# Here we go again :-(



## Sally71 (Oct 7, 2016)

Warning - rant coming!

And here we go again.  Daughter has just dropped it on me that some people at school are being silly, whispering about her when she's having a hypo (she can hear her name being mentioned but nothing else), asking her if they can have some of her jelly babies or glucose tablets, and declaring it not fair when they can't.  They say things like "well if you're allowed to eat in class then I'm going to as well, can't have one rule for you and another for everyone else," and they think she's teachers pet because she's the only one allowed to eat in the classroom. If she tries to explain, they say "oh yes, the life-saving jelly babies" in a mocking tone.  They have a "worry box" in the classroom, daughter did put a message in it yesterday about this but I doubt the teacher will have had time to do anything about it yet. I'm going to speak to her tonight.

This all came out yesterday whilst we were having a meeting with the counsellor at the hospital (she's part of the paeds diabetes team so also has a much better understanding of diabetes than most people!).  She was horrified, took all the school contact details off me and declared that she and the DSN will go into the school and sort it out.  Which creates quite an amusing image, I can imagine that these two ladies are a fairly formidable team when dealing with know-alls and doubters, she said they had to have a meeting at a school last week where a child was having trouble, and she "really enjoyed it"   Of course I'm grateful for all help we can get, but we've already had the DSN doing a special assembly to the whole junior school, and the teacher doing a bit of a reminder lesson to their class only last year, how many more times do these idiots need to be told?!  I'm beginning to think that because my daughter looks so "normal", that some people think that there isn't really much wrong with her and that it's all a fuss about nothing, and that unless she sparks out right in front of them they will never believe anything else.  (And of course we don't want that.) She says they do understand but think it's funny.  So how do you get the message across then, why should they take any more notice this time than they did last time?

Of course we have to try and do something, but it makes me sad that my daughter will have to deal with cr*p like this throughout most if not all of her life.  I think we were extremely lucky for the first three years and hardly had any of these problems at all, but we're certainly getting a few now!  And next year she will transfer to secondary school and we'll have to start all over again 

At least she seems to be able to tell me about these problems a bit more easily now, rather than suffering in silence for weeks, so that's a slight improvement at least. Let's hope that something will get done - although it might take time to organise for the DSN and counsellor to go in.  Fingers crossed...

Thank you for reading, rant over now! It does help to have a bit of a rant and get it all out, I'd probably brood about it all day if I didn't, and that's not helpful either.  This forum is brilliant


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## Bubbsie (Oct 7, 2016)

Sally71 said:


> Warning - rant coming!
> 
> And here we go again.  Daughter has just dropped it on me that some people at school are being silly, whispering about her when she's having a hypo (she can hear her name being mentioned but nothing else), asking her if they can have some of her jelly babies or glucose tablets, and declaring it not fair when they can't.  They say things like "well if you're allowed to eat in class then I'm going to as well, can't have one rule for you and another for everyone else," and they think she's teachers pet because she's the only one allowed to eat in the classroom. If she tries to explain, they say "oh yes, the life-saving jelly babies" in a mocking tone.  They have a "worry box" in the classroom, daughter did put a message in it yesterday about this but I doubt the teacher will have had time to do anything about it yet. I'm going to speak to her tonight.
> 
> ...


Shame Sally71...thankfully she has a formidable & proactive DSN and counsellor...almost feel sorry for her class mates children when they get to 'grips' with them...might be an idea if their parents are told of the difficulties your daughter is experiencing...not to punish them...since I'm sure if they knew how upsetting it was they wouldn't do it...just to inform and educate them...good luck...


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## Owen (Oct 7, 2016)

Sally71 said:


> Warning - rant coming!
> 
> And here we go again.  Daughter has just dropped it on me that some people at school are being silly, whispering about her when she's having a hypo (she can hear her name being mentioned but nothing else), asking her if they can have some of her jelly babies or glucose tablets, and declaring it not fair when they can't.  They say things like "well if you're allowed to eat in class then I'm going to as well, can't have one rule for you and another for everyone else," and they think she's teachers pet because she's the only one allowed to eat in the classroom. If she tries to explain, they say "oh yes, the life-saving jelly babies" in a mocking tone.  They have a "worry box" in the classroom, daughter did put a message in it yesterday about this but I doubt the teacher will have had time to do anything about it yet. I'm going to speak to her tonight.
> 
> ...


