# TRIGGERING Mentions suicide



## gail1 (Jun 13, 2010)

*Caution mentions suicide*
*Moderators please feel free to delate this post I will understand*


Its taken me some time to make my mind up about weather to post this or not. Please dont judge me you cant me feel any worse about myself than I do right now I know by posting this Im asking for a lot of understanding, maybe I dont have that right who knows. I know Im very stupid in what I did


oK 6 WEEKS ago i was feeling really bad, didt want to be here anymore. I suffer from Bi-Polar and Borderline Personality Disorder and sometimes it gets this bad. I obtained extra insulin in as the crisis team said a very sneaky way. I took the lot. A friend found me and a ambulance was called. Because of past things this also means the police turn up. I kicked off because I didt want to go to hospital and I didt want any treatment. So the police detained me under the Mental Health Act and i had no choice in the matter then. Got to hospital, by this time they had me in handcuffs and leg restraints. The duty team(2 psychiatrists and a social worker)  were called and  they accessed me and sectioned me UNDER THE MENTAL HEALTH ACT. When you are sectioned you have no choice in the matter about staying in hospital or accepting treatment, they can do this by force. I spent a week in hospital. My blood sugars went really bad. I did have some fits. I cant remember that week completely. I can recall odd bits having a drip fitted in my arm, security holding me down on the bed because i tried to leg it, The last day I saw the diabetic consultant this is a woman I have seen before and dont like as she comes across as an arrogant Im doctor I know best  attitude. She told me its important you loose weight , insulin makes it impossible to do that so Im gonna stop it. Stop it she did. They let me go after a week, got told by the psychiatric liaison lady that both my psychiatrist and Community Psychiatric  Nurse were happy for my section to be lifted and for this to be done.
 Since then I have had no insulin at all just been taking Metformin and Pioglitazone as usual.  I was on 70 units a day. Well since then my blood sugars have ranged between 17.2 and HI and I have keytones a lot of the time. I see my GP every week and hes very concerned about my levels. As he says its impossible to control your blood sugar without insulin. Hes been in touch with the consultant at the hospital about getting the insulin back and has said in the end they will have no choice in the matter but to give you it back. It was because of the overdose she stopped it not because i need to loose wieght, I knew that anyway.
Would like to know what damage could be done to my body by lack of insulin what complications may possibly happen
Last week my bs read HI for a couple of days, my vision went blurry. For the last week I have been drinking so much water it hurts my tummy (around 7 one liter boltels a day)


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## Copepod (Jun 13, 2010)

Can I put it another way? If you take insulin as recommended, then you may not have any complications nor damage. No point worrying about any damage that might already have been done; best to concentrate on minimising any furture problems.
I really hope your GP, mental health and diabetes teams can work together with you to find something that works and addresses all your problems. Good luck and let us know what happens.


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## Northerner (Jun 13, 2010)

Gail, I think that you are incredibly brave to tell us your story, and I really feel for you with all you have been through. I do hope that you can get back on a sensible insulin regime soon, those highs are the kind that many people experience before they are dignosed, not after. Is it possible to have a close friend or relative or someone who could be entrusted with your insulin so that it is only available to you when you need it? It might give you some 'breathing space'. A reduction in your levels would also help your moods considerably. You need to get your strength back. Please keep writing, we are all here for you. {{{{{Gail}}}}}


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## Lizzzie (Jun 13, 2010)

Wow

Gail that's a post and a half; well done for finding it in you to post this.

We all have very high levels when we are first diangosed: for short periods, 'hi' levels are survivable, but long-term with high BG, side effects e.g. to the kidneys and nerves (feeling in your feet etc), can appear. What extent / timespan of 'high BG' results in side effects, varies from person to person, so there's no way you can work out what potential damage might have been done, if any. All you can do is try to keep your BG as normal as possible from now on: focus on the future. The past is gone.

All the best. You'll need more bravery yet to get through this, but the fact you summoned up the courage to post such a personal story, implies that you want to sort your levels out- and I'm sure you will.


