# Having a good cry tonight..



## Lizzy78 (Nov 28, 2018)

Would just like to thank everyone for their kind posts so far. Was diagnosed on the 12th of this month and have been trying to stay positive so far for me and my family. 

Tonight I have to admit I've just had a big cry to myself. All so overwhelming. Just feel lost and can't concentrate on anything.


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## SB2015 (Nov 28, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> Would just like to thank everyone for their kind posts so far. Was diagnosed on the 12th of this month and have been trying to stay positive so far for me and my family.
> 
> Tonight I have to admit I've just had a big cry to myself. All so overwhelming. Just feel lost and can't concentrate on anything.


Hi Lizzy.  You have had a big shock, you are taking in a lot of knew info, finding out about a new way of life, as well as managing all that you did before.  It is not surprising that you have had a big cry, and this is a good place to say, as we really do understand what you are giong through.  It will get easier, but don’t worry about coming on here for a good rant, moan, cry, ...  

A BIG HUG from me.


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## Lucy Honeychurch (Nov 28, 2018)

Big hug from me too x
It's such a shock and big adjustment, the same as a bereavement. We're all here to help you through it x


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## Robin (Nov 28, 2018)

Hugs from me too, it’s not surprising, you’ve got a lot to take in and learn, while trying to keep a family together. Remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint, take it a chunk at a time and you’ll get there.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 28, 2018)

SB2015 said:


> Hi Lizzy.  You have had a big shock, you are taking in a lot of knew info, finding out about a new way of life, as well as managing all that you did before.  It is not surprising that you have had a big cry, and this is a good place to say, as we really do understand what you are giong through.  It will get easier, but don’t worry about coming on here for a good rant, moan, cry, ...
> 
> A BIG HUG from me.



Thanks SB. I'm just a bit all over the place at the moment..It's good to know there is support here.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 28, 2018)

Lucy Honeychurch said:


> Big hug from me too x
> It's such a shock and big adjustment, the same as a bereavement. We're all here to help you through it x



Thanks Lucy.

It does feel like a bereavement. My life as I have always known it  is now gone.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 28, 2018)

Robin said:


> Hugs from me too, it’s not surprising, you’ve got a lot to take in and learn, while trying to keep a family together. Remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint, take it a chunk at a time and you’ll get there.



Thanks for your kind words Robin. Just feel like everything is on hold for me now.


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## Tickledpinknot (Nov 28, 2018)

Hope you can find a peaceful way for the future. Be kind to yourself as you realise what works for you.
I was diagnosed 9 months ago and am only recently feeling confident about making decisions about daily management.
It will get easier. Take care xx


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 28, 2018)

Tickledpinknot said:


> Hope you can find a peaceful way for the future. Be kind to yourself as you realise what works for you.
> I was diagnosed 9 months ago and am only recently feeling confident about making decisions about daily management.
> It will get easier. Take care xx



Thank you. I'm just pinning my hopes on the notion that time is going to be the best teacher.


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## eggyg (Nov 28, 2018)

I’m probably one of a handful of people who knew I would ‘ get’ diabetes. I had had most of my pancreas removed so the probability was quite high. Even so when three years after my op I was told I was diabetic, I still was in shock and confused and all the things you are going through. What you are feeling is perfectly normal and having a good cry is par for the course. I still throw my rattle out of the pram on occasions and I am 8 years down the road. You’ve joined the right place, ask us anything, someone will know the answer or point you in the right direction. Diabetes will soon be the new “ normal” for you and your family. Elaine.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 28, 2018)

eggyg said:


> I’m probably one of a handful of people who knew I would ‘ get’ diabetes. I had had most of my pancreas removed so the probability was quite high. Even so when three years after my op I was told I was diabetic, I still was in shock and confused and all the things you are going through. What you are feeling is perfectly normal and having a good cry is par for the course. I still throw my rattle out of the pram on occasions and I am 8 years down the road. You’ve joined the right place, ask us anything, someone will know the answer or point you in the right direction. Diabetes will soon be the new “ normal” for you and your family. Elaine.



