# Nursing 101



## Northerner (Feb 26, 2009)

This is what I imagined about  the nurse who wrote in to ‘Balance’ about people injecting in public (see thread ‘Injecting in restaurants etc.). 

‘You’ve been a nurse for some time now,
So, let’s put you to the test.
We’ll give you some scenarios,
And you say which one’s best.’

‘You’re in a busy restaurant
And see across the way
A person injecting insulin.
What do you think you’d say?’

‘Would you, (a) Think it’s disgusting,
And should be out of sight?
Or (b) Think ‘What’s the problem?
I think that that’s alright.’?’

‘My goodness! You are seething!
Your face and neck’s gone red!
I think you’d better lie down!
Can someone find a bed?!!’

‘And now you’re spitting feathers!
And you can hardly speak!
You’re going apoplectic!
You’re staring like a freak!’

‘What was that you just spluttered?
They should be in a cage?
Don’t think a nurse has ever shown
Such incandescent rage!’

‘Now, calm down dear, and listen.
I think this test is done,
And you have failed, without a doubt,
Your Nursing 101!’



(c) Northerner 2009. Please do not reproduce this without permission.


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## sofaraway (Feb 26, 2009)

Brilliant!! 

I think that might be my favourite!


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## Donald (Feb 26, 2009)

very good hehe


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## bev (Feb 26, 2009)

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 That made me laugh out loud! Its brilliant!
Why dont you get all your poems published? I would definately buy the book - your so witty!Bev


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## HelenM (Feb 26, 2009)

Brilliant.
In hommage, it  doesn't scan as well as yours
  Your Poem to me speaks truth -  and
 To Balance it should be sent.
  So the nurse who wants jabbing in restaurants banned
  Sees  clearly, 
  her views, 
 WE RESENT


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## Copepod (Feb 26, 2009)

Perhaps worth bringing the whole story to a wider nursing audience? Nursing Times and Nursing Standard are 2 weekly nursing journals. Nursing and Midwifery Council deals with professional standards etc - see http://www.nmc-uk.org/ However, I don't know if they would consider the effects of a letter written by a nurse. Without knowing the letter writer's status,  don't know if s/he is registered and thus within the remit of the NMC.


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## Ikklemo (Feb 26, 2009)

Once again a very good poem - you really are a master with the pen.

Mo.


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## aymes (Feb 26, 2009)

Fantastic!!! You should send it in to Balance...


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## MarcLister (Feb 26, 2009)

I nominate you to be the official poet laureate to the diabetessupport Message Boards.


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## aymes (Feb 26, 2009)

MarcLister said:


> I nominate you to be the official poet laureate to the diabetessupport Message Boards.




seconded!!


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## angel30eyes (Feb 26, 2009)

aymes said:


> seconded!!



Thirded!! If there is such a thing lol


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## MarcLister (Feb 27, 2009)

angel30eyes said:


> Thirded!! If there is such a thing lol


Course there is!  We've got a problem now though. Fourthed?


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## Northerner (Feb 27, 2009)

MarcLister said:


> I nominate you to be the official poet laureate to the diabetessupport Message Boards.





aymes said:


> seconded!!



I'm honoured!


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## Corrine (Feb 27, 2009)

Well, if we have a fourthed then I have to be a fifthed!


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## Northerner (Mar 5, 2009)

aymes said:


> Fantastic!!! You should send it in to Balance...



I just got a reply from Balance to my query about submissions, and they suggest no more than 100 words. Unfortunately, most of my poems are way beyond that (this one is one of my shorter ones, around 160, maybe not _too_ long?). I'll have to try and write one that's a bit shorter, but I like to have a bit of a story in them and that's hard with only 100 words!


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## katie (Mar 5, 2009)

Somehow ive only just seen this poem... It's genius.  You have to send it in


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## Adrienne (Mar 5, 2009)

Hi

Don't take any notice of the 100 word thing.  Just send it in to them.  I always waffle on over 100 words (as you are now no doubt aware) and once they obviously liked my waffling and because it was too long for the letters page I was the soapbox feature that week.  Amazing.    Just send it, it's brilliant and needs sending now so it will hopefully be in next months complaining about her.