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## am64 (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi Gail xxxx hugs etc etc well done for writing all that down , you will not judged here by your actions we are all here to *support* you. xxx


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## RachelT (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi Gail, bless you. i'm glad you wrote your post, i hope it gives you some kind of relief. I think sometimes the problem with doctors is that they can only see one problem at a time, my friends with other long term health issues say the same thing. If you see a doctor about one problem, that's all he or she will look at. My friend has rheumatoid arthritis, and she had a bad infection last year, the doctors would only treat her infection, and didn't seem to bother considering the effects of her arthritis on the infectionb and vice versa. I feel like i'm stamped with a big rubber stamp saying "Diabetic" and by GP will only bother with that. Has anybody bothered seeing how your blood sugar affects your mental health or vice versa? Having high blood sugar certainly affects the way i think and feel.
Don't worry too much about "blips" in blood sugar, i think you have to have had high blood sugar for a long time before the serious complications start to set in. The blurred vision should dissapear in time, I had that before i was diagnosed, and it went away very quickly once i got treatment.
Good luck with your struggle, and don't hesistate to tell us how you feel, if i can help in any way at all, please tell me.
Rachel


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## Caroline Wilson (Jun 13, 2010)

I can't add to what others gave said. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope things work out for you.


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## Sugarbum (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi Gail,

Brave post- I'm sorry I am rushing but will write properly later.

I really, really hope things are improving for you. Im so glad you are on this forum and share with us. Life is hard and I cant imagine where you get your strength from, but I am glad you do. Lots of love to you Gail, Lou xx


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## gail1 (Jun 13, 2010)

Thank you all for your kindness its made me realise how lucky i am to have this site i know im messed up in the head but i am trying so hard to fight my demons
thank you again I love you guys


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## bev (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi Gail,

Your post is refreshingly honest and I am sure it will help someone else to relate to you if they are feeling as down as you did.

You are not 'messed up in the head'. You are just suffering from bi-polar and the stresses of what life has thrown at you. We all have our demons, its just that for some people they take over and dominate their lives. Never ever feel that you will be judged! The only person who has that right is you and it seems to me that you are judging yourself far too critically. You cannot help how you feel and you must'nt let this make you feel like you are a failure.

You are a wonderful person who has helped lots of people on here and you need to be kind to yourself and learn to see what others see. 

I cant advise on what the doctors are doing about the insulin as i think they are just worried that you make feel depressed again and may try to take your life again. I am wondering whether they could just let you go to the GP or chemist every day to collect or inject that day's insulin as you cant be left alone without insulin or you will become very ill. Have you asked them for this sort of thing? I do hope life starts to improve drastically for you and you can learn to like yourself and stop blaming yourself for being ill. Take care.Bev x


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## MargB (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi Gail, sorry you have been through so much and have the insulin option removed from you.

Not much I can add as I am not on insulin but just want to add my support and let you know people on here care for you.

Best wishes, Margaret


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## shirl (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi Gail, thanks for being so brave in telling us at least some of your story! 

I only hope that you gain strength from the replies you have had. Please believe that there *are* people who care for you warts and all  lets face it we all have demons of one kind or another. Trust me you are not the only one who has tried to leave this life behind, I have on several occasions, and have been very close to doing the same again in recent weeks. 
Anyway if I can be a listening ear for you please PM me, and I'll do my very best to help. 
Take care of yourself, love and hugs, shirl x


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## Carynb (Jun 13, 2010)

You are incredibly brave and show enormous courage in everything you have written- be encouraged by that, you have more strength left inside I'm sure of it.
Just a thought re the insulin..would there be the possibility of a community nurse coming to your house to do/supervise your injections? Maybe worth asking your GP or psychiatric nurse.
Keep going my friend


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## squidge63 (Jun 13, 2010)

Carynb said:


> You are incredibly brave and show enormous courage in everything you have written- be encouraged by that, you have more strength left inside I'm sure of it.
> Just a thought re the insulin..would there be the possibility of a community nurse coming to your house to do/supervise your injections? Maybe worth asking your GP or psychiatric nurse.
> Keep going my friend



I was going to say the same about getting someone in to do your injections.. I was given that option by my GP when I got so low I wouldn't take my injections. Take care Gail, you are not on your own..


