# Parent of Teenager in need of Help!!



## Sharron - Cornwall (Aug 26, 2012)

Hello, 
I'm new to this site, my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 aged 10 she is now 16.  Her control is terrible (has been for about 2 yrs) and she has just come out of hospital after ketosis.

Are there any parents there who have been through this stage, she wont test and forgets her insulin.  If I ask her to do a test/insulin she sometimes lies or just wont do it, and often shes with friends or I'm at work so I'm not aware of whats going on.  When I spend my evenings running her to dr.s or at hospital until 2am and have to work the next day, Im just getting angry. 

What do I do?  Any GOOD advice - please.


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## Steff (Aug 26, 2012)

Sharron - Cornwall said:


> Hello,
> I'm new to this site, my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 aged 10 she is now 16.  Her control is terrible (has been for about 2 yrs) and she has just come out of hospital after ketosis.
> 
> Are there any parents there who have been through this stage, she wont test and forgets her insulin.  If I ask her to do a test/insulin she sometimes lies or just wont do it, and often shes with friends or I'm at work so I'm not aware of whats going on.  When I spend my evenings running her to dr.s or at hospital until 2am and have to work the next day, Im just getting angry.
> ...



Hi Sharron,
A warm welcome to the forum from me i have no first hand expereince on this but I hope Tina63 does not mind me mentioning her as she has had some issues with her son that sound remarklby like what your going through at the minute so hopefully she will be on soon as well as others to help you out


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## Northerner (Aug 26, 2012)

Hi Sharron, welcome to the forum  I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter's rebellion, it is a very difficult age for her to be diagnosed at with so many other pressures on her to be like her friends. Has her health care team provided any help at all - have you discussed the problems with her DSN? Does she know any other girls her age with Type 1? I would suggest joining the email list at Children With Diabetes UK - there are hundreds of UK parents there with a great deal of experience and I am sure many of them will have endured similar worries. 

I'm not a parent and was diagnosed in my late 40s so can't offer any personal advice, but we have many parents who are members here who can hopefully help out.


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## Flutterby (Aug 26, 2012)

Hi Sharron - like the others I can't really say a lot as I don't have any children but I was diagnosed at age 11 and found it very hard.  Unfortunately there was no testing available in the 1970's apart from the inaccurate urine tests and there was not much in the way of support for anyone of whatever age.  I can empathise with your anger as I too feel frustrated when I hear of young people putting their health at risk when so much is available now to help and encourage.  I do feel for you.  I am sure that there will be parents on here better able to help when they next come online but in the meantime if it is any reassurance my control was awful in my teenage years (through no fault of my own) and I had several episodes of ketoacidosis, yet I am still here!  

I would also suggest that like you say this is a "stage" she is going through as I remember not wanting anything to do with diabetes when younger, I just let mum sort it out.  It must be a huge worry to you and I do hope things soon improve.  Best wishes, Karen.


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## Pumper_Sue (Aug 26, 2012)

Sharron - Cornwall said:


> Hello,
> I'm new to this site, my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 aged 10 she is now 16.  Her control is terrible (has been for about 2 yrs) and she has just come out of hospital after ketosis.
> 
> Are there any parents there who have been through this stage, she wont test and forgets her insulin.  If I ask her to do a test/insulin she sometimes lies or just wont do it, and often shes with friends or I'm at work so I'm not aware of whats going on.  When I spend my evenings running her to dr.s or at hospital until 2am and have to work the next day, Im just getting angry.
> ...



Hi Sharron,
              sorry to hear you have a non complient teenager. I know it doesn't help you now but rest assured many teenagers go through this stage, she will come out the other end though and stronger person. So hang in there.

Which hospital is your daughters care under, Treliske or Derriford?
Perhaps have words with her consultant and DSN, infact it might be better to write to them both cc. This way everyones singing from the same sheet.
Another option is to tell your daughter point blank she is being selfish as you can not be expected to work all hours of the day and then run around half the night for her. 
2 AM hospital? leave the toad there. She can wait until the next day to be picked up would be my attitude. 
Going to be hard but just don't run around after her. Signs of DKA call an ambulance for her, don't visit or go with her.