I get the same at work. Someone hid my hypo kit. Complained that they did not always get breaks but I do.
Go give them hell or they will always behave like idiots


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## Northerner (Oct 7, 2016)

Very sorry to hear this Sally  Hard enough for your daughter growing up with this, without stupid people making things harder  I hope that you can get some sort of resolution, and that those who doubt feel guilty and chastised and work harder to be nice instead of selfish and nasty!


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## Sally71 (Oct 7, 2016)

OMG @Owen - you'd think adults would have more sense, I'm talking about 10-year-olds!  Yes kids can be horrible, but I always thought that bullying was more of a secondary school problem, it's started early for my poor daughter  I think they pick on her because they know she won't fight back, I don't want to encourage her to start hitting people but sadly I think that's all some people understand 
She's had some trouble before, not D-related, just general nastiness - deputy head dragged the perpetrators out of the class for 45 minutes for a telling off and we thought that had stopped it, but it seems to be starting again now


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## grovesy (Oct 7, 2016)

Sorry but bullying can start at any age!


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## Owen (Oct 7, 2016)

Sally71 said:


> OMG @Owen - you'd think adults would have more sense, I'm talking about 10-year-olds!  Yes kids can be horrible, but I always thought that bullying was more of a secondary school problem, it's started early for my poor daughter  I think they pick on her because they know she won't fight back, I don't want to encourage her to start hitting people but sadly I think that's all some people understand
> She's had some trouble before, not D-related, just general nastiness - deputy head dragged the perpetrators out of the class for 45 minutes for a telling off and we thought that had stopped it, but it seems to be starting again now


I was lucky that I could afford to put my girls through private education, the difference was unbelievable. If I were you I would ask to be a parent governor. That way you can have a positive impact through direct involvement. I did this and it made a difference. Sophie instead of being bullied for dyslexia, excelled and is in her final year of her degree.


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## Owen (Oct 7, 2016)

Sally71 said:


> OMG @Owen - you'd think adults would have more sense, I'm talking about 10-year-olds!  Yes kids can be horrible, but I always thought that bullying was more of a secondary school problem, it's started early for my poor daughter  I think they pick on her because they know she won't fight back, I don't want to encourage her to start hitting people but sadly I think that's all some people understand
> She's had some trouble before, not D-related, just general nastiness - deputy head dragged the perpetrators out of the class for 45 minutes for a telling off and we thought that had stopped it, but it seems to be starting again now


Yes work place bullying for an ex tough military man, I have experienced it in three places now. But Karma always prevails in the end


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## Pumper_Sue (Oct 8, 2016)

Is your daughter ok with glucose tablets sally? I wonder if it's just the jealousy of the sweets that is the problem so changing to something else might make a difference. I know I was never allowed to eat sweets in class it had to be sugar lumps and eaten discreetly.
It's a pity these spiteful children can't be made to live as a diabetic for a couple of weeks


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## Sally71 (Oct 8, 2016)

She doesn't really like glucose tablets, but apparently the other kids want those too!  They think she's getting special treatment - well I suppose she is, but it's obviously for a good reason - yes you can have a different rule for her if her life depends on it!  She would love to be able to swap places with other people just for a day, so that they could see exactly what her life is like and she could have a day of just eating whatever she felt like without even thinking about it!

The teacher is going to speak to the class again, she thinks they are just being ignorant/have forgotten what it's all about. Hmmm, I'm not so sure, as it's all the naughty ones/people who are not her friends, I think they probably do know but either don't really believe it's all that bad or don't care, in which case how many times do they have to be told before it sinks in...