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## Vicsetter (Jun 13, 2010)

Thats a very lucid and sad story Gail, I wish you all the best.  
Has anyone suggested that you diabetes be treated with Byetta?  I understand it's unusual to switch from Insulin to Byetta but don't know why.  But it is supposed to help with weight loss as well.


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## casey (Jun 13, 2010)

Hi Gail, just want to say that i have walked in your shoes several times, you are very brave. Stay strong and take care we are all thinking of you. Love and hugs.


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## topcat123 (Jun 13, 2010)

hi gail

i think that you are a very honest and brave person i canot say anything different to what everyone else has said, please look after yourself x x


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## Andy HB (Jun 13, 2010)

Hello Gail,

I just wanted to chip in here and offer you my support too.

I can't offer much, just a lot of understanding without any judgement.

Andy


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## Tezzz (Jun 14, 2010)

Hi Gail.

Thanks for your post. I hope you feel better soon. 

Take care.


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## PhilT (Jun 14, 2010)

Hi Gail,

I'm sure sharing your story with us will help take a bit of the load off of your mind.
Knowing that others know how you are feeling can make alot of difference instead of bottling things up inside. 

My sister is Bi-polar and it took years before she was diagnosed and she went through alot of bad stuff before she got the correct treatment, so I know where you are coming from.

Hope things start getting better soon.

Take care.


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## smile4loubie (Jun 14, 2010)

Hi Gail.

Thank you so much for your honest post. I hope you find the strength to carry on fighting your demons & know we are always here to support you, no matter what.

I hope your GP sorts out your insulin soon.

*Hugs* 
xxxx


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## gail1 (Jun 15, 2010)

not very well tonight am trying to get in touch with crisis team they are out on a call am thinking of asking to be admitted to hospital


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## Tezzz (Jun 15, 2010)

I'm not very good at this Gail. 

I hope you get what you need quickly and it all works out for you.

You know where we are if you need us.


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## traceycat (Jun 15, 2010)

hi gail, i just wanted to show my support to you hun. were all here for you.
take care xxxx


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## am64 (Jun 15, 2010)

hi gail sorry i missed your post last night ...hope you are feeling a bit better huni xxxx


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## shirl (Jun 15, 2010)

Hi Gail, hp ur ok and got in touch with crisis team. Think you're doin the right thing for you! Do hope all well, please take care of yourself, PM me if you can, love shirl x


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## bev (Jun 15, 2010)

Gail I do hope you have managed to speak to your team and have found some help. Let us know how you are when you can.Bev x


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## Emmal31 (Jun 15, 2010)

I think you are such a brave person for telling us all that it must have taken a lot of courage to do so. I can't really add to what people have already said but I just wanted to say were all here whenever you need us to be and your not alone. I hope you managed to get in contact with your crisis team last night and please let us know when you can how you are. (((Big hugs))) xxx


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## Corrine (Jun 15, 2010)

Gail you are doing an incredibly brave thing by sharing this with us.  I know that we are all here for you and are hoping that you get the treatment you deserve. Keep us posted. xx


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## gail1 (Jun 17, 2010)

last night i took an od called the crisisi team and they called am abulavmce. i can remember tha abulance getting here but nothing else  until 630 thius morning when they sent me home i vant rember if anyone came to see me i got home and they have givin me a bag with someome eles wash thinkgs in it. im still not well trying to get in touch with my cpn left her a message asking her to call me


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## Northerner (Jun 17, 2010)

gail1 said:


> last night i took an od called the crisisi team and they called am abulavmce. i can remember tha abulance getting here but nothing else  until 630 thius morning when they sent me home i vant rember if anyone came to see me i got home and they have givin me a bag with someome eles wash thinkgs in it. im still not well trying to get in touch with my cpn left her a message asking her to call me



Aw Gail, my dear! So, so sorry that you are feeling so desparately bad  Please, please talk to someone if you are feeling like this again. I have come to know you over the past few months, and I want to continue to get to know you and hopefully meet you one day (and I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that!), so please take good care of yourself. Let us know how things go, hoping that you can start feeling brighter and more positive about all you have to offer - and that's a LOT! 