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## Tina63 (Aug 26, 2012)

Hi Sharron

You have my sympathy.  I am in a similar position, though fortunately for me not quite so bad as my boy has never yet had ketoacidosis, though goodness knows why not.  My son was diagnosed 20 months ago just days before his 16th  birthday.  He went along with things fine for the first 6 months and his HbA1c fell to 6.1 from a starting point of 15.8.  I thought we had cracked it.  It seemed pretty straightforward.  Then gradually things went downhill.  First of all he started skipping injections due to exams, then stopped testing, then as his excuses seemed to be accepted by his team, he skipped more and more injections and testing almost completely ceased.

By Christmas things were getting really dire, his HbA1c was over 12, and his team did try various different approaches.  They changed his insulin from rapid acting to mixed insulin to help him over his reluctance to inject at school, but still he 'forgot' to inject in the evenings, and testing really has been almost non-existent for months now.  Since then his HbA1c continues to hover in the 11-12.5 range, where as it was 6.1 last summer.

I'm afraid I have no answers for you, I can only empathise.  My son still 'forgets' his Lantus most bedtimes, his Novorapid most evenings and only seems to 'remember' his M3 in the mornings.  It isn't unusual for him to go a full 48 hours with no insulin on board whatsoever, but for some bizarre reason it really doesn't seem to affect him.  Well not so that I can see anyway.

Does your daughter attend a child or adult clinic?  I only ask because my son changed to the transition/adult team this last week and he has come out of it much more positively.  He said how nice it was to be talked to as an adult (and he wouldn't normally talk so readily about what had gone on in there) and feels he has a new DSN he can relate to so much better.  She was nearer his age and she has taken his mobile number and is going to be in contact with him regularly by the sound of it.

What sort of relationship do you have with your daughters team?  Are they easily accessible?  Does your daughter talk to you at all about her diabetes?  My son wouldn't talk at all the past few months.  Any time I mentioned _anything_ to do with his diabetes he would go off on one at me.  No-one else in the family would try talking to him.   I am just now starting to see glimmers of hope that maybe he is starting to take tiny steps to coming out the other side of it (fingers crossed).  

It is so hard as a mum though.  I had my husband and other male members of the family telling me to back off and let him get on with it and let him accept the consequences for his actions later on, but that would break my heart if I didn't feel I had done all I could to avoid things happening to him.  I did back off very seriously for some months.  Things certainly didn't improve one bit, but I suppose our relationship was a little easier.  As I say, just very recently he has started talking a little and he did feel his new team are 'better'.  

I really am not able to advise you what to do. I do sneak a look at my son's pens most days and note the levels down.  He has no idea I do that but it gives me peace of mind that I at least know what's going on.  He took 100% control from day one so we never had much involvement with the actual practical side of things and he is very private and never used to discuss it with anyone.  He has very recently admitted he has told a couple of people at work, so I see that as a little more acceptance on his part too.  All I wait for now though it proper conformity.  

How often is your daughter seen at clinic, and what insulins is she on?  Have they ever tried changing hers?  Though I am not really convinced about the M3 mixed insulin, at least if he has that I know it covers him for 8 hours of the day, which is better than just a relatively small dose of novorapid with breakfast then skipping all the rest of it that day.

I actually think, and it's only my opinion, that my son is actually pretty terrified of hypos and his reluctance to get his levels down too much is that he hates them so much he will go out of his way to avoid them.  I have mentioned that to his old DSN on a couple of occasions but I have no idea whether they have discussed that with him as he goes into all his consultations on his own.

One more quick thought, is she doing it to lose weight?  My son lost 7kg over the past 8 weeks.  His team seemed pleased with that (he is a big lad) but didn't seem bothered that his HbA1c is going up and his weight is going down.  To me that stinks of poor control.  He is actually thrilled to be losing weight whilst seemingly not modifying his eating.

It is so hard being on this side of the fence and feeling powerless to change anything.  All I can say is that you are not alone, so do keep on posting on here, if only to vent your feelings.  I do hope things improve for you really soon.

Tina


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## Pattidevans (Aug 27, 2012)

Sharron

No advice on how to sort a teenager I am afraid, but it is a difficult area to live in.  If you live in West Cornwall I would suggest you ask for him to be referred to Dr Creely who is brilliant... and also operates out of Treliske.  Otherwise try to get him seen at the main diabetes clinic in Treliske, the main DSN there is very good.  The care west of that can be iffy.


