# Life with Nathan .. teenager .. type 1 diabetic



## sasha1

Hi All...

I have been toying with this idea for a few weeks .. and spoke to Northerner about it first ... to ask for his opinion and thoughts ..

Over the past few weeks we have had many more parents join the forum with children newly diagnosed or have been for some time.  It saddened me to hear how isolated they feel and totally lost with the diagnosis.  I can relate 110% to how they feel as all the parents on here.

So it struck me .. why don't I start a thread ..  Life with Nathan .. Teenager .. Type 1 Diabetic.

What I want to do ... is to use this as a diary kind of thing charting the ups and downs, highs, lows and every possible aspect of having a teenager with diabetes.. I will be as honest, truthful and open .. but mainly positive .. If I have a nightmare of a day with Nathan with either teenage angst or diabetes angst I will post it ... on the other side if its been a brilliant day I will post again .. Fair enough I have only had 2 and a half years experience .. but have gained an awful lot of understanding and knowledge.

The idea of this is to show newly diagnosed parents that while yes life will change .. its not the end of it and you will get through it and like me probably wonder how at some stage.

I would also like for other parents to post there experiences of life with their children ... We have fantastic parents on here .. with a wealth of knowledge and understanding of children being diagnosed at all ages and for varying length of times.

Look forward to reading you posts etc.... 

Heidi
xx


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## Carynb

What a great idea! Just what I need that's for sure.

C xx


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## Steff

Heidi what a totally amazing idea hun just what all the parents etc need , can it be made a sticky thread then ? x


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## sasha1

steff09 said:


> Heidi what a totally amazing idea hun just what all the parents etc need , can it be made a sticky thread then ? x




Hi Hun ....

I'm sure Northerner said he would make it a sticky thread .... 

OOOOOO ... I also meant to say .... It would also be great to hear from our teenagers on the forum or if diagnosed as a child to give us parents there side of things and input ... this I know would be valuable knowledge to me and I'm sure other parents.


Heidi
xx


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## Mand

As my son is a pre-teen i would love to read your new thread as i am sure i could learn much from it. Teenagers are difficult anyway (i have a non-diabetic 16 year old daughter) but a teenager with diabetes could bring extra difficulties.

Nice idea! Look forward to the thread if you decide to go ahead. 

Mand xx


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## sasha1

Mand said:


> As my son is a pre-teen i would love to read your new thread as i am sure i could learn much from it. Teenagers are difficult anyway (i have a non-diabetic 16 year old daughter) but a teenager with diabetes could bring extra difficulties.
> 
> Nice idea! Look forward to the thread if you decide to go ahead.
> 
> Mand xx




Hi Mand ...

Consider it done ... I think thread would be ideal and just what parents need..

Nathan was diagnosed at 11 ... 2 months before he was 12 ... so he had already shown certain hormonal changes

Heidi
xx


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## Patricia

Hi Heidi

Great idea, absolutely. Something like this is really needed, and I think it's good esp for people just coming on to see life going on...

It *is* terribly complicated, diabetes and hormones and teenage life. My son is 13, and we have lots of things going on which makes dealing with diabetes much rougher -- hopefully only for a while -- but also somehow more focused? He just seems to be more mature, know more about what's at stake, etc...

We wait for him to rebel against diabetes. Maybe he won't. I don't know. Does Nathan struggle in this way?


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## Twitchy

Great idea!!  I am sure it will be a real asset to all the other parents out there!  Nice one!


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## sasha1

Patricia said:


> Hi Heidi
> 
> Great idea, absolutely. Something like this is really needed, and I think it's good esp for people just coming on to see life going on...
> 
> It *is* terribly complicated, diabetes and hormones and teenage life. My son is 13, and we have lots of things going on which makes dealing with diabetes much rougher -- hopefully only for a while -- but also somehow more focused? He just seems to be more mature, know more about what's at stake, etc...
> 
> We wait for him to rebel against diabetes. Maybe he won't. I don't know. Does Nathan struggle in this way?




Hi Patricia ... 

