# Newly diagnosed parent



## tashaphib (Aug 23, 2021)

Hi all my son has recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Is it normal to feel angry? I'm snapping at everyone and feel like I have to over see everything just to keep him safe even when his dad is doing it.


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## trophywench (Aug 23, 2021)

Oh, Tasha!  Big hugs. 

Don't worry - you are PERFECTLY normal.  I'm pretty sure of that even though I personally have never had a child with D - because it's exactly how a newly diagnosed Type 1 adult feels - and takes a while to get over that.  How does his dad vent his anger?

Personally - I just had to be logical - because nobody and nothing tangible, was to blame and meanwhile I had to still do all the sensible things ie keep myself alive - hence I didn't waste my energy having a rant and so used to just burst out sobbing for half an hour or so instead until I literally ran out of tears, then just gave myself a shake - and got on with my life.

By the way - it is a process of grief!  Look up 'The 5 stages of grief' on the interwebnet.  I have no psychology qualifications but can diagnose you are still at Stage 1 - but don't despair - it WILL just become the new normal.  It just takes TIME is all.

How old is your son - and how's he doing?


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## Sally71 (Aug 23, 2021)

Yes it’s quite normal to feel all sorts of things in the beginning!  It’s a big shock and it’s a life changing diagnosis, so you have to grieve the life that you have suddenly lost forever and try to get used to the new normal.  It does get easier, honest!  You’ll get there because you have to.  In the meantime just take a deep breath and try to get on with learning what you need to and helping your son.  Try to work together with his dad rather than against him and share the load.  There’s a lot to take in, good luck


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## Thebearcametoo (Aug 23, 2021)

Hi and welcome. Everyone has to go through a sort of grieving process with a chronic illness and as parents we often see the bigger picture in ways our kids don’t. It took a while for it to be less raw for me when my daughter was diagnosed at almost 9. Anger is common. And it’s totally ok to work through whatever feelings you have and having to juggle it with looking after your kid and learning a whole load of new information is really stressful. We’re here for you to offload onto as well as to help with general info. We have access to the team psychologist so do lean on your team. We found our nurse really supportive too for the whole family.


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## tashaphib (Aug 23, 2021)

trophywench said:


> Oh, Tasha!  Big hugs.
> 
> Don't worry - you are PERFECTLY normal.  I'm pretty sure of that even though I personally have never had a child with D - because it's exactly how a newly diagnosed Type 1 adult feels - and takes a while to get over that.  How does his dad vent his anger?
> 
> ...


His dad goes to the gym and has a beer or 2 at bedtime for stress relief. My son is 7 and I just feel really guilty that his life has to change and when he asks for sweets etc he has to learn he can't have them like he could before.......hes adapting really well there been a few tears and tantrums which I can understand because it's all for him to accept


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## helli (Aug 23, 2021)

@tashaphib you feeling at the moment are totally understandable. 
I am sure it feel as if your son's life has completely changed but apart from eating less sweets, there should be little he can't do now or in the future - a Type 1 diagnosis is not the end to nice food, sport, travel, etc. that it used to be. Technology and insulins have improved immensely in the last 10 years and seems to be continuing to improve.

I was a bit older than your son when I was diagnosed but can honestly say Type 1 hasn't stopped me doing anything. It has added a few things that I have to do but not taken anything away from me.


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## Thebearcametoo (Aug 23, 2021)

tashaphib said:


> His dad goes to the gym and has a beer or 2 at bedtime for stress relief. My son is 7 and I just feel really guilty that his life has to change and when he asks for sweets etc he has to learn he can't have them like he could before.......hes adapting really well there been a few tears and tantrums which I can understand because it's all for him to accept


We do dessert/sweets after lunch and tea every day so she doesn’t like she’s missing out on sweets and the like. And we tend to do big meals so it cuts down on snacking. It was a big change for us as we’d been a grazing family


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## tashaphib (Aug 23, 2021)

Thebearcametoo said:


> We do dessert/sweets after lunch and tea every day so she doesn’t like she’s missing out on sweets and the like. And we tend to do big meals so it cuts down on snacking. It was a big change for us as we’d been a grazing family


If you have any ideas to share I'll be more than grateful we as a family intent to graze too but trying to find things to cook etc is hard as I'm still unaware of what's best etc


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## Thebearcametoo (Aug 23, 2021)

tashaphib said:


> If you have any ideas to share I'll be more than grateful we as a family intent to graze too but trying to find things to cook etc is hard as I'm still unaware of what's best etc


In the early days it’s advised to eat the same sorts of foods you usually do but try to bunch it up into meals - although at 7 it’s good to plan snacks too. I try to do meals by the clock now rather than waiting until she’s hungry so planning meal times even if you then give a plate of snacks is useful. We tried to have somewhere around 60g of carbs per meal (and about 20g for a snack) when she was first diagnosed. Now she’s older it’s probably more often 80g now but she’s a lot bigger now. If he likes meat, eggs, cheese etc then it makes it easier to give fewer carbs but kids do need carbs to have the energy to grow so don’t think about restricting carbs but more making it enough food to keep him fuller and reduce the need for extra snacks.

You will get the hang of it (and gain the parlour trick of looking at a plate of food and making a good guesstimate of the carbs on it).


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## trophywench (Aug 23, 2021)

Well regular meals are the way really at that age - so you need to embrace the concept of all doing it.  There are no particular foods which are the best - just nothing over processed in general - but even processed stuff isn't entirely banned as long as such things don't comprise the bulk of your family's diet.

Just NORMAL food!


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## tashaphib (Aug 24, 2021)

My son has football training tonight what would be best to give him to stop his sugars dropping?


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## Thebearcametoo (Aug 24, 2021)

Is


tashaphib said:


> My son has football training tonight what would be best to give him to stop his sugars dropping?


 it before or after his meal?

- if within an hour after meal then reduce the bolus (your team may have already given you an exercise adjustment but if not the 20% is a good start) 

If before a meal or long enough after that the peak of the bolus has passed then make sure his BG is higher than usual before he starts. Around 10 is often a good start you will be able to tell more the more data you have). Something like a cereal bar can be a good option as it has a mix of quick release and slower release carbs but a packet of crisps or a couple of biscuit 10-15g carbs is fine. Whatever he would usually snack on. Have hypo treatments to hand and see what happens. In theory he will come down with exercise but it doesn’t always work like that and there’s a lot of trial and error with it. You will have times when hypos happen and are stubborn to treat and times where he’ll go high and sometimes you can’t make sense of why. Just go with the flow.

Your team will be able to give you more specific advice for him about exercise so have a chat. It’s good to have a few weeks of data so they can see patterns. We found there was sometimes a lag and we’d get hypos the next day.


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## tashaphib (Aug 24, 2021)

Fab thank you


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## trophywench (Aug 24, 2021)

The 'next day' hypos is because the effects of strenuous exercise can last for up to 48hrs after the exercise is done.  If he only does this once a week, again it's something you have to note what happens and adjust to once you see what's happening -  nobody can predict exactly what will happen when, so just another part of the (currently) steep learning curve.


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## tashaphib (Aug 24, 2021)

trophywench said:


> The 'next day' hypos is because the effects of strenuous exercise can last for up to 48hrs after the exercise is done.  If he only does this once a week, again it's something you have to note what happens and adjust to once you see what's happening -  nobody can predict exactly what will happen when, so just another part of the (currently) steep learning curve.


Thank you


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## helli (Aug 24, 2021)

If your son drinks water during training, you could add a bit of juice or squash to his water bottle so that he continues to take on carbs whilst he is exercising.


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