# The London Marathon according to Hobson.



## Chris Hobson (May 5, 2019)

*Winning the ballot.*
I started running a year or two after my diagnosis in 2013. starting with parkruns, I gradually worked my way up to longer distances and did my first marathon in Hull in 2016. Once I had reached marathon distance I started entering the ballot for the London Marathon safe in the knowledge that there was no chance that I would ever get in. If I must do a marathon, a local one in Hull or York involves a lot less travelling and a lot less expense so it wasn't that much of an issue. So it was with mixed feelings that I greeted the news that I had been awarded a place. As a consequence of me getting in, wife Liz put her name down for the one place that had been awarded to her running club. There were only two girls who were eligible for that place and it was Liz who was drawn out of the hat. It was very good fortune that we both got in on the same year, which god should we thank? Mercury maybe?
*Preparation.*
The London Marathon being so early in the season means that your build up has to start when it is cold, dark and often raining. The dedicated running nutter isn't going to let these problems get in the way of the training when we have indoor running tracks, treadmills and head-torches but it is hard not to admit that this kind of training is the opposite of fun. As the days started to get longer the long runs got easier to fit in and we both started to build up our distances. I have an additional problem which appears to be diabetes related which is that my blood pressure drops whenever I try to train. This problem comes and goes seemingly at random, when it is present I feel as though I'm dragging a big rock behind me as I'm running, the upside is that I feel as though I'm really flying when it goes off. Unfortunately, with about a month to go, Liz and I were both zapped by a really nasty flu bug which involved feeling totally terrible for about a week followed by a week of feeling slightly rough and chesty. Once over the flu we had both taken a week off in order to rebuild our kitchen thinking that we would be tapering by then so we would be only doing short gentle runs. As it turned out we did hardly any training during the last month before the event. We were left hoping that our generally good fitness level would get us through.
*Train rides.*
We decided to travel down on the train rather than driving. No problems with parking and a much more relaxing journey home. Hull Trains had services to and from Kings Cross that didn't involve having to make any changes. The downside being that Hull Trains run slightly old trains and have a bit of a reputation for cancelling services. On this weekend we had no problems and HT provided an excellent service both ways. We travelled down on the Friday and, on arrival in London, went straight to registration to pick up our race numbers and timing chips. This of course involved deciphering the route maps relating to the London Underground and the Docklands Light Railway.

Because we had arrived at a quiet time, registration was very quick and efficient. Liz and her sister Jill then insisted on dragging me around the Expo looking at running shoes and sampling bits of cereal bars.
*Hotels.*
We had originally booked an Air BNB but our hosts cancelled on us. Instead we booked into a Premier Inn. This might have been a blessing in disguise because we were very well looked after. The hotel was full of marathon runners and they put on an early breakfast on Sunday morning with additional carby things such as porridge on the menu.
*Casing the joint.*
We had lots of time to kill on Saturday so we walked to Greenwich to have a look at the start area. There were three start routes, colour coded red, blue and green. We were starting in the blue area in zone 8. we were hoping to take a look at the layout so that we would know where to go on Sunday morning but not much of the stuff had been set up by this time.
*London transport.*
Having left the car behind at Hull Paragon Station, we were relying on the Tube and the Docklands Light Railway to get us around. Locals generally seemed to be using phone technology or Oyster Cards to pay for their journeys. Being in London for just a few days we just bought regular tickets from ticket machines. The tickets are used to operate barriers that go in and out of the Underground stations and you have them inspected from time to time while on the trains. Working out your route from the classic maps of the network can be a bit of a challenge but we managed OK without getting lost or getting on the wrong train. I was quite impressed with the DLR which goes underground from time to time but mostly travels on the surface often quite high up so that there is a good view of the city. The DLR was built in the late 1980s and the little boxy trains are completely automatic.
*Waiting for the off.*
We were up early on Sunday morning and after devouring a big buffet breakfast we walked to the park in Greenwich to find our start area. We were on the lookout for a blue blimp but were walking among the trees to begin with and couldn't see it. Once we came out of the trees we spotted it and got ourselves into the blue zone to begin the task of checking in our bags, queuing for portaloos and staying out of the wind which was a little cold. The conditions were ideal for running but a little cool for the waiting around beforehand. Our daughter Hannah and Liz's sister Jill had come down to offer their support and messaged us to tell us that they had located themselves on the left hand side just before the Cutty Sark or, thanks to auto correct, the Curry Shark. The next stage for us was when zone 8 was opened up, a few minutes late but, considering that thousands had already been corralled and sent on their way before us, impressively close to being on time. The gates to our zone would only be open for about ten minutes so we needed to get ourselves in there quite promptly. Once inside, after a bit of waiting around, we saw the zone ahead of us setting off and we were moved down toward the start line.
*Finally underway.*
Once we got going Liz and I ran together for a short while but I soon felt the need to up my pace just a little so I started to move ahead. Because of the vast numbers at this event, the runners are started on three separate branches that merge together a mile or two down the line. My memory of the early part of the run is of a suburban landscape and a guy in an inflatable T. Rex costume.
*The run.*
I had been advised to wear a tee shirt with my name on it and was rewarded for doing so with frequent shouts of encouragement from the huge crowds. It is odd that my first reaction is to think that someone that I know is calling out to me, I tried to acknowledge each one with a wave or a thank you. I passed a guy who was wearing a karaoke machine and singing into it. The karaoke runner is mentioned in the book Accidental Ironman in an account of the London Marathon, I wondered if it was the same guy. Having managed two number twos before leaving the hotel, I thought that I would be OK as far as toilet breaks went, but as I was running along, number two number three started working its way towards the back door. There were sets of portaloos at frequent intervals along the route but always with long queues, at this point the problem wasn't too urgent and so I pressed on. Eventually I came to a set of loos with a smaller queue and, worried that I might not make it to the next set I stopped and joined the line. I lost about ten minutes before re-joining the run, not a big problem on such a long race really. I also made up a bit of time due to the brief rest quickening my pace slightly. Up to the break I was doing 1K splits close to 6:40 and had been very consistent. For a few Ks after the break I was nearer to six minutes.

