# lack of info - so angry



## Dizzydi (Nov 16, 2010)

Basically I have found out today that the chances of ivf working was as low as me getting pregnant naturally. I'm more likely to be able to plat fog.

One of the initial tests they do is to see what level of reserves you have and level of maturity of your eggs. They like levels to be between 20 - 40. Mine are 2.5
! If you are less than 2.2 they won't offer ivf.

I askd the doctor why this was not explained properly when we were told we could do it. I told her I specifically asked what all the results meant. Her answer was the nurses don't like upsetting people.

I told her if I'd known then what I know now I would not of done it. I am so angry.

They have suggested using a donar. Both my sisters have offered, but i can't put them through it. I'm not that desparate.

I am so angry, cause I have delayed stating the adoption process. Now I know I am baron and got no chance, there is nothing stopping me from getting on with things.

I feel like someone had died again today.


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## margie (Nov 16, 2010)

Oh Di, I am not surprised you are so angry. You must feel like a rug has been pulled from under your feet. I think the staff who did not tell you the chances were no higher than conceiving naturally were cruel. They built your expectations up for no reason.

Its understandable that you feel like someone has died - you are having to let go of something you want so dearly.

I hope that you have success with adopting. Hope your family are looking after you and hubby.


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## bigpurpleduck (Nov 16, 2010)

So sorry you've had this news, Di, after them giving you false hope. It must be devastating.

Hopefully focusing your energies on starting the adoption process will help a little.

Sending big hugs your way.


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## Steff (Nov 16, 2010)

So so sorry to hear your news you ave every right to be angry hun wish they was more i coudl say or do xx


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## MeanMom (Nov 16, 2010)

o i'm so sorry you had to go through all that. Know what you mean about feeling like someone died - I used to feel like that every month and it got worse at time went on. You are very brave to go for adoption - what made me so sad was I knew my hubby would never go that route. When I was lucky enough (and I regard it as a miracle) to conceive naturally I knew it was my only chance so my K is all the more precious to me for that. I hope you manage to complete the adoption process as quickly as possible, and things work out for you very soon.
(((hugs)))


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## bev (Nov 16, 2010)

Sorry to hear this, perhaps the nurses thought that if you have positive hope then that might give you a fighting chance. I doubt it was done malicously, just more a case of misguided care. I wish you all the luck with your plans to adopt - there are lots of children who I am sure would love to be part of your family.Bev


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## Twitchy (Nov 16, 2010)

Di I'm so sorry - it must be a horrible feeling.  I guess at least you know where you stand now - fingers crossed the adoption process moves smoothly & swiftly for you - I'm sure you will be a great mum. xx


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## Dizzydi (Nov 16, 2010)

All I've ever wanted to be is a mummy and I feel like I've had my heart ripped out.

Thanks everyone for your support. Think I need to hide away from life for a while to lick my wounds again.

I won't start the adoption process until I feel in a better place xxx


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## Northerner (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm really sorry to hear this Di  Please take care and look after yourself. I hate it when doctors won't explain things properly, although I've never had to deal with anything as important as this.


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## Dizzydi (Nov 16, 2010)

Northerner said:


> I'm really sorry to hear this Di  Please take care and look after yourself. I hate it when doctors won't explain things properly, although I've never had to deal with anything as important as this.





Thanks northy x


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## Flutterby (Nov 16, 2010)

So sorry Di, sending huge hugs, really feel for you, how stupidly cruel not to give you the full picture.  Wish I could say something that would help.xx


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## Sheilagh1958 (Nov 16, 2010)

So sorry to hear you news Di. 

Once you are feeling stronger physically and mentally you can start the adoption process. Hope 2011 is kind to you and brings you the children you deserve.


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## am64 (Nov 16, 2010)

big hugs hunny ...thats so unfair xxx however i want to tell you i know of two people that were dx not being able to conceive who got pregnant ! best of luck x


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## smile4loubie (Nov 17, 2010)

I'm so sorry Di. If theres anything I can do let me know. Big hugs xxxxxxx


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## Dizzydi (Nov 17, 2010)

smile4loubie said:


> I'm so sorry Di. If theres anything I can do let me know. Big hugs xxxxxxx



Thanks for the kind words and offer of help I really appreicate it. Thats goes to everyone.

Me & Hubby will be ok, we just need to get over the shock and pick ourselves up. We need a bit of time to get our heads around the cruel blow we have been delt. 

Once we are mentally in a good place we will get on with the adoption paperwork and once our house has been extended we will have room for Oh at least half a dozen lol ( 1 or 2)

Thanks again everyone xxx


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## grahams mum (Nov 17, 2010)

Dizzydi said:


> All I've ever wanted to be is a mummy and I feel like I've had my heart ripped out.
> 
> Thanks everyone for your support. Think I need to hide away from life for a while to lick my wounds again.
> 
> I won't start the adoption process until I feel in a better place xxx



remember doctors and nurses dont kniow everything they are not GOD on earth they said the same to me 8 years ago and i had a lots of surgery on my uterus and tbes and ovary so try to be positive i know is not easy i have been trough it


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## Dizzydi (Nov 18, 2010)

grahams mum said:


> remember doctors and nurses dont kniow everything they are not GOD on earth they said the same to me 8 years ago and i had a lots of surgery on my uterus and tbes and ovary so try to be positive i know is not easy i have been trough it



Thanks Grahams mum, I see were you are coming from. I know keeping a little hope is good sometimes. But in my case i've not much left in my ovaries and what there is very low standard.

I now have to accept that I will not be able to physically get pregnant and move on with life. Somewhere out there are a couple of kiddies with my name on who are in neeed of lots of love and a good home. When I'm in a better place I will be fighting fit and get the adoption process started.

But thanks again for you kind words and all the best for you new baby on the way xxx


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## Lizzzie (Nov 18, 2010)

Oh rude words. Only just read this. Can't say anything except I'm sorry.

Oh, and that somewhere there are some children born in unlucky circumstances whose lives are going to change for the better; to ones where, whatever the circumstances they were born to, they couldn't be wanted or loved more. That's an amazing thing to do.


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