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## Admin (Mar 5, 2009)

Northerner - I would love to send this in on your behalf with a story about how well this site is doing - no guarantees - but would you be up for that?
Lemme know (via message) and I will do it after hol )


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## Northerner (Mar 8, 2009)

Adrienne said:


> Hi
> 
> Don't take any notice of the 100 word thing.  Just send it in to them.  I always waffle on over 100 words (as you are now no doubt aware) and once they obviously liked my waffling and because it was too long for the letters page I was the soapbox feature that week.  Amazing.    Just send it, it's brilliant and needs sending now so it will hopefully be in next months complaining about her.



Thanks Adrienne, I guess if they think it would appeal to the readers then they'll find space for it. Thank you for your encouragement!


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## Northerner (Mar 8, 2009)

Admin said:


> Northerner - I would love to send this in on your behalf with a story about how well this site is doing - no guarantees - but would you be up for that?
> Lemme know (via message) and I will do it after hol )



Now, that *would* be an honour!


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## sofaraway (Mar 8, 2009)

I hope that they would publish it all. I did have a letter published in Balance, I was the Star letter that month, but they did edit it (without asking).


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## Northerner (Mar 8, 2009)

It would be very hard to edit a poem without losing something significant, but I guess they could knock out a verse or two, but I think that would spoil it as the whole point with this one is building an image of just how *FURIOUS* the nurse is!


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## joeefc (Mar 8, 2009)

great poem 10 out of 10.


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## Steff (Mar 8, 2009)

seconded ! x


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## Northerner (Apr 8, 2009)

Adrienne said:


> Hi
> 
> Don't take any notice of the 100 word thing.  Just send it in to them.  I always waffle on over 100 words (as you are now no doubt aware) and once they obviously liked my waffling and because it was too long for the letters page I was the soapbox feature that week.  Amazing.    Just send it, it's brilliant and needs sending now so it will hopefully be in next months complaining about her.



I sent it, along with some others - this is the reply I received today:



> Many thanks for sending some samples of your poetry to Balance; we really enjoyed reading the poems - especially 'Ode to a perfect pancreas'. We think many Balance readers would also enjoy your poems, and so the editor will keep them on file for possible publication in future issues of Balance.
> 
> Thanks again for sharing your poetry with us.


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## sofaraway (Apr 9, 2009)

good to hear you got a response, fingers crossed they will put them in


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## Andy (Apr 10, 2009)

I will look out for seeing any of them in Balance Northerner but won't hold my breath lol.


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## Sugarbum (Apr 10, 2009)

sofaraway said:


> I hope that they would publish it all. I did have a letter published in Balance, I was the Star letter that month, but they did edit it (without asking).



which one was that? I must have read them all!

I sent in a letter this month, more of a whinge. Id be very suprised if it gets in. The hear from me bi-monthly on my every diabetic thought!


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## sofaraway (Apr 10, 2009)

Sugarbum said:


> which one was that? I must have read them all!
> 
> I sent in a letter this month, more of a whinge. Id be very suprised if it gets in. The hear from me bi-monthly on my every diabetic thought!



Just dug it out, it is nov-dec 2005, 

it reads  "I feel that my knowledge of the disease is actually better than my healthcare team's" 

what I actually wrote was "I feel my knowledge of the disease is actually better than most Dr's i come across" 

(I was meaning non-diabetic Dr's, Gp's etc.)

So as you can guess my consultant at the time wasn't too pleased


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## Tasha43x (Apr 10, 2009)

thirded !!!! LOL xxx


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## Northerner (Apr 21, 2009)

Well, there was a lot of response to the 'Disgusted Nurse' letter in the latest issue of Balance, but they obviously found my poem unworthy of publication


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## Patricia (Apr 21, 2009)

I noticed that Northerner -- though I was delighted to see the outpouring (both yours and the letters'!).

And here's a thing: I actually am a writer. Like, it's my job.

Maybe Balance could put up a 'creativity' section online?


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## aymes (Apr 21, 2009)

Oooh, is the new one out, I've not got my copy yet


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## Northerner (Apr 21, 2009)

aymes said:


> Oooh, is the new one out, I've not got my copy yet



You've got a riveting artlicle about Morris Dancing to look forward to!