My memory of the whole run was of constantly having to work my way past slower runners and people who were walking. Some were taking selfies or constantly fiddling with their phones which an oldie like me finds very strange. I'm a very average runner, not even a good age grouper, so I found the fact that I was constantly overtaking people a bit of a puzzle. Surely at this rate I'm eventually going to work my way to the front and win. There were lots of runners dressed as rhinos, I was passing them for the entire run, it seems to me that the best way to save the rhinos would be to dump large quantities of cheap Viagra into any market where idiots think that rhino horn will give them a boner.

I was initially very confused by the pacers. These are runners who carry a banner with a finish time on it. Those who are aiming for a specific time can run along with the pacer and, as long as they can keep up, can be assured of achieving their target time. The confusion arose because of the massively staggered start times. It took me a while even to realise that the banners were colour coded for the three start routes. Because of the different start times, the different finish times on the banners were hopelessly jumbled up and it eventually dawned on me that those who wished to make use of a pacer would have had to cross the start line with him and then stick to him for the entire run. Along the way, I sometimes try to take people's minds off their mutual suffering by singing loudly and badly although I think that I am reasonably in tune. My favourite number is Put another log on the fire:

'Put another log on the fire – Cook me up some bacon and some beans – Go out to the car and change the tyre – wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans – C'mon baby you can fill my pipe and then go fetch my slippers – boil me up another pot of tea – Then put another log on the fire babe – Then come and tell me why you're leaving me.

This got a little bit of a laugh. Then we have the first line of Billy Ocean's Love Really Hurts:
You run around town like a fool and you think that it's groovy. When we went under a bridge I sang Under The Bridge And then just after Tower bridge I lead a half hearted sing song of Living on a Prayer which of course has the line 'Oh We're half way there' in it.

As mentioned above, my training for this event was interrupted by a nasty bout of flu when there was only about four weeks to go, this involved a week off work and an additional week to get fully over it. I also have my intermittent problem which involves my blood pressure being too low when I'm running, which makes the run very hard work. The intermittent blood pressure problem was fortunately absent on the day. The run went very well despite the messed up preparation, the wheels finally came off about mile 22 when my legs really started to hurt. Other people have said that when the going got tough for them, the enthusiastic support from the huge noisy crowds kept them going. For me it was the opposite. Once I had entered the uncomfortable phase of the run, I went into full grumpy mode, The constant shouting and whooping started to totally get on my tits. So I'm struggling along in constant pain, boiling with hate thinking 'can't you idiots just shut up for five effing minutes?'. Looking back, maybe they did keep me going by giving me something to focus on even if it was a bit on the negative side.

