# How not to talk to someone with depression



## Northerner (Apr 7, 2015)

Being depressed is really not enjoyable. Depression takes many forms for many different people – some people have highs and lows, some have major depression, some have functional days and others never do.

Depression can involve a huge array of treatments including therapy, medication and experimental modalities. It can be permanent and intrusive, transitive. In all cases, depression is a monster, and depressed people often feel isolated and frustrated by what they’re experiencing. That’s made worse by some of the ways people respond to depression, like it’s something easily understood, and sometimes their suggestions are wildly unhelpful. For those with depression, dealing with these responses in addition to their mental illness is a huge waste of energy – and for those wanting to support depressed people, these attitudes may seem well-meaning, but they’re actually harmful.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/apr/07/not-talk-someone-with-depression


----------



## HOBIE (Apr 7, 2015)

Last week I was talking to an old costumer of mine & he was in a right state. I wont go into details but serious stuff. I could not sleep that nt because he is a wonderful person & a pleasure to know.  I have worked for him 20yrs plus & watched his kids grow up.


----------



## Copepod (Apr 7, 2015)

Interesting that the article doesn't mention the one thing proven to be as effective as medication in treating mild to moderate depression, namely exercise, particularly outdoors. 

See Jake's website, Climb Out of Depression [rock climbing] http://www.climbout.co.uk/ or anything about US ultra runner Nikky Kimball, most recently in UK to promote her film "Finding Traction" about Long Trail, at Sheffield Adventure Film Festival - see http://www.shaff.co.uk/whats-on/lectures/nikki-kimball/


----------



## HOBIE (Apr 7, 2015)

I agree Copepod "Getting out in fresh air" is a tonic & a half


----------



## zuludog (Apr 7, 2015)

A few years ago I saw my GP and he must have noticed that I wasn't my usual cheerful self. He asked me if I was still doing much hillwalking & backpacking. I said no, as I had been feeling fed up for a while.
He must have realised it was early or mild depression or stress or something,  but didn't press the issue or mention the D word. Instead he told me to make the effort and get out on the hill, as

'It is possible to sweat and relax at the same time'


----------



## Bloden (Apr 8, 2015)

Exercise doesn't always alleviate the suffering, but it probably helps. I suppose not all depression sufferers are the same, like not all diabetics are the same.


----------



## petelovano (Apr 8, 2015)

Copepod said:


> Interesting that the article doesn't mention the one thing proven to be as effective as medication in treating mild to moderate depression, namely exercise, particularly outdoors.



Even more interesting is that the article does not mention CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It is what really helps depressed ones - they are confronted with the way their thoughts affect their condition and thus are able to change it usually very quickly. Nice blog about it: http://whatdepressionfeelslike.com/why-is-it-so-hard-to-get-out-of-depression/

Of course getting out and being active helps a great deal. Also knowing that someone cares for the depressed ones means a lot and is very helpful. 

They usually feel like failures, so it can be very hard to communicate. I would learn it from helping my brother out. It takes some time, too.


----------



## Copepod (Apr 8, 2015)

Welcome to the forum, petelovano. Do introduce yourself in Newbies section, if you'd like.

Perhaps CBT isn't mentioned because it's still difficult to get access in some areas?


----------