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## Northerner (Apr 21, 2009)

Patricia said:


> I noticed that Northerner -- though I was delighted to see the outpouring (both yours and the letters'!).
> 
> And here's a thing: I actually am a writer. Like, it's my job.
> 
> Maybe Balance could put up a 'creativity' section online?



I'm exceedingly jealous! May I ask what areas you write in (please don't say lounge, office, bedroom etc.!)


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## aymes (Apr 21, 2009)

Northerner said:


> You've got a riveting artlicle about Morris Dancing to look forward to!



You know, it almost makes me want to leave work early to go and check the post.... 
Oh yea, work, probably should be doing some of that....


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## Patricia (Apr 21, 2009)

Hi Northerner

Sure. I've published a book of poems and a novel. I have a collection of short stories ready, and am working on a book of non-fiction as well as a second collection of poems. I teach creative writing at a university, undergraduate and postgraduate. Really love it.

Um, that's the size of it. Have written creatively as long as I've been able to write at all. Believe in writing for everyone!


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## Northerner (Jun 14, 2009)

*Return of the NIMBY nurse!*

The nurse who was horrified at people injecting in public has been given even more space in the latest issue of Balance. It seems all of us who object to her attitude are the ones with the attitude problem, and we should stop thinking about ourselves and show more consideration for others. B*t*h! Sorry, I think her attitude stinks! As I said in my recent post about the wedding I attended, I asked if the other guests minded me injecting and they didn't - it would have been very disruptive to have to leave to inject, and I couldn't inject before I was served. I think, in the famous words of Sir Les Patterson, she should go and stick her head up a dead bear's bum...


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 14, 2009)

Northerner said:


> The nurse who was horrified at people injecting in public has been given even more space in the latest issue of Balance. It seems all of us who object to her attitude are the ones with the attitude problem, and we should stop thinking about ourselves and show more consideration for others. B*t*h! Sorry, I think her attitude stinks! As I said in my recent post about the wedding I attended, I asked if the other guests minded me injecting and they didn't - it would have been very disruptive to have to leave to inject, and I couldn't inject before I was served. I think, in the famous words of Sir Les Patterson, she should go and stick her head up a dead bear's bum...



Well I really would love to say what I am thinking right now but I think you would have to Moderate me Northerner !! grrrr I would love to get her on her own with a selection of sharp objects!!!


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## Northerner (Jun 14, 2009)

insulinaddict09 said:


> Well I really would love to say what I am thinking right now but I think you would have to Moderate me Northerner !! grrrr I would love to get her on her own with a selection of sharp objects!!!



I had to moderate myself!!!


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 14, 2009)

Northerner said:


> I had to moderate myself!!!



He he I bet you did !! I see we were thinking along the same lines then ha ha 



Oh p.s get my Trophy ready I'm fast approaching my 3000 posts mark


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## Einstein (Jun 14, 2009)

Northerner said:


> I had to moderate myself!!!


 
Does this woman actually subscribe to Balance? Why is she getting so much page space?

I am sick to death of the fact that in this country the voice of a minority has far too much say. Not once have I ever had anyone ask me if I'd mind going elsewhere to inject, testing, well a few people don't like blood and its difficult to test out of sight as you're unlikely to hit the test strip.

We're past the days of vials and syringes where you needed to inject air into the vial, draw the insulin, remove and residual air from the syringe then adjust to the measure you need. All of course needing to be in the air so you could get the air to the top of the syringe etc.

Most people can't see the needle on todays pens, this woman clearly ought to consider the career she's chosen, I'd hate to be nursed by her. She seems to be a self opinionated, inconsiderate, selfless individual. Would be interesting to see if she was diabetic what she'd make of the state of the areas she'd like us to vanish to in order to inject?

DUK are fools for not realising the balance of opinion is that she's out numbered and close the topic. Unless there isn't anything else to report on, in which case, I know of a poet who has some carefully worded poems on a wide range of topics close to everyones thoughts.


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## Munjeeta (Jun 14, 2009)

Einstein said:


> Most people can't see the needle on todays pens, this woman clearly ought to consider the career she's chosen, I'd hate to be nursed by her. She seems to be a self opinionated, inconsiderate, selfless individual. Would be interesting to see if she was diabetic what she'd make of the state of the areas she'd like us to vanish to in order to inject?
> 
> DUK are fools for not realising the balance of opinion is that she's out numbered and close the topic. Unless there isn't anything else to report on, in which case, I know of a poet who has some carefully worded poems on a wide range of topics close to everyones thoughts.



