagnoised with type 1.  She is in the High dependency unit with lots of lines and tubes.  It's so hard, but we will all get through something like this, and this is the one of best places for support and advice.  Make sure you take care of yourself.  Best wishes to you, your son and family.  Sheena x


----------



## Jennywren (Jun 2, 2011)

Hi Kate , welcome to the forum .Sorry to hear about your son and what a time to get it poor love .Its good that at least you are well informed and will be able to help your son at this difficult time , i was 10 when i got diabetes and i had the support of my dad who had ,had it since he was 27 .


----------



## margie (Jun 2, 2011)

Welcome to the forum Kate, I am sorry to hear about your son - but there are many people here who were diagnosed as young children and may help you to see your son's perspective on what's happening. 

I hope that we can help you. You may find this site useful too.

http://www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org/


----------



## Hanmillmum (Jun 2, 2011)

Hi

Just read your thread, so sorry to hear about your son's diagnosis. I felt exactly the same a year ago when my daughter was diagnosed, it's really hard to take in and you need to lean on all the support you can get. It was a huge learning curve for us as a family and still is to some extent.
How is your son coping? My daughter was too young perhaps to know any different and takes the BG testing and pump wearing without any difficulties so far (she is 2 1/2 now).

Hope you and your family get all the support and information you need, take care!


----------



## KateXXXXXX (Jun 2, 2011)

Thanks, everyone.  Just knowing there are others going through this helps.  I'm madly refreshing my knowledge and updating...  Things have moved on since my husband was diagnosed 16 years ago, and while we have coped, a refresher session with the dietitian and the nurse was great.

We have the lad home again now, and much more his usual self.  I'm used to planning meals and so forth (been on WW for years, following a low fat diet since being hospitalized with gall bladder disease!), but will just have to be more careful about things like fruit.

And teaching the pair of them to like wholemeal bread!

Bah!  We'll get there and I know not to expect it to be easy or to get it right all the time.  At least I like cooking and experimenting with food, and I'm in a better case than some, as both of us parents work from home most of the time.


----------



## Jennywren (Jun 2, 2011)

Kate , glad your sons home ,at least you can try and get things settled down a bit ,must be reassuring for you being able to work from home knowing theres someone around for your son


----------



## Copepod (Jun 2, 2011)

Kate - don't worry, all is not lost. Make sure you inform your son's school so that they can inform exam boards, who will make arrangements, so he'll still get qualifications based on work he's already done. And he'll be ready to start whatever course he plans in September. 

Back in 1992, I was a leader on an expedition to South Greenland, and had a young man aged 18, who'd had type 1 diabetes for 2 years - he looked after himself for 6 weeks, without needing any diabetes-related help from any leaders or fellow young explorers, and was on the notoriously inflexible twice a day bimodal injection regime. About 5 years later, I was diagnosed aged 30 years - and my memories of him converted to thoughts that if he could cope, so could I. Since then, we've got back in touch (helped by invention of internet) and both wonder how he did it. These days he's an A&E consultant working on helicopters in London. 

With a very few exceptions (eg armed forces, professional SCUBA diving, driving PSVs / HGVs / vans / minibuses), diabetes doesn't stop careers and activities. Getting good qualification help increase options.


----------



## KateXXXXXX (Jun 2, 2011)

Copepod said:


> Kate - don't worry, all is not lost. Make sure you inform your son's school so that they can inform exam boards, who will make arrangements, so he'll still get qualifications based on work he's already done. And he'll be ready to start whatever course he plans in September.



Done already.  They just need a medical cert for the exam boards.  That'll be done ASAP.



> Back in 1992, I was a leader on an expedition to South Greenland, and had a young man aged 18, who'd had type 1 diabetes for 2 years - he looked after himself for 6 weeks, without needing any diabetes-related help from any leaders or fellow young explorers, and was on the notoriously inflexible twice a day bimodal injection regime. About 5 years later, I was diagnosed aged 30 years - and my memories of him converted to thoughts that if he could cope, so could I. Since then, we've got back in touch (helped by invention of internet) and both wonder how he did it. These days he's an A&E consultant working on helicopters in London.



What a splendid young man!

I need to get in touch with the World Challenge team to see what's what with that, as James is booked for an expedition next summer...



> With a very few exceptions (eg armed forces, professional SCUBA diving, driving PSVs / HGVs / vans / minibuses), diabetes doesn't stop careers and activities. Getting good qualification help increase options.



One BIIIIIG thing he'll need to adjust to is the complete lack of Sandhurst-> Royal Engineers/something similar he had planned and picked his A level courses for...

Hubby Alan was diagnosed in 1995, on the point of collapse with keto-acidosis.  Since then we've had a few spectacular hypos (little green men and blue flashy lights and James and I being taught to administer Glucogon and all the lot!), but he's still managed to go off on expeditions to the hills and things.  James has a decent example to follow, and has seen the perils of lack of control up close and personal, having had to deal with one jolly good hypo all on his own a couple of years back.

