# My partner was diagnosed with type 1 in less than 24 hours



## Becky123 (Apr 19, 2016)

Hello all,
Hope you are having a good Monday. 
My partner was diagnosed with type 1 on Friday and whilst he is coping amazingly so far considering, it is a huge amount to take in. I don't think the shock has set in and I am worried for him when it does. Currently he seems to be coping better than I am which I feel guilty about. We are going to a support group soon but I was hoping it would be OK for me to ask some of the stupid or scary questions that I wouldn't ask him at this stage or his care team. I am currently feeling pretty worried about going back to work after the weekend (which we were away for-which seemed to be a good buffer- but it's his first day in 'reality'). As he works from our home and is alone most of the day I am worried to leave him, which I think is probably a bit silly when I rationalise it, but I took today off  to be around but will obviously have to go back soon. Type 1 diagnosis in adulthood is obviously rarer; I have brought lots of books and information,but it would be great to hear from others who are in the same boat.
Many thanks in advance.
Take care.
B


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## Robin (Apr 19, 2016)

Hello, Becky, and welcome to the forum. Ask away! No question is stupid, it's just something you need an answer to!
Type 1 in adults isn't as rare as all that, there are quite a few of us on here, me included. It's amazing how many people, including doctors, haven't heard of it, though.


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## Northerner (Apr 19, 2016)

Becky123 said:


> Hello all,
> Hope you are having a good Monday.
> My partner was diagnosed with type 1 on Friday and whilst he is coping amazingly so far considering, it is a huge amount to take in. I don't think the shock has set in and I am worried for him when it does. Currently he seems to be coping better than I am which I feel guilty about. We are going to a support group soon but I was hoping it would be OK for me to ask some of the stupid or scary questions that I wouldn't ask him at this stage or his care team. I am currently feeling pretty worried about going back to work after the weekend (which we were away for-which seemed to be a good buffer- but it's his first day in 'reality'). As he works from our home and is alone most of the day I am worried to leave him, which I think is probably a bit silly when I rationalise it, but I took today off  to be around but will obviously have to go back soon. Type 1 diagnosis in adulthood is obviously rarer; I have brought lots of books and information,but it would be great to hear from others who are in the same boat.
> Many thanks in advance.
> ...


Hi Becky, welcome to the forum  Very sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis - how did it come about? I was diagnosed as an adult also (aged 49). I'm not actually sure that it is rarer in adults, it's just that it is often associated with children and younger people as it is highly unlikely for a child to be diagnosed as Type 2, so they used to call it 'juvenile diabetes'. You can be diagnosed Type 1 at any age. Often, people are misdiagnosed as Type 2 which can then lead to incorrect treatments, so it is good that he has received a correct diagnosis.

People react in different ways to their diagnosis. I think that, personally, I coped very well, adapting to the regime fairly quickly. I think it takes a while to sink in that it's a permanent arrangement, and that it's not just for a few days, weeks or even months like perhaps most things we suffer from in our lives. I hope that he is getting good support from his healthcare team, mine certainly helped me a lot in the early days. The good thing to bear in mind is that it doesn't have to restrict his life in any way, it will just need a bit more planning and preparation whereas before things might have been a bit more spontaneous. I'm on my own most of the time (by choice!) and have always been able to take good care of myself - your concerns are understandable, but I am sure he will be able to manage 

I would highly recommend getting a copy of Type 1 Diabetes in Children Adolescents by Ragnar Hanas. Don't be misled by the title - this book is relevant to people of all ages! It covers every aspect of living with Type 1 in a very 'readable' style, and is invaluable as a reference and also for just generally finding out what it is all about 

Please let us know if you (or he!) have any questions at all, there are loads of friendly, knowledgeable people here who will be more than happy to help


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## Becky123 (Apr 19, 2016)

Morning Robin, 
Thank you so much for replying so quickly.
Feel free not to answer any of these, but I guess it would be really helpful to get a sense of how the next few months might be, it all feels very unknown and in order to support my partner it would be great to know a bit about others experiences directly after diagnosis if that is OK to ask. I have quite a lot of fears of the health impacts both now but also in terms of long term prognosis. I am also worried about the psychological impact of the diagnosis for the person diagnosed and those around them. He is taking it very much in his stride, which is great but I think I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and the realisation that this is a lifetime condition... Sorry this response is pretty vague and chaotic, think that might be how my brain is working currently! 
Have a lovely rest of the morning.
B


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## Alan.tnh (Apr 19, 2016)

