# Partner Sad News



## mikeydt1 (Dec 27, 2020)

sat here with tears in my eyes and heart broken.  partner Tee suddenly took a turn for the worse some time today and sadly passed away this evening from Covid related symptoms.  

the worse thing is not been there for them but at least the nurse was there till the end.

this just shows how serious and dangerous the virus is as this happened 14 days from diagnoses and things looked to be going okay.


i am on my own here with absolute no support but the hospital have told me to ring anytime and a doctor is calling sometime tomorrow.  

anyone feel free to private message if you want. i thank all those who have sent kind messages over the last weeks.


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## admc26 (Dec 27, 2020)

I am so so sorry to hear this @mikeydt1. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Please know that we are hear for you and you are very welcome to message any time! 

I hope the doctor provides some assurance. It is quite frightening how serious the virus can get so fast and I think some people seem to forget the risk it poses. 

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss but please do not suffer in silence. Reach out to the forum as I am sure someone will always be willing to listen.


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## Jade (Dec 27, 2020)

Hi Mikeydt1 I’m so sorry to hear your partner died. It’s so hard having Covid and not being able to see loved ones. I know it’s been really tough for my family not being able to see me except on phone. 
I have had some lovely people caring for me as I am sure your partner did too. 
Covid is taking so many people. There are various organisations that can support you. Even just talking to the Samaritans as they are always there to support people. Also Silverline, aimed at 55 +
Take care ok


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## rebrascora (Dec 27, 2020)

Oh Mikey, I am so very sorry. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling. I will be keeping you in my thoughts! XX
It seems so totally trivial in the circumstances but sending (((hugs)))


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## Jade (Dec 27, 2020)

Plus sending you a virtual hug


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## Lilian (Dec 28, 2020)

My deepest sympathy.   It is just too sad for words.


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## Eddy Edson (Dec 28, 2020)

So sorry, Mikey.


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## SueEK (Dec 28, 2020)

So terribly sorry to hear this and what an awful shock it must have been for you. This virus is so dreadful and taking so many loved ones. My deep sympathies are with you and please please keep in touch with us all so we can help support you through this very sad time x


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## Robin (Dec 28, 2020)

I am so sorry for your loss,  @mikeydt1.


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## eggyg (Dec 28, 2020)

Sorry for your loss @mikeydt1.


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## Flower (Dec 28, 2020)

I’m so sorry for your loss @mikeydt1 ,so very sad


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## everydayupsanddowns (Dec 28, 2020)

Oh @mikeydt1 I am so so sorry

I am absolutely heartbroken for you.

Please be kind to yourself, and give yourself time. Do you have friends or family locally?

When my wife died after a short encounter with cancer in 2018 I was amazed at the amount of admin and paperwork that followed, just at the time when your head was really not in the right space.

Do ask the hospital if they have any support networks, or know of any local charities that might be able to help you.

My suggestion would be to make some lists. You will need to go through the formal things like registering and certifying the death, and dealing with wills etc. You can use the ‘tell it once’ system to help with government, council and tax. You will also need to go through banks, building societies, insurance, and any ‘things’ that your partner did as part of your marriage together. Your partner’s address book will be helpful too in notifying contacts.

Then you will need to start planning the funeral.

In time some sort of counselling might be helpful too. And do reach out to charities and your GP if you are starting to struggle.

We are here for you. And support is available, but it’s not always easy to find.

Deepest sympathies for your loss.


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## Inka (Dec 28, 2020)

I’m so sorry to hear this, Mikey. Sending you my deepest sympathy and my love at this awful time.

Take one day at a time and look after yourself. XX


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## ColinUK (Dec 28, 2020)

Mikey I’m so sorry for your loss.


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## AndBreathe (Dec 28, 2020)

mikeydt1 said:


> sat here with tears in my eyes and heart broken.  partner Tee suddenly took a turn for the worse some time today and sadly passed away this evening from Covid related symptoms.
> 
> the worse thing is not been there for them but at least the nurse was there till the end.
> 
> ...



Mikey - I'm so very sad to hear your news.

Sometimes life is unspeakably cruel, and it feels unbearable.  If vibes can send strength, I send you many, many.


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## Pumper_Sue (Dec 28, 2020)

Mikey,
I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
Please do not think you are alone though, we as forum members are all here for you.
((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))


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## m1dnc (Dec 28, 2020)

Mikey, I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say.


