# Really need some advice and support



## sue63 (May 25, 2010)

Hi this is all new to me. My 20 year old son has just been diagonosed with diabetes Type 1. It has been so sudden the syptoms only developed over 3 days and I have found the whole experience to be so traumatic. My son has been wonderful, he is just getting on with it but as a mum I really feel overwhelmed with all the information and can't helping worrying about the life change for him. Is it normal to feel tearful and anxious.  I want to be supportive and positive and I am to my son but I feel very bewildered at the moment.  Words of reassurance would be gratefully received. Thank you


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## ypauly (May 25, 2010)

It's perfectly normal to feel that way. You have come to the right place for help and support, there are planty of people on here that have really been through it all. I'm guessing as you are posting at this hour that you can't sleep and as easy as it is for me to say try and relax, a clear and focused mind will be better at coping than a tired one.
Most of the good people on this site are here in the daytime and I am certain they will be along when the sun rises to offer words of advice and help.
Remember you are not alone diabetes is very common, there are also very many mothers with great knowledge and experience on here that are going through the same as yourself. Unfortunately my knowledge isn't so good as I am still relatively new to it all.
Oh and welcome to the forum, hang in there the daytime lot I am sure will be a great support.


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## rspence (May 25, 2010)

*Rollacoaster*

HI sue welcome - i say welcome because although I've only been part of this fabulous forum for 2 months i feel like i am at home here and check everyday for threads advse and support and to offer support.

First a big hug to you for having to be on here - like a few days ago you had no need to be on such a forum and now your son and you have to take on board a whole load of info, and like you say life changes.

IT is incredibly normal to feel tearful and anxious. And it is incredibly 'normal' to feel a whole host of other things, like having days when it doesn't phase you then the next day realising thats shock kicking in!!! 

Then there's the grief aspect to the journey - you realise the feelings are alot similar to grief and you have to give yourself time. I've not been very good at giving myself time - after all I'm not the one with diabetes I should do do do do and hold the wider famly together I'm a mum thats my job isn't it  - but then you realise that to hold everyone else you have to also look after yourself. (I'm talking to myself here but I hope some of my waffle gives you hope).

It is indeed a bewildering journey but on here are the folk who will journey with you, gently, holding your hand when you need it, going ahead to shine a light on the path, standing with you to catch your breath and at the right tme you'll begin to do so for others.

Summary: Keep talking and asking, nothing is too silly to ask, you are completely normal, be gentle to yourself.

Rachel (Son type 1 age 2yr 8m)


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## Gemma444 (May 25, 2010)

Hi Sue

Welcome. Your feelings are completley normal. I think all us mum felt the same when our children were diagnosed.  Does he still live at home with you? Try to take one day at a time as filling your head fill of infomation at once doesnt help. Hows is your son feeling about it all? Feel free to ask any questions and someone here will be glad to help. What regime has the hospital put your son on?


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## sue63 (May 25, 2010)

*Thank you already*

Thank you so much for your kind replies already.  My first post was at such an unearthly hour as I couldn't sleep. I seem to have very worrying thoughts at 2am!   I think it is the speed of the illness and shock that have affevted me most. 

My son is at Leeds Uni and phoned me with blurred vision.  I was worried but not unduly as he had been studying hard. But when it continued overnight I felt concerned. Thank goodness he came home and within a couple of hours he was diagnosed. I have really been in a daze since then but my husband has been wonderful and so has my son.  He is a bit quiet and he knows I am worried about him.  I really want to be positive for him but it is hard.  I keep looking at him and can't believe that 2 weeks ago everything was normal!

I am worried he will be returning to Leeds for his exams and I won't be around!
but I know I have to get used to that, I really want him to have a independent life.

He is injecting twice a day and his levels are already in the normal band and his eye sight is back. He is just so brilliant at getting on with it. The nurse has already said he will probably inject more in the future for more control. 

Just silly things like shopping sets me off in tears as he used to love sugary foods!  I know it will get better but it is hard a the moment. 
Thank you for listening to my ramblings


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## rachelha (May 25, 2010)

Sue,

I was diagnosed at 21 when I was in my final year at Uni.  I also have a v v sweet tooth.  Please feel free to ask me any questions you want about diabetes, how I felt about the diagnosis at the time etc.?

It is good that his eyesight has gone back to normal.  I remember mine went the other way round, for a week or so I got away without wearing my glasses.  

I hope you managed to get some sleep

Rachel


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## sofaraway (May 25, 2010)

Welcome to the site. 

It's not uncommon to start people off with 2 injections a day so that they can get used to chekcing their blood sugar and doing the injections and then move onto a more flexiable system. This does mean more injections but is much more flexiable as you can eat at different times and delay meals, sleep in late etc. It also means that you change the amount of insulin to fit with the amount of carbohydrate eaten. So it makes it much easier to have those sweet treats. I have already eaten one of those big cookies today, yesterday I ate chocolate and the weekend I ate icecream, I manged to eat all of these without having adverse effects on my blood sugars. 