Nathan ... can be an absolute star as regards to his diabetes .. he will do everything by the book .. seems to accept his diagnosis .. wants to learn more about diabetes and the impact it will have on his later life ... and when I have overheard him talking to friends about it ... He knows a damn site more than he lets on ... and that is fantastic and makes me truly proud ..
But on the flip side ... He will go out of his way to avoid injections .. blood testing .. eats just about anything he can get his hands on ... flips says he doesnt want it and unfortunately will go right out of his way to make himself ill .. Nathan at times lives for the confrontation .. although he does'nt get it form me anymore .. If he chooses to learn the hard way so be it ...  Its a kind of reverse psychology technique .. and also a big part to me in a teenage taking control of there diabetes .. He knows for example I cannot force him to take his insulin .. which he fmakes me only to aware of .. so my reply is simple and straight to the point .. I cant.. but its not me thats going to feel like crap (sorry) .. in a few hours after eating .. but when you do son .. I'll be there to help and bring you your insulin .. and if you feel really ill son I will phone the hospital and make sure a bed is available for you ... Yes I do sound hard and believe me I said a lot harder things to him ... but the reality of diabetes and complications is hard and I cant be dressed up that it will be ok if you miss injections or eat the wrong things etc..

My own view is teenagers will always rebel over issues regarding staying up late .. going out .. Xbox play time .. home work .. school .. how I've ruined his life .. lol ... so to a degree diabetes is no different most will push the boundries .. not that I want Nathan to do that .. but I think thats where the shaping of the adult comes from ..

Heidi
xx


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## Mand

Heidi, one of your fantastic qualitites is that you see things from Nathans point of view as well as a parents point of view. This is an important quality in a parent for maintaining a good relationship through the teenage years. 

I believe that you are going to survive these difficult years and if you can document that then i believe we will all learn from you.

I so look forward to your future posts. xx  xx


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## bev

Hi Heidi,
Cant add much to what everyone else has already! But just to say i think this thread will be a hit - i know i will need it when A reaches the hormone stage!

I will be reading it with interest and will add when i have any advice! Great idea - well done! What does Nathan think of it?Bev


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## PhoebeC

I think it is a great idea, the more we share our storys the more we can help each other.
Has anyone read ''No Added Sugar: Growing Up with Type 1 Diabetes (Paperback) 
by Fibi Ward (Author) ''?
I think i might buy it, even though im 20 now, its still interests me how teenagers cope .
xx


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## kimberly1.5

I'm not a teenager, but still had an interesting shock when diagnosed just a couple months ago and it was / is hard for my parents - especially as I'm living in a different country to them!  They feel helpless and confused as to why this happened to me (type 1.5 - diagnosed just before my 29th birthday)

My main tip to parents is to research it as much as possible - I went home (to america) a couple weeks ago and it was hard because my parents didn't really understand (My dad had read just enough to know all the negatives!) and was acting disappointed when I would take an injection (thinking I should just eat better and avoid the injections) but that doesn't help...!!


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## sasha1

bev said:


> Hi Heidi,
> Cant add much to what everyone else has already! But just to say i think this thread will be a hit - i know i will need it when A reaches the hormone stage!
> 
> I will be reading it with interest and will add when i have any advice! Great idea - well done! What does Nathan think of it?Bev



Hi Bev ... 

I run the idea by Nathan before I definately decided to go ahead with it ... He said " Go for it ... and he would be happy to give us his opinion and feelings on certain issues" ...  

Hope you and A ok ..

Heidi
xx


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## sasha1

Hi All ...

Thank you for all the positive responses about this thread ... 

My first posting I was going to go into how I felt for the first few months of Nathan's diagnosis ... To reassure all parents of the newly diagnosed, that how they feel know is totally natural and that they are not alone ... 

However ... During today Nathan has gone totally off on one, which is a mixture of teenage angst and diabetes getting in the way and ruining every thing for him ....