The counsellor said that she wants me and my daughter to be involved with any meetings that they do have; on the one hand I'd love to be there, on the other hand I might be tempted to say something that I'd regret later, like "please can you tell me exactly WHY you think it's so funny" and "yes you can have her sweets, as long as you also have her needles, carb counting, hospital appointments and having to sit there with idiots poking fun at you when you're feeling like sh*t and don't even want to eat anything at all "
They don't seem to understand that she'd far rather be like them and be subject to all the same rules, because then that would mean there was nothing wrong with her!
And if you tell them that she'd die if you took her insulin away, are they likely to use that against her as a subject for more bullying rather than finally getting the message?  I know not 

So if there ever is such a meeting with me involved, I might have to bite my tongue very hard and let everyone else do the talking... It will probably take ages to organise though, if it ever happens, so I shall try not to think about it and hope the teacher can keep an eye on things


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## SB2015 (Oct 9, 2016)

Hi Sally, I am so sorry to hear that your daughter is suffering from these bullies.  
It is good that your daughter is happy to talk to you about what is happening.

It may be useful if the parents of the children involved could understand what is happening.  
They could then talk to their own children as well as the school doing so.

I do nope that you can help to sort things out.


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## Bloden (Oct 13, 2016)

Sally71 said:


> OMG @Owen - you'd think adults would have more sense, I'm talking about 10-year-olds!  Yes kids can be horrible, but I always thought that bullying was more of a secondary school problem, it's started early for my poor daughter  I think they pick on her because they know she won't fight back, I don't want to encourage her to start hitting people but sadly I think that's all some people understand
> She's had some trouble before, not D-related, just general nastiness - deputy head dragged the perpetrators out of the class for 45 minutes for a telling off and we thought that had stopped it, but it seems to be starting again now


Kids are NASTY. I'm very aware of bullying in class and nip it in the bud immediately if I suspect there's a situation developing...the girls are the worst! I hope your feisty ladies succeed where the teachers seem to have failed, Sally...I'm frustrated for you and your daughter!!!!


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## Shivles (Oct 13, 2016)

No real suggestions I'm afraid just wanted to offer some sympathy, I dread it when I have to deal with this stuff  

Kids are so cruel, they will find anything to pick on. Could she maybe have lucouzade in a bottle you can't see through? She could pretend it's her water


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## Sally71 (Oct 14, 2016)

Shivles said:


> No real suggestions I'm afraid just wanted to offer some sympathy, I dread it when I have to deal with this stuff
> 
> Kids are so cruel, they will find anything to pick on. Could she maybe have lucouzade in a bottle you can't see through? She could pretend it's her water


Oh I like that idea, might have to try it (with Ribena rather than Lucozade though).  Will see if I can find a suitable bottle!

Nothing seems to have happened yet, I told her I'd give the teacher a week and then go back in and find out what's going on.  Have managed to reduce the hypos to almost none so that's an improvement, mid morning is still a bit dodgy though, I'll probably just get it perfectly sorted by half term and then it will all change again afterwards!

My daughter overheard a lady who sometimes works in the school office talking to her teacher yesterday, her ears pricked up because she heard her own name mentioned - the office lady was asking if the teacher had had a message from my daughter's diabetes nurse, so it sounds like they are keeping their end of the bargain and are trying to make contact at least 

Most of the problem now seems to be with one girl in particular who is just being generally spiteful, e.g. my daughter's bag with all her medical bits in fell onto the floor, and rather than picking it up again (or even leaving it there if she didn't feel like being helpful) she kicked it!  And if they have to work together in class, she makes my daughter do all the work, refuses to do any herself and then complains loudly when the result isn't how she would have done it etc.  Fair enough they don't like each other, you can't like everyone can you, but that's no reason to be nasty  So if my daughter says that nothing has happened today either then I think I'll have another word with the teacher next week.

I work at the school as a Midday Supervisor (dinner lady) and also at the Breakfast Club, most people are aware who I'm the mum of; if I happen to meet this nasty girl during the course of my duties she won't look me in the eye


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## Carolg (Oct 14, 2016)

Asda here had a purple sippy  bottle if that helps you find one.


