# Pregnant but never felt so low in  my life



## emeraldgirl (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi all

I'm a 41 years old and have been a  type 1 diabetic since I was 17. 

I dont know what to do, I just feel at my wits ends.  I have just had donor egg IVF and as a result am 5 weeks pregnant.  Before doing the treatment I had my habc1 done and it was 7.  My diabetic nurse said that it was ok for me to proceed with treatment on this reading.  
But in the last few weeks my bloods just seem to be all over the place, mainly on the high side. e.g I go to be at night and they are under 7 but when I wake up they are over 11.  I saw my diabetic nurse yesterday and she said that it s possible that my bloods are falling during the night and then rising up again to compensate.  She suggested drinking a glass of milk before I go to bed, as it would keep my bloods even,  and then testing at 2am, which I did but my blood reading was 12.8.  I'm just at my wits ends as I dont know what to do, as I feel I'm just damaging my baby with these high readings.  During the day I get some normal readings but then also have readings which are around the 8-9 mark.  

I have been pregnant twice in the past,through IVf but with my own eggs,  but at 10 week scan on both occasions no heartbeat was found. In my own mind I have always blamed the diabetes for this. Although after my 2nd loss, my consultant sent the foetus off for testing and it was found to have a chromosome abnormality called Trisomy 15, which they say is due to old eggs.  Hence why we moved to donor eggs, which I thought would be the answer to all our prayers but now I just feel I'm causing my baby too much damage.  I feel like crying and I dont want to burden my husband as he is so supportive and I dont want to bring him down to how I'm feeling. 

I'm back to my diabetic clinic next monday. Can anyone offer me some advice.  Sorry to be so down. I'm usually such a positive happy person, but this morning have woken up feeling like I've never felt before in my life. 

Dee xx


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## rachelha (Mar 2, 2010)

Dee

would it be possible for you to borrow a CGMS for a few days so you can see what your blood sugars are doing?   When are you getting your first scan?

I think you should tell your husband how you are feeling, you need all the support you can get, and he has probably guessed already that you are not feeling good (unless you are an excellent actress).

I am currently 12 weeks pregnant and have also been feeling incredibly down particularly about my blood sugar control. I have been struggling to keep my levels within the recommended guidelines and despite my clinic trying to reassure me that I am doing the best I can I am still worried this will not be good enough.  My baby was also very much wanted and planned for, I can not believe that I have been feeling so low when I should be over the moon, I guess are hormones are all over the place too which does not help anything at all.

Regarding the blood sugars over night, I was also waking up high every morning due to the dawn phenomenon.  I now have an alarm set for 6am when I give myself an extra unit of humalog which keeps my levels from rising before breakfast.  It is a complete pain in the neck but worth it if it keeps my levels steadier.   If you can not get a CGMS would it be worth you checking your level about an hour and a half before you normally have breakfast to see if your levels are rising during this period?   Just a suggestion, you need to talk this over with your clinic.  

Do you have a DSN you can contact before you go in on Monday?

You don't need to apologise at all for being down - that is what this forum is for, supporting people through the rough times, as well as sharing in their good news.

Feel free to PM if you want about anything

Rachel


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## emeraldgirl (Mar 2, 2010)

rachelha said:


> Dee
> 
> would it be possible for you to borrow a CGMS for a few days so you can see what your blood sugars are doing?   When are you getting your first scan?
> 
> ...



Hi Rachel

Thank you so much for replying. 

I feel like I am not alone.  I have voiced my concerns to my husband and he has told me not to be so hard on myself as I'm doing the best I can.  If my bloods were constantly high then he said he'd be worried. The ones during the night really concern me.  To be quite honest this morning when I arrived in work I just felt so bad about it all, I have never felt like that before.  I'm wondering if my hormones are starting to kick in a bit.  

