# Really Struggling



## melonpop (Sep 11, 2014)

Hi All, 
I am new to these boards, my 4 year old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 in May this year. I have come here looking for some help. I thought I was coping well but the last few weeks I have a constant feeling of anxiety that I can't shift. She has just started reception this week so I think that is adding to things. Work is also very stressful at the moment and havent been having lunch breaks as I am driving home from work at the moment to sort her injections. Just wondered if this is all normal. Feeling really edgy like the smallest thing could set me off into tears xxx


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## Northerner (Sep 11, 2014)

Hi melonpop, welcome to the forum  Very sorry to hear about your little one's diagnosis  I would say yes, it is perfectly normal to feel as you do, there is such a lot to take in at the start. Please have a read of Adrienne's essential guide for parents of newly diagnosed children:

http://diabetessupport.co.uk/boards/showthread.php?t=23853

Things WILL get better, but it will take time and you will probably always worry as all mothers do about their children. But the good news is that diabetes is something that can be controlled well and although it may take a little more forethought and planning there is nothing that she will be prevented from doing as she grows up. Technology and knowledge is improving all the time - I have been diagnosed only 6 years, but just in that time things have progressed beyond what I might have imagined.

I would strongly recommend getting a copy of Type 1 Diabetes in Children, Adolescents and Young People by Ragnar Hanas. It is the best book about Type 1 available and is a priceless reference guide. 

What insulin regime is she on, and how is she doing with the finger pricks and injections? Have you been taught how to carb count?


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## Sally71 (Sep 11, 2014)

Welcome to the forum!

Sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment, but it sounds entirely normal!  Starting school is a major event for any child (and their parents!) even without having diabetes to cope with.  On top of that your daughter was only dx four months ago, that's not very long really, so it could quite well be that you are still grieving (for the "perfect" life that you and your daughter no longer have).  We all have to go through this process, and it takes longer for some people than others, but rest assured that it does get better!  For example it took me 6 months before I could cry at all (I often wanted to, but it wouldn't come), then for the next 6 months I would go through phases of some really silly little thing reducing me to tears, then I would feel better for a while, then gradually I would start to feel more anxious again until some other silly thing would set me off again.  Then eventually around the one year anniversary I had a total meltdown one weekend and was a complete emotional mess for a couple of weeks; but since then I have felt soooooo much better, I actually feel like I know what I'm doing now (most of the time), and I don't have to get in touch with the DSN anywhere near as often as I used to to check things.

Well done for finding this forum, there are loads of lovely people here and whatever questions you have there is always someone who can answer.  Remember we've all been there before and had all the same questions, nothing is too silly, so ask away if there's anything at all you want to know!


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## Hanmillmum (Sep 11, 2014)

Hi melonpop! Welcome to the forum 

I certainly experienced what you are currently going through both in the initial months after my daughter's diagnosis as well as when she began school - you have both close together so no wonder you are feeling it! After my daughter's dx I recall being sat at my desk at work and having a panic attack - I was just worried sick about how she was getting on and juggling getting everything organised plus the pressures of work etc. It does get easier and feels less anxiety provoking in time. 
When my daughter began school (last Sept) I took planned unpaid leave from work ( because I knew it would be a pressured time and I was also needed to help with the training of the new TA's and to be in school for "x" amount of time). I only went back in June  

Is your little one not getting any support at school to manage her diabetes, are you intending to manage her lunchtime injections long term ? It would help take some pressure off yourself if she did.


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## melonpop (Sep 11, 2014)

Thank you all for your replies. 

She is currently on injection with every meal and then her long lasting insulin once a day. 

I am getting great support from the school and once they have passed a competency check they will be injecting my daughter for which I am thankful! 

I just go through waves of feeling bitter at the freedom that it feels like my daughter has lost and also my other daughter even though she is not diabetic. Silly things like will parents ever invite her to tea etc. 

Thank you for mentioning the book, I will have a look at it. I am sure that I will be okay but I have to be the strong one in my family as my husband hasn't coped very well. My daughter on the other hand has coped amazingly well! It is true that children bounce back xxx


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## HOBIE (Sep 11, 2014)

Welcome Melonpop. I don't know how my parents put up with me as a kid. The worry i must have been. What you are going through is normal. I have been T1 for over 48yrs & I have two kids 12 & 17.    There all a worry. Good luck & that god for NHS & staff who are brill


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## Redkite (Sep 11, 2014)

Hi Melonpop and welcome to the forum . It's completely understandable that you are feeling anxious.  My son was also diagnosed at age 4 in the August just before starting reception, and it felt terrifying handing him over to the school.  It's great that your school is being so supportive though - I had to go in daily to do his tests and injections!

On the subject of invitations to tea and parties, my experience was that there was certainly a wariness from other parents, but my advice is that you should just invite plenty of other children from your daughter's class over to your place - all but the thickest-skinned parents will feel they ought to reciprocate!  Then you can just have a little chat with them about your daughter's diabetes and what she needs.  Ideally get the Mums over to yours on the playdates too - that way they can see you giving your daughter "normal" food (some will worry she might need a special diet) and you can naturally bring up the topic of a meal injection etc.  Also, perhaps the school would be amenable to holding an assembly on diabetes?  JDRF have some excellent materials to use for assemblies - then the other children will understand a bit more too.


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