Nathan like many others goes back to school on Wednesday into year 10 ... year 4 in old money ... lol ... With this promotion to the higher ranks of the school comes along with certain privileges ... the main one ... Being allowed off school site and into town for lunch ... We had already discussed this previous to today ... to which I told Nathan I was'nt in agreement to ... many reasons where given ... diabetes was one of them yes .. because it has to be taken into consideration and how the logistics would work .. 

The reasons were ... You recieve free school lunches .. safety implications .. I'm not prepared to give you dinner money to spend on crap ... eg the town center has 4 chip shops ... greggs and 4 other sandwich/pie shops.. tesco and the co-op ... I do not agree with any child going into town for lunch ... besides most people view the town center as a no go area between 12 and 1 pm ... final reason how was the diabetes side of things going to be done ... its a good 10 min walk from the school to town ..

So I asked Nathan where was he going to wash his hands and do his insulin ... He replied "At school" ... so I asked " right son .. say you are 5 and you take your usual dose of N/R walk into town, wait to be served ... where do you think your level will be?" .... "ERRRR ... Dunno" ... "How about on the floor son" ... 
Nathan the chirpped up "Well I'll do it when I'm in town after getting my food and walking about" ... "Where will that be then son?" .... "I'll just do it in the street or or somewhere" ... I replied "No you are not son"... 
I then went on to offer 3 other solutions ... come home for dinner ... bring a friend with you ... Have your lunch at home then walk into town and back up to school .... Stay at school ... But I stressed they were the only options available ... Nathan in his wisenesss of 14 years came back with the line "You cant stop me .. I will just go anyway and then you wont know" ... With that I looked and said " I would strongly advise you not to do that .. because A, I will find out .. B, I can always be up town when its dinner time, C, I will inform school that you do not have permission to leave school for lunch .. under any circumstances .. D, I need to be able to trust you and give you the respect as a teenager you need .. but doing something like this will only reinforce the lead is to long."

So right now Nathan is upstairs having stormed out of the room like a teenager possesed shouting I've ruined his life and its all because I have diabetes .. and some random rantings... 

Heidi
xx


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## Northerner

Heidi, when I was Nathan's age we got into BIG trouble if we left the school grounds at lunchtime - there were prefects and teachers who would keep a lookout in all the likely spots. Maybe at 16 you could get away with going off to the local caf?, but not at 14, it surprises me that it's allowed. Don't the teachers have responsibility for children under 16?


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## sasha1

Northerner said:


> Heidi, when I was Nathan's age we got into BIG trouble if we left the school grounds at lunchtime - there were prefects and teachers who would keep a lookout in all the likely spots. Maybe at 16 you could get away with going off to the local caf?, but not at 14, it surprises me that it's allowed. Don't the teachers have responsibility for children under 16?



Unfortunately I went too the same school as Nathan and we were allowed the same privilege and that would have been 1984 ...  .... The school is too big to cater for all the children to have school dinners ... nor have they the resources and staff to man all the possible exits from the school ... I quiet agree with you it should not be allowed .. other than of the child is going home for lunch ... 

As for the teachers responsibility for the secondary school child .... its debateable ... to down right negligent .... I looked into this at some length when Nathan was being horrendously bullied .... I though school had a responsibility for the child till 4pm .. apparently not ... 

Heidi
xx


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## Mand

Oh Heidi, i sympathise with you. I do not think the school is being very supportive to parents in allowing the kids out so young. It is obvious that it is going to lead to problems with eating and money to fund it, even without the extra 'd' issue.

Perhaps when Nathan has time to cool down and thnk things through he will talk to you more about it. Well, it might happen! 

Let us know how things develop.


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## sasha1

Mand said:


> Oh Heidi, i sympathise with you. I do not think the school is being very supportive to parents in allowing the kids out so young. It is obvious that it is going to lead to problems with eating and money to fund it, even without the extra 'd' issue.
> 
> Perhaps when Nathan has time to cool down and thnk things through he will talk to you more about it. Well, it might happen!
> 
> Let us know how things develop.



Hi Mand ... 

I hope so ... its just tonight made him resent the fact he is diabetic ... although thats only one of the reasons I used as to why I dont want him to go into town for lunch ...