We'll get there.  Right now I'm more sanguine than the lad is, but that's to be expected.  We don't do headless chicken panics in my family, and my siblings are all really supportive.

I guess I'm a lot better off than some mums who are new to this.


----------



## Northerner (Jun 2, 2011)

Hi Kate, welcome to the forum  So sorry to hear of your son's diagnosis, but it does sound like you are better placed than many to cope with what is to come. I hope that it doesn't have too much of an impact on his exams, and that he is able to stay healthy and strong throughout. You might want to get hold of a copy of Type 1 Diabetes in Children, Adolescents and Young Adults by Ragnar Hanas - the Type 1 'bible' that will get you right up to speed with current developments


----------



## KateXXXXXX (Jun 2, 2011)

Thanks for the tip.


----------



## Copepod (Jun 2, 2011)

Kate - The South Greenland expedition was with BSES Expeditions. I've led a World Challenge Expedition to Costa Rica and BSES Exped to Chile, Falklands & South Georgia since my diagnosis. Please PM if you'd like any further expedition advice - and look at MAD (Mountains for Active Diabetics) http://www.diabetic.friendsinhighplaces.org/ for more information about what people who happen to have diabetes do in the mountains. I also know of a young man with type 1 diabetes who's a civil engineer - I met him when he lifted his shirt to reveal his insulin pump at an orienteering race on a RAF base!


----------



## KateXXXXXX (Jun 2, 2011)

Ooh, ta for that!  I'll certainly look into these things and get the GMNT looking for himself once he feels ready.


----------



## Ruth Goode (Jun 4, 2011)

Sorry you are going through with this but remember you are not alone so thinking of you all ((hugs))


----------



## bev (Jun 4, 2011)

Hi Kate,

Welcome to the forum - although sorry you have to be here. It sounds like you already have great knowledge and this will help you a lot. My son is now 13 and on an insulin pump as we get much better control with it. I am wondering what the problem is with fruit.Bev


----------



## Sheilagh1958 (Jun 4, 2011)

But I still have that parental grief that my beautiful, perfect boy is broken and I can't fix him this time. [/QUOTE]

Brought tears to my eyes :-(. I really feel for you.

I have nothing but admiration for all children and parents of children with diabetes.


----------



## rspence (Jun 9, 2011)

*aching with you*

I'm sorry you're another parent who carries the disappointment of their child being type 1. from one who understands even though my son is alot younger. xx


----------



## rspence (Jun 9, 2011)

Catwoman76 said:


> Dear Kate, what a blow for you and your family. I found out yesterday that my little grandaughter aged 2 1/2 was diagnoised with type 1. She is in the High dependency unit with lots of lines and tubes. It's so hard, but we will all get through something like this, and this is the one of best places for support and advice. Make sure you take care of yourself. Best wishes to you, your son and family. Sheena x


 

dear sheena - hope i've understood this correctly - thinking of your grandaughter and her family. we spent time in HDU upon JP's diagnosis - its heart breaking and a tough road ahead but yes with love and support you'll get through it too. 

Rachel


----------



## KateXXXXXX (Jun 11, 2011)

Thank you, one and all.

So far, James is coping well with the mechanics and getting a handle on control.

Still not come to terms with the shattered dreams, but he's concentrating on exams and the immediate future for now.

My heart really goes out to those of you with very small kids who have diabetes: you really are in for the long haul.


----------



## trophywench (Jun 11, 2011)

Kate

I came from a family that coped with things, I remember crying for a full 20 minutes when I was diagnosed aged 22.  Then blew me nose and got on with it, cos I knew I had to.  Some years later I stopped going to the hospital cos it just made me cross.  I got away with it for several years but eventually even then, my GP caught up with me .....   And all proceeded apparently smoothly until I was 57 and I had a major  mental breakdown.

One of the things that added to all this - apparently! - was the fact that I'd never been allowed to grieve, as it were, for the loss of whatever it is we perceive we've lost (even if we can't verbalise what the thing is!) Turns out now that it's well known as part of the healing process anyone with the diagnosis of a chronic condition actually needs to go through so as not to damage one's psyche, all jollly interesting but my point is to appeal to you - you need somehow to allow the lad the ?space, or the ?permission, or the whatever it is! - he will need to get through this.  Oh and don't forget Kate either - she's shattered too.

Bloody hard mate - I'd feel devastated if my own perfect Golden Boy (grandson aged 14 going on 35) got owt like this.  And I send you this link; it helped me even after the event

http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm


{{{{Hugs}}}}


----------



## KateXXXXXX (Jun 11, 2011)

Oh, I'm anxious that he does take the time to grieve...  But allowing him the time and space to do so and him TAKING it are two very different things!  WE can and will give him all the time he needs, and support him any way we can, but the rest will be up to him.

And thanks for the link.  That looks interesting.  I lost my dad just before I got married, and my mum at Christmas, and now this: I recognise those stages!  I may be able to get the GMNT to look at it a few weeks down the line.


----------