I will tell my husband tonight about this, I know he'll reassure me again, he is very good.  But I just felt I needed to share my feelings with someone who really understands and who's been through it.  I just feel I'll never have a live pregnancy.  I had a Blood glucose monitor on for about 5 days in January, about 3 weeks before I started my treatment and it showed that my bloods dipped in the night, but they didn't really advise how to solve them.  the nurse suggested yesterday having a glass of milk before bedtime last night but that only made my bloods go high for the 2am reading to 12.8. I think tonight I will up my lantus by another unit, and see if that helps. Also your suggestion of an extra unit in the morning  is good.  I usually get up around 6:15 anyway but dont have my breakfast until I get to work around 8:30. 

My first scan is on 20th March, when I'll be 7wks 5days. its a private scan.   Should my diabetic team offer me any earlier scans?

Thanks for your advice and comfort, you have helped me a lot. 

Dee xx


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## rachelha (Mar 2, 2010)

Hello again

I got an early scan at 8ish weeks through the NHS but I know Chrissie, another pregnant T1 lady on here, who is in Cambridge is having to wait until the normal 12 weeks scan.  I think it very much depends on the health care trust where you are.  

My husband says exactly the same thing - that I am too hard on myself.  It is not him that has to deal with the constant worry and guilt though.  

I asked my clinic what they mean when they say that prolonged high levels will affect the baby as my levels tend to sit at about 12 after my lunch and stay that way for a few hours before dropping back to where they should be before dinner.  They reassured me that my prolonged they mean high for days not just hours, I keep trying to remember this but it is hard.  

Rx


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## emeraldgirl (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Rachel

I know what you mean.  My husband is very understanding but it is us that have to deal with the constant worry and guilt.  It is somewhat reassuring to know what your clinic means by prolonged highs.  I do worry if I have been high for a few hours or overnight, so their comment does reassure me a bit. 
Wish I could get some more support from my clinic.  Will have to be a bit more pushy next Monday I think.  Will pm you and let you know how I get on if that's ok.  Hopefully I will find out some useful info that might help us both.

Have you any children.  How long have you been diabetic. 

Dee xx


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## Chrissie (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Dee

I'm 11 weeks pregnant & i'm also finding that my blood sugars are all over the place!! I go into a mad panic if i'm in double figures (although this doesn't happen too often & comes down quickly with correction dose) My Blood sugars just seem to be doing strange things! & i keep beating myself up about what it is doing to the baby.

My team have been really supportive & i have to email them a spreadsheet of my levels etc daily & they make alterations as needed (which is sometimes daily!) although it is good it does also make me feel like i'm just not doing things right or good enough!! I have been told to test minimum of hourly during the day & at least once overnight, but they prefer 2 tests overnight. I was told that occassional high levels are ok if they are corrected & come down within a few hours they won't cause any damage it is high sugars for longer periods (days not hours) that can be dangerous. I also had high readings overnight/early morning & my basal rate was adjusted.

I've got antenatal diabetes clinic this afternoon so i'll see what they say then. I'm not getting a scan till next week so i'm on tenderhooks till then & i don't think i'll believe that i really am pregnant until i see it for myself only 7 more days to wait.

We all need to have a little moan sometimes & get our worries off our chest! & these hormones don't help things either!
Take care & good luck
Chrissie


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## emeraldgirl (Mar 2, 2010)

Thank you so much Chrissie and Rachel, you really dont know how much you've helped ease my mind.   I have been beating myself up about every high reading.  I know stress and worry definitely wont help my baby either.  It is very reassuring to know that it is prolonged high readings of days, rather than hours that cause the damage.  I felt so low this morning, I know the hormones dont help. 

So I can go home to my husband tonight, a slighly less demented woman.

Chrissie, hope your scan goes well next week.  i will say a prayer for you that all is ok.

I'll keep in touch. 