I must say the diabetes is a perfect weapon for a child/teenager to manipulate a situation .. or use it to their own advantage .. and Nathan has on many occasions used it in such a way ... Once or twice I must admit quiet cleverly ... eg ... Nathan had a detention after school one night .. fair enough ... but Nathan felt the detention was unjust .. so in his wit .. decided to be ill ... I had gone out that day and was out of reach by mobile phone reception .. only for a short time ... when it came back up I had several frantic voice mails form school informing me that Nathan nana had picked him up with a BG reading of 29 .8 ... omg ... ... when I came home Nathan looked fit as a fiddle .. So I asked him to take his BG again ... 7.3 .... mmmmmmm ....  ..... I challenged Nathan about it .. he started to cry .. and said he was sorry but .. in order to get out of the denention he has chewed a glucose tablets then licked his finger .. hence the reading ... I must say I was really cross, because this was dangerous as if school had phoned an ambulance they would have given him insulin immediately ... I made and took Nathan back to school ... explained to the year head what he had done .. all to get out of a detention .. and ordered that he do a weeks worth of after school detention as a deterrent to do something like that again ... thankfully it worked ... 

I will keep you posted on the dinner situation ..

Heidi
xx


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## Mand

How are things this morning?

Heidi, how you handled what Nathan did re detention is admirable! I take my hat off to you. (I could not help but have a secret little smile, in an affectionate way, for what Nathan did! I was thinking 'little devil'!)

*BUT* obviously this is not acceptable and, as you quite rightly said, could have had a terrible outcome if he had been given loads of insulin to bring him down! As he not pulled a trick like this again, i am presuming he has learnt his lesson! The problem with 'crying wolf' is that you might not be taken seriously another time when you really do need help!

Thank you so much for sharing this because, as my son goes through the teenage years, i can keep your story at the back of my mind and be one step ahead, should i need to be!!

I send you strength to get through the weekend! Oh the joys of teenagers! Bless them!! xx


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## sasha1

Good Afternoon All ....

HMMMM ... Well I though after yesterdays uprising from Nathan's camp ... things would have settled down ... 

We started off the day with Nathan waking to the start of a hypo at 4mmol ... Breakfast was ok ... although Nathan was'nt forth coming in the conversation stakes .. More sulking because he cant have his own way over the school dinner situation .. although so far today it has'nt been mentioned again ... 

At dinner time he had calmed down a bit and BG back to normal 8mmol ... and seemed quiet happy and chatty ... and discussing at great length with me about Call of Duty .. world at war ....  .. He's at a bit of a loss today as his friend has gone away for a couple of days to visit family ... I offered for us to go out some where .. a walk .. or what ever he fancied .. he said no and just wanted to chill out today as his holiday is soon over .... 

However at 2.30pm the balnce has been rocked again ...  .. Nathan came down in search of food ... as he was hungry ... I said the wrong thing ... How dare I as for him to check his blood level ... I did'nt order him to do one ... just asked could you please ... and then we can see where you are, at what if you need anything eat you can have ... Nathan then went completly off on one ... refered to me as the food police ... says the rest of his life is going to be like this ... restricted and its not fair .. all I want is something to eat ... I replied "Son I have'nt said you cant have anything to eat .. just that we need to know where your levels are at .. thats all" ... He replies how hes sick of blood test the whole thing and no way was he doing one ... I suggested a few grapes in that case ... He ranted for a bit .. then settled for the grapes .... mmmmmm .... Stormed up stairs .. and slammed the bedroom door ..... I then went up stairs ... and warned him about slamming the doors ...  I came back down stairs for 10 mins to let him cool down a little ... then went back up stairs and approached the test again ... using the wording If you are going low ... We need to know so we can sort you hun ... He relucantly did the BG  and he has gone high .... 14 ... So  with that it set him off again ... now I can understand the attitude as he is really nasty and bad tempered when up this high .. as he is not used to it ... I suggested a correction dose ... He pulled no punches what he though of that idea ... 