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## freesia (Dec 28, 2020)

Mikey, i'm so sorry about your loss. It must have been incredibly hard not to have been there. Please know that we are all here for you. Take care. Big virtual hugs


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## Grannylorraine (Dec 28, 2020)

I am so sorry to read of the loss of your beloved partner.  I understand how difficult it is with not having been able to visit. Please take care of yourself.  Sending my love.


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## Inamuddle (Dec 28, 2020)

So sorry to read your news. Such a sad blow when you thought things were improving. I do hope that there is some support for you somewhere. Thinking of you in this dark time. Sue x


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## Stitch147 (Dec 28, 2020)

I'm so sorry to hear this new Mikey. Sending you love and hugs. Xx


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## ukjohn (Dec 28, 2020)

*I am so sorry and very sad to hear about your loss Mikey. you must be devastated over the suddenness of it all. You have a great network of support in this forum, who are all thinking of you.

John.*


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## KIZZY (Dec 28, 2020)

So so sorry to hear your terribly sad news, love and hugs xx


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## stephknits (Dec 28, 2020)

So very sorry to hear your sad news.  We are all thinking of you.


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 28, 2020)

seems everything has changed since dad went and am not even going to have time to even breath as i got a phone call certification and registration all ready been done over the next few days that is over the phone and have been told to activate the funeral policy all ready!  at this rate it will be all over after next week.

doing feel strange and do feel robbed.  

after another phone call things are been done fast because the body is infected.

i appreciate all the replies god bless all


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## KARNAK (Dec 28, 2020)

Take care @mikeydt1 I am so sad for you and your loss.

Yes things move very quickly with this sort of death and understand you feel robbed,
you won`t have time to grieve properly until its all over.

The forum is here to support you 24/7, if you wish to have a PM with myself or another 
member I`m sure none of us would object only too glad to be there for you.

Take care my friend man hugs for you. {{{HUGS}}}


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## Michael12421 (Dec 28, 2020)

@mikeydt1. I am so very, very sorry to read of your loss. It is so destroying when it happens and I cannot help but feel for you at this time. Please be aware, as I am sure that you are, that we are all here to give as much help and support as we possibly can.


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## Northerner (Dec 28, 2020)

So very sorry to hear your terribly sad news @mikeydt1  Please take care, we will always be right here for you {{{HUGS}}}


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## trophywench (Dec 28, 2020)

I'm so sorry Mikey.


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## Lanny (Dec 28, 2020)

I’m so sorry for your loss!


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## danielmg (Dec 28, 2020)

Very sorry for your loss, and my condolences to you and your family.


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## Bloden (Dec 28, 2020)

How awful @mikeydt1 - I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. ((((Hugs)))).


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## Ljc (Dec 28, 2020)

I am so sorry for your loss .
My condolences to you and your family. 
 It is such a difficult time for you .


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 28, 2020)

just had a lady visit me and lives down from where i am offering to help where possible including taking me to the funeral in due course.  still many nice people out there and on here off course.

went as far as wanting to take care of me if any thing happens only one problem i don't fancy going yet


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## rebrascora (Dec 28, 2020)

So kind of the local lady and good to see you haven't totally lost your sense of humour despite your tragic circumstances... Thinking of you all day and hoping you are managing to cope with the devastating situation you are in. Sending love and more (((hugs))) All you can do is take it one step and one day at a time.


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 28, 2020)

got to do or you just crack up.  perhaps a safety valve as i was in shock from last night onwards.  i know Tee wouldn't want me like this more a happy person.

i am going to ring my doctors in the morning and see if i can have something just to take off the edge for a little while.


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## Vonny (Dec 28, 2020)

So very sorry @mikeydt1, how devastating for you. It must be unbearable xx


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## Barbie1 (Dec 28, 2020)

So sorry to hear your news @mikeydt1.

(it is truly amazing how much can now be done remotely, by phone or on-line; at least that gives us one very small thing to give thanks to COVID for.)

best wishes 
Barbie


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## SB2015 (Dec 28, 2020)

So sorry to read your sad news @mikeydt1 .
Glad to hear that neighbours are reaching out and that you pan to contact your GP.
Thinking of you at this difficult and sending hugs.


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## Flutterby (Dec 28, 2020)

I am so terribly sorry to hear this. Please consider yourself hugged.xx


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## nonethewiser (Dec 29, 2020)

My sincere condolences Mike.