{{{{{{{{{Gail}}}}}}}}}


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## rachelha (Jun 17, 2010)

Gail - hope your cpn gets back to you quick.  Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad.  I dont really know what to say to help, but I am sure there are a lot of people on here and elsewhere who care about you.  
Keep us updated on how you are

Rx


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## getcarter76 (Jun 18, 2010)

Another forum friend here adding some support to you at this time. Make sure you get the help and support from your CPN that you need and take care of yourself above all else.

Oh yes...as for someone elses bag...if its better than the one you went in with..keep it, if not make sure you get your one back 

Take care Gail...we are all here for you whatever the weather 

Bernie xx


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## topcat123 (Jun 18, 2010)

big hugs big hugs

please when you are ready keep in touch with us all xxxx


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## gail1 (Jun 18, 2010)

Last night I called the crisis team again i was that desperate. I ended up by going to a+e to be accessed under the mental health act. I had to wait until midday today to see someone  and then i was gutted one of the pdocs was my own pdoc and hes a **nt im sure he hates me. I begged to go into hospital but got told no it does you no good and makes you worse sh wise they wood not move on this issue at all. i got told you have felt like this before and have coped they told me to call the crisis team if i needed to and that i would be able to see my cpn next week. this after i had oded 2 nights running I GIVE UP ON THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM they tell you to ask for support so you do. im seeing things but i have seen things before and copped before i have been told. i feel so down and alone I feel let down by the system that's supposed to support me or maybe i expect to much. 
now i have to carry on im so tired of things of feeling as if im on my own. im crying as i type this Had to write this had to tell someone how i feel
I will be ok i have to be now theres noone else


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## bev (Jun 18, 2010)

Gail,
I dont know what to say to help you - I wish I could help you to feel better - but I know I cant. I think its awful that they turned you away when you told them how desperate you are. Please please do not do anything silly - you need to speak to your crisis team and tell them what you have told us. Would it help you to sit and write it all down so you can just show it to them? I feel very worried about you and wish that I could be there with you now. Do you have anyone that you can ring - a friend or a relative perhaps? Even a neighbour might be able to help you just by listening and letting you talk it through. I know you cant think about this at the moment, but you are a wonderful person with so much life experience to offer - you need to stay strong and make sure you battle those demons until monday or until you can talk to someone. Is there anything that could help to calm you down - music - reading etc..(sorry if that sounds patronising). Please stay strong and let us know how you are feeling in the morning - I will be very worried about you until I hear something from you. Take care sweetheart. Bev xxx


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## Northerner (Jun 18, 2010)

Gail, glad you have written to tell us how things are - sorry you don't have better news to report about your treatment and support. Have you considered calling the Samaritans? Deep breaths my dear, you CAN work through this and we are so behind you all the way! Take care, and keep in touch, you are very important to us, you are not alone. {{{{Gail}}}}


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## rachelha (Jun 18, 2010)

Gail - I am so glad you feel able to tell us how you are feeling and what you are going through.  Hang on in there, is there anyone you can talk to to tide you over until you finally get to see your cpn?  S0rry, I can not remember if you have told us your family situation. Have you tried Samaritans before,  they helped a friend of mine through a particularly rough spot a while ago.
I will be thinking of you tonight, really hope it is better for you.

Big hugs

Rx


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## suziepoo (Jun 18, 2010)

Hi Gail
My heart goes out to you during this rough time! Please phone the Samaritans if you can't get hold of your crisis team. According to my friend, they are wonderfully supportive and understanding and helped her get through a really bad time last year. 
Big hug
Sue


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## am64 (Jun 18, 2010)

sorry to hear all this gail im feeling crap too ...i understand where you are hun x wish i could stop crying x


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## Lizzzie (Jun 18, 2010)

Hi Gail

I'm sorry you're feeling so down, and even sorrier that the support networks don't seem to be supporting you much.

Get through this in spite of them - we're all behind you.

Concentrate on one day at a time....