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## Pumper_Sue (Aug 27, 2012)

Pattidevans said:


> Sharron
> 
> No advice on how to sort a teenager I am afraid, but it is a difficult area to live in.  If you live in West Cornwall I would suggest you ask for him to be referred to Dr Creely who is brilliant... and also operates out of Treliske.  Otherwise try to get him seen at the main diabetes clinic in Treliske, the main DSN there is very good.  The care west of that can be iffy.



Not to sure Patti, but at 16 the young lady would I would have thought still be under the childrens service. So Dr Creely wouldn't be available to her.


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## Twitchy (Aug 27, 2012)

Difficult one. I was already diabetic when I hit my teens, & at that stage mum was dying of cancer so in a way I kind of felt I didn't have the 'luxury' of teen rebellion - there was too much hitting the fan already. I think the bottom line was I didn't think dad would cope. Later on I didn't want my diabetes to hold md back, so I more or less took the decision it was damn well going to work for me, not unduly hamper me. 

I don't know what your relationship with your daughter is like, but could you sit down & have a heart to heart with her? Explain the impact of her behaviour on you, it's likely ultimate consequences (poss losing your job) & what that will mean in return for Her? (No cash, luxury stuff, nice things etc etc)?? Alternatively is there a way of engaging her by making compliance in her interests? (ie is she into outdoors stuff? - ie I can't let you do X til I know you're being safe & responsible etc? Or anything like that I guess? (want driving lessons next year? Prove you can control diabetes before trying to control a car then!)  

I guess all of this will depend on how you guys relate & respond to each other. If you are concerned that she's abusing her insulin regime to lose weight though I'd get in touch with DWED (see Northerner's signature line!) - diabetics with eating disorders. That's a road you really don't want to go far along. 

All the best, I really feel for both of you. Xxx


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## Pumper_Sue (Aug 27, 2012)

I remember the very quick end to my rebellion 
I wanted to go on a school trip with my school mates. Mum gave me a look of absolute amazement..... Then dropped the bomb shell.


No you can not go, you are nothing but a baby and I can not trust you to carb count and do your injections without having to be told all the time.

A compromise was made which was the trip was 6 weeks away and I had to show in that 6 weeks I had grown up enough to look after myself. I was also told that if I stepped out of line during the week away then it was the last trip I went on.

I was never non compliant regarding injections all through my diabetes life just had to be prodded a lot


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## Estellaa (Aug 27, 2012)

Hey sorry to hear about everything going on right now, i'm 18 and have had diabetes for 11years, i may be able to offer her some advice if you'd like? or yourself some advice? more than willing to help


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## Caroline (Aug 27, 2012)

I can't offer any advice, but welcome to the forum, there have been lots of replies and ideas, so hopefully something will work.

Once children reach the teenage years they are starting to get grown up and finding their feet and not testing or taking their medication in what ever form is them trying to be independent and a form of rebellion. Although my grown up son is not diabetic, he went through the rebelious stage of finding his feet and making his mark. He grew up and can be quite sensible now, so there is hope. It is natural to worry about our children and their health, but things do improve in time.


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## ChelC (Aug 29, 2012)

Hi Sharron, my name is Chelsea im sixteen and have just been diagonsed with type one diabetes, i just wanted to say i sort of know what your daughter might be going through, being a teenager myself you feel like saying to everyone "why me?" all i needed was for someone to understand what it is like to have diabetes maybe thats all she needs someone to talk to, im sure you would do anything for your daughter like every parent would just let her know your there to talk i guess  i hope this helps


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## In My Stride (Aug 29, 2012)

Hi Sharron - again not a parent, but i have had my fair share of rebellions against my diabetes.
Can't imagine what it's like for you, but i can empathise with your daughter.
Is she aware of the damage she's doing to herself? During my last rebellion my doctor said something which really hit home, she asked me how i'd feel if by the time there was a cure for diabetes i'd looked after myself that poorly that id lost my eyesight, or had a foot amputated. I'd be losing one disability only to be stuck with another.  It's a little blunt, some may even say tactless. But it really struck a chord with me that i wanted to be in perfect condition for if and when the time comes for a cure. Maybe it'll do the same for her?
Emma


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## Phil65 (Aug 29, 2012)

Pumper_Sue said:


> I remember the very quick end to my rebellion
> I wanted to go on a school trip with my school mates. Mum gave me a look of absolute amazement..... Then dropped the bomb shell.
> 
> 
> ...