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## rebrascora (Dec 29, 2020)

Hope you managed to get something from the GP to settle you a bit and perhaps help you sleep. Thinking of you and sending more (((hugs))).


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 29, 2020)

many thanks rebrascora i have telephoned the doctors and am waiting for a call back.

at least someone has now offered to help which takes some pressure off.

not sure what the policy is of other hospitals when seeing loved ones, ours has totally stopped visitors but when someone is dying and you can't even be there for them is so not good.

think there have been a few news articles about the above.  the trouble is if they have covid then it is high risk and look at the staff going down like flies.  such a major problem for many.


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## rebrascora (Dec 29, 2020)

I can't begin to imagine how heartbreaking and devastating it must be not to be able to be with a loved one at the end when you know there is no hope (or even when you don't know but the risk is there) and it is the cruelest thing about this pandemic, but she didn't die alone and the nursing staff are doing their utmost to comfort people in this horrendous situation which must be incredibly difficult for them, especially when they are having to cope with it on a daily basis. I don't know how they manage to go to work every day to face that (even discounting the personal risk to themselves and their families)... just the mental strain must be overwhelming.
Hope you get something from the docs today to help ease the pain a little. X


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## Thebearcametoo (Dec 29, 2020)

I’m so sorry for your loss. This is such a difficult time to grieve. Not being able to say goodbye, funerals being limited etc is robbing so many people of the normal grieving routines. Please be extra gentle with yourself in the coming weeks.


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## Pine Marten (Dec 29, 2020)

I am very sorry to hear your sad news, mikey, it's horrible at any time let alone in current covid circumstances. Please look after yourself as much as possible, and take things one day at a time.

I hope the doc manages to give you some help today. Virtual {{{hugs}}} from me too.


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## Davein (Dec 29, 2020)

mikeydt1 said:


> many thanks rebrascora i have telephoned the doctors and am waiting for a call back.
> 
> at least someone has now offered to help which takes some pressure off.
> 
> ...


My partner of 40 years died on 4th December. She was taken in 10 days prior as the cancer had spread to her brain.  Despite the family requesting visits they were all declined until 'end of life' procedures were enacted. They called us in mid morning on the 4th, myself and my daughter. We got through security at the main entrance and had to use the intercom at the ward entrance. Every door was guarded by security. Despite end of life only one of us was allowed in (with PPE) Our daughter was very distressed and as she had a very close relationship with her mum  I made the agonising decision she should see her mum to say goodbye, The nurse told me I would be able to visit the next day.
 My daughter reappeared a few minutes later telling me her mum had died shortly after she was at her bedside.
 So I never got to say goodbye. The nurses and security were very good and understanding.
So I completely understand your distress.It is very cruel and inhumane to treat families in this way but I guess necessary.
The hospital's bereavement office will electronically pass the paper to the chosen undertaker and the registry office will arrange a 30 minute appointment over the phone to produce the death certificate, so you will need certain info to hand during the call. Normally registering  a death has to be done within 5 days but with covid this isn't strictly kept.  The patients possessions are kept in quarantine  for up to a fortnight. 
That was my experience and that was in a hospital in a county that had one of the lowest covid infection/death rates (Cornwall)


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## freesia (Dec 29, 2020)

I'm so sorry about your loss @Davein, this virus is affecting so many peole in so many ways. That must have been so hard for you. Sending big hugs your way


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 29, 2020)

that is so awful davein all you have then is memories of what your loved one was like before things got nasty that is all i have.  i spoke with my partner over 3 weeks ago then the phones went silent so telephoned every few days till the end.

have spoken with my doctors and she has done a couple of prescriptions one for an antbiotic as i got so stressed it caused like stress incontinence but i have a catheter in so i was then more irritated and passed blood. 

the other is to help ease some symptoms like a knock on so the whole idea is to get some balance.

well the funeral day and date has been booked for mid next week only problem is that the registry office haven't been in touch i have explained this told not to worry all very well but will feel like a right plonker if it has to be re-booked.   been told not to go overboard on flowers as they are now been dumped which is a shame so am going for partners part wishes and am going for a single rose.

the speed of things though wow no time to grieve guess it is the best medicine.  after the   funeral i will get the ball rolling with various paper work more in my comfort zone then at the same time i can come to terms with what has happened.

finally doctor wants me to have some counselling


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## Perfect10 (Dec 29, 2020)

I am so sorry to hear your sad news xxx


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## AndBreathe (Dec 29, 2020)

mikeydt1 said:


> that is so awful davein all you have then is memories of what your loved one was like before things got nasty that is all i have.  i spoke with my partner over 3 weeks ago then the phones went silent so telephoned every few days till the end.
> 
> have spoken with my doctors and she has done a couple of prescriptions one for an antbiotic as i got so stressed it caused like stress incontinence but i have a catheter in so i was then more irritated and passed blood.
> 
> ...