Lizzie


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## gail1 (Jun 18, 2010)

Thank you all for your kindness it means a lot to me right now and is helping me a great deal


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## am64 (Jun 18, 2010)

keep posting gail ...we all want you to get through this ....xx hugs xxx


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## getcarter76 (Jun 18, 2010)

am64 said:


> keep posting gail ...we all want you to get through this ....xx hugs xxx



Yes, yes to this and all the other comments too.....I also fully support the Samaritans...they will be sooooo supportive and have often been in situations they can empathise with which leads them to working for them. 

Bernie xx


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## sweetsatin (Jun 18, 2010)

I admire your honesty i cannot add anymore than what others have said.
You will not be judged here & please don't feel bad it's not your fault.
by posting this you could be helping others well done for finding the courage to post this. Hope you feel better soon & get back on track.


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## gail1 (Jun 19, 2010)

The crisis team are calling me everynite as i ended up in hospital again.
i was a very bad diabetic last night dont know if its just rebelling against things and how they are or just the diabeties
last nite i discovered justeat an online takeaway service so thought sod this and ordered 1/2 beef burger, chips,four cans coke, cheesecake and colslaw 
I stuffed the lot like the pig i am when im depressed i can eat for england and last nite i did it felt so good. Not a very clever thing to do i know but right now i dont care sorry i know that sounds bad


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## Andy HB (Jun 19, 2010)

gail1 said:


> The crisis team are calling me everynite as i ended up in hospital again.
> i was a very bad diabetic last night dont know if its just rebelling against things and how they are or just the diabeties
> last nite i discovered justeat an online takeaway service so thought sod this and ordered 1/2 beef burger, chips,four cans coke, cheesecake and colslaw
> I stuffed the lot like the pig i am when im depressed i can eat for england and last nite i did it felt so good. Not a very clever thing to do i know but right now i dont care sorry i know that sounds bad



Oh Gail! 

I do understand a little where you're coming from with this. A few weeks ago a had a major binge myself (I stopped counting the calories involved later when I reached 5,000! ). It was also packed full of sugary stuff too.

The other thing is, as you know, the mind is a tricky customer. It is so heavily involved with how well we feel that when it starts playing up, our general health suffers too. Try not to think of hospital as a bad place to be. If you can get through that and come out with a better treatment regime, many of your other problems will (well, should!) be easier to control too.

I truly hope that you can get on top of your demons,

Best wishes,

Andy


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## am64 (Jun 19, 2010)

gail oooeee i bet that tasted great !!! especially the coke ...ok you blipped we all do it ...try not to beat yourself up tho....by posting we now know that even Andy has the occaional binge !!...me well i had the btm subway the other lunch time ..the one with all the salami and ham and mayo on it ..i brought one for my son aswell to have when he came home from school but ate it aswell ..just thought SOD IT ...oh the guilt was terrible but hey ho i was feeling crap anyway so i thought what does it matter !! see we all do it ! thank you for posting your honesty has certainly helped me be more honest about my own demons and posting them here does strangely seem to help xx


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## Sugarbum (Jun 19, 2010)

hey hon,

Im sorry things havent got much better and that you are stuck in this situation. Im really sad to hear about your overdoses and what you are dealing with. I wish you didnt feel so unsuported and alone- its heart breaking. We know you are so lovely and so valued here on the forum - I dont dare think about the consequences. You are very special Gail and very loved here, so please continue to post. 

I wish I could do something constructive for you, but if only the resolve was so simple. Please PM if I can be of any support.

Take care and big hugs xx


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## topcat123 (Jun 19, 2010)

gail

again today bigs hugs keep in touch with us all let us know how you are getting on warts and all i understand that its hard to keep going at the moment but all is here i canot know what you are feeling but i understand a little as both my step dad and my best friend is bi polar and can understand a a bit xxx

topcat


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## muddlethru (Jun 20, 2010)

Gail, hang in there my dear you WILL get through this. With so many lovely people on these boards sending their love and willing you to feel better you will get there. Just think of all the good vibes we're sending you so you see you will win. Here's a big HUG from me.


