# Insults, projectiles, well-intentioned fat-shaming: the perils of being a plus-size runner



## Northerner (May 13, 2019)

“Well, what is an athlete? It’s somebody that gets up, and does what they need to do. Just because they don’t look or act like an athlete doesn’t mean they should get singled out.”

Elizabeth Ayres has been fielding lots of questions since her Facebook post about her experience at the London Marathon went viral. An official pacer for the event two weeks ago, Ayres was running with the slower “blue start” wave at the back when she saw exactly how people can be treated when they don’t fit the stereotype of a marathon runner.

Ayres saw water stations packed up early, official sweepers pushing the runners forward and even contractors yelling insults. “Run, fat boy, run,” is one that Ayres remembers – and the judgment hasn’t stopped since, she says. “Some of the comments that are coming out online are the same ones we heard out there on the course that day. No wonder people go out and run at night, when there are fewer people to see them. Why knock somebody down who’s actually trying?”

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/12/insults-projectiles-well-intentioned-fat-shaming-the-perils-of-being-a-plus-size-runner

I've been running since 1983 and have taken part in many marathons and half marathons. My experience has been that, unless you are elite, size does not reflect ability (nor does age, come to that). Most (if not all) of those responsible for the abuse could not do what the runner is doing, because if they were runners themselves they would not feel any need to judge others.


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## Grannylorraine (May 13, 2019)

Interesting article, as someone who has had young lads in cars shout abuse at me due to my size,  I understand completely how horrible this is, as someone who also suffers anxiety this really affected me when I first started running, but now I just think they are idiots not worthy of me giving a second thought to.  

I think in general with the coming of social media, forum's such as this, people have become more judgemental in general and think it is ok to say what they want all of the time.  An example is a baking page I am on, where some of us are hobby bakers and some run their own business, some of the bakers can be really judgemental and post comments saying how unprofessional the cake looks, but not actually give any constructive critic, the last time someone said that about one of my cakes, I simply replied that they were correct as I am not a professional, but my cakes are made with love from my family.  Sorry deviated a bit.


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## Ralph-YK (May 13, 2019)

The title needs  copy editing/proof reading,  as there is no such thing as "well-intentioned fat-shaming". Or well-intentioned <anything>-shaming.  
Though  maybe shamer-shaming is OK. (Shaming those who shame others.)


Grannylorraine said:


> I think in general with the coming of social media, forum's such as this, people have become more judgemental in general


They always have been.


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## Lisa66 (May 13, 2019)

I agree @Grannylorraine , I think sadly we seem live in a very judgemental world now, I’m sure social media hasn’t help. You’re right about the sort of people who make comments and shout from the safety of their car or whatever, I don’t not think they’d walk up to you and say it to your face if they were on their own, would probably be thinking “good for you”. You almost certainly could run a lot further than most of them, thinking of your recent achievements.

I had an apple core thrown at me a few years ago when running along the main road with a friend. As a non runner it took a lot of encouragement to get me out there...and quite a bit longer to convince myself I wasn’t bothered by what people might think....boy, that apple core hurt though, hit me in the chest from a car doing 40mph


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## Lizzzie (Jun 14, 2019)

Im going to stick my neck out.  Actually, I think that there is such thing as well intentioned fat shaming.

There are many people who take it so much for granted that 'no one wants to be THAT size' or 'no one can be happy when they're THAT size' that they don't realise that being thin is not everybody's first priority.   That illness or enjoying life or caring duties might legitimately come first.

   The worst offenders are often people who have been overweight themselves and found the motivation to.change (which is difficult) because they themselves hated it so much.
They just assume that everyone thinks like they did and hates their body and secretly wants to be thin (but can't be bothered).

Or they genuinely beleive that getting fat people to lose weight will solve a lot of their problems, because this has been marketed at them for years and years and they don't see past it.

These ways of thinking are obviously narrow, but you can see why people buy into them. 

I think innocent comments like- 'obviously nobody wants to be X size' or 'Its so sad being like that' are as hurtful as the deliberately provocative calling out of car windows.   And that the former comments are sometimes ignorance not nastiness speaking.


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## Jodee (Jun 14, 2019)

Lizzzie said:


> Im going to stick my neck out.  Actually, I think that there is such thing as well intentioned fat shaming.....
> 
> .



To me that is like saying, its ok for people to disrespect others because its "well intentioned" ! 
Nothing well intentioned about it.


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## Lizzzie (Jun 14, 2019)

Certainly not in the story about the marathon runners.  That was unforgivable.

But.....    there is a lot more subtle fat shaming than that, where people genuinely as so engrained in the 'anti fat' culture around them that they don't mean to issue an insult.  Eg It simply doesn't occur to them that the fat person walking round the park for exercise isnt ashamed of their body.

'I used to be like you.  Don't worry, you can crack it.'

'Er-  I was just out for a walk.'


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## Jodee (Jun 14, 2019)

Lizzzie said:


> Certainly not in the story about the marathon runners.  That was unforgivable.
> 
> But.....    there is a lot more subtle fat shaming than that, where people genuinely as so engrained in the 'anti fat' culture around them that they don't mean to issue an insult.  Eg It simply doesn't occur to them that the fat person walking round the park for exercise isnt ashamed of their body.
> 
> ...



Not only Marathon runners - it applies in all cases.

Please explain?  I used to be like you ?
Who is it you used to be like and what did you used to be like?

Do you assume I am fat and have been shamed?

or are you relaying what some one said to you?

When you say " I used to be like you, don't worry, you can crack it" sounds a bit condenscending.