....if there was a 'like' button I would have hit it reading this post Sue......however what better incentive than showing pictures of amputations, blindness etc as a result of poor control? Harsh, ruthless... but maybe effective?


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## Northerner (Aug 29, 2012)

Phil65 said:


> ....if there was a 'like' button I would have hit it reading this post Sue......however what better incentive than showing pictures of amputations, blindness etc as a result of poor control? Harsh, ruthless... but maybe effective?



I'm not sure - do/did such things ever work to stop people smoking or drinking? Human beings seem to have such a strong propensity to believe it will never happen to them


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## Pumper_Sue (Aug 29, 2012)

Phil65 said:


> ....if there was a 'like' button I would have hit it reading this post Sue......however what better incentive than showing pictures of amputations, blindness etc as a result of poor control? Harsh, ruthless... but maybe effective?



Thanks Phil, the incentive did the trick for me, even though I didn't realise it was an insentive at the time. I was furious because I had been called a baby, but being shown amputations and being told this will happen to you, would have the opposit effect on me.
I would have said why bother it's going to happen anyway?
Obviously it hasn't happened to me as 47 yrs later I am complication free 

My Mum always had the attitude you help yourself and we (Mum and Dad) would help as much as we can.


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## Marc (Sep 15, 2012)

Phil65 said:


> ....if there was a 'like' button I would have hit it reading this post Sue......however what better incentive than showing pictures of amputations, blindness etc as a result of poor control? Harsh, ruthless... but maybe effective?



Ok it has been 13 years since I was a teenager but rebelious till I was 29. When you are a teenager you feel. 'yeah but that wont happen to me.' The only thing that worked for me was being diagnosed with retinopathy and the opthalmolgist advising I was very close to needing lazer surgory. Now very well controlled HbA1c of 6.4 practice DSN says best she's seen. 

Marc


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## Adrienne (Sep 15, 2012)

Hiya

Oh dear this is always so sad when I hear stories like this.  I just feel for these children, I really do.

There are other parents going through this as well (as Tina has said) and you can find lots on the email groups for CWD.   There is a teenage group you can join or the main mailing list. Send an email and you will get lots of answers, some will be helpful, some not so maybe.  www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org all the email groups are on there.  

On facebook there is a parents of t1 teens group as well.  Happy if you want to friend me (Adrienne Burton) and I'll join you up to it if you want.


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## Chrissy232 (Sep 30, 2012)

*Hope this helps*

Hello there,
I've just joined this forum because I saw your post and it reminded me so much of me and wanted to offer some possible advice on your situation with your daughter.
I've had Diabetes since August 1982 and Iwas born in April 1981 so I've had Diabetes now for 30 years.
It was quite difficult growing up being normally the only Diabetic people knew.
At primary school i was the only person out of about 5 - 600 pupils and staff in the school and not alot was known in those days i got alot of special treatment which in turn segregated me from my friends and other children, making me feel freakish.
In secondary school  it was alot easier as it was more common, there was at least one other Diabetic in my year and I did not feel segregated from my friends as I was able to make better decisions on my control without as much support, however it was there if needed.
When I was 16, exactly the same age as your daughter, I forgot one of my injections in the evening (I take two a day, morning and evening).
I didn't suffer from this forgetting how I used when I was younger,because i felt ok (normal for a change) so i didn't think it would be a major problem not doing that one so it went on for about 6 months. I was lieing to the doctors for a number of years not checking my blood sugars somewhat getting away with it, which worried my mum as you are, but I'm sure they saw through me.
The reason I'm telling you this is so you can maybe relate to how your daughter might be feeling.
Also if you explain the next bit to your daughter she may realise what she may miss out on if she doesn't start looking after herself.
When you're 16 the next major milestone in anybodies life is learning how to drive.
I applied for my provisional licence just before reaching 17 but it was refused because i'd had two hospitalisations within a matter of months coming out of one on my 17th birthday but when they checked my records it obviously showed up because they're not quick at the DVLA, I then had to wait for a further two years before i received it and that was before learning passing etc. I cried many tears over it thankfully now I have my licence because i stopped bending the rules.
It didn't stop at that though I fell pregnant and unfortunately lost a baby because i didn't check my sugar level as regular as i should I crashed my car after having a hypo at 22 weeks which was difficult. It was only then it hit home what everyone had been saying.
It is very hard dealing with Diabetes when all you want is to be like anyone else, that your daughter is, she just doesn't realise it yet growing up is bad enough for any teenager without the added complication of Diabetes.
I'm a mum now of a 6 year old that thankfully doesn't have Diabetes but can understand how hard it must've been for my mum. 
Try not to be angry with your daughter as hard as it may be she will come good in the end it may just take time just be supportive and remind her of things she may miss out on if she doesn't change her ways.
I learnt unfortunately the hard way.
Sorry if it's a bit long winded