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## gail1 (Jun 20, 2010)

thank you everyone your kindness means so much to me i dont feel so alone with the kind messages i keep getting here. im fighting so hard against the feelings/plans that are going thou my mind. had my phone call from the crisis team earlier and one of the things John said stuck in my mind you need to treat yourself and to love yourself, told him i dont know how to the only thing/way to cope for me is to hate/hurt myself and i dont know how to change that. Have made a positive step i have decided to ask for a change of psychiatrist, mine is an **** this is a man who has said the mental health system is no good for some people and you are one of those people, if its no good for me he and my team should be helping me find other ways of coping.
My bs is still running around the 23 mark it was 23.6 this morning I NEED MY INSULIN BACK its been in the 20s range since consultant stopped it following od 6 weeks ago my rock of a GP is trying to get it back for me
 Once again thanks i feel like im among friends here even thou i have never meet any of you in real life


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## am64 (Jun 20, 2010)

hi gail ...although your BS is running high it is lower than a short while ago when it was in the 30's ...keep strong thank you for posting ...and yes  I feel that i am among friends here xx lots of love and hugs xxx Am and *what i love about you is your honesty* ...it has certainly helped me be more honest about my feelings rather than just hiding xx


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## scootdevon (Jun 20, 2010)

*Thank you for your honesty in posting what u have, i think the nhs need to wake up and smell the coffee.... dont take no sh.. from them (nhs)...I broke my neck in a diving accident back in 1984 and told me that i wouldnt walk again or at best aided with a walking stick... i can never relay to how u feel but i was at a low point cos none of my friends could visit me in hospital 2 hours away from exeter and only got visits from my mum n stepdad 1 weekend then from my dad and his partner the next weekend with my younger brothers and sisters with news and goss from back home, i was 16 nearly 17 even though families are important your friends seem even more important to teenagers, dunno why though??? Just to have someone to talk too and listen to you makes all the difference, ive recently been dx with type 2 and my head has been all over the place with wot ifs etc Ive learnt a lot from this site and find comfort in being able to read in wot urself and others have posted on here...... THANK YOU & keep posting ur honesty so others can learn too 

Hope u feel better soon *


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## gail1 (Jun 21, 2010)

when i saw gp last week told him about chest feeling tight and that i was feeling sick all time and he said it was all to do with my bs i had a low level of keytones
have just taken my blood sugar and its 31.8 (was 24.3 this morning) my chest feels tight i keep coughing and feel sick drinking a lot of water dont have keytones feel so sleepy think i need a early night I see my gp tomorrow if hes had no answer from hospital doc am thinking of going to a+e and being a pain in the bum  or do you think that would be to much i know i caused this 
any ideas help


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## rachelha (Jun 21, 2010)

Gail, I think you should kick up a stink.  Being left with blood sugars at that level is not on.  It will not help you to feel better at all.


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## am64 (Jun 21, 2010)

keep drinking the water huni ...hope all is good tomorrow hang on in there xx


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## Northerner (Jun 21, 2010)

I agree with Rachel Gail, they need to find some way of getting your levels down, and soon. This cannot be helping and would not normally be tolerated, I'm sure. I hope your doctor comes up with a plan of action, try not to worry yourself in the meantime, until you know where things stand.


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## scootdevon (Jun 21, 2010)

_*Be a pain in the bum i would and im drinking 2 litres of water a day to help blood glucose levels....as for dr's there paid to help *_


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## gail1 (Jun 22, 2010)

I saw my gp this afternoon and *I GOT MY INSULIN BACK* I have to make an appointment and see him every 2-3 days to pick it up


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## Northerner (Jun 22, 2010)

gail1 said:


> I saw my gp this afternoon and *I GOT MY INSULIN BACK* I have to make an appointment and see him every 2-3 days to pick it up



Oh Gail! I'm soooo pleased to hear this!  Now you can start getting those levels back down to a more reasonable level and start feeling much, much better! Best news I've heard all day!

Keep writing and let us know how things are - ups and downs (but hopefully more ups from now on!), we're all here for you, my dear!


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## am64 (Jun 22, 2010)

brilliant gail that is great news ...if you are feeling bad can you please keep posting and so we can support you taking it  xxxx


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## rachelha (Jun 22, 2010)

That is such good news, hopefully you will start feeling a bit better on all fronts when you levels are lower.  Remember we are all hear for you if needed.