Thanks Elaine..very kind and reassuring words. I am in shock at the minute I think. It's going to take time to sink in.


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## Sharron1 (Nov 28, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> Would just like to thank everyone for their kind posts so far. Was diagnosed on the 12th of this month and have been trying to stay positive so far for me and my family.
> 
> Tonight I have to admit I've just had a big cry to myself. All so overwhelming. Just feel lost and can't concentrate on anything.


It is overwhelming, but take your time. Keep posting on the forum.I have found it such a great help.


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## trophywench (Nov 29, 2018)

You say you feel your life is on hold - so make plans to restart it - not immediately but you need to start planning it!


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## Wirrallass (Nov 29, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> Would just like to thank everyone for their kind posts so far. Was diagnosed on the 12th of this month and have been trying to stay positive so far for me and my family.
> 
> Tonight I have to admit I've just had a big cry to myself. All so overwhelming. Just feel lost and can't concentrate on anything.


It's ok to have a good cry Lizzy ~ it's a release valve to what you are experiencing. Being diagnosed comes as a shock and is a daunting prospect but fear not hun coz we as a forum are here to escort you on your diabetes journey so you're not alone. Be gentle with yourself. Take care and look after yourself. (((Hugs))) x
 
Tap to enlarge.

WL


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## Carlos (Nov 29, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> Would just like to thank everyone for their kind posts so far. Was diagnosed on the 12th of this month and have been trying to stay positive so far for me and my family.
> 
> Tonight I have to admit I've just had a big cry to myself. All so overwhelming. Just feel lost and can't concentrate on anything.



Crying is good. It will get easier sooner than you think.

When I was diagnosed I was in the last year of my degree, and one of the things that helped me was the idea that I had lots of things to do, so diabetes was just something I had to get on with to be able to do those things. Focus on what you have to live for, your diabetes is just a side show to that. I did get down and scared at times, but I didn't allow that to dominate my life, and focusing on my goals helped with that.

I have always been a big heavy metal fan, and there was this band called Helloween. They were big in the late 80s, but in the early 90s they released two rather poor albums. They eventually fired their singer, and released a new album about the time I was diagnosed. My brother got the CD and brought it for me to the hospital, and it was so good, their best to date. I remember sitting in my room listening to it, and the last song came up. It is called Still we Go, full of energy and optimism, and it really helped, I may need injections of insulin for life, but life is much more than that, so still I go. And I did cry listening to that song.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

Thank you all for your lovely comments. Hearing about all your experiences is a real help. I had a better day today, seen the dietician this morning who ran through a lot of stuff, then popped in to say hi to all my work colleagues this afternoon. Hopefully I will feel a lot more comfortable with this condition as time goes on, I guess it's all very early days for me. And it's good to know there is a lot of support from people here who know exactly what I am going through.


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## SB2015 (Nov 29, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> Thank you all for your lovely comments. Hearing about all your experiences is a real help. I had a better day today, seen the dietician this morning who ran through a lot of stuff, then popped in to say hi to all my work colleagues this afternoon. Hopefully I will feel a lot more comfortable with this condition as time goes on, I guess it's all very early days for me. And it's good to know there is a lot of support from people here who know exactly what I am going through.



Glad to hear that today has been better.  You will get used to this new normal life, but it does take time.

Great that you were able to pop in and see your colleagues.
That is one step taken and may well make it easier when you get back to work. When you are ready to do that you could talk to them about a phased return.  Any questions about that just ask.


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## zuludog (Nov 29, 2018)

There's nothing wrong with having a good cry now and again, as long as it is now and again, and you don't let it take over your life

No one knows exactly why, but people with diabetes are more prone to depression/worry/anxiety or a feeling of looking over your shoulder all the time, but you're not quite sure what for

Once you're aware of this, worrying about being worried becomes less worrying, and you can start to do something about it


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## Matt Cycle (Nov 29, 2018)

Hi Lizzy.  It's a big shock at first but it'll definitely become routine and soon you'll be managing it without even thinking about it.  I've been told  I'm a bit of a whittler but I'm just an ordinary person with T1 and in 32 years can honestly say it's never stopped me from doing anything.  From sky diving in New Zealand, Inter-Railing across Europe, music festivals, cycling every week, bringing up my two lovely daughters to normal 'boring' everyday things like going to work and shopping etc.