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## Twitchy (Sep 30, 2012)

Hi Chrissie, 

I hope this doesn't sound patronising, but what a brave & honest post - thank-you for being so open about the consequences of your decisions. I was diagnosed at 11 months old (in '79, so similar to you!) and could totally relate to your experience of being 'the freaky child' in primary school...I'm hoping things are more subtle / inclusive these days - I guess not having to eat snacks am/pm in front of the rest of the class would help! (good ole 2 jabs eh?! ).

Anyway, rambling...just wanted to say hi & thanks - I hope Sharron's daughter can take good inspiration from your experience. Xx


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## StephenM (Sep 30, 2012)

Hi,

I did not find primary school to bad. It was a small school with only one class per year and I now realise far more diabetics that average (four in 150 kids). When I went to senior school I did feel a freak as I was the only diabetic in 600+ kids. It was quite grim at times as the staff did not understand either ? the games master thought I ate extra before because I was a greedy bar steward! He was an ex-army moron! Fortunately I left at 16 to go to a College of FE as they did the A level options I wanted to do. I never told anyone about my diabetes (not a clever thing in retrospect). I got a motorcycle whilst I was there. The licence was easy as the then BDA me to reply ?No but I am a diabetic on insulin? to one of the heath questions. Insurance was trickier but that did make me want to have reasonable control of my diabetes as the bike gave me freedom! Also the amputees and those with serious eye problems at the clinic were scary. I did mention it when I went to university but in general it was not too much of a problem. Yes there were student parties but in general the students and staff seemed to understand much more than they had when I was at school. A bit of a ramble really but what I wanted to say in summary is the teenage years are hard but the desire to drive and the fear of complications are great motivators!

Stephen


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## Tina63 (Sep 30, 2012)

I think my son now realises a licence won't be easy to come by with his non-compliance, so has now said he is in no hurry to apply for a licence.  He keeps flirting with the idea as more and more of his social circle are passing their tests, but then as they seem happy to come and pick him up, he doesn't feel the need.  Shame really, as I had hoped that would be the big swayer for him.


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## Chrissy232 (Oct 1, 2012)

Hi Twitchy
No your comment is not at all patronising if anything good to hear that people can relate to my experiences.
I just hope that Sharron's daughter can relate to our experiences and change her ways before it's too late.
I've had plenty of arguments with doctors trying to tell them that I don't want to be controlled by this condition and when they say i need to go onto 4 injections a day to sort it I refuse because that is controlling everything I do and when I do it, had a bad experience when I was pregnant too on the 4 injections a day, it's just a cheaper way of doing things compared to back in the day.
Things are alot more subtle now days as more people have it, still slightly embarrassing if I have a hypo at work as I work in a pub, but one of my customers had a hypo the other day and as I had a diabetic glucose drink that my mum gave me in my bag i whipped it out gave it to him and he was most greatful. His friend bought me a drink and couldn't thank me enough.
There's no point trying to lie about things because it doesn't get you anywhere just causes problems.
I noticed you're on the pump please tell me what you had to do to get I really want but they just won't consider me?


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## Twitchy (Oct 1, 2012)

Hiya  Are you back on two jabs then? I think a lot of people have horrible hypos when preg whatever regime they're on, as it's hard to predict the hornone swings or when the baby (aka as beloved parasite lol) is going to be greedy too...I found 5+ jabs a day the best I could get for control pre pump - that was split detemir & quick acting for meals & snacks, but I got a pump because of dawn phenomenon - basically my sugar levels soared overnight no matter what tricks i tried (raising background = hypos, protein snack before bed etc made no difference) & I was told only a pump can deal effectively with this. Went from waking up regularly in high teens - 20+ if i didnt correct with qa in the early hours to now seeing around 5mmol regularly - WOW!!!! 

Have you discussed pumps & the criteria with your doc? It's not as simple as HbA1c as mine was ok, but only cos i was up at 3am almost every day for a correction jab!  . Best of luck...


