# Dont know what to do anymore



## MeanMom (Mar 7, 2011)

another day off school due to K's eyes and I dont know what to do for the best?And now she has gotten cross with me 'cos she says I wont sit with her but would rather be on the computer! I was trying to be 'cruel to be kind' - if I sit and cuddle her all day (what she wants me to do) and play on the Wii if her eyes feel better in the pm, she's not going to want to go to school tomorrow, is she? 
She cant stay off school til her eyes get 'better'  'cos thats not happening any day soon (though a rainy day would help) so I think she should go and at least be able to do some lessons. But K is a perfectionist and hates not to give everything 100% - she'd rather not do it at all 

I know she is scared of falling down the stairs at school or the bus, but the school are supposed to help her (she is on the SEN register) and they do if she asks, but they dont know what she needs help with, only she does as it varies each day. Its such a big school the teachers are bound to forget sometimes too - both her problems being 'invisible' ones.

The psyhchologist has said (during a previous 'wobbly') dont force her to school if she doesnt feel up to it, but she had been doing so well, I dont want to go back to the 'dark days' when she couldnt leave my side let alone go to school.

Dont know if the right way is to carry on being 'MeanMom' or crumble and be the softy I really am. Sorry for Rant - thanks for 'listening'


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## Robster65 (Mar 7, 2011)

Hi Meanmom. What a dilemma.

Could you get some work sent round from school so at least she can be doing schoolwork rather than feeling she's on a mini-holiday ?

As for the clingy-ness, could you set her some tasks to do on her own (not sure how able she is at the mo) while you leave her to it ?

I would suggest meanmom with a little bit of pampering in between once the tasks are complete (though subtley done maybe?).

Rob


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## Pumper_Sue (Mar 7, 2011)

Could you contact the education dept, and ask for a home tutor for your daughter?


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## bev (Mar 7, 2011)

Hi MeanMom,

I cant remember what the problem is with K's eyes. I am in the 'dont pamper them' camp - so if Alex is off School - he doesnt get to do all the 'nice' things - he is allowed to be bored. I dont think it is beneficial to a child to get into the habit of being off School - so making it too 'nice' for them just doesnt help.Bev


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## Catwoman76 (Mar 7, 2011)

MeanMom said:


> another day off school due to K's eyes and I dont know what to do for the best?And now she has gotten cross with me 'cos she says I wont sit with her but would rather be on the computer! I was trying to be 'cruel to be kind' - if I sit and cuddle her all day (what she wants me to do) and play on the Wii if her eyes feel better in the pm, she's not going to want to go to school tomorrow, is she?
> She cant stay off school til her eyes get 'better'  'cos thats not happening any day soon (though a rainy day would help) so I think she should go and at least be able to do some lessons. But K is a perfectionist and hates not to give everything 100% - she'd rather not do it at all
> 
> I know she is scared of falling down the stairs at school or the bus, but the school are supposed to help her (she is on the SEN register) and they do if she asks, but they dont know what she needs help with, only she does as it varies each day. Its such a big school the teachers are bound to forget sometimes too - both her problems being 'invisible' ones.
> ...



Don't worry about 'ranting' you deserve to feel the way you do.  It must be so frustrating for you, do you give in to her to help her feel secure and loved, or go on the harder side.  I wouldn't go on the harder side myself, the idea of contacting the education dept or school is a good idea for homework. 
If she is off school, then could you try to set her some tasks to do and if she manages it and doesn't moan or complain, you could give reward stickers or a few pence for something she is saving up for.  It's fine for us to give advice and ideas but the majority of us really don't have this problem.
There is a male parent on here who has problems with his daughter, maybe with  your two heads together you could help one another.  I really hope you find some peace with a difficult situation.  Take care and best wishes Sheena x


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