Dee xx


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## Chrissie (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Dee

Glad we were able to help a little bit! I know i've found it really reassuring coming on here & reading what others are doing & being able to ask questions it makes a difference talking to other people in the same situation who really do understand!! Diabetes tends to be a big stick for me to beat myself with sometimes!
If you've got any more questions don't hessitate to ask you can always pm me aswell if you want
I'll keep you posted with how it all goes next week fingers crossed its all ok
Chrissie x


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## Twitchy (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Ladies!  Hopefully everyone is feeling a bit less stressed by now, but just in case... if it's any encouragement, this is my second pregnancy - I've had T1 since 11 months old, my first pregnancy was when i was 28 (the end result is a lovely feisty toodler now!) and I am currently 35 weeks pregnant.  In both pregnancies it felt like a constant battle to maintain some kind of control, with swinging levels, and what constantly felt like moving goal posts in terms of needing to change my doses all the time!  In fact, I have not met another diabetic who has had what you could call an "easy time" in pregnancy - which I hope offers some peverse encouragement (as it were!), in that what we're all experiencing is, I think in fact quite normal!  It doesn't necessarily mean we'll have a bad outcome.   My understanding is that it is sustained high sugar levels & in particular ketones which cause the damage.  So as long as you are watching things & responding accordingly, you're doing ok!  There is quite a good Diabetes UK publication (imaginatively titled something like"pregnancy & diabetes!") which gives a lot more info & I would recommend.

Anyway, this pregnancy especially we had a nightmare time in the early days with crazy sugar level swings, even ketones, but so far, so good... more recently the dawn phenomenon kicked in, meaning I've had to set my alarm to go off at 4 - 4.30am, when I have been needing an extra 4 units of insulin to ensure the levels don't peak above 8mmol, this extra dose had meant that by the time I get up at 6-7 ish they were nearer 6-7mmol.  The last few days however, things have changed again...just to keep me on my toes!  

Anyway, hope everyone's feeling alright...

Twitchy x


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## emeraldgirl (Mar 3, 2010)

Hi Twitchy

Thanks so much for your post.  Your insight does offer a lot of encouragement. It it so helpful, and to read what you and Rachel and Chrissie are going through has really helped me a lot.  I really dont feel so alone anymore.  

I had never been on this site before until yesterday, but yesterday morning I just felt so down and needed advice from somewhere.  I have now found a wide amount of information on this site, not just in relation in pregnancy and diabetes, but all aspects of diabetes.  It is fantastic, dont know how I never found it before.  Its a godsend. 

Not long to go for you now, you must be so excited.

Dee xx


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## rachelha (Mar 4, 2010)

Hi - I was just wondering how you have been feeling today?  Did you speak to your OH at all?


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## emeraldgirl (Mar 8, 2010)

Hi all

Haven't been able to log on since Wed of last week for some strange reason.  Glad to say my blood readings have improved a bit.  As per advice, have taken a bit extra just after I do my first blood reading at 6am, so by the time I get to work and have my breakfast at 8:30, its around the same or gone down a little bit, instead of going up like it used to. I have an appointment with my diabetic clinic at 3:30, so hopefully they're pleased.  I do feel a lot better. thanks for all the good advice.

How are you all today. how have you managed in the last week. 

Dee xx


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## Catwoman76 (Mar 30, 2010)

emeraldgirl said:


> Hi all
> 
> I'm a 41 years old and have been a  type 1 diabetic since I was 17.
> 
> ...


HI Emmeraldgirl I'm sure a lot of pregant ladies have felt the way you are feeling. But there is good news out there, i had my daughter 9 years ago at the ripe old age of 42. I was scared and thought what the hell i am doing, this is a big risk i'm taking. At the start of the pregnancy i had more insulin, in the middle normal intake, about 7 months hardly any insulin eg 2 units at breakfast. Even though she had to be delivered at 33 wks, it had nothing to do with the diabetes.The hospital, well, i found the consultant types, a bit up their own backsides(they think they know best)
I have a lovely chatty! and funny daughter and i wouldn't of done it any other way. Be positive, a big cuddle to you from me. Sheenax