I now sat down stairs ... although not upset, cross, angry etc .... bloody frustrated ... I so feel for Nathan but he does insist on making things hard work .... that said ... I'm positive thats the teenager not the diabetes ... as its non-conformist behaviour .... 

Heidi
xx


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## Mand

Oh Heidi! I feel for you sooooooooo much! I can imagine the scene so well from your explanation. It really tugs at my heart strings for you. Both of you. 

Some of his behavour is just normal teenage stuff but when he applies the teenage attitiude  to his diabetes then you cannot just let it go, you have to deal with it and this is so tiring for you. 

I do see things from his point of view too, of course. He has all the emotions of a typical teenager and all the emotions about his diabetes too. Sadly you are his punch bag (I do not mean literally. I mean metophorically (spelling). 

I know it might be hard to believe right now, but it is because he loves you and you are his mom that he takes his attitude out on you. He needs an outlet and who else could he speak to like that and feel safe doing it. A friend would no longer be his friend, a teacher would send him to the Head etc etc. But good old mom is always there and loves unconditionally and forgives. 

But, boy, is that hard on you! You are not just Nathans mom, you are also 'Heidi'. Teenagers forget this! 

Of course, sometimes his attitude is because he is too high or maybe too low but again this comes your way as you are his carer as well as his mom.

I do so understand your frustration, Heidi. I wish i had the answers but i don't.

Is there anyone who can give you suppport of any kind? Maybe a bit of respite now and again? Is there anyone Nathan likes and respects enough that you can trust that would give you a break occassionally. I am thinking so you can go and be 'Heidi' for a day and re-charge your batteries.

I send you a huge hug. Keep strong. 

Love Mand xx


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## sasha1

Hi Mand ...

Totally agree with you here ... I am his outlet for his anger and frustration .. and I understand 110% he not getting at me personally ... I have broad shoulders ...lol..  He is displaying typical teenage angst ... which is normal ... and the funny thing is I would'nt want it to be any different .. Hey children don't come with handbooks ... if only .. lol ... we as parents have to do the best we can .. however hard and challenging it may be ... 

Nathan does'nt really get the support a diabetic needs form his specialist team .. we tried to get him into see the counsellor .. but they wont take his case on because they are far to busy and over stretched ... I have even considered paying privately for some counselling sessions for him .. But Nathan is a hard shell to crack .. he does'nt open up easily ... to me yes ... and I admire him fully that he feels comfortable to talk to me about anything .. He does'nt have a close relationship with his dad either .. and has'nt seen him since april ... but thats a different story .. and a positive this upsets Nathan .. even though he says it doesnt ... As for respite ... the answer to that is no ... but I can have a few hours of peace when Nathan is at school ... providing things are'nt sent into chaos there ... lol

Right now he has calmed down and apologised for his outburst ... I said I understand son .. and gave him a big hug .... xxx ... and I've made his fav tea ..... so he well happy and his levels have come down back into range ...

Heidi
xx


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## sasha1

Hi All ...

On a more positive note ..... I try at all costs not to make situations more confrontational .... by not screaming and shouting ... back at Nathan ... Its hard but at times .. but it means then I have lost control of the situation and Nathan has won in the way I have risen to his challenging behaviour ...and fallen for his bait .. being a teenager there is a lot of bravado about them ... in reality what they claim they are going to do does'nt happen .. they just want to shock parents into getting what they want ...  ... Besides if the situation is surrounded by all sides screaming and shouting .. how can compromises be reached and nothing will be achieved ... just everyone getting bent out of shape and digging there heels in ..

Heidi
xx


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## Mand

You are a mom in a million, Heidi! xx  xx


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## bev

Heidi your a star! Nathan is lucky to have you.