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## Jonsi (Oct 14, 2016)

Sally71 said:


> She would love to be able to swap places with other people just for a day, so that they could see exactly what her life is like


Why not suggest it ...have a Diabetes understanding day. All the kids in her class come to school without having breakfast at home, no sweets or drinks on the way. They go through the school day as normal but have your daughters meals starting with breakfast (bet that'd be a shock against the usual Chocolate Cloggo that many would eat) and follow her food regime all day. Ask the DSN etc. to inform the children (again) about Diabetes, what it is, how it affects, why some people need insulin and why some don't. I'm sure the school would be happy with that for one day


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## Sally71 (Oct 19, 2016)

Update... Counsellor actually managed to speak to the class teacher on the phone yesterday and mentioned both her and DSN going in, so hopefully something will get sorted fairly soon!
And it seems that Little Miss Spiteful is nasty to lots of people and has hardly any friends, so hopefully she will find out the hard way that if you want people to like you you have to be nice to them too!


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## SB2015 (Oct 19, 2016)

Good to hear that the DSN and Counsellor are on the case, and will not let things lie.  I hope that things improve soon.


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## Redkite (Oct 19, 2016)

Sally71 said:


> Update... Counsellor actually managed to speak to the class teacher on the phone yesterday and mentioned both her and DSN going in, so hopefully something will get sorted fairly soon!
> And it seems that Little Miss Spiteful is nasty to lots of people and has hardly any friends, so hopefully she will find out the hard way that if you want people to like you you have to be nice to them too!



Hope you can get this resolved.  Kids can be very nasty, and because nobody wants the main bully to turn on them too, few are brave enough to stick up for the victim, even if they don't actually join in.  You just want to give these nasty little so and so's a week of injections and horrid sleepless nights with highs or hypos, and see how much they'd care about jelly babies then .

My son has been having trouble recently with a boy who is part of his friendship group, but who has never really been a good friend.  Has been with him since primary school, where my son was discriminated against and not supported at all, and I've noticed how kids from that school are far less tolerant of my son's need to test BG, treat hypos etc, because they grew up seeing his diabetes being either ignored or treated as a nuisance.  Others who he met later on are much more accepting.  Recently this charming boy has started calling my son names with "diabetic" used as an intended insult.  The most recent incident, my son refused to hand over his maths homework to be copied, and the bully stamped on his foot and called him a diabetic spastic, retard and dickhead.  My son did not retaliate (I sometimes wish he would, but he's a gentle lad), but he is quite stubborn and totally resolved never to give his maths again.  He says he can deal with it and isn't too bothered, but I was outraged.  Hoping for some karma for the boy in question!!!  They are 15....


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## trophywench (Oct 20, 2016)

I'm a great believer in 'what goes round, comes round!' myself Redkite.  Oh to be a fly on the wall when it does ...... LOL


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## Sally71 (Oct 20, 2016)

trophywench said:


> I'm a great believer in 'what goes round, comes round!' myself Redkite.  Oh to be a fly on the wall when it does ...... LOL


Me too lol... That's what I'm hoping will happen to Little Miss Spiteful one day!  They had a Halloween disco at school yesterday and couldn't even get through that without her being nasty, daughter was standing behind the spiteful one in the queue for the tuck shop when she started squabbling with someone else; she then turned round and accused my daughter of listening in to the argument and wouldn't take any notice when daughter tried to explain that she was just standing there and wasn't listening!  I told my daughter she should put this girl in the spot and ask her outright why exactly she hates her so much, my daughter has never done anything to her.  Except not inviting her to her birthday party last year, but surely even idiots can see that if you're having a party you're not going to invite people that you don't like or that don't like you!

@Redkite sorry to hear your son is having difficulties too, glad to hear that he is finding a way of dealing with it.  It does make you mad though doesn't it, I'd love to go steamrollering into the school and just have it out with all these idiots, not sure that would help though, in fact it would probably make things worse, not to mention lose me my job!


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