# Newbie - Advice anyone?



## Dais99 (Aug 7, 2016)

Hello guys! I'm new to this sort of thing, want to see if it's any help? I don't have Diabetes myself but my boyfriend does, need some help if anyones up for helping? Thank you! X


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## grovesy (Aug 7, 2016)

Welcome!


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## Dais99 (Aug 7, 2016)

Thanks for replying!


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## Radders (Aug 7, 2016)

Hi there! If you have any specific questions this place is brilliant for suggesting things you might not have known about. Is your boyfriend on here too?


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## khskel (Aug 7, 2016)

Ask away


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## Copepod (Aug 7, 2016)

Welcome to the forum, Dais99. What sort of diabetes and treatment does your boyfriend have? Remember it's his condition, so ask him what help he wants from you, rather than offering unrequested advice / help.


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## pav (Aug 7, 2016)

Welcome, ask away there's a lot of knowledgeable people on here.


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## Dais99 (Aug 7, 2016)

Hi guys, I try to talk to him alot but all he says is just not to nag at him. He's 17 and he's got type 1, had it for nearly 2 years. We go through periods where he really wants to try and others that he doesnt! If you have type 1, what is the 1 thing that you would want or need from someone to support you? X


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## Dais99 (Aug 7, 2016)

Copepod said:


> Welcome to the forum, Dais99. What sort of diabetes and treatment does your boyfriend have? Remember it's his condition, so ask him what help he wants from you, rather than offering unrequested advice / help.




He's got type 1 and I know he uses a reader I think it's called Accu Check or Aviva Expert. I get so confused on the names and I want to help him but I feel like I'm nagging when I only remind him when needed


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## Robin (Aug 7, 2016)

You might find this thread interesting, particularly the Diabetes Etiquette card, which basically tells you all the things that non-diabetics ask that annoy us!
https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/threads/old-dog-new-tricks.60959/#post-619565


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## Matt Cycle (Aug 7, 2016)

The Accuchek will be his blood glucose meter.  Personally, just the support if I ask for it of my nearest and dearest is all I require without them interfering or nagging.   The most likely scenario you may find with Type 1 is a hypo (hypoglycaemia) where the blood sugar drops below a certain level through too much insulin, not enough food, exercise or it can be literally anything!  Typical symptoms include sweating, shaking, confusion and may possibly lead to collapse.  I would imagine for the person seeing it it can be very disconcerting (I've always been on the other side ).  Often people can treat their own hypos with jelly babies, glucose tablets etc but occasionally they may not realise what's happening.  My OH is good at spotting what is going on and said 'EAT THIS' before she has thrusted something sugary in my hand.  Depending on his control they're not that common but you will probably notice these over time and it is something to be aware of.


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## Ljc (Aug 8, 2016)

Here is a link to the diabetes etiquette card 
https://www.accu-chek.com/documents/resource-center/etiquetteonepage.pdf


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## Dais99 (Aug 8, 2016)

Robin said:


> You might find this thread interesting, particularly the Diabetes Etiquette card, which basically tells you all the things that non-diabetics ask that annoy us!
> https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/threads/old-dog-new-tricks.60959/#post-619565




Thanks!


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## Dais99 (Aug 8, 2016)

The one thing I struggle with is getting him to do his readings. When he's at work it's fine but it's the weekends where he just seems to not bother. Is there anything that anyone could suggest? X


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## Dais99 (Aug 8, 2016)

Matt Cycle said:


> The Accuchek will be his blood glucose meter.  Personally, just the support if I ask for it of my nearest and dearest is all I require without them interfering or nagging.   The most likely scenario you may find with Type 1 is a hypo (hypoglycaemia) where the blood sugar drops below a certain level through too much insulin, not enough food, exercise or it can be literally anything!  Typical symptoms include sweating, shaking, confusion and may possibly lead to collapse.  I would imagine for the person seeing it it can be very disconcerting (I've always been on the other side ).  Often people can treat their own hypos with jelly babies, glucose tablets etc but occasionally they may not realise what's happening.  My OH is good at spotting what is going on and said 'EAT THIS' before she has thrusted something sugary in my hand.  Depending on his control they're not that common but you will probably notice these over time and it is something to be aware of.




Yeah he's had these a few times. At first I was a bit worried but I now make sure we have snacks in the house for when he comes over. What are the best for his levels? I thought maybe full fat Coke and chocolate? X


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## pav (Aug 8, 2016)

Chocolate is a bit slow to get ones levels up quickly. A lot tend to prefer to use jelly babies as lots of carbs and easy to eat, myself I use wine gums or fruit pastels. Lucozade is another drink that's handy to have. 

I also have a type of fruit biscuit / snack bar as a reserve once I have had the sugar hit.


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## Copepod (Aug 8, 2016)

Dais99 said:


> He's got type 1 and I know he uses a reader I think it's called Accu Check or Aviva Expert. I get so confused on the names and I want to help him but I feel like I'm nagging when I only remind him when needed


So, have you asked him what support, if any, that he wants? I have a couple of friends, one of whom I had to stay with for a week when homeless a couple of years ago, so it was difficult for me to be as private about when I ate and injected as in my own place. She recently stayed with me for a few days, and her occasional raising of topic of my type 1 diabetes was frankly annoying. If you will be passenger in a car he drives, I think it's acceptable to ask if he's tested before setting off, as that's a DVLA requirement, but otherwise, yes, it's nagging. Fortunately, my partner for 14 years never fussed (didn't drive himself, so valued my driving!), but then went off with a younger colleague, and I am not looking for another.


