# worried parent - Suzi Ridley



## Suzi Ridley (Aug 8, 2017)

worriedparent said:


> Hi there don't know where to begin , I am a very worried parent of a 20 year old type 1  son , who is slowly killing himself by not taking insulin and  eating things he shouldn't and always ends up in hospital with dka , his veins have all broke down and at the moment he has had his 4th line in his neck , 3 on one side and 1 on the other , I know by this that he has only another 2 lines that can be put in his neck if they can even get them in , for the last nearly 3 years he has had a regular routine , in which he goes into hospital with dka just about every fortnight , god knows ave tried everything to get to the bottom of why he does it and to try and get him to stop but he won't , am terrified now that her not gonna live til Christmas  and don't know wat ta do  anymore , have spoken to diabetic doctor on several occasions and he has no idea either , all I can do is sit back and watch him die its killing me to watch him suffer all the time , at the moment he has just been discharged from hospital after being in 2 weeks and has pancreitis , he still says he feels really unwell but doc said he was fine to go home and rest with pain killers but I am scared he will end up back in hospital sooner than usual , I am a very strong willed woman but it is hard when it is utr own son dying as we can see no way out of this , everyone's opinion would be much welcome in this case please XXX


Hi I am sorry to hear about your son, I have a daughter that is 25 and suffering with anorexia, not injecting obviously not eating and depression, I have tried contacted Diabetes UK DWED our local diabetes nurses taken her into hospital and begged them to admit her and they have on several occasions but send her home after 2/3 days I am beside myself watching her do this to herself, as she is 25 this seems to be out of my hands, and as much as she has asked for help when she is offered it she tells them everything they want to hear like she's eating 3 meals a day injecting 4 times a day which isn't true, she has been in touch and seen the mental health crisis team who have told her that if she doesn't soon look after herself that she might not be here in a few months, which destroys me. Her arms have broken out in sores so god knows what's happening inside her frail body. I don't know what to do, the consultant has told her that no one has ever died of diabetes unless they mess about with it, I feel torn as I don't want to waste the nurses time as I know she is doing this herself but I cant imagine my life without her.


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## Pumper_Sue (Aug 9, 2017)

Hi @Suzi Ridley and welcome to the forum.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with the devastating consequences of uncontrolled diabetes by your daughter, I can not imagine what you are going through so can only offer you a huge (((((((((((((((((hug))))))))
Thinking of you and your daughters struggle.


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## Suzi Ridley (Aug 9, 2017)

Thank you,


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## Flower (Aug 9, 2017)

Hello @Suzi Ridley and welcome

I'm so sorry to read what a difficult time you and your daughter are having. It is a devastating situation for you both to be in. There is help out there, sadly it is very hard to come by but your daughter needs to be able to tell the medics what she is doing. It wasn't until I told my diabetes consultant what I was doing that he searched for help for me at an eating disorders clinic and very slowly we worked out a plan for me to start eating small amounts and inject the correct amount of insulin. It is a very easy slippery slope to fall down but an enormous sustained struggle to get out of. It is doable, please don't despair.

I was seriously ill and underweight but was convinced I was overweight and saw insulin not as the amazing life saver it is but as the enemy that would cause weight gain. Sadly being in control of our own insulin supply is brutally effective combined with an eating disorder. I used to give all the stock answers of 'I'm fine', 'I just forgot to have an HbA1c done' etc when I was very rapidly destroying myself. Diabetes teams have heard it all before and will want to do everything possible to help your daughter get better and have a healthy future. 

As a 25 year old it has to come from her. Presumably her blood tests are telling a different picture to the answers she is giving at her clinic. Telling someone what I was doing was the very best thing I have done . Diabulimia is a desperately destructive vicious circle, I was well aware of what I was doing but couldn't reason with myself to stop doing it and needed medical input.

I wish you both well.


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## Suzi Ridley (Aug 9, 2017)

Hello, I am so pleased that you got the help and encouragement that you needed. I have read so many different articles and tried so many avenues to get her help and as you say it has got to come from her and she has got to want to get better for herself. At times I feel as if YES we are on the right road then BANG we are back to square one, I just want to wave a magic wand at it to be all ok again and wake from this nightmare. I appreciate you taking the time to reply it gives me hope that you have come out the other side and I wish you all the best for the future


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## HOBIE (Aug 9, 2017)

Hello Suzi. A very warm welcome from me & many of us on the forum. Some people have no idea how hard it can be. You have joined an excellent forum & we all will help if we can.


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## Suzi Ridley (Aug 9, 2017)

Thank you so much, I appreciate all the advise anyone can give me all I want is for my daughter to be back to her happy self and to be healthy again


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## Pumper_Sue (Aug 9, 2017)

@Northerner do you think @Suzi Ridley  post would be better in the main forum where hopefully others will see it and offer some more help and advice?


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## Northerner (Aug 9, 2017)

Pumper_Sue said:


> @Northerner do you think @Suzi Ridley  post would be better in the main forum where hopefully others will see it and offer some more help and advice?


Done


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