Keep posting and asking questions or having a rant or celebrating successes as most of us will have been there at one time or another.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

SB2015 said:


> Glad to hear that today has been better.  You will get used to this new normal life, but it does take time.
> 
> Great that you were able to pop in and see your colleagues.
> That is one step taken and may well make it easier when you get back to work. When you are ready to do that you could talk to them about a phased return.  Any questions about that just ask.



Thanks SB

I work 4 days a week, and thankfully I have lovely supportive colleagues and quite a routined working day, so I am lucky in that sense. I have been off work 2 weeks now but I think I am going to ask my gp for another week or two just to keep adapting to everything and to feel a bit more confident when I return.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

zuludog said:


> There's nothing wrong with having a good cry now and again, as long as it is now and again, and you don't let it take over your life
> 
> No one knows exactly why, but people with diabetes are more prone to depression/worry/anxiety or a feeling of looking over your shoulder all the time, but you're not quite sure what for
> 
> Once you're aware of this, worrying about being worried becomes less worrying, and you can start to do something about it



Thanks zuludog.

I do tend to worry about things a bit more than the average person, but I won't let it take over my life. I have lots of support aswell, which is all I can ask for (well apart from a new pancreas).


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

Matt Cycle said:


> Hi Lizzy.  It's a big shock at first but it'll definitely become routine and soon you'll be managing it without even thinking about it.  I've been told  I'm a bit of a whittler but I'm just an ordinary person with T1 and in 32 years can honestly say it's never stopped me from doing anything.  From sky diving in New Zealand, Inter-Railing across Europe, music festivals, cycling every week, bringing up my two lovely daughters to normal 'boring' everyday things like going to work and shopping etc.
> 
> Keep posting and asking questions or having a rant or celebrating successes as most of us will have been there at one time or another.



Hi Matt. Thanks for your kind words. That's good to know that you have not let it stop you living your life. That was one of my main concerns, I like to walk, play some sports, and only recently started some introductory hillwalking. So I have no real idea where to start with those kinds of activities, because even some basic physical activity at the moment - housework, walking to the shops, is making my levels drop a little. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it all eventually when I find out how my body reacts to everything.


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## Carlos (Nov 29, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> Thanks zuludog.
> 
> I do tend to worry about things a bit more than the average person, but I won't let it take over my life. I have lots of support aswell, which is all I can ask for (well apart from a new pancreas).



That's the right attitude, you are not diabetic, you have diabetes, if you see what I mean.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

Carlos said:


> That's the right attitude, you are not diabetic, you have diabetes, if you see what I mean.



Thanks Carlos. I know exactly what you mean. If I can get the mindset right then hopefully it makes things easier.


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## zuludog (Nov 29, 2018)

LIZZY78 - here are a couple of suggestions for starting hillwalking

You'll probably like this website - www.walkingforum.co.uk

Get the Ordnance Survey map of the area where you live, even if it's a town or city, or a fairly flat district. Then you will start to see how features are shown on a map, estimate distances, find interesting features, and make up your own routes. This will all be useful when you go to higher and more remote country.  it will also enable you to judge your own fitness and capability An Explorer will show more detail, so get that for your own area, but a Landranger is OK once you've got used to hiking
This is a good supplier for maps - www.dash4it.co.uk
Most towns have odd historic features, like old houses, churches, and pubs; why not do a walk to see them; you've probably known about them for years but never got round to it; now's your chance!

