# Find a cure quest five word epic!



## Northerner

Thought it was about time we had another epic penned by forum members! In time-honoured fashion, the epic will progress by each member adding 5  words to the previous post in order to move the story along 

The theme of the epic is a quest to find a cure for diabetes, taking in whatever you wish...let the quest begin!

Pam Kreeyass yawned, and stretched


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> Thought it was about time we had another epic penned by forum members! In time-honoured fashion, the epic will progress by each member adding 5  words to the previous post in order to move the story along
> 
> The theme of the epic is a quest to find a cure for diabetes, taking in whatever you wish...let the quest begin!
> 
> Pam Kreeyass yawned, and stretched


]]


scratching her head pondering the

PS you must have read my mind I was gonna pm you about doing something again


----------



## caffeine_demon

flavour of a well roasted


----------



## Northerner

caffeine_demon said:


> flavour of a well roasted



pork and beluga caviar sandwich


----------



## Old Holborn

while watching the rain fall


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> while watching the rain fall



drenching the neighbour's cat


----------



## mcdonagh47

Northerner said:


> drenching the neighbour's cat



only four words there thought


----------



## Northerner

mcdonagh47 said:


> only four words there thought



the attentive and fully awake


----------



## Old Holborn

cow, slowly chewing the cud


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> cow, slowly chewing the cud



while considering which patch of


----------



## mcdonagh47

Dizzydi said:


> while considering which patch of



grass to manure, when suddenly


----------



## Dizzydi

mcdonagh47 said:


> grass to manure, when suddenly



a mutant bumble bee the


----------



## caffeine_demon

lord of the bee universe


----------



## Northerner

caffeine_demon said:


> lord of the bee universe



with pink and yellow stripes


----------



## vince13

Northerner said:


> with pink and yellow stripes



flew drowsily into her eye


----------



## Northerner

vince13 said:


> flew drowsily into her eye



She mooed in alarm and


----------



## KateR

and stepped back into a


----------



## Northerner

KateR said:


> and stepped back into a



freshly laid pat, just crusting


----------



## caffeine_demon

tastes like bacon, she thought


----------



## Old Holborn

caffeine_demon said:


> tastes like bacon, she thought


 
it needed some HP sauce


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> it needed some HP sauce



and (heaven forfend!) white bread


----------



## vince13

Northerner said:


> and (heaven forfend!) white bread



topped off with a gherkin


----------



## Steff

vince13 said:


> topped off with a gherkin



sliced down the centre with


----------



## Dizzydi

Mustard and onions. Then suddenly


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> Mustard and onions. Then suddenly



she realised she had diabetes!


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> she realised she had diabetes!



But alas it would not


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> But alas it would not



give her a day off


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> give her a day off



Those pesky bs were making


----------



## Steff

Dizzydi said:


> Those pesky bs were making



her mouth give off a


----------



## Northerner

Steff said:


> her mouth give off a



smell of pear drops that


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> smell of pear drops that


 
Alf the Elf collected quickly


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Alf the Elf collected quickly



In an old coke bottle


----------



## mcdonagh47

Northerner said:


> In an old coke bottle



because he loved sniffing it


----------



## Northerner

mcdonagh47 said:


> because he loved sniffing it



and it cleared his sinuses


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> and it cleared his sinuses



Making him feel quite spaced


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> Making him feel quite spaced


 
watching Lucy in the Sky


----------



## Steff

Old Holborn said:


> watching Lucy in the Sky



with diamonds and large rays


----------



## Northerner

Steff said:


> with diamonds and large rays



swimming around in glittering pools


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> swimming around in glittering pools


thinking of Pam Kreeyass yawning


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> thinking of Pam Kreeyass yawning



and realising she was hypo!