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## rachelha (Mar 30, 2010)

HI Dee

I was just wondering how you are getting on?  Have you had any scans yet?  Hope all is going well with you and bean


Rx


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## emeraldgirl (Mar 31, 2010)

Hi Rachrl

So far so good with me.  I had my first scan on 20th March and they confirmed all was well and little bub was correct size and exactly where it should be positioned.  My next is tomorrow, I will be 9wks3 but am a bit worried about this one.  As I've had 2 miscarriages in the past and it was always between 9-10 weeks.  But on the positive side, I still feel ill for a lot of the day and very tired, so I'm taking them as good signs.  I attend the diabetic clinic every 2 weeks and they are very pleased with my blood readings and say my control is very good, so thats one less worry at the moment. they found that my throyid function was sligtly irregular so have put me a low dose of medication for that.  So hopefully things will keep going in a positve vein for me.

How are you. 

Dee x


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## Emmal31 (Mar 31, 2010)

Hi Dee,

I know I'm late to this thread (I've only just seen it) I just wanted to reassure you really about high levels. I've got a 2 month old daughter Jessica who weighed 8'10 when she was born. I had a lot of high's a few in the 20's and some of the high's I had were sustained one's over a couple of days where I was desperately trying to get my levels down with correction doses I had traces of ketones as well. When jessica was born she had problems with her sugar levels for a couple of days but apart from that she didn't have any other problems because of my high's (mainly during the later stages of my pregnancy). It's easy for me to say now but the odd high you should try not to worry about. 

There's lots of threads by me on this pregnancy section about all sorts of issues over the whole 9 months which you may find useful to read. Might also put your mind at rest a little. Good luck with your scan tomorrow let us know how it goes. 

Emma x


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## rachelha (Mar 31, 2010)

Hi Dee - glad the first scan went well.  Really hope all is well, that you are still feeling ill must be a good sign.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow. 

Rx


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## carriek (Apr 1, 2010)

was diagnosed very late in pregnancy (32 weeks) and have no idea how long or high my BG were before diagnosis. When i first saw the doctor my readings were in the 20s and i managed to get them down to 10s in the last 4 weeks. At  26 weeks ended up in hospital with what they now think was DKA but at the time was told hormonal headache brought on by pregnancy. I really did panic  abou what all that was doing to the baby but she was fine. She was 4 weeks early and spent 8 days in special care (low BG and a bit of trouble feeding) but has been fine ever since. I know its easier said than done but try not to worry - these little babies are a lot more resilient than we think.


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## getcarter76 (Apr 26, 2010)

Hi Dee,

I have just seen this thread and am new to the site. I wished this site was around when i found out i was pregnant nearly 5 years ago now. A little rant or two would have been in order for me back then! 

Congratulations with your pregnancy. I'm a T1 diabetic and have a beautiful daughter (who keeps me on my toes)! My hubby and I are now trying for baby number 2 but it has taken me this long (4 years) to actually think about having baby number 2 due to my previous experience.

Regarding your bms, because insulin is also a hormone it does play havoc with your blood sugar levels. I think there are some really reasurring posts about your worries and I remember waking up with a bm of 18 in the first trimester! I also found my sugar levels were high in the begining but then dropping after the first four months. Its easy to say don't worry i know and i remember my poor fingers being pricked so often as I was petrified of any damage i would be doing to my baby.

All you can do is watch your levels as best you can and try not to worry yourself too much about stabilising your bms which i am sure you will find has happened to all of us diabetic ladies somewhere along the way.

Good luck with everything xx


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## emeraldgirl (Apr 27, 2010)

Hi all 

Get Carter, thanks very much for your post, it really does give me such a lift to hear from diabetics who have had sucessful pregnancies. glad to hear you're trying for number 2, I really wish you all the good luck in the world.  Well my blood sugars have been behaving themselves very well lately, only a couple of random highs here and there.  My HBa1c has even gone down to 6.2I dont know what I would do without this board, its fantastic, wish I had discovered it years ago.  