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## tiggerpoo (Oct 1, 2012)

*having the same trouble!*

hi all, i am also new to this site an have a 11yr old daughter who was diagnosed when she was 9. i fight with her all the time to test an take insulin. she also has another medical condition which can effect her diabetes. i am struggling with everything at the min as she is so poorly. also the doctors think that the two conditions are connected to cf but they keep saying they are gona test but no one has done anything about it yet its so anouying. anyone else help cos i feel like i am losing the plot xx


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## grainger (Oct 1, 2012)

Hi all, 
I've not had diabetes very long (nearly my one year anniversary in Nov) but I just wanted to say that I (at the age of 30) have found that there are times when I want to pretend I don't have diabetes, wish that I could just pinch a doughnut or bag at crisps at work and not worry and be like everyone else so I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a teenager - because let's face it you just want to be with your friends and have fun.
I don't really have any advice to give, I guess I'd just say try to be patient, hormones of teenage years combined with diabetes must be insanely tough. 
I also wanted to say I think all parents of children with diabetes must be some of the strongest people on here - it's hard enough having diabetes sometimes, let alone watching the people you love doing the wrong things knowing that you can't force them. 
As I said, I don't have advice but just hoping that things get easier for you all x


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## Hanmillmum (Oct 2, 2012)

tiggerpoo said:


> hi all, i am also new to this site an have a 11yr old daughter who was diagnosed when she was 9. i fight with her all the time to test an take insulin. she also has another medical condition which can effect her diabetes. i am struggling with everything at the min as she is so poorly. also the doctors think that the two conditions are connected to cf but they keep saying they are gona test but no one has done anything about it yet its so anouying. anyone else help cos i feel like i am losing the plot xx



Welcome to the site Tiggerpoo! 

Sorry to hear your daughter is dealing with a few medical conditions (one is more than enough!). Pin the docs down to a date for testing for cf, you have to be assertive as they do have tendancy to put off. Regarding taking insulin is she injecting or on a pump ?

Sorry should have put that on your intro thread - oops


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## amzyjamzy (Oct 6, 2012)

*To sharon....*

hi, im also new to this site, ive been type1 diabetic for 13 years no - wow seems so long!, i was diagnosed in my teens too!.
What helped me to deal with my diabetes and to accept that i had to do things differently from others etc was some of the following but also to see others with diabetes, steve redgrave! to see what hes done etc
I think your daughter needs to be clearly told exactly what shes risking by not doing her insulin this may be best by her diabetic nurse?, i would conecntrate on this fact first.
I never did my bms yes really bad but i am still alive!. maybe just get her to do one before bed?
I always did my insulin so i cant comment on that problem you mentioned it just made me feel awful without it.
To tell your daughter your angry with her because your tired and need to go to work i think would be a disaster as i would just do it more, you are going to have 2am morning wakeups my mum went through hell when i was on my old regime of insulin and had many night time ambulance calls and visiting hospital!.

What helped me also was me taking charge of my diabetes, it is my diabetes and noone elses,
Im not sure  it is a good idea telling her straight how it is affecting your life, i think youd just make it worse.
It is hard but diabetes is never a walk in the park, and the doctors arent always right!,.
If my mum hadnt believed me that i wasnt stealing from the biscuit tin in the middle of the night (as said by my consultant at the time), if mum hadnt beleived me that i wasnt doing this i would have gone off the rails.
maybe chats in the car etc would be a good idea?, not full on converstaions just general chats make diabetes normal not to be hidden or not to be spoken about but also dont make it too 'medical'  for example keep it cool just chit chats here and there nothing major. And a huge thing!... make it a good thing to have diabetes!!!,  noone will tell you this is a good idea i understand that but from my point of view it really helped me thinking that im actually lucky to have diabetes.
 for example becuase i knew about my diabetes i was able to help a guy that was having a hypo at a parade i was on! made me feel great that all the people wer running around panicking but i was actually able to help him.
I hope ive helped and i hope i havent caused offence, just how it all helped me!.


