# Srickly for the men!!!....Lady's, don't look!!!......I mean it!!!!!



## DiabeticDave (Aug 26, 2009)

01.... What is the difference between a battery and a woman? 
A battery has a positive side. 

02.... What are the three fastest means of communication? 
1) Television
2) Telephone 
3) Tell a woman 

03.... What should you give a woman who has everything? 
A man to show her how to work it. 

04.... Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waste? 
Because you could easily fit another pair of t * ts in there. 

05.... How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? 
Put a nipple on it. 

06.... Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? 
Because they don't have balls to scratch. 

07.... Why do women fake orgasms ? 
Because they think men care. 

08.... If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? 
Made her chain too long 

09.... How many men does it take to open a beer? 
None. It should be opened when she brings it. 

10.... Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? 
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably 
Never be able to support you. 

11.... Why do women have smaller feet than men? 
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer 
To the kitchen sink. 

12.... How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? 
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...' 

13.... How do you fix a woman's watch? 
You don't. There is a clock on the oven. 

14.... Why do men pass gas more than women? 
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required 
Pressure. 

15.... If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the 
Front door, who do you let in first? 
The dog, of course.. He'll shut up once you let him in. 

16.... What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? 
A woman who won't do what she's told 

17.... I married a Miss Right. 
I just didn't know her first name was Always. 

18.... Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by90%.. 
It's called a Wedding Cake. 

19.... Why do men die before their wives? 
They want to. 



1001...Women will never be equal to men.. 
Until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


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## insulinaddict09 (Aug 26, 2009)

*Hehehehehe ooops sorry I sneaked in  *


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## sasha1 (Aug 26, 2009)

Hehehehehe ... Me to .... LOL ....


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## Steff (Aug 26, 2009)

me 3 pmsl dave


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## DiabeticDave (Aug 26, 2009)

Blast........where's that parental lock???????


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## Mand (Aug 26, 2009)

Hehehe!! Me 4! Sorry, but it was just too tempting!


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## Freddie99 (Aug 26, 2009)

Hahahaha, quality joke! Good one Dave!


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## Sugarbum (Aug 26, 2009)

Brilliant! One way to make sure the woman log on is to tell them not too!!!!!


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## emmasamduke (Sep 22, 2009)

DiabeticDave said:


> 01.... What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
> A battery has a positive side.
> 
> 02.... What are the three fastest means of communication?
> ...



me 5 and i,m male they wer stonkingly gd


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