Hear hear. Honestly. I couldn't believe it when I saw her reply. I wish I was articulate enough to write in and blow her pompousness out of the water!


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## Einstein (Jun 14, 2009)

Munjeeta said:


> Hear hear. Honestly. I couldn't believe it when I saw her reply. I wish I was articulate enough to write in and blow her pompousness out of the water!


 

Well, people don't like it when I do a character assassination on them, least of all I guess if it were in writing... so I'm not offering.

NORTHERNER!! Get your pen out, we need a letter


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## katie (Jun 14, 2009)

Yeah Northerner, DO IT!!

What a stupid *beep*.  I can't believe they put her response in.  It's like the BNP being allowed a party election broadcast on tv in my opinion


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## Northerner (Jun 14, 2009)

katie said:


> Yeah Northerner, DO IT!!
> 
> What a stupid *beep*.  I can't believe they put her response in.  It's like the BNP being allowed a party election broadcast on tv in my opinion



I am incensed by this ignorant, uncaring, self-centred person and fully intend to respond - not only to her vituperative, inflammatory letter, but also to Balance's ignorance of the readership of their publication. I welcome debate, but not bigotry and prejudice. 

And yes, from the responses I have had here, I believe that their pages would be better filled with some humorous poetry that cheers people up rather than potentially scarring minority views that could make people self-conscious and add to the ever-present fears associated with this chronic, debilitating and potentially life-threatening condition.

I just need to calm down a bit first!


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## bev (Jun 14, 2009)

Well i only have one word for this woman and it begins with a 't' and ends in a 't' - but i am too much of a lady to say it! I think she should be struck off from nursing if she has these sort of extremist views. Does she want diabetics to feel 'ashamed' of their condition? Its not something a diabetic CAN forget about so why should they be forced to HIDE it from others when its a life saving requirement to inject? I dont believe in rubbing it in peoples faces so to speak - and i think discretion can be used - BUT who on earth is she to say that the risk of offending someone is more important than administering a life saving injection? I hope she lives to regret her ill-thought out, insulting and down right rude comments - and apologises! What a throughly foul individual - i am just glad i have never had the misfortune to have to deal with such an arrogent self- opinionated excuse for a nurse!

Northerner - poem please!Bev

p.s. sorry for the use of bad language - i wouldnt normally rise to this sort of arrogance - but i am incensed about the stupidity of the woman.


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## katie (Jun 14, 2009)

I honestly think we should hunt her down.


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## Einstein (Jun 14, 2009)

katie said:


> I honestly think we should hunt her down.


 
And do a mass injection forcing her to watch?


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## katie (Jun 14, 2009)

yeah and just generally harass her until we get arrested


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## Einstein (Jun 14, 2009)

katie said:


> yeah and just generally harass her until we get arrested


 
Ok, I might retire from the action a little earlier then


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## katie (Jun 14, 2009)

scaredy cat


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## Einstein (Jun 14, 2009)

katie said:


> scaredy cat


 
Managed to be able to walk in and out of a police station without a representative for this long, don't plan on changing that anytime in the near future.


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## Sugarbum (Jun 14, 2009)

This woman makes my blood boil (thats a moderated sentance!). Luckily she is retired because I would report her to the NMC for misinterpretation of the profession. She should not use the phrase "as a nurse"...when that is not representative of the gross opinion of the practising profession. 

What upsets me is balance allocating more time and space to this, it has exceeded a healthy debate to me. 

I inject wherever the hell I like, especially Birkenhead.


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 14, 2009)

Sugarbum said:


> This woman makes my blood boil (thats a moderated sentance!). Luckily she is retired because I would report her to the NMC for misinterpretation of the profession. She should not use the phrase "as a nurse"...when that is not representative of the gross opinion of the practising profession.
> 
> What upsets me is balance allocating more time and space to this, it has exceeded a healthy debate to me.
> 
> I inject wherever the hell I like, especially Birkenhead.



I think as myself and mike are both in Liverpool it is up to us to do the harrassing of said "nurse" , I would be more than willing he he he .