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> and realising she was hypo!


 
and clinging to the arm


----------



## Steff

Old Holborn said:


> and clinging to the arm



of her eldest mates first


----------



## Old Holborn

Steff said:


> of her eldest mates first


 
cousin twice removed boyfriends Aunt


----------



## fencesitter

Old Holborn said:


> cousin twice removed boyfriends Aunt



they staggered off to see


----------



## Old Holborn

Willsmum said:


> they staggered off to see


 

the wonderful Wizzard of Oz


----------



## fencesitter

Old Holborn said:


> the wonderful Wizzard of Oz



who was cooking up potions


----------



## Old Holborn

Willsmum said:


> who was cooking up potions


 

Fe Fi Fo Fum I


----------



## Steff

Old Holborn said:


> Fe Fi Fo Fum I



smell the blood of a


----------



## Northerner

Steff said:


> smell the blood of a



freshly pricked finger to test


----------



## fencesitter

Northerner said:


> freshly pricked finger to test



and the result is ... er ...


----------



## Steff

Willsmum said:


> and the result is ... er ...



off the scale due to


----------



## Dizzydi

Steff said:


> off the scale due to



giant smarties the colour of


----------



## Steff

Dizzydi said:


> giant smarties the colour of



aunt margerets crusty bloomers which


----------



## Dizzydi

Steff said:


> aunt margerets crusty bloomers which



made everyone quesey at the


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> made everyone quesey at the


 
site of the elasticated knee's


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> site of the elasticated knee's



and sagging gusset. I'd better


----------



## Steff

Northerner said:


> and sagging gusset. I'd better



Cover my eyes before she


----------



## Old Holborn

trips over a banana skin


----------



## Dizzydi

Which the ants where trying


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> Which the ants where trying



to knit into a truss


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> to knit into a truss



to bridge the loch Ness


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> to bridge the loch Ness



and dodge the monster that


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> and dodge the monster that


 

phoned Puff the Magic Dragon


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> phoned Puff the Magic Dragon



who lived by the sea


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> who lived by the sea


 

of Tranquility on the Moon


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> of Tranquility on the Moon



On a clear night you


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> On a clear night you


 

ride a bike without any


----------



## Steff

Old Holborn said:


> ride a bike without any



breaks or night lights that


----------



## Dizzydi

Steff said:


> breaks or night lights that



in fact floats through the


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> in fact floats through the


 
Astroid Belt gather little pieces


----------



## mcdonagh47

Old Holborn said:


> Astroid Belt gather little pieces



. Sidney Snakeoil was thinking, "Diabetes",


----------



## Northerner

mcdonagh47 said:


> . Sidney Snakeoil was thinking, "Diabetes",



what might I conjure up


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> what might I conjure up


 
and down on a seesaw


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> and down on a seesaw



that I might make money


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> that I might make money


 
dance to a happy tune


----------



## Northerner

What if I pretended that


----------



## mcdonagh47

Northerner said:


> What if I pretended that



rhubarb cured Type 1 Diabetes ?


----------



## Northerner

mcdonagh47 said:


> rhubarb cured Type 1 Diabetes ?



Yorkshire would become the centre


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> Yorkshire would become the centre




of jelly and ice-cream celebrations


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> of jelly and ice-cream celebrations


 
with crumble and custard thrown


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> with crumble and custard thrown



at all those who sneak


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> at all those who sneak


 
in Diabetic Jam sandwiches topped


----------



## mcdonagh47

Old Holborn said:


> in Diabetic Jam sandwiches topped



with Beluga caviar and crisps.


----------



## Old Holborn

mcdonagh47 said:


> with Beluga caviar and crisps.


 

Pam Kreeyass still yawning thought


----------



## mcdonagh47

Old Holborn said:


> Pam Kreeyass still yawning thought



"Hmmmm, Rhubarb is the answer !"


----------



## Northerner

a powerful and efficacious remedy


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> a powerful and efficacious remedy


 
but not for the want


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> but not for the want



of a goat essence flavouring


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> of a goat essence flavouring


 
thickly spread with ear wax


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> thickly spread with ear wax



That should convince the diabetics


----------



## fencesitter

Northerner said:


> That should convince the diabetics



; the nastier the medicine, the ...