Hi Becky,  Firstly welcome, secondly loose the guilt you have done nothing wrong nor has your partner. This is a major thing to be told at any age, it will take time to adjust. If you just read some of the posts on here from the last 3 months that I've read you will see individuals, and parents, carers alike who have been in the very scared/confused and worried, and now are accepting and learning how best to deal with this major disease. The good news is it does get easier I promise. Wish you both all the best on your journey. Al


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## Becky123 (Apr 19, 2016)

Thank you Northerner,
I will certainly get a copy of that, Type 1 for dummies arrived this morning so I'll get started on that this afternoon.
Did it take you long to work out the 'Carbs and Cals' calculations? 
Many thanks for your time
B



Northerner said:


> Hi Becky, welcome to the forum  Very sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis - how did it come about? I was diagnosed as an adult also (aged 49). I'm not actually sure that it is rarer in adults, it's just that it is often associated with children and younger people as it is highly unlikely for a child to be diagnosed as Type 2, so they used to call it 'juvenile diabetes'. You can be diagnosed Type 1 at any age. Often, people are misdiagnosed as Type 2 which can then lead to incorrect treatments, so it is good that he has received a correct diagnosis.
> 
> People react in different ways to their diagnosis. I think that, personally, I coped very well, adapting to the regime fairly quickly. I think it takes a while to sink in that it's a permanent arrangement, and that it's not just for a few days, weeks or even months like perhaps most things we suffer from in our lives. I hope that he is getting good support from his healthcare team, mine certainly helped me a lot in the early days. The good thing to bear in mind is that it doesn't have to restrict his life in any way, it will just need a bit more planning and preparation whereas before things might have been a bit more spontaneous. I'm on my own most of the time (by choice!) and have always been able to take good care of myself - your concerns are understandable, but I am sure he will be able to manage
> 
> ...


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## Becky123 (Apr 19, 2016)

Thank you Al, what a friendly lovely forum.



Alan.tnh said:


> Hi Becky,  Firstly welcome, secondly loose the guilt you have done nothing wrong nor has your partner. This is a major thing to be told at any age, it will take time to adjust. If you just read some of the posts on here from the last 3 months that I've read you will see individuals, and parents, carers alike who have been in the very scared/confused and worried, and now are accepting and learning how best to deal with this major disease. The good news is it does get easier I promise. Wish you both all the best on your journey. Al


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## Robin (Apr 19, 2016)

I know what you mean about the other shoe dropping! I think I had a moment several months in when I thought I'd got my numbers all buttoned down, and then they all got worse again. That s when I realised it was going to be a constant ongoing tweaking process. Now I've got 9 years experience under my belt and it's second nature, I know I have to go back to basics and reevaluate, for example, when I'm on holiday or have any other change of routine, when I'm under the weather, when it's Spring and the gardening season gets under way, etc, etc, and I just do it without a second thought.

On a practical note, if your partner drives, is he up to speed with letting the DVLA know ( he'll get a three year licence) and testing beforehand and every two hours while driving?
Does he know about free prescriptions? ( there's a form to fill in from your GP to get a Medical Exemption certificate)


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## Becky123 (Apr 19, 2016)

Hi Robin,
Yes thank you, he has a fantastic care team and the nurse looking after him is just great; thank goodness for the NHS! We have all the information regarding the DVLA and he has sent off the form. He is keeping a log of his readings prior and during driving so hopefully that's all ok. He got his prescription exemption form yesterday, so I am off to pick up a big prescription this afternoon. Can you request a sharps bin from a pharmacy; do they stock them? We have a holiday booked in June that I am feeling a little anxious about that but hopefully by then he will be well on the way to getting to grips with what that might be like. I think illness is something I am thinking about, particularly an illness when you can't keep food or liquid down. I guess that might be running before walking at this stage. It's a bit tiring thinking about everything that we might miss or get wrong- if it's like that for me I keep thinking what it must be like for him. On the plus side, he is feeling much better though which is amazing. Thank you for sharing your pearls of wisdom.


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## Northerner (Apr 19, 2016)

Ask your GP for a blood ketone meter and to prescribe blood ketone strips. These are very useful if he falls ill. Ask the DSN (Diabetes Specialist Nurse) about 'Sick Day Rules' - these are guidelines of what to do if a person becomes ill as blood sugar levels can become more difficult to control. For an idea of what these are about, have a look at this example:

http://www.uclh.nhs.uk/PandV/PIL/Pa...ick day rules – multiple daily injections.pdf

Most illnesses will be perfectly fine to deal with, it's just more serious infections that can become difficult (flu etc.)


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## trophywench (Apr 19, 2016)

Hiya - please welcome your partner on our behalf, to the Club no-one wanted to join!