Interestingly Adrienne went to a friends for life conference. One of the points that was made by a New York type 1 talker was that children with diabetes should be disiplined if/when they mis-treat their diabetes deliberately. He explained that if they didnt do their homework - they would be grounded or disiplined for it. So if they deliberately mis-treat their diabetes - why shouldnt you discipline them? After all this is life threatening and as tough as it sounds - i am in full agreement! A went through a stage where he didnt want to sit still when having a hypo - so i threatened him with a loss of pocket money. No screaming or shouting - just simply about finance - and that matters to them more than anything at this age. It worked! He now sits still.
I know he is only 11 - but in my opinion if you start the discipline early enough - hopefully it will instill into them a good basic knowledge of their condition and the damage caused if they mis-treat it.

I will let him off with other things - like tidying his bedroom etc - this way i can choose my battles with him and the rest really doesnt matter - who cares if his bedroom is untidy? I cant be that blase about his diabetes unfortunately. I think some may think i am being very hard on him - and maybe i am - but its keeping him healthy! And i am not stupid enough to think things wont get worse when he is a 'kevin'! But i have 2 older girls who both went through teenage years - tiny battles - nothing major - but i have learnt a lot - and the main one is to be consistant with the discipline that is handed out. It is the easiest thing in the world to say yes to everything to a child. It is the hardest thing in the world to say no - and watch them be upset etc.. but in the long term it pays off tenfold! My two daughters are lovely (not biased at all) young ladies and people often comment on how easy they are to get along with and how polite etc.. I hope that the same can be said for A when he is older - despite him having to deal with diabetes and all that entails. I am sure we will have tough times ahead like you and Nathan Heidi - so i will be looking here for inspiration!Bev


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## sasha1

Hi Bev ... 

I too in some respects are hard on Nathan as regards to his diabetes .. and I know some of what I have said to him many will frown upon ... but it can become reality ... it is a hard chronic condition ... I deal in facts with Nathan ... and am cruel to be kind ... at the end of the day it is his health and life that I have in my hands ... I cannot choose the paths in life he decides to take but I can offer the education and skills to pick the right one .. hopefully .. Nor can I be responsible for what Nathan does as regards to his diabetes and care when he is an adult .. all I can do is make injections, BG monitoring etc,etc .. become as natural a function to Nathan as brushing his teeth ... 

I'm very interested to hear about the meeting Adrienne attended ... as regards to disciplining children/teenagers who mistreat there diabetes ... Its certainly a train of thought .. I'm not sure how Nathan would react to that kind of discipline at the moment .. He to a certain degree feels his diabetes is punishment .. 

Nathan is disciplined and I'm sure it has benefited him greatly ... discipline is virtually never smacking ... god I could'nt tell you the last time he got a quick tap on the backside ... I tend to remove pleasures .. eg XBOX .. ground him ... with hold pocket money ... Bad or anti social behaviour is stamped on immediately ... He has had manners instilled in him from an early age .. and is commended on them all the time .. and people approach me to say how polite he is ... and that makes me very proud ...  .. In the big scheme of things Nathan is a good kid ... and has brought very little trouble to the door .. and for that I am thankful ... as I see some kids roaming the streets doing all kinds and out at all hours ...

Hope you and A are ok ... Hows the pump going ??

Heidi
xx


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## insulinaddict09

Mand said:


> You are a mom in a million, Heidi! xx  xx



*Pssst Ive just sneaked in to say I totally agree with Mand !! you are awesome Heidi 

P.s I think all you mums, are brilliant *


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## sasha1

insulinaddict09 said:


> *Pssst Ive just sneaked in to say I totally agree with Mand !! you are awesome Heidi
> 
> P.s I think all you mums, are brilliant *



Hehehehe ... Sneak in all you want hun ... the more the merrier ... 

Thank you hun .... And I will second that all us mums are one in a million and are brilliant too ... 

Sending you all BIG ((((((HUGS))))))

Heidi
xx


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## sasha1

Good Evening All ...

Today has been a brilliant day for both me and Nathan ....  ... Balance has been restored after the past couple of days of trauma and angst ..

Nathan's levels have been spot on and he has seemed much more relaxed and happy ... have the hormones settled down for a couple of days ..?? ... He even, shock, horror did a BG test when I asked if he would mind doing one as he said he felt hungry .. did it without a blink .... 