----------



## Northerner

Willsmum said:


> ; the nastier the medicine, the ...



more believable the cure! Ha!


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> more believable the cure! Ha!


 

So a pint of petrol should


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> So a pint of petrol should



just about seal the deal


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> just about seal the deal


 
and stand well back when


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> and stand well back when



the rhubarb ripens and the


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> the rhubarb ripens and the


 
wind blows from the East


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> wind blows from the East



As singed eyebrows is not


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> As singed eyebrows is not


 
conducive to giving expression to


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> conducive to giving expression to



the unbridled joy and wonderment


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> the unbridled joy and wonderment


 

of Metformin, Byetta and Januvia.


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> of Metformin, Byetta and Januvia.




Meanwhile the doughnut eating zebra


----------



## mcdonagh47

Dizzydi said:


> Meanwhile the doughnut eating zebra



had lost all its stripes


----------



## Northerner

mcdonagh47 said:


> had lost all its stripes



and been reclassified as a


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> and been reclassified as a


 
schizophrenic horse with delusions of


----------



## mcdonagh47

Old Holborn said:


> schizophrenic horse with delusions of



being a Centaur or  Unicorn


----------



## Old Holborn

mcdonagh47 said:


> being a Centaur or Unicorn


 

but what a Donkey he


----------



## Steff

Old Holborn said:


> but what a Donkey he



was cause he realised that


----------



## Old Holborn

Steff said:


> was cause he realised that


 
if he could grow wings


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> if he could grow wings



he could fly to the


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> he could fly to the


 
Kingdom of Diabetes where he


----------



## Steff

Old Holborn said:


> Kingdom of Diabetes where he



picked up supplies of yellow


----------



## pottersusan

pills which he dissolved in


----------



## mcdonagh47

pottersusan said:


> pills which he dissolved in



his rhubarb crumble and custard


----------



## Old Holborn

mcdonagh47 said:


> his rhubarb crumble and custard


 

Meanwhile Pam Kreeyass still yawning


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> Meanwhile Pam Kreeyass still yawning



Thought I'm bored I need


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> Thought I'm bored I need


 

a pint of tonic that


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> a pint of tonic that



Will make me dream of


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> Will make me dream of


 


a white christmas, just like


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> a white christmas, just like



when the elves used to


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> when the elves used to


 
dance round the maypole singing


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> dance round the maypole singing



'Come hither, fair human, untether..."


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> 'Come hither, fair human, untether..."


 
thine horse and go thither


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> thine horse and go thither



to the sugary, trumpety land


----------



## Old Holborn

down in the dark woods


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> down in the dark woods



where diabetics test their bloods


----------



## Old Holborn

by plugging themselves in to


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> by plugging themselves in to



a pig made of sand...'


----------



## Old Holborn

Then cheering "Oink Oink" they


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Then cheering "Oink Oink" they



sang and they danced until


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> sang and they danced until


 
The forum's Wild Women threw


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> The forum's Wild Women threw



there rather stunning little pink


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> there rather stunning little pink



flamingo feathers into the cauldron


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> flamingo feathers into the cauldron



and went looking for the


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> and went looking for the



wise woodlouse of the warren


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> wise woodlouse of the warren



who is on a date


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> who is on a date



with cake on a plate


----------



## fencesitter

Northerner said:


> with cake on a plate



with extra cream and jam


----------



## Northerner

Willsmum said:


> with extra cream and jam



that he found in a


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> that he found in a


 
treacle swamp surounded by hot


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> treacle swamp surounded by hot



syrup soaked sugar canes with


----------



## purpleshadez

a pint of the finest


----------



## Northerner

purpleshadez said:


> a pint of the finest



foaming 'Dog Breath' ale, only


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> foaming 'Dog Breath' ale, only


 

sold at The Cat Widdle


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> sold at The Cat Widdle



and Litter Tray on Fridays


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> and Litter Tray on Fridays


 
that falls on the 13th


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> that falls on the 13th



because that's the only day


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> because that's the only day


 
The Cat Widdle is open.