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## Howard DJ Dutton (Oct 10, 2012)

*Hello Sharon*

Hi Sharon and your daughter,
Your Daughter and other children and Teenagers, also young adults i would love to try and help.
I too had type 1 Diabetes for almost 21yrs, until 2011 when i recieved a kidney and pancreas transplant, this was all due to poor control of my diabetes.
Diabetes in my family is very strong, and i also lost my sister aged 43 to diabetes and kidney failure.
I can truly appreciate what your daughter is going through, and now can see how difficult this is also for you too as parents being a parent myself.
I had everyone on my back, Parents, Nurses , Friends and Doctors but no one got through to me, everything they all said came true, from lnerve damage, loss of sight, kidney failure and much more, with numerous times in hospital for everything you can imagine, till finally after recieving Dialysis and then a transplant to help me.
This is my second chance of life,and hoping from my and many others experiences to help people, such as your daughter.
The shocking fact of reality for me wasi was going to die probably alot younger than most, this i know realise what a fool i have been, but am now looking for the positive side3amd looking forward. Nothing for me can change the past no matter how much all of us want to turn back the clock.
The damage has been done, and thanks to my brave donow famly who donated the organs, when they lost someone just aged 22.
If i can help by even talking to your daughter im more than willing, please feel free to get intouch  or you can chat to me or your daughter.
If anyone else who is reading this also would like to contact me please feel free.
Next year i plan to do a parachute jump in aid of diabetes uk and kidney research, i owe them both so much.
Keep your chin up, there is help and hopefully with everyones help your daughter will listen and start to look after her health.
Kind Regards Howard
(sorry for spelling mistakes and bad english)

_(you can contact Howard via private message if you wish - Admin)_


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## Copepod (Oct 10, 2012)

Welcome to the forums, amzyjamzy and Howard DJ Dutton.

Please feel free to introduce yourselves in Newbies section, if you like, and continue to post wherever you consider appropriate.


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## mumstheword (Oct 17, 2012)

Sharron - Cornwall said:


> Hello,
> I'm new to this site, my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 aged 10 she is now 16.  Her control is terrible (has been for about 2 yrs) and she has just come out of hospital after ketosis.
> 
> Are there any parents there who have been through this stage, she wont test and forgets her insulin.  If I ask her to do a test/insulin she sometimes lies or just wont do it, and often shes with friends or I'm at work so I'm not aware of whats going on.  When I spend my evenings running her to dr.s or at hospital until 2am and have to work the next day, Im just getting angry.
> ...



Hi there, This is exactly what happened with my daughter at the same age (6 years ago). I can appreciate that it is very frustrating for you. This is not something a parent can do on their own, to try and get a teenager to behave 'sensibly'! Have you tried enlisting the support of your daughter's DSN or family GP or perhaps a close friend or relative? Kids often see mum as the 'enemy' so you need to get a trusted adult on your side who your daughter will also trust, listen and chat to.  Sometimes taking a step back is needed to give her time to get her head around what has happened. She is struggling with  having this burden of testing and injecting. It's awful for you but it is doubly horrible for her. This can help take the pressure off you so you can get your anger in perspective but still be reassured that she is OK.

I know it would be easier if only she would do as she was told but how many teenagers do that? You can't 'put an old head on young shoulders'. Hopefully she will have learned something from this recent experience. Let her know you want to trust her to be more independent and in control but she has to prove she can do this. Also remind her how much you love her (even if she is being a nightmare).

My daughter & I came to an agreement that she would self-manage her diabetes on a day to day basis but we would review her results every weekend to make sure she was on-track. This worked reasonably well. I can't pretend that I was always happy with the way she chose to self-manage but her DSN was excellent. 

I am afraid it can be a real roller-coaster sometimes but she needs you to hang on with her while she grows up. I do not know if your daughter would want to speak with anyone going through the same thing as her (mine didn't) but Diabetes UK do have a Peer Support Scheme. Also is there a patient education scheme in your aree for Type 1 patients? My daughter went on a DAFNE course after much persuasion from her DSN and this really helped her.

Best wishes from Mums the Word


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## Copepod (Oct 17, 2012)

Welcome to the forum, Mums the Word.

Please feel free to introduce yourself in the Newbies section, if you like. Of course you're also very welcome to read / post etc wherever you like.


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## fencesitter (Oct 18, 2012)

mumstheword said:


> My daughter & I came to an agreement that she would self-manage her diabetes on a day to day basis but we would review her results every weekend to make sure she was on-track. This worked reasonably well.