Rx


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## gail1 (Jun 22, 2010)

Thankyou all for your kindness


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## scootdevon (Jun 22, 2010)

_*KOOL NICE 1 Gail *_


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## AlisonM (Jun 22, 2010)

Oh fantastic. That's such good news Gail.


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## cazscot (Jun 22, 2010)

Fantastic news, Gail  x


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## Lizzzie (Jun 22, 2010)

WHHOOOOPEEEEEEEEEEE!    

Hope you're feeling better soon.  

Keep posting


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## Sugarbum (Jun 22, 2010)

Im pleased for you Gail. Hopefully the sugars will come down soon. xx


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## traceycat (Jun 23, 2010)

thats brilliant news gail  hope your feeling better soon xxx


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## gail1 (Jun 23, 2010)

feeling crap today both psycally and mentally have tested bs and its 27.1 it was 30 this morning had art theapy today and i couldt do anything im messed in the head right now have been since i was acessed under the mental health act friday Im thinking of using my savings and seeing a pychrist who specilies in blpd privalty Told them of something that was in my head a plan and how close i am to following that plan its getting bad dare not go out just in case If this post upsets/offends please delate i understand
Im so tired of being like this dont know if its the diabeties thats causing me to be ill or the bp/blpd or maybe a mixture of both been crying on and off all day


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## am64 (Jun 23, 2010)

hi gail stick at it hunni ....it will take time for it all to settle shame about the art this morning id love to see some of your work tho ....what do you do paint? collage ? clay sculpture wahts your thing sweetie xxx


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## Northerner (Jun 23, 2010)

Gail - good days and bad days, try not to let the ideas and plans take hold. Think positive - think of all the friends you have here. You are a very important person to us (and that's LOTS of people!). I really wish I could give you a proper hug - you have done so well! Keep talking, my dear


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## Sugarbum (Jun 23, 2010)

Gail, hang in there sweety.

Hope things are clearer soon. Lots of love xx


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## Pigeon (Jun 23, 2010)

Hi Gail, sorry to hear you're having a low day, but well done for being so open about everything on here, I'm sure it will help other people who have mental health problems.

Do you do any other types of therapy, like group therapy or sport or anything?

How long til you get your insluing back? That should help the BG, which in turn will help your mood and general health loads. Hang on in there!


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## gail1 (Jun 27, 2010)

had a very bad night last nite got detained by the police in norwich under the mental health act when they do this they have to take you to a place of safety. they couldt take me to a+e at norfolk and norwich hospital as they refused to accept me, hellsdon our psy hossie there 136 suite was full. bethal street nick was full so in the end i got blue lighted in police car all the way to Great Yarmouth 20 mins away and when i got to yarmouth police station the custody Sargent was not that happy to take me as he said i was to ill to be in a cell. they put me in a cell with 3 policemen watching me made me see the police doctor who was really nice and as soon as i told her i was diabetic and needed to take my insulin measured my bs it was 24.00 that set alarm bells ringing and i was told i would have to be taken to james paget hospital in golstone They would not let me take my insulin there and then as they were not allowed to. Got handcuffed and put in back of van with 2 coppers taken to hospital thet sorted my insulin out. I was allowed to take the insulin i had with me in my bag they were not 100% happy with this as it was in a syringe and was not marked or anything but in the end a senior doctor oked it  I got accessed by duty psy team and they decided not to section me so the police took me home so all in all i had a bit of a crappy night


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## sofaraway (Jun 27, 2010)

Sorry to hear you had such a bad night. I hope that you have a better week. Are you in any therapy at the moment? I wonder if there is any TC's in your area and if you would be able to get into one? Try and look after yourself


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## gail1 (Jun 27, 2010)

i do art theapy once a week there are no tcs in my area anyway my pdoc is not keen on me going in one might try and push for this with new pdoc as have requeested a change of pdoc


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## rachelha (Jun 27, 2010)

Bit of a crappy night that is a drastic understatement, I cant believe you were shipped around all over the place like that.  I hope you are feeling better today.


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