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> The Cat Widdle is open.



Mean while far far away


----------



## ypauly

Dizzydi said:


> Mean while far far away



In a place called york.


----------



## Northerner

ypauly said:


> In a place called york.



the acolytes of the forum


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> the acolytes of the forum



are preparing for battle against


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> are preparing for battle against



the fearsome Glucosaurus Rex, despised


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> the fearsome Glucosaurus Rex, despised


 
and hated by many helpless


----------



## rossi_mac

Old Holborn said:


> and hated by many helpless



but rather useful varieties of


----------



## Old Holborn

rossi_mac said:


> but rather useful varieties of


 
breakfast cereal covered in thick


----------



## Steff

Old Holborn said:


> breakfast cereal covered in thick



custard and yummy little blue


----------



## Northerner

Steff said:


> custard and yummy little blue



penguins made from stale marzipan


----------



## Old Holborn

Meanwhile Pam Kreeyass stopped yawning


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> Meanwhile Pam Kreeyass stopped yawning



The boredom had finally turned


----------



## Old Holborn

left at the lights then


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> left at the lights then



straight on till morning, as


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> straight on till morning, as


 
snow was falling in June


----------



## purpleshadez

Old Holborn said:


> snow was falling in June



Which is more common than


----------



## Dizzydi

purpleshadez said:


> Which is more common than



Seeing pixies out shopping and


----------



## Old Holborn

fish riding bikes along the


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> fish riding bikes along the



river seine with tadpoles in


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> river seine with tadpoles in


 
frosted chocolate laced with pickled


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> frosted chocolate laced with pickled



Onions, gherkins and sauerkraut. Making


----------



## Steff

Dizzydi said:


> Onions, gherkins and sauerkraut. Making



the smell unbearable to little


----------



## Old Holborn

kittens and huge gold fish


----------



## mcdonagh47

Old Holborn said:


> kittens and huge gold fish



. Suddenly Pam Whatsername leapt free


----------



## MCH

mcdonagh47 said:


> . Suddenly Pam Whatsername leapt free



and jumped into the great


----------



## Steff

MCH said:


> and jumped into the great



white sharks mouth which made


----------



## Dizzydi

Steff said:


> white sharks mouth which made



Beautiful bubbles from its large


----------



## Old Holborn

tail. Splish splash splosh it


----------



## mcdonagh47

Old Holborn said:


> tail. Splish splash splosh it



went while testing its BG


----------



## Dizzydi

mcdonagh47 said:


> went while testing its BG



and dreaming of sweet creamy


----------



## Old Holborn

emulsion paint with a slight


----------



## MCH

Old Holborn said:


> emulsion paint with a slight



hint of mint. It then


----------



## Old Holborn

leapt in to a passing


----------



## mcdonagh47

Old Holborn said:


> leapt in to a passing



schooner, bound for Old Jamaica


----------



## Old Holborn

and Long John Silver's house


----------



## macast

Old Holborn said:


> and Long John Silver's house



Pam Whatsername thought she was


----------



## Old Holborn

in love with Long John


----------



## macast

Old Holborn said:


> in love with Long John



but it was only a


----------



## mcdonagh47

macast said:


> but it was only a



crush on his wooden leg


----------



## Northerner

mcdonagh47 said:


> crush on his wooden leg



or his parrot, called Rosie


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> or his parrot, called Rosie



But alas its not long


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> But alas its not long



before it's time to get


----------



## Steff

Northerner said:


> before it's time to get



to bed so i can read


----------



## Northerner

Steff said:


> to bed so i can read



the NICE guidelines on testing


----------



## Steff

Northerner said:


> the NICE guidelines on testing



with bright pink sharp


----------



## Old Holborn

toothpaste spread on a toe


----------



## macast

Old Holborn said:


> toothpaste spread on a toe



of the lesser-spotted armadillo with


----------



## Old Holborn

plans to build an extension


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> plans to build an extension



shelved for just a moment


----------



## macast

Northerner said:


> shelved for just a moment



til the NICE guidelines are


----------



## Dizzydi

macast said:


> til the NICE guidelines are




Used as toilet roll or


----------



## Old Holborn

made into a shakespearean play


----------



## purpleshadez

involving a tragic tale of


----------



## gail1

star crossed lovers who had


----------



## macast

gail1 said:


> star crossed lovers who had



met Macbeth's three witches at


----------



## Northerner

macast said:


> met Macbeth's three witches at



a diabetes support forum meet


----------



## gail1

where along with the diabetic


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> where along with the diabetic



nurse with a needle phobia


----------



## Steff

Northerner said:


> nurse with a needle phobia



There's also a mum with


----------



## gail1

six inch purple eyelashes that


----------



## Steff

gail1 said:


> six inch purple eyelashes that



made betty boop look green


----------



## macast

Steff said:


> made betty boop look green



and swept the floor like


----------



## Steff

macast said:


> and swept the floor like



her life depended on it


----------



## Northerner

Steff said:


> her life depended on it



which, on this occasion, it


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> which, on this occasion, it


 
did as the broom flew


----------



## macast

Old Holborn said:


> did as the broom flew




over the moon and on


----------



## mcdonagh47

macast said:


> over the moon and on



to a barbeque on Mars


----------



## Northerner

mcdonagh47 said:


> to a barbeque on Mars



bars specially adapted to allow


----------



## macast

Northerner said:


> bars specially adapted to allow



diabetics to eat 10 without


----------



## Old Holborn

work, rest or playing past


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> work, rest or playing past



the point of no return


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> the point of no return


 
ticket to cross the big


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> ticket to cross the big



chicken with the pygmy goat


----------



## MeganN

Northerner said:


> chicken with the pygmy goat



That got its horns stuck


----------



## macast

MeganN said:


> That got its horns stuck



hard and fast in the


----------



## MeganN

macast said:


> hard and fast in the




Sagging barbed wire fence that


----------



## Old Holborn

MeganN said:


> Sagging barbed wire fence that


 
fetsooned a Christmas Tree growing


----------



## macast

Old Holborn said:


> fetsooned a Christmas Tree growing



out of a magic mushroom


----------



## MeganN

macast said:


> out of a magic mushroom



Stolen by the elves who


----------



## macast

MeganN said:


> Stolen by the elves who



went and stole the NICE


----------



## Old Holborn

macast said:


> went and stole the NICE


 

biscuit with extra sugar added


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> biscuit with extra sugar added



and a generously buttered egg


----------



## Old Holborn

nog laced with gin and


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> nog laced with gin and



glucogel, for that special little


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> glucogel, for that special little


 

John and Robin Hood deep


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> John and Robin Hood deep



Secret forest experience that gin


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> Secret forest experience that gin


 

Sling in Raffles Hotel, Singapore


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> Sling in Raffles Hotel, Singapore



With the humpalumpas playing tricks


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> With the humpalumpas playing tricks


 

abracadabra cried the crowd as


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> abracadabra cried the crowd as



The crocodile slyly slipped on


----------



## Old Holborn

a big grinning face with


----------



## LeeSeventyOne

Old Holborn said:


> a big grinning face with



Dental braces showing in his


----------



## Old Holborn

LeeSeventyOne said:


> Dental braces showing in his


 
bright pink and blue underpants


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> bright pink and blue underpants



Which are held up by


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> Which are held up by


 
bent rusty nails, screws and


----------



## LeeSeventyOne

Old Holborn said:


> bent rusty nails, screws and



Lots of pink gaffer tape


----------



## Old Holborn

LeeSeventyOne said:


> Lots of pink gaffer tape


 
Meanwhile Pam Kreeyass shouted Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious


----------



## muddlethru

while chewing on a great


----------



## Old Holborn

muddlethru said:


> while chewing on a great


 
big house brick and dancing


----------



## muddlethru

with the diabetes fairy who


----------



## Dizzydi

muddlethru said:


> with the diabetes fairy who




Was whooping with glee while


----------



## MCH

Dizzydi said:


> Was whooping with glee while



granting everyone three wishes like


----------



## Old Holborn

MCH said:


> granting everyone three wishes like


 

a long long time ago


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> a long long time ago



when men were men and


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> when men were men and


 

women were made of sugar


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> women were made of sugar



or so it seemed when


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> or so it seemed when


 

the Candy Floss man drove


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> the Candy Floss man drove



a majestic herd of wildebeest


----------



## MCH

Northerner said:


> a majestic herd of wildebeest



towards Hansel and Gretel's gingerbread


----------



## Northerner

MCH said:


> towards Hansel and Gretel's gingerbread



and whelk emporium where a


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> and whelk emporium where a


 

Woodsman with his big chopper


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Woodsman with his big chopper



a Boeing CH-47 Chinook, was


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> a Boeing CH-47 Chinook, was


 

the best they could supply,


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> the best they could supply,



according to the NICE guidelines


----------



## LeeSeventyOne

Northerner said:


> according to the NICE guidelines



Hmmm, Nice Biscuits full of


----------



## Old Holborn

LeeSeventyOne said:


> Hmmm, Nice Biscuits full of


 
Kipper essence, olive oil plus


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Kipper essence, olive oil plus



sodium benzoate, for that special


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> sodium benzoate, for that special


 
Zoom zoooom zoooooooommmmm feeling as


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Zoom zoooom zoooooooommmmm feeling as



though a fire had been


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> though a fire had been


 
put out by petrol and


----------



## muddlethru

was very dark through Haze


----------



## Dizzydi

muddlethru said:


> was very dark through Haze




But once the smoke cleared


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> But once the smoke cleared


 

Pam Kreeyass yawned, and stretched


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Pam Kreeyass yawned, and stretched



her knicker elastic round the


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> her knicker elastic round the


 
the Maypole then with one


----------



## Andy HB

Old Holborn said:


> the Maypole then with one



deft flick of her wrist ....


----------



## Dizzydi

Andy HB said:


> deft flick of her wrist ....



fired herself across the thames


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> fired herself across the thames



(it was very strong elastic)


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> (it was very strong elastic)



,meanwhile muffin the mule was


----------



## gail1

on the roller coaster that


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> on the roller coaster that



is blood sugar control, and


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> is blood sugar control, and


 
Andy Pandy, Teddy, Loopy Lou


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Andy Pandy, Teddy, Loopy Lou



and most of the Woodentops


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> and most of the Woodentops


 

not forgetting Spot the Dog


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> not forgetting Spot the Dog



the biggest spotty dog you


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> the biggest spotty dog you


 
wouldn't want to stroke because


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> wouldn't want to stroke because



it was infested with boils


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> it was infested with boils



,were all whooping with glee


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> ,were all whooping with glee


 
as Sam, the farm hand,


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> as Sam, the farm hand,



boiled up some turnips for


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> boiled up some turnips for



 Sunday dinner to eat with


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> Sunday dinner to eat with


 
Bill, Ben and Weed who


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Bill, Ben and Weed who



were coming over for a


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> were coming over for a


 
garden party but the Farmer


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> garden party but the Farmer



intended to test them for


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> intended to test them for


 
Green fly, Slugs, Snails which


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Green fly, Slugs, Snails which



,as everyone doubtless already knows,


----------



## MCH

Northerner said:


> ,as everyone doubtless already knows,



are rampant this summer due


----------



## Northerner

MCH said:


> are rampant this summer due



to the hosepipe bans that


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> to the hosepipe bans that



which is ludicrous since its


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> which is ludicrous since its


 
a sorry sight when all


----------



## gail1

are gathered for their daily


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> are gathered for their daily



gherkin pickling and goose plucking


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> are gathered for their daily


 

bread and forgive them all


----------



## gail1

Old Holborn said:


> bread and forgive them all



sermon followered by lashings of


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> sermon followered by lashings of



ginger beer and bison vodka


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> ginger beer and bison vodka


 
with acorn vermouth plus umbrella


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> with acorn vermouth plus umbrella



only available in happy hour


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> only available in happy hour


 
to one legged unicyclist wearing


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> to one legged unicyclist wearing



an authentic Diabetic Fairy costume


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> an authentic Diabetic Fairy costume


 
with printed Diabetes poetry warning


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> with printed Diabetes poetry warning



against consuming pig sushi or


----------



## Andy HB

Northerner said:


> against consuming pig sushi or



trying to follow this thread!