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## Drummer (Jun 14, 2019)

Well - at least when you had done it you could show your marathon medal - your photo of you crossing the finishing line, your official time to complete - oh except you can't because the officials packed up and went home thinking you were not worthy of their time and attention. Shame about that. Shame on them.


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## Ralph-YK (Jun 14, 2019)

Benny G said:


> Some concerns are valid, as a jogger I have had food and drink thrown at me by pedestrians and passers by in cars, I have been punched in the face, mugged, and aggressively harrassed.


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## Ralph-YK (Jun 14, 2019)

Lizzzie said:


> well intentioned fat shaming


No such thing. It's an oxymoron.


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## Northerner (Jun 14, 2019)

It's a difficult topic, and whilst there are people who will always be intentionally offensive, whether to cause hurt or offer misplaced 'encouragement', there are also people who are ignorant of the fact they are being offensive, but meaning well. If they can be corrected, then that is a good thing, but I have yet to meet anyone who is so perfectly in tune with everyone else's feelings and situation that they never put their foot in it on one subject or another.


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## MikeTurin (Jun 14, 2019)

Northerner said:


> I've been running since 1983 and have taken part in many marathons and half marathons. My experience has been that, unless you are elite, size does not reflect ability (nor does age, come to that). Most (if not all) of those responsible for the abuse could not do what the runner is doing, because if they were runners themselves they would not feel any need to judge others.








I think there are also elite that have a BMI over 26 and still can run quite fast. See photo. If one is an amateur an is making some sport, why has to be judged for a crappy performance, especially from people outside the sport. An I am not talking about being grilled by the coach because one can't make a decent catch.

People that are fat and are making sports it's maybe because they are trying to lose weight. Mocking them it's mean, but unfortunately there are people that are mean because it's the only thing that makes them think they are powerful.


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## Drummer (Jun 14, 2019)

I remember walking up a bit of a mountain in Scotland and a couple of people made snide remarks and sniggered as they hurried past me in their lycra leggings and gortex boots. I don't know if they ever got to the top, I passed them about ten minutes from the summit and then set off down the other side. I think it was a Trossack - not far from Sterling. 
The thing about going up mountains is that they never look as big as they actually are when you stand looking up, and they don't have shops at the top - not very often, so you need to take your water with you, and anything else you might need. Mocking the dumpy woman with the parasol, factor 50 and leather sandals carrying three litres of water in her back pack is not very clever when all you have is a small bottle of fizzy drink and not even a hat on a blistering day in July.


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## Jodee (Jun 14, 2019)

Drummer said:


> I remember walking up a bit of a mountain in Scotland and a couple of people made snide remarks and sniggered as they hurried past me in their lycra leggings and gortex boots. I don't know if they ever got to the top, I passed them about ten minutes from the summit and then set off down the other side. I think it was a Trossack - not far from Sterling.
> The thing about going up mountains is that they never look as big as they actually are when you stand looking up, and they don't have shops at the top - not very often, so you need to take your water with you, and anything else you might need. Mocking the dumpy woman with the parasol, factor 50 and leather sandals carrying three litres of water in her back pack is not very clever when all you have is a small bottle of fizzy drink and not even a hat on a blistering day in July.


I don't think I can manage a mountain myself not because of weight but because of damaged lungs, but if I could I would have taken same as you Drummer adding to that lots of things to munch on as well


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## Matt Cycle (Jun 14, 2019)

It's not just fat people that get comments or things thrown at them it can be anyone exercising whether they're running, cycling or walking.  Insults thrown at people go on all the time starting in school often not as an out and out insult but a nickname.  Doughnut in the Double Deckers, Piggy in the Lord of the Flies.  Fat, skinny, ginger, wearing glasses, spots etc, etc all get called names. I'm not saying it's right but it goes on and always has.  I very occasionally (surprisingly it is extremely rare) get shouted at from cars when riding my bike but it's usually a egrgggddgghhhh, i.e. unintelligible as it flies past.  Any car that does it it's normally a group of young men. They might be calling me a skinny b*****d but I don't know as I can't hear them.


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## MikeTurin (Jun 14, 2019)

I sometimes insult cyclist, actually. The ones that are running red lights, swerve randomly, anren't using the cycle lane but the motorway entrance (happened twice!) and so on. I also insult other drive for similar reason, in general when I have to brake hard to avoid an accident.

In some cases I know that from a cyclist perspective some manoeuvres seems safe but in a car not, especially running red lights, or not having the lights on. But normally I have no problem with cyclists with runnin bike even if they ave a shinier and newer bike than my 10 year-old MTB.


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## Lizzzie (Jun 21, 2019)

I'm sorry for my rubbish punctuation there.  I was trying to list comments illustrating an attitude to obesity.
EDIT:  actually I don't apologise for my punctuation, I just scrolled up and checked.  I did put it in quote marks to try and show that it was an attitude i was referring to and not me talking.  It obviously didnt convey it well enough.  Sorry about that.
So yes it was supposed to sound condescending.   But my point was that the person saying it didn't mean it that way.



 The 'I used to be fat like you but now I've overcome it you can too' narrative.  Which in my opinion is a) shaming (it kind of assumes that no one wants / is happy with a fat body) and b) well intentioned (because they are trying to spread the word and 'convert' people to a lifestyle which has made them happy, which is a positive thing to intend).

It is also misguided but that wasn't the question.








Jodee said:


> Not only Marathon runners - it applies in all cases.
> 
> Please explain?  I used to be like you ?
> Who is it you used to be like and what did you used to be like?
> ...


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