The weather has been terrible up here today so we have'nt been anywhere .. but Nathan asked if I would go on the xbox with him for a little bit to play Call of Duty ... Now admittedly I am totally rubbish at this .. but it gave us time together to chat about all things .. and for Nathan to have the opportunity to take the p*** out of me for being so rubbish at said game .. but it made him smile and laugh .. so thats the main thing .. 

Later on last night though ... I overheard a conversation he was having with a friend through Xbox .. In which he was discussing at great length his diabetes, carbohydrate, sugar and injections .. He also told his friend he had been in a bad mood for the past couple of days .. and that everything had got on top of him ... but what made me proud of him but also shed a silent tear was ... when his friend had commented something about injections ... Nathan said " I have no choice .. if I dont do them I become ill very quickly .. and they keep me alive .. I get my  mam going by saying I'm not doing them .. and at the time I mean it .. she justs says fair enough .. and leaves me alone .. but I calm down and think .. I want to be able to see my mam in a few years.."

Thats the positive for today as hard as diabetes is .. Teenagers do understand the consequences of there actions .. in Nathans case .. and its just another weapon .. 

Tomorrow is another day ... so our house may again be Nathan's battlefield .. but if that is the case .. one thing is for sure the lines of communication will remain open .. 

Heidi
xx


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## Sugarbum

This is a great idea heidi, well done. I am sure this will be a good read and also really helpful to others. I always hope as well that these new big subjects help the more silent members feel confident to get posting (not that there is anything wrong with just reading but I think we all become richer here from the experiences of others!).

I shall deifnately be popping in and out of the thread. Good luck with it all. Love lou x


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## sasha1

Hi Lou ....

Thank you hun ... I do hope it will help others and as you say for more peeps to come on and post ... We are all on this long road together ... and often its a damn bumpy ride ... We learn best and gain more knowledge by sharing experiences and no book can provide this ... 

Please come on and post anytime hun ... It would be great for us parents to have a fresh pair of eyes cast over our experiences and to share your opinions/feelings of being diabetic .. in order for us to help our children better. 

Heidi
xx


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## Mand

> HTML:
> 
> 
> Good Evening All ...
> 
> Today has been a brilliant day for both me and Nathan ....  ... Balance has been restored after the past couple of days of trauma and angst ..
> 
> Nathan's levels have been spot on and he has seemed much more relaxed and happy ... have the hormones settled down for a couple of days ..?? ... He even, shock, horror did a BG test when I asked if he would mind doing one as he said he felt hungry .. did it without a blink ....
> 
> The weather has been terrible up here today so we have'nt been anywhere .. but Nathan asked if I would go on the xbox with him for a little bit to play Call of Duty ... Now admittedly I am totally rubbish at this .. but it gave us time together to chat about all things .. and for Nathan to have the opportunity to take the p*** out of me for being so rubbish at said game .. but it made him smile and laugh .. so thats the main thing ..
> 
> Later on last night though ... I overheard a conversation he was having with a friend through Xbox .. In which he was discussing at great length his diabetes, carbohydrate, sugar and injections .. He also told his friend he had been in a bad mood for the past couple of days .. and that everything had got on top of him ... but what made me proud of him but also shed a silent tear was ... when his friend had commented something about injections ... Nathan said " I have no choice .. if I dont do them I become ill very quickly .. and they keep me alive .. I get my mam going by saying I'm not doing them .. and at the time I mean it .. she justs says fair enough .. and leaves me alone .. but I calm down and think .. I want to be able to see my mam in a few years.."
> 
> Thats the positive for today as hard as diabetes is .. Teenagers do understand the consequences of there actions .. in Nathans case .. and its just another weapon ..
> 
> Tomorrow is another day ... so our house may again be Nathan's battlefield .. but if that is the case .. one thing is for sure the lines of communication will remain open ..
> 
> Heidi
> xx



Oh Heidi! This brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad that things have settled for now and i am glad that you overheard what Nathan said because now you know that he does understand, he does think it all through in his own time/way and, most of all, it proves that all your hard work and input is worthwhile. 