Still - the members are all nice people you wish you'd met a lot of socially instead of here.  But, as a circle of 'virtual' friends - we do support each other rather well, I think!

It does 'hit you later' as you say.  Just after I was diagnosed someone my husband worked with (T1 since he was 11) kindly sent me a pile of Diabetes UK magazines that he thought I might find interesting/useful.  I did - but the trouble was it also helped bring the 'OMG this really is for ever and ever' thing, home to roost.  I'd sporadically have what I always called a ''Why me?" day and be in tears in the loo at work, or walking down the street.  Occasionally I'd think, Oooh, I haven't had one of them for ages - and eventually it wore off completely*.  It did actually take a few years to disappear entirely though - but there again - I never neglected my D - because I'd been brought up and conditioned to 'just get on with it' by my parents - and so that's what I did.  I don't think I've done too bad a job with 'me' all in all.  I'm still here for starters !  For second - I still have everything I'm supposed to have at the tender age of 66 - toes, feet, legs, kidneys, eyesight etc.  Oh - and a lovely husband!  And that helps no end.

A patient or a partner doesn't have to know everything like an encyclopedia cum medical dictionary - but one of you getting a chronic condition should be a learning curve for both of you, in order to help and support each other.  (Actually a bit like the words in the church marriage service, 'in sickness and in health' for starters and for the 'mutual comfort' of each other too.) 

Carb counting?  Not all that long - but you BOTH need to learn how.  Being interested in cookery helps anyone, as does ever wanting to lose weight, since a lot of younger people these days don't seem to be able to identify proteins from fats from carbs these days and therefore have no idea whatever WHAT they're feeding their faces with!  I was 22 and between the ages of 15 and 21 had always tried to remain slim and made it my business to know .... too much starchy carb (sugar, bread, in fact anything with flour in it,rice, spuds) makes you FAT.  Too much FAT makes you equally FAT.  Too much of anything does too !  And I just wanted to look like Twiggy ..........  Still trying !

* About 10 years ago, someone pointed me at  http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm  That was the first time it had ever been suggested to me that diagnosis with a chronic condition is a form of bereavement.  Sounds batty!  Read what she says though.  It would have helped me in 1972 ..... because it's 'normal' to react like I did.  And I always thought I must be peculiar, so never told anyone!


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## TheClockworkDodo (Apr 19, 2016)

Hi Becky, and welcome to the forum   Sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis.  I can understand your concerns - I often think it's worse for the partners and families of people diagnosed with something like this than it is for the people who actually have the illness, because we worry more about other people than we do about ourselves.

I was diagnosed five years ago, at the age of 44, and I found it quite easy to adjust and learn to manage my diabetes - and even now, I suspect it worries my partner more than it does me (I am alone at home most days too).  It may be that your partner will be like Jenny and go through a grieving process, but on the other hand it's perfectly possible that he will be like me, that there will be no delayed shock or psychological impact, and he'll just get on with living with it!  So don't keep expecting the worst, just be there for him if he needs you.

I went on holiday a couple of months after my diagnosis - it was no problem at all, except that I had more hypos than usual, presumably because I was doing more exercise than usual (we have the country walks type of holiday rather than the lying on the beach type).  Be prepared for that - and also for the reverse, if he is eating food he's not used to and it's difficult to work out the carbs he may have more spikes than usual.  It won't hurt for a week or two.  If you are going abroad it's advisable to let the airline know in advance that you will be carrying insulin and needles etc with you, and also if you're going somewhere hot he may need a Frio wallet to keep the insulin cool.  Weather effects blood glucose levels, so if he finds he needs a bit more or less insulin than usual during the holiday don't worry too much about that.

As far as the long-term prognosis is concerned, please don't worry.  One of the first things I was told by diabetes nurse at hospital is that there is absolutely no reason why a diabetic can't live for as long as anyone else, with no complications at all, so long as they learn to manage their blood sugar levels.  Having a good care team and a supportive partner is going to be a big help for him too


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## BobAird (Apr 21, 2016)

Hi Becky,

I was diagnosed T1 on the 11th March this year - also a Friday. I would say I probably took it in my stride as well but that's not to say I wasn't shocked - and it's still very early for me and I have lots to learn. It's a guy thing. We don't like to appear weak and 'dealing with stuff' helps us feel better. But your partner will need your support, and he will appreciate everything you do for him. I've had a couple of hypo's during the night (and a few more during the day) and my wife - who is also pregnant - sprung out of bed and fetched me fruit pastels, my meter, and then some toast. I'm coping fine with this, but it's thanks to my wife.