We had our nuchal scan yesterday at 13weeks and all appears to be well. The only thing was that they said the baby is slighly on the small side, but is still within their guidelines size wise, but I am still a bit worried.  Does anyone know is this common, its just something else to worry about.  I'm hoping baby will take a growth spurt before the next scan. I had thought that due to the fact that I'm a diabetic that it would have been more on the large size.  Any reassurances would be appreciated. 

Hope everyone else is doing ok. 

Dee xx


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## rachelha (Apr 27, 2010)

Dee - really glad to hear all is going well!   

I dont know much about the size of babies - did the docs say it was anything to be concerned about?  

I have my cardiac scan next week.  I think after that one I may finally believe I have managed to produce a healthy baby, that is going to make it.


Rx


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## emeraldgirl (Apr 27, 2010)

rachelha said:


> Dee - really glad to hear all is going well!
> 
> I dont know much about the size of babies - did the docs say it was anything to be concerned about?
> 
> ...



Hi Rachel

the doc said it was slightly small but still within the guidelines they would be looking for.  So I know i shouldn't worry, but I think its just par for the course.  Baby was on its head and wriggling around like mad and kicking its legs, very active, and they did have a lot of trouble trying to get its measurements.  It was quite funny as doc prodded my tum a few times and got the baby to turn back the right way up, but then about a minute or so later it went back on its head.  Doc said it was a stubborn baby, with that I gave my husband a look, as I knew what was going to come out of his mouth, but the doc beat him to it, and said just like its mother. cheeky. 
They said everything else was perfect, as it should be.  I really thought being diabetic it would be more on the larger side if anything, strange really. 

Dee xx


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## getcarter76 (Apr 27, 2010)

Hi Dee,
I know, like there isn't enough to worry about!
I had a really ickle baby as  being diabetic kept being told i would have a biggun.

I am not particularly small or petite and when we looked at the genetics in the family on both sides there wasn't anything to write home about.

I also remember when i asked at about 34 weeks how big my baby was (as i felt it being drummed into me that i would naturally have a big baby) and the midwife felt my bump saying you have a good 8/9lb baby in there.  i felt!

When my daughter was born she was 4lb 12 which dropped to 4lb 3oz and was told what a rarity this was. My Diabetic Nurse came to visit me and said that if you keep your blood sugar under tight control if not lower than the norm that some diabetics do have smaller babies. 

I don't think any two pregnancies are the same whatever circumstance you are in. The hospital I am sure, will keep a beady eye on you no matter what. Just keep doing what you are doing and I am sure you are doing just fine. 
xx


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## emeraldgirl (Apr 27, 2010)

Hi Get Carter

Thanks again for the reasurances, I suppose I should get it out of my head that diabetics naturally have big babies as its obviously not the case.  And my control has been good since i got over my hiccups in the initial stages, so I'll stop fretting and enjoy it now that I've got past the 12 week stage. You have put my mind at rest.

How are your blood sugar levels and overall control now that you are trying again.  

Dee xx


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## getcarter76 (Apr 27, 2010)

Hi Dee,
I understand how hard it is to get it out your head that us diabetic ladies have big babies being that is all that is written and talked about. Someone else commented that the Docs think they know best and whilst i respect medical opinion, you know yourself better than anyone else does.
You must be so made up that the '12 weeks' is passed i know that is the longest 3 months ever. 
I find i have good days and bad with my sugar levels but have learnt thats its near enough impossible to be perfect all the time. I have been to the Docs but they don't seem particularly bothered about me so i will just keep my fingers crossed that nature will take its course. 
Sounds like you are doing great and I know how hard a diabetic pregnancy can be at times. The time will soon pass though so enjoy every moment you can. 
Bernie xx


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