As you say, the doors of communication are open. I think that this is the most important thing with a teenager. My daughter and i have had our ups and downs through her pre teenage and teenage years but i have always worked hard to keep communication going to ensure that i can still give guidance and support though the 'Kevin' years! Not that she was too bad but it was still hard at times. 

She is 16 now and definately more mature and coming out of the 'teenage' stage. She was worse from 11 to 15. She will start college in September and i think she will mature even more then as she will have more responsibility (she will be in placements as well as studying at college) and more independance (she will be travelling by bus then train to college). 

It's nice when you can see them coming out the other side!


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## bev

Heidi,
I just read the incident that happened yesterday, and i dont mind telling you i welled up! You must feel hugely re-assured that Nathan does realise that he HAS to inject etc.. But more than that - he was actually explaining to his friend the enormity of what could happen if he didnt. This is actually a roundabout way of defending you and your treatment of him/his diabetes - which just shows that he is 'on your side' - even though he wouldnt tell you that to your face! Every word you say to him is being noted - so keep up with the good work - your a fab mum - and Nathan knows that too. Hope you have a calm day today too!Bev xx


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## sasha1

Hi All ...

Thank you Mand and Bev ... Nathan has indirectly re-assured me in so many ways .. and I was ginning like a cheshire cat to with total pride in him ...  .. I just hope and want him to see me as not the enemy .. but regardless of being diabetic or not .. he is a teenager .. and us parents are viewed on many occassions as the enemy .. I remember having the same feelings towards my own parents at times ... hehehe ...

As for Nathan understanding the full consequences of mistreating his diabetes .. In our town we regularly see a man in his late 30's early 40's who is type 1 diabetic but also a Heroin Addict ...  ... I have made no secret of pointing this man out to Nathan from the day he was diagnosed .. and remimding him of the what the many dangers are from ignoring diabetes and in the extreme being addicted to class A drugs ... The man is a total mess .. I cannot put in to words exacly how he looks but ill .. is'nt anywhere near .. He even keeled over in front of Nathan in boots while we were waiting for Nathan's prescription ... We later found out that the man had taken a load of insulin, forgot to eat , just had his methadone ... and this was the result ... The look on Nathan's face .... Fear .... and when we were discussing it later that day ..he said "the man was an idiot, for taking the risks he did" ... It also opened up the question from Nathan ... " If mam, a cure or some other treatment becomes available where would he be on the list" .. I replied " Honestly son at the bottom, why would any doctor want to treat someone who abuses his body in this way" ... too which Nathan said " Thats why I'm going to totally look after myself .. I want to be at the top of the list"

Heidi
xx


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## Mand

> Nathan said " Thats why I'm going to totally look after myself .. I want to be at the top of the list"




YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! 

Mand xx


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## sasha1

Mand said:


> YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
> 
> Mand xx



Hi Mand ...

Could'nt agree more .... Result ... 

On a more serious note though ... This may sound awful .. but if there were ever to feature an advert for the perils of drugs .. and drugs and diabetes ... and the risks/consequences that do happen ... This man should be used ...

Heidi
xx


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## Inland-Revenue Man

Everything wrote in this thread is spot on: It sums up perfectly the problems of caring for a diabetic teenager who is trying to be like his mates in rebelling and finding his way in life. I know I did the same as a type 1 growing up (Diagnosed at 18 months old) and my mother and father acted in the same way! Unfortunately, as has been said, whilst we try to be "normal" diabetes means that we must take our health and lifestyle seriously or face the none too pleasant consequences.

My mother and father, although divorcing when I was aged 7, were united on the issue of my diabetes and how it should be taken seriously. They also followed the same path as Heidi during my teenage years: At the end of the day it would upset them, but it would be me that would suffer if I made light of my diabetes. It also helped that my Nan was a nurse who was also forthright in her views on how diabetes should be managed!

I am now in my mid 20s, living in my own flat and managing my life but my parent's guidance during the teenage rebellion years have ensured that my diabetes is taken seriously. Heidi, your approach is entirely correct!

Wonderful posts by all in this thread!


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