Search YouTube for 'starting hiking' and 'starting hillwalking' As with many things on YT, the videos might not be exactly what you want and/or might be American, but it is all useful homework

Start out easy and take plenty of food including sweets, biscuits, & chocolate in case you get hypos. In fact this will probably help you to recognise the onset of a hypo. Info & advice on what to wear is easy to find, but a hot drink is a good idea for this time of the year

You could take a meter and test to see how your blood glucose drops with distance & exercise

I was diagnosed 20 years ago and still go hiking & backpacking.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

Zuludog 

That's awesome, thank you so much. I live in Scotland, and the week before I ended up in hospital, i had just done my first wee hill, Ben A'An. (I now know why I struggled so much with it as my blood sugars were through the roof). So as I say I was just at the starting out stage, so my plan was to start doing some walks around say a country park, were there are plenty people and I can sit down and check my sugars. Hopefully once I get a handle on what to do, I can start looking at the hills again.


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## zuludog (Nov 29, 2018)

That's the idea. Once you've got used to the country park you could try the easier , earlier stretches of the West Highland Way in the spring


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

zuludog said:


> That's the idea. Once you've got used to the country park you could try the easier , earlier stretches of the West Highland Way in the spring



That's definitely the plan going forward. I have a whole load of new walking clothes that have only been worn once, and I aim to get the use of them!


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## eggyg (Nov 29, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> Hi Matt. Thanks for your kind words. That's good to know that you have not let it stop you living your life. That was one of my main concerns, I like to walk, play some sports, and only recently started some introductory hillwalking. So I have no real idea where to start with those kinds of activities, because even some basic physical activity at the moment - housework, walking to the shops, is making my levels drop a little. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it all eventually when I find out how my body reacts to everything.


I am a regular fell walker and am lucky enough to live in Cumbria so often pop to the Lake District and climb a Wainwright or three. My avatar pic was taken on my 58th birthday this year at my second Wainwright of the day, I did three altogether. I refuse to let my condition stop me doing what I want, it just takes some thought. I was wearing a Freestyle Libre that day, a constant glucose monitor which I self fund on occasion, and I had a pocket full of jelly babies! Spontaneity doesn’t play a big part in my life or any other diabetic, but you get used to it, it’s all about being organised and as a self confessed control freak it suits me down to the ground! You are possible still in the honeymoon period where your pancreas is still spluttering out some insulin which may explain the lows you are getting, also I would imagine you are on a set amount of insulin at the moment, that will be tweaked when you learn how to carb count, I am getting ahead of myself here but wanted you to know it won’t always be like that, I don’t want you to loose confidence in doing things you enjoy. Believe me, a few months down the line you will be almost an expert!


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

eggyg said:


> I am a regular fell walker and am lucky enough to live in Cumbria so often pop to the Lake District and climb a Wainwright or three. My avatar pic was taken on my 58th birthday this year at my second Wainwright of the day, I did three altogether. I refuse to let my condition stop me doing what I want, it just takes some thought. I was wearing a Freestyle Libre that day, a constant glucose monitor which I self fund on occasion, and I had a pocket full of jelly babies! Spontaneity doesn’t play a big part in my life or any other diabetic, but you get used to it, it’s all about being organised and as a self confessed control freak it suits me down to the ground! You are possible still in the honeymoon period where your pancreas is still spluttering out some insulin which may explain the lows you are getting, also I would imagine you are on a set amount of insulin at the moment, that will be tweaked when you learn how to carb count, I am getting ahead of myself here but wanted you to know it won’t always be like that, I don’t want you to loose confidence in doing things you enjoy. Believe me, a few months down the line you will be almost an expert!



I was going to ask you last night what hill that was in your avatar pic! And you're definitely right, I just need to put myself out there and try things and see what works for me. My DSN told me I was probably in my honeymoon period, so a lot still to take into consideration. But I love being outdoors so much, so not going to let it dampen my spirits. How does the libre work then? Can you buy it for a certain time period or for certain activities. My DSN said I might qualify for one within the next year through the NHS.