Around mile 24, I stopped running and walked for about a half K. This was the only time that anyone overtook me, people who were still running came pouring past. I took a few moments to look at the scenery and take in the atmosphere before forcing myself to get running again. At this point the dreaded cramp started threatening me with a nasty twinge appearing at the very top of my left calf muscle. Fortunately it never developed into anything bad and I was able to carry on without a problem. The final couple of miles seemed to take forever, it is interesting that the miles and Ks seem to be so much longer at this point, though it is obvious why. On the last K there are markers every 200 metres telling you how far you have to go. I'm not sure whether these are a help or a hindrance really but I finally saw the finish arch and crossed the line.
*Recovering.*
Once you have crossed the finish line it isn't quite over because, with thousands of runners behind you, you have to keep walking through the finish area. It isn't really over until you have collected your medal, your tee shirt, your goody bag and the bag that has all of your own crap in it. Once out of the finish area I laid down on a patch of slightly sloping grass but was being threatened with attacks of cramp all the time. I searched for somewhere that I could sit down and settled on the steps of a war memorial. At this point it is important to get some nutrition inside you, the problem being that you really don't feel like eating anything. I downed a Weetabix on the go milkshake and an apple that came in my goody bag, it was a nice apple but it tasted like wood and I had to force it down. Gradually I came back to life and changed out of my sweaty gear and wandered off to the Admiralty Arch to meet up with Hannah and Jill and wait for Liz to finish. She may have been about an hour behind me but Liz got to the finish in rather better shape than I did. We then had to get onto the tube and the DLR to get back to our hotel. London transport is free to marathon runners on race day, I don't suppose this concession costs them anything due to all the extra business the event brings in.
*Premier Inn service.*
In the evening we made our way down to the restaurant at the inn and ordered drinks and our evening meal. While we were waiting for our food to arrive, Liz suddenly felt very faint and had to be helped back to our room for a lie down. The waiter then immediately volunteered to have all our meals and drinks delivered to our room. By the time the food arrived Liz had started to perk up and, once she got some food inside her, she was feeling OK. The Premier Inn staff went out of their way to look after the marathon runners and I really can't praise them enough. We left them a decent tip.
*Homeward bound.*
Making our way home via the tube, the DLR and the train, we saw lots of marathoners. Lots of them were wearing their tee shirts or their finishers' medals, some were just doing that stiff legged walk. The train was on time and efficient and we made it home without drama.
*Stiffness and the charity stuff.*
I was a little stiff after the event but I was back to normal after about three days. Our charity, Castaway is likely to be about a thousand quid better off thanks to our efforts, so we can call that a win. The London marathon is special in this way. Such is its connection with charity fundraising that people are more than usually keen to chip in.
*That unfortunate bet.*
Back in the 1990s, slightly cuddly couch potato Liz was watching the London Marathon on the telly. Bear in mind that the last time she had done any actual exercise was when she was at school, she tended to prefer watching other people exercise, either on the telly or on the rugby pitch. Watching the hoards of ordinary folk taking part, she idly mused that maybe she should enter the London Marathon. My reaction was to say something to the effect of 'If you run the London Marathon I will run bare-ar$ed up Whitefriargate on a Saturday Morning'. Whitefriargate, pronounced White-fri-gate is a busy shopping street in Hull. I could not possibly have predicted that, twenty years later, she would be talked into joining a running club by her sister. Even then, the chances of her running a marathon was still vanishingly small. In fact, London was her third marathon as she has already done Hull and York. At the moment I am spending every waking hour installing a new kitchen. Once that is sorted, it will be time to dig out the waxing strips and the thong in preparation for the White-fri-gate bare botty sprint. No one could ever accuse us of living a boring life.


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## trophywench (May 5, 2019)

Brilliant, both of you, Chris!  Well done.

Many a guffaw reading your account, and Yes!  We do need photographic confirmation from Liz that your debt is paid!!


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## Northerner (May 6, 2019)

Excellent account Chris!  Well done to you and Liz - I will await the account in the Hull Daily Mail of your run/streak up Whitefriargate!


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## Grannylorraine (May 6, 2019)

Lovely write up Chris.


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## eggyg (May 6, 2019)

Fantastic account Chris, and well done to you and Liz, I struggle to run a bath these days!


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## Chris Hobson (May 6, 2019)

I've been having a look at the stats and have worked out that I had about two thirds of the field ahead of me and about one third behind.

Overall, 28,218/42,428
Male 60-65 category, 499/764

I am also informed that I passed 4,453 people, it seemed as though there were a lot more.


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