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## Sugarbum (Jun 14, 2009)

I am due Lantus at 2145, 16 units. Im cranking up the Autopen, armed with my biggest needle and I going to Birkenhead for a rather dramatic "in your face" administration of insulin "as a nurse"!


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## Einstein (Jun 14, 2009)

Sugarbum said:


> I inject wherever the hell I like, especially Birkenhead.


 
Ahhhh I missed something, clearly this woman is mad... look where she is:

'Birkenhead' and in English this translates to 'Birk in the head' 

Clearly she isn't of sound mind, which we all knew. But here is hard evidence of the fact.

Well, we can't go after her, some do good mental health bod would be on out case.

But the magazine is wrong if they publish anything at all to do with this topic again. Well, except to say she's been sectioned 

Oh, and before anyone comes after my blood, many people from Birkenhead are I am sure in possession of all their faculties


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## Sugarbum (Jun 14, 2009)

Einstein said:


> Ahhhh I missed something, clearly this woman is mad... look where she is:
> 
> 'Birkenhead' and in English this translates to 'Birk in the head'
> 
> Clearly she isn't of sound mind, which we all knew. But here is hard evidence of the fact.



Yes, clearly she is! A complete "Birk-in-the-head"! She said if she ever needs to inject herself for her type 2 diabetes she will "hone her technique to invisability"! Oh why didnt I think of that? 

INVISABILITY!!!!


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## Einstein (Jun 14, 2009)

Sugarbum said:


> Yes, clearly she is! A complete "Birk-in-the-head"! She said if she ever needs to inject herself for her type 2 diabetes she will "hone her technique to invisability"! Oh why didnt I think of that?
> 
> INVISABILITY!!!!


 
Would that be temporary or permanent invisibility?

Burnt or buried?


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## aymes (Jun 14, 2009)

Northerner said:


> The nurse who was horrified at people injecting in public has been given even more space in the latest issue of Balance. It seems all of us who object to her attitude are the ones with the attitude problem, and we should stop thinking about ourselves and show more consideration for others. B*t*h! Sorry, I think her attitude stinks! As I said in my recent post about the wedding I attended, I asked if the other guests minded me injecting and they didn't - it would have been very disruptive to have to leave to inject, and I couldn't inject before I was served. I think, in the famous words of Sir Les Patterson, she should go and stick her head up a dead bear's bum...



Woah, is the next issue out? I've not got it yet! What has she said? I'm feeling cross already and I've not read anything yet.


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## katie (Jun 14, 2009)

I love how we are being compared to Heroine addicts too. Yes of course they should inject at the table... if they didnt have to find a vein and were injecting a medicine that stops them from dying 

Wish I had thought of the invisibility thing too, silly me.  I'll ask Harry if I can borrow his cape.


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## Sugarbum (Jun 14, 2009)

AYMES! ITS OUT! It was in my postbox saturday morning so maybe it is in your first post tomorrow.

She is back. Nurse Invisability of Birkenhead (retired of course). And whats worse she is as ignorant as ever and getting full coverage again on her own letters page. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr........

Shout tomorrow if you dont get it, I can scan and email to keep you in the loop!


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## Sugarbum (Jun 14, 2009)

Im tempted to write a comment on the editors blog for the supporting members area that I am furious the time they are dedicating to this........but Im abit of a woss......


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## aymes (Jun 14, 2009)

Thanks, hopefully it'll get here tomorrow.

I've not even read it and I'm already composing my letter... I think we should invite her along to meet all of us, see her try to justify herself..!


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## Munjeeta (Jun 15, 2009)

aymes said:


> Thanks, hopefully it'll get here tomorrow.
> 
> I've not even read it and I'm already composing my letter... I think we should invite her along to meet all of us, see her try to justify herself..!



Yes. Maybe we should invite her out for a meal and all whip out our novopens! Or, maybe for slightly less confrontation, see how many of us she actually notices injecting at the table...


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## Proudspirit (Jun 15, 2009)

I didnt see the letter from the nurse but poem is great 

I don't inject but wouldn't think twice about doing it in public if i needed to. I'm sure that the person in question would prefer not to inject! i did take bg in a restaurant the other week and someone did comment but just curious and its better to ask that be ignorant. 

Julie


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