Let your son know about this place he might want to sign up, we have members of all ages here. He might want to check this support gorup for young adults if he is interested in that sort of thing. http://circlednyorks.blogspot.com/

Feel free to ask any questions you might have none are silly and won't have been something we didn't ask or wonder about.


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## Kei (May 25, 2010)

Hello Sue!  I know how hard you must be finding it at the moment.  Two of my three children have been diagnosed with type 1 within 7 months of each other, and it's a lot to take in all at once.  Things DO get easier, and you'll find that type 1 diabetes just becomes a part of your son's life and he'll be an expert in no time.  My 7- and 5-year-olds now accept it as just part of them, and cope brilliantly.  I know at 20 you're more set in your ways, but you're also able to understand the technical stuff better.

I hope you manage to get a good sleep tonight, which will make you feel a lot better.  It sounds as if your son is already taking a sensible approach and learning lots about this condition.

(((Hugs)))

Kei
xx


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## SacredHeart (May 25, 2010)

Hi Sue

If your son is interested, I live in York, and I'm just starting up a support group for 18-30's in the Yorkshire area. It's called Circle D North Yorkshire, and Nikki (sofaraway) mentioned it a couple of posts ago. Its website is here http://circlednyorks.blogspot.com Also, if he wants to talk to someone who wasn't diagnosed all that long ago, I'm 25, and diagnosed about a year ago. He's welcome to check out my blog, or give me an email (all info on my signature )

It's really easy to be overwhelmed - it's a lot to take in at the time. But it is better to ask something you might feel is a silly question, than sit up at 2am worrying about it!

You've come to the right place!


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## am64 (May 25, 2010)

hi sue welcome to the forum ... we have quite a number of 'young adults' on the forum who will give your son lots of support and some are or have been at uni ...circle D is an excellant groupfor 18-30's (and im even alowed to be an honoury friend with them all on face book at 46 !!) good luck with everything and remember this forum is always open 24 hrs XXX


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## sue63 (May 25, 2010)

*I am so touched by your concern*

Thank you to everybody for replying...it has made me feel I am not alone. It's funny because yesterday I felt I was coping fine ( the sun was out!) but today I have been tearful. There is a kind of grief for normality but you have encouraged me to see there will be a new normal. 

We are finding the diet a real pain...Rachel how did you cope in the early days changing your diet at university. Joel loves sweet things so he is feeling miserable as he is trying so hard to cut out everything sweet! 

I am also struggling with diabetes being life long......I suppose most conditions are but I am used to him having a 2 week dose of flu!

It just feels scary at the moment and I am trying so hard not to think about any long term complications. 

Joel is quiet today, he is tired and in the middle of uni exams so that is so hard for him. I think he is very scared at being labelled but I will mention the support group - thank you and someone has already contacted him to say his girlfriend has Type 1 diabetes and they are going to get in touch. 

I feel so much for him,I didn't want this cluttering up his life but actually very pleased and grateful that his vision is back and it is treatable. 

Thank you for encouraging me


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## am64 (May 25, 2010)

has he informed the uni re the dx? maybe they can offer some help/allowances ??


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## Northerner (May 25, 2010)

Hi Sue, welcome to the forum  

Your son might benefit from the book Type 1 Diabetes in Children, Adolescents and Young Adults by Ragnar Hanas - it details practically everything you need to know and is very well written.


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## rachelha (May 25, 2010)

Sue

I had been feeling awful for a while when I was diagnosed so initially it was a relief to start feeling better, it was a bit later that the reality of a life-long illness set in.  I had a lot of good friends who were very supportive and my mum and dad got alot of phone calls from me.

I do remember once in a restaurant having to go and have a little cry in the toilets when everyone else was ordering dessert.  Once I was on a more flexible insulin regime though (I started off on 2 injections a day too) you can tailor your insulin to what you are eating so nothing is completely off limits.  Although I do keep sweet things for treats rather than everyday occurances. 

My will power is pretty poor so I try not to have to many sweet things in the flat, so I am not tempted so much.  

Has he told his director of studies about his diagnosis.  I remember I was just below a grade boundary in my finals which I sat the year I was diagnosed. Due to the extenuating circumstances I had an oral exam and was put up a grade.

Your son will still be able to have the life he planned, it may just take a bit more thought and organisation.  I have done a far amount of travelling, lived by myself and am now married and pregnant (not relevant to your son).  

Hope you sleep better tonight

Rachel


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## sue63 (May 26, 2010)

*Thanks Rachel*

Rachel thank you so much.  I did sleep a bit better thank you. 

Joel has informed the university and we are just waiting for them to respond. 

His blood sugar levels dropped quite low last night...down to 4.8 so he was shaky and weak, he seemed quite listlsess yesterday. At this stage it is difficuly to know whether it is the diabetes or he is overwhelmed himself. He is up though ready to go to Notts uni to do some revision. 

He did say yesterday that this is going to be a real pain all the testing but he has really good friends and an amazing girlfriend who is looking after him when he goes back!

The food aspect is hard at the moment but we will get there. 

Thank you for being so honest....my greatest fear was that his life would be on hold forever! but I am jsut beginning to realise things will change but he can still do all he planned. 

Thank you xx


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