# Little Johnny joke (censored)



## David H (May 26, 2011)

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. 
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. 
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie. 
Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. 
Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnnie,"coz he'd be *(censored)* * in a lot of trouble * if he needed glasses".


----------



## AnnW (May 26, 2011)

Nice one !!


----------



## Paul (May 26, 2011)

*I love the irish honest xxx*

The  welsh  have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from 
the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.


My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk & never
come back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said,"Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."


The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I  know, but she has a lovely personality."


Two scots men find a mirror in the road.
The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know this face but I cant put a name to it."
The second picks it up & says, "You daft bastard it's me!"


Paddy's in jail.  The Guard looks in his cell and see's him hanging by his feet.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," Paddy replies.
"It should be round your neck," says the guard.
"I tried that," says Paddy, "but I couldn't breathe."


Two Non lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house.
Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you throwing them away?"
"Because they're upside down," says Paddy.
"You daft prat," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!"


----------



## HOBIE (Jul 8, 2015)

Was not expecting that


----------