Mikey - we're all different, in terms of how we process and handle things, but when my Dad died, I can recall going with my Mother to the bank, building society, insurance offices and so on, "getting things done", in the days afterwards, and then his funeral was 4 days after his death, which in Scotland was seen as quite a long time.  My brother was away on business at the time and getting him back from Central Africa wasn't entirely straightforward.

Some time afterwards, I spoke with Mum about what got done and when, in those incredibly early days, and how she had coped with it.  Her response was that she had got done what she could whilst still in that shocked, numbed phase as it all seemed so surreal, and dreamlike.  Looking back, she felt she might not have handled it well several weeks later.

To be honest, I took from that that she had tried to find the best she could out of a really very rubbish set of circumstances.  I think that's the best anyone can do.

Do things as you can and when you can.  There will always be things we can't control or manage, but I think there are many more of those things at the moment.

Try to remember the many, many happier times I'm sure you shared.


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## Pine Marten (Dec 29, 2020)

I'm so sorry to hear about your partner, Davein, what a horrid experience. Look after yourself and your daughter and be kind to yourselves in the coming days and weeks. Sending {{{hugs}}} to you both.


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## Hardy (Dec 29, 2020)

I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss, Mikeydt1. And Davein. A truly distressing time for both of you.


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 29, 2020)

that surreal and dreamlike state is what i am feeling. couldn't really describe it till i saw those words.  in the dreamlike world you think this can't be real but then deep down you know it is.  such a strange feeling though.


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## Bloden (Dec 29, 2020)

So sorry to hear about your loss @Davein.


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## Inka (Dec 29, 2020)

Sorry for your loss @Davein It’s an added cruelty not to be able to be with loved ones at that critical time.


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## Sharron1 (Dec 29, 2020)

mikeydt1 said:


> sat here with tears in my eyes and heart broken.  partner Tee suddenly took a turn for the worse some time today and sadly passed away this evening from Covid related symptoms.
> 
> the worse thing is not been there for them but at least the nurse was there till the end.
> 
> ...


So sorry to read of your loss. Not too sure what else to write. Please take care.


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## nonethewiser (Dec 29, 2020)

Condolences Davein, so sorry for loss of your partner.


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## SB2015 (Dec 29, 2020)

So sorry to hear of your wife’s death @Davein 
Such a hard time for you and your families.
Love and hugs.


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## MarkGeordie (Dec 30, 2020)

So sorry to hear your of your loss and sad news. We are all here for you at this hard time.


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## adrian1der (Dec 30, 2020)

So sorry to hear the news @mikeydt1 and @Davein


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 30, 2020)

well was talking about the register and they have booked me for a phone appointment in the morning.

i am on my own till Saturday but even with the stresses it is surprising just what can be done.  at least in the morning i will know it is final then i can concentrate on preparing for the funeral.  will be dealing with financial side also from next week onwards.

think my best medicine is just to keep busy.

nearly everything is done my partner certainly was thorough with what would happen in the event and not many ties to deal with.  

the funeral is also nearly complete now just been running through my partners life, flowers also been sorted then that is that.

one final stage will be bank and will   i will deal with that once i have the death certificates.


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## rebrascora (Dec 30, 2020)

Pleased you are managing to keep busy Mikey. Pleased that is helping you to cope during this difficult phase. The single rose idea is a lovely gesture.... simple and elegant. 
Thinking of you and sending love and more (((hugs)))


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## Ditto (Dec 30, 2020)

I am shocked and so sorry to hear the news too @mikeydt1 and for your loss @Davein


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## Veenorthants (Dec 30, 2020)

So sorry for your loss x


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## Totalwar (Dec 30, 2020)

Sorry for your lost.Take care looks like you have loads of friends here.


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 31, 2020)

doctor wanted me to have some counselling.  checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list!  not sure what else there is in Lancashire.  one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.


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## Drummer (Dec 31, 2020)