I just wanted to say that this is what I do with my son. I pretty much leave him alone on a day to day basis he manages his diabetes as he sees fit (again, not always as I would like such as not testing enough, but I do tend to bite my tongue). Then on Fridays I download his meter data and have a chat about anything that looks tricky. Helps take the heat off specific situations but you can still address them in a calm way - eg. you only tested twice last Wednesday; any reason for that? Do you know why you had that big hypo, could you avoid it happening next time etc etc. It does seem to work on the whole. He has his annual review next week so we'll see what the consultant thinks. He gave William a bit of a ticking off last time for not testing enough, and I do think the situation has improved now.


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## Bright spark (Oct 30, 2012)

Hi Sharon
I've been diabetic since the age of 10 (32 years ago now) and was just like you daughter when I was her age.  I did anything possible to rebel against it and know I put my poor mum through hell.  I really don't believe any one could have said anything that would have change my mind about what I was doing, I just didn't want to be different to everyone else.  I work with teenagers and they are all the same!!  Try to be calm with your daughter and support her, try talking to her and listen to how she is feeling about it.  My 15 year old daughter's best friend is diabetic and we chat all the time and test our blood and do our injections together, it is about understanding rather than telling her what to do (believe me I know how hard that is with 2 teenage daughters myself!!). I wish I had the answer for you, if I did I would bottle it and sell it!! I changed when I nearly lost my sight when my daughter was 3 weeks old, and believe you me that was such a wake up call that I needed and I have never looked back.  I was lucky because after 2 years of lazer treatment to the heamorages at the back of my eyes I can see my 2 girls. Good luck.  Bright spark


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## Hemelgirl (Nov 14, 2012)

*Parent of a Teenager in need of Help!!*

Hi - my first post too on World Diabetes Day 2012 - new to this site so hope I get it right.  My daughter was also diagnosed at age 10 - now 14.  Its not easy even without diabetes to think about.  Not sure how much support you get from your hospital team - do they have any psychologists that she could talk to as part of her team - it may be that the whole family could talk together with them- it does affect the whole family - don't we all know it.  Also my daughter is on an insulin pump and we find that makes things a lot better for a teen than injections, not saying she remembers 100% of the time but it is attached to her all the time and she doesn't have to inject each time she eats just press a button.  The pump has been great for my daughter in her teens.  I would strongly recommend you register on the children with diabetes UK mailing lists.  Lots of us stressed out parents of type 1 teens on there that can offer support. We also meet up with local parents that we meet on the list and it is great for the teens too to feel normal testing and injecting/pumping, think this has helped my daughter a lot with managing her type 1.


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## Northerner (Nov 14, 2012)

Hemelgirl said:


> Hi - my first post too on World Diabetes Day 2012 - new to this site so hope I get it right.  My daughter was also diagnosed at age 10 - now 14.  Its not easy even without diabetes to think about.  Not sure how much support you get from your hospital team - do they have any psychologists that she could talk to as part of her team - it may be that the whole family could talk together with them- it does affect the whole family - don't we all know it.  Also my daughter is on an insulin pump and we find that makes things a lot better for a teen than injections, not saying she remembers 100% of the time but it is attached to her all the time and she doesn't have to inject each time she eats just press a button.  The pump has been great for my daughter in her teens.  I would strongly recommend you register on the children with diabetes UK mailing lists.  Lots of us stressed out parents of type 1 teens on there that can offer support. We also meet up with local parents that we meet on the list and it is great for the teens too to feel normal testing and injecting/pumping, think this has helped my daughter a lot with managing her type 1.



Hi Hemelgirl, welcome to the forum


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## HOBIE (Nov 14, 2012)

Hi good what "Bright Spark" said.     Kids ! whoed ev em.  I know i have put my family through the mill. I have been T1 for 46yrs(3) & i dont think there is a perfect answer. You have come to the right place for support etc. Hang in there


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## Ruth Wilson (Nov 15, 2012)

Hi, 

Thought I'd let you know, Diabetes UK runs a Peer Support service where you can talk to people living with diabetes, including other parents. It's 1-to-1 by phone or email. You can phone 0843 353 8600, or email through the website at http://www.diabetes.org.uk/How_we_help/Peer-support . 

Donna is a parent to a teenager, and there are young adults living with type 1 (e.g. Lucy) who might good for your children to to have a chat with. 

The volunteers are trained and it's confidential, so it's a good place for a rant as well as sharing thoughts and experiences. 

Best wishes.


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