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## eggyg (Nov 29, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> I was going to ask you last night what hill that was in your avatar pic! And you're definitely right, I just need to put myself out there and try things and see what works for me. My DSN told me I was probably in my honeymoon period, so a lot still to take into consideration. But I love being outdoors so much, so not going to let it dampen my spirits. How does the libre work then? Can you buy it for a certain time period or for certain activities. My DSN said I might qualify for one within the next year through the NHS.


The sensor costs about £50 as does the reader which is a one off, I do believe you can read the sensors with a phone but that’s beyond my paygrade! The sensors last for 2 weeks, as long as you don’t knock them off. There’s loads on the forum about them, just put Libre in the search link or google it. I don’t think I would qualify not that I have asked, I can afford it and would rather the kids who need it got it first. I don’t use one all the time as I am quite confident in my carb counting/insulin dose ability and my Hba1c is pretty good.  I also love being outside and my hubby and I walk for miles, we don’t always do fells, my hubby has had 6 heart attacks and we are now retired so he loves to walk to help with his fitness. It doesn’t matter that it takes us probably 3 times longer than “ normal” folks to climb a fell or walk around a lake, it’s not a race, a bit like diabetes, I’m sure you will have been told it’s a marathon not a sprint! Good luck.


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 29, 2018)

eggyg said:


> The sensor costs about £50 as does the reader which is a one off, I do believe you can read the sensors with a phone but that’s beyond my paygrade! The sensors last for 2 weeks, as long as you don’t knock them off. There’s loads on the forum about them, just put Libre in the search link or google it. I don’t think I would qualify not that I have asked, I can afford it and would rather the kids who need it got it first. I don’t use one all the time as I am quite confident in my carb counting/insulin dose ability and my Hba1c is pretty good.  I also love being outside and my hubby and I walk for miles, we don’t always do fells, my hubby has had 6 heart attacks and we are now retired so he loves to walk to help with his fitness. It doesn’t matter that it takes us probably 3 times longer than “ normal” folks to climb a fell or walk around a lake, it’s not a race, a bit like diabetes, I’m sure you will have been told it’s a marathon not a sprint! Good luck.


 
Cheers for the info regarding the libre, will have a look for some more info. 

And I have similar thoughts, I walk to relax and enjoy myself, not to race. I'm sure I will get there.


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## SB2015 (Nov 29, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> so my plan was to start doing some walks around say a country park, were there are plenty people and I can sit down and check my sugars. Hopefully once I get a handle on what to do, I can start looking at the hills again.


A nice sit mat in your bag/back pack gives you a dry place to sit and do your blood test.

If you feel hypo stop straight away and test.  Better to catch it early than try to keep going.
If you are hypo make sure you wait a while, and get BGs back up.
I carry a  book and/or sketch book and give myself time.


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## zuludog (Nov 29, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> That's definitely the plan going forward. I have a whole load of new walking clothes that have only been worn once, and I aim to get the use of them!



I hear they sometimes get snow in Scotland. You might just need your hiking boots & clothes to go to the shops


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 30, 2018)

SB2015 said:


> A nice sit mat in your bag/back pack gives you a dry place to sit and do your blood test.
> 
> If you feel hypo stop straight away and test.  Better to catch it early than try to keep going.
> If you are hypo make sure you wait a while, and get BGs back up.
> I carry a  book and/or sketch book and give myself time.



Good advice, a sitting mat is something I haven't invested in!


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 30, 2018)

zuludog said:


> I hear they sometimes get snow in Scotland. You might just need your hiking boots & clothes to go to the shops



This is a true story! It's been blowing a gale all night!


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## SB2015 (Nov 30, 2018)

Lizzy78 said:


> Good advice, a sitting mat is something I haven't invested in!


Mine moves from back pack to bag as necessary, and makes a hypo a lot more comfortable!!


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## Lucy Honeychurch (Nov 30, 2018)

SB2015 said:


> Mine moves from back pack to bag as necessary, and makes a hypo a lot more comfortable!!



I need to get one of these, great idea, thanks!


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## Lizzy78 (Nov 30, 2018)

Definitely going to invest in one too!


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