----------



## Old Holborn

Andy HB said:


> trying to follow this thread!


 
While threading a needle with


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> While threading a needle with



the eye of a camel


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> the eye of a camel


 
but it's hump caused havoc


----------



## gail1

as it would not stay


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> as it would not stay


 
upright and sober while the


----------



## gail1

can-can dancing bongo playing


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> can-can dancing bongo playing



monkey wiggled its bum at


----------



## gail1

Northerner said:


> monkey wiggled its bum at



the pink spotted dogs that


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> the pink spotted dogs that


 
chased the Diabetes burglar around


----------



## gail1

Old Holborn said:


> chased the Diabetes burglar around



and bite him on the


----------



## Dizzydi

gail1 said:


> and bite him on the



Big mutant toe which is


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> Big mutant toe which is



one of the main signs that


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> one of the main signs that



cause wibbly wobbly iteuos, which


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> cause wibbly wobbly iteuos, which


 
when smeared with Marmalade does


----------



## gail1

make your toes smell off


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> make your toes smell off


 

Freshly made toast and coffee


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Freshly made toast and coffee



but totally carb free, making


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> but totally carb free, making


 
the addition of Marmite necessary


----------



## gail1

Old Holborn said:


> the addition of Marmite necessary



topped with hundreds and thousands


----------



## Steff

gail1 said:


> topped with hundreds and thousands



of small green sugered squares


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> topped with hundreds and thousands


 
of ants, wasps and bees


----------



## gail1

Old Holborn said:


> of ants, wasps and bees



which tasted of honey, but


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> which tasted of honey, but


 

had a kick like a


----------



## Andy HB

Old Holborn said:


> had a kick like a



hobbled gnat with splints on.


----------



## Old Holborn

Andy HB said:


> hobbled gnat with splints on.


 

Suddenly a Diabetic Alien appeared


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> Suddenly a Diabetic Alien appeared



with his sweet seeking probe


----------



## gail1

that was bleeping like mad


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> that was bleeping like mad


 

Max clad in a leather


----------



## muddlethru

kimona and a helmet like


----------



## Old Holborn

muddlethru said:


> kimona and a helmet like


 

a cannon ball fired from


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> a cannon ball fired from



the back end of a


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> the back end of a


 

Ford Cortina hurtling down the


----------



## gail1

Old Holborn said:


> Ford Cortina hurtling down the



runway like a bat out


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> runway like a bat out



of an aquaduct. 'Unusual', said


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> of an aquaduct. 'Unusual', said



Sid the sausage dog, thinking


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> Sid the sausage dog, thinking


 

Holy Anubis what's that all


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Holy Anubis what's that all



about, I'll never eat seafood


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> about, I'll never eat seafood


 
and a dog biscuit mix


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> and a dog biscuit mix



again, the fallout has been


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> again, the fallout has been


 

a bad case of dysentery


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> a bad case of dysentery



resulting in not being able


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> resulting in not being able


 
to bark without a mishap


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> to bark without a mishap



parping and trumping like a


----------



## gail1

Northerner said:


> parping and trumping like a



blue eyed hedgehog in labour


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> blue eyed hedgehog in labour



all prickles and poops! Then


----------



## gail1

Northerner said:


> all prickles and poops! Then



CAME AN ALMIGHTY parp smelling


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> CAME AN ALMIGHTY parp smelling



of peardrops - must be ketones!