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## Dais99 (Aug 8, 2016)

Yeah I suppose it is but I just worry because recently he went into hospital because it got so bad! 

I know he likes it when I help him work out his carbs and things which make it easier


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## Copepod (Aug 8, 2016)

Dais99 said:


> Yeah I suppose it is but I just worry because recently he went into hospital because it got so bad!
> 
> I know he likes it when I help him work out his carbs and things which make it easier


Well, that's good - an indication of what is acceptable to both of you. What caused his attendance at hospital? Where was he seen - diabetes clinic / A&E / inpatient overnight?


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## Dais99 (Aug 8, 2016)

Copepod said:


> Well, that's good - an indication of what is acceptable to both of you. What caused his attendance at hospital? Where was he seen - diabetes clinic / A&E / inpatient overnight?




He was taken in through a hospital in Reading, I think it was A&E. It was to do with his ketone levels as they were really high. He was kept over night but was only in there for about 2 days! It was so worrying that's why I get more worried now. Although I know it affected him and he got a bit scared I think so trys more now x


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## Ant Maddock (Aug 10, 2016)

Dais99 said:


> The one thing I struggle with is getting him to do his readings. When he's at work it's fine but it's the weekends where he just seems to not bother. Is there anything that anyone could suggest? X



This is tricky because taking readings regularly is important but diabetics do not necessarily like doing that. I understand the reluctance as it can make you feel a bit different to everyone else which is the last thing you want to feel! I follow a professional cycling team who compete at the highest level. All the messages they send out involves test, test, test. Before the ride, during the ride, after the ride, after food, before bed etc. Don't suggest that he needs to do it that often but before each meal is good.


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## Mini-Vicki (Aug 10, 2016)

It's very difficult to help someone who doesn't want the help. 
I had a lot of difficulty dealing with being diabetic for several years, and I got very angry if anyone mentioned anything about it to me. I'm feeling a lot better working myself nowadays, and therefore I don't mind people asking me about my health. I think it was because I knew I wasn't looking after myself as well as I could be, and it felt like judgement from other people. I'm not saying this is what you're doing at all, I just think everyone deals with things differently. 
My husband comes with me to all my appointments where possible, so he knows how I'm doing, and also remembers to ask questions I forget, and also remembers things after the appointment that I haven't taken in! It helps me a lot actually. 
Has your boyfriend been on any diabetes education courses such as DAFNE? I dragged hubby along to that too, so he understands carb counting, and has often worked or how much insulin I need before I've worked it out myself. If he does go on one of these, see if you can go along too, if he is comfortable with that x


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## Dais99 (Aug 10, 2016)

Mini-Vicki said:


> It's very difficult to help someone who doesn't want the help.
> I had a lot of difficulty dealing with being diabetic for several years, and I got very angry if anyone mentioned anything about it to me. I'm feeling a lot better working myself nowadays, and therefore I don't mind people asking me about my health. I think it was because I knew I wasn't looking after myself as well as I could be, and it felt like judgement from other people. I'm not saying this is what you're doing at all, I just think everyone deals with things differently.
> My husband comes with me to all my appointments where possible, so he knows how I'm doing, and also remembers to ask questions I forget, and also remembers things after the appointment that I haven't taken in! It helps me a lot actually.
> Has your boyfriend been on any diabetes education courses such as DAFNE? I dragged hubby along to that too, so he understands carb counting, and has often worked or how much insulin I need before I've worked it out myself. If he does go on one of these, see if you can go along too, if he is comfortable with that x




Hello! That was actually soo helpful! I didn't really look at it like that. He hasn't been to one but I understand how to do the carb counting and that's what we do before his meals but sometimes he forgets and if I remind him he gets a bit angry. Sometimes his mood swings are ridiculous and I just want to help xx


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## Mini-Vicki (Aug 10, 2016)

Dais99 said:


> Hello! That was actually soo helpful! I didn't really look at it like that. He hasn't been to one but I understand how to do the carb counting and that's what we do before his meals but sometimes he forgets and if I remind him he gets a bit angry. Sometimes his mood swings are ridiculous and I just want to help xx



I got home from work this evening, and I was in an absolutely foul mood, and I was pretty snappy to hubby, he (very gently) suggested I check my BG, and I was hypo 
So, what I'm saying is, is that diabetes can cause mood swings. I'm moody if I'm too low or too high, and especially if I'm swinging between the two, which can sometimes happen, and may be what your boyfriend is experiencing if he isn't looking after himself as well as perhaps he could. 
Maybe, when he's in a good mood suggest an education course. Carb counting is a huge part of gaining control, but there's lots of other elements to good control as well. 
For example, I am more insulin resistant in the morning, and my carb to insulin ratio is different... It may also be useful for him to talk to other patients with diabetes, and swap hints and tips etc


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## Martin Canty (Aug 10, 2016)

Dais99 said:


> Sometimes his mood swings are ridiculous and I just want to help


I hear you, for a while, before DX I was quite unpleasant..... then as I brought my BG under control I became way more even tempered.


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## Copepod (Aug 10, 2016)

I agree that mentioning DAFNE (Dose Adjustment For Normal Eating) course to your boyfriend is a good idea. He'd have to get a place through his diabetes clinic. Usually, it's 5 days, either a working week or one day a week over a few weeks. Usually, partners can attend for a session (half day) towards end of course, but not for the whole course, as it's mainly about learning to manage own diabetes. I've never been offered a palce at a suitable time tp fit in with my work schedule.


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