But please don't worry too much. He will be fine. And as long as he manages it, he will be healthy. And there will be few restrictions. I'm a policeman and still fully operational in the job! And I go running every morning before work. The NHS really does take very good care of us. We're lucky to be in Britain.

Good luck


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## KookyCat (Apr 21, 2016)

Hi Becky
Another late blooming flower here, diagnosed 2 years ago at 40.  I pretty much just got on with it.  I had some moments of why me, grieved a bit for the lost flexibility and scared the hell out of myself googling various horrors, but there wasn't really a shoe dropping moment as such.  I think the key is to deal with it in the way that's best for you.  Us women folk tend to be a it more forthcoming with our emotions so he might not deal with it the way you would, but as long as he's working through it he'll be OK.  Same goes for you, it's a shock and it will impact you too, so let yourself work through it.  I won't ramble on, just wanted to say hello and welcome really


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## HOBIE (Apr 21, 2016)

Becky123 said:


> Hello all,
> Hope you are having a good Monday.
> My partner was diagnosed with type 1 on Friday and whilst he is coping amazingly so far considering, it is a huge amount to take in. I don't think the shock has set in and I am worried for him when it does. Currently he seems to be coping better than I am which I feel guilty about. We are going to a support group soon but I was hoping it would be OK for me to ask some of the stupid or scary questions that I wouldn't ask him at this stage or his care team. I am currently feeling pretty worried about going back to work after the weekend (which we were away for-which seemed to be a good buffer- but it's his first day in 'reality'). As he works from our home and is alone most of the day I am worried to leave him, which I think is probably a bit silly when I rationalise it, but I took today off  to be around but will obviously have to go back soon. Type 1 diagnosis in adulthood is obviously rarer; I have brought lots of books and information,but it would be great to hear from others who are in the same boat.
> Many thanks in advance.
> ...


Welcome Becky. You have joined a good site. It takes a while to get things heading in the right direction but good luck & keep asking pls


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## SB2015 (Apr 22, 2016)

Hi Becky
I am yet another late T1, diagnosed at 53.  I am osprey to hear of your partner's diagnosis but pleased that he has adapted to it.  A big shock for you and him which will take time to get used to.

In the first week I did not return to work, and my husband phoned me regularly during the first few days.  After one missed hypo, we both realised that I was ant about to pass out each day, and that my trusty test kit along with the insulin was going to stop me going high. 

Keep asking questions as they arise.  Ewe are all here to help.


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## Northerner (Apr 22, 2016)

SB2015 said:


> Hi Becky
> I am yet another late T1, diagnosed at 53.  I am* osprey *to hear of your partner's diagnosis but pleased that he has adapted to it.  A big shock for you and him which will take time to get used to.
> 
> In the first week I did not return to work, and my husband phoned me regularly during the first few days.  After one missed hypo, we both realised that I was *ant* about to pass out each day, and that my trusty test kit along with the insulin was going to stop me going high.
> ...


Sorry, couldn't help having a giggle at the creature references in your post @SB2015


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## Carolg (Apr 22, 2016)

Hi becky and welcome to forum


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## SB2015 (Apr 22, 2016)

Northerner said:


> Sorry, couldn't help having a giggle at the creature references in your post @SB2015



I really should check for typos!  My text messages are of a similar nature.  However good for entertainment.


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## Peapod87 (Apr 22, 2016)

Hi Becky, I'm also very new and was diagnosed on the 14th of march too must be something about that day Bobaird. When I was diagnosed I was hysterical, I couldn't handle it for the first weekend and then I went through a phase where I thought I must be dreaming surely but now I've had it a month I'm slowly getting there. These guys on here are great. I would order the free book from this site its really helpful called 100 things I knew about my diabetes or something. 
Also make sure you have enough test strips, needles etc and set up a repeat prescription service with your pharmacy. Stock your fridge with mini coke cans, jelly babies and other hypo treatments so your ready.
I also got my eyes tested and a retinography screening. Also make sure you apply for his free medical exempt card.
I've also booked an apt with a podiatrist which I am having to pay for as nhs wont offer it to me because of my age .
Carbs and cals app is good its worth familiarising yourself with it.

Also just ask all sorts of questions on here someone is bound to have the answer. Hopefully you have a good diabetic nurse and dietitian as that's really important.

Hope some of that helps  . He will be just fine just familiarise yourself with it all as he may not be taking as much in as you atm its helpful if you make notes on his behalf.

X


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## Northerner (Apr 23, 2016)

You can get a free copy of '100 Things I wish I'd known about diabetes' here:

https://www.diabetes.org.uk/How_we_help/100-Things-book/


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