----------



## gail1

Northerner said:


> of peardrops - must be ketones!


but as the hedgehog was


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> but as the hedgehog was



just about to call Tiggywinkles


----------



## gail1

Northerner said:


> just about to call Tiggywinkles



it changed colour and shape


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> it changed colour and shape



into a giant pink butterfly


----------



## gail1

Northerner said:


> into a giant pink butterfly



with diamond encrusted  wings that


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> with diamond encrusted  wings that



sparkled and shimmered so that


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> sparkled and shimmered so that


 
on take off they shone


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> on take off they shone



like sun dappled pools of


----------



## Dizzydi

Northerner said:


> like sun dappled pools of



slimy water filled with frog


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> slimy water filled with frog


 

eye'd sprites dumped by collectors


----------



## gail1

Old Holborn said:


> eye'd sprites dumped by collectors



that splashed about hopelessly flapping


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> that splashed about hopelessly flapping


 
like a 1920's new women


----------



## muddlethru

about to take off in


----------



## Northerner

muddlethru said:


> about to take off in



flamboyant fashion, most of their


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> flamboyant fashion, most of their


 
attempts at the 'Black Bottom'


----------



## muddlethru

ended in a bad attack


----------



## Old Holborn

muddlethru said:


> ended in a bad attack


 

of the Hand Jive which


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> of the Hand Jive which



makes it hard to test


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> makes it hard to test


 

if the bread dough is


----------



## gail1

mixed with raisins and choccie


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> mixed with raisins and choccie


 
sugar free dog treats and


----------



## muddlethru

sugar free fiery ginger beer


----------



## Old Holborn

muddlethru said:


> sugar free fiery ginger beer


 

then baked in the oven


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> then baked in the oven



for 10 minutes before deep


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> for 10 minutes before deep


 
freezing according to Chef Steff's


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> freezing according to Chef Steff's



special surprise stage started sunday


----------



## Old Holborn

Dizzydi said:


> special surprise stage started sunday


 

morning in Church blessed by


----------



## Steff

Old Holborn said:


> morning in Church blessed by



St Peter the vicar who


----------



## Old Holborn

Steff said:


> St Peter the vicar who


 

after doing a blood test


----------



## muddlethru

went to visit his old


----------



## Old Holborn

friend the shoe salesman in


----------



## gail1

la la land where everyone


----------



## Old Holborn

gail1 said:


> la la land where everyone


 
is healthy, wealthy and wise


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> is healthy, wealthy and wise



and possessed  of enormous feet


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> and possessed of enormous feet


 

and inches. Meanwhile Pam Kreeyass


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> and inches. Meanwhile Pam Kreeyass



was reading about a cure


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> was reading about a cure


 
for all known ailments that


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> for all known ailments that



only cost ?995 from China.


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> only cost ?995 from China.


 

Looks, taste and smell's vile


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> Looks, taste and smell's vile



so is applied via suppositories


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> so is applied via suppositories


 

and inserted by anyone with


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> and inserted by anyone with



opposable thumbs and a strong


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> opposable thumbs and a strong


 
sense of community spirit, plus


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> sense of community spirit, plus



a deft talent for distraction


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> a deft talent for distraction


 
and sleight of hand skills


----------



## Dizzydi

Old Holborn said:


> and sleight of hand skills



which can work magic, meanwhile


----------



## Northerner

Dizzydi said:


> which can work magic, meanwhile



the curative suppository was 'applied'


----------



## gail1

via the normal mode that


----------



## Northerner

gail1 said:


> via the normal mode that



would make the eyes water


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> would make the eyes water


 

nose run and knee's buckle


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> nose run and knee's buckle



but it would cure you!


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> but it would cure you!


 

"Yaba Daba Do" cried Yogi


----------



## Northerner

Old Holborn said:


> "Yaba Daba Do" cried Yogi



the fictional cartoon bear, and


----------



## Old Holborn

Northerner said:


> the fictional cartoon bear, and


 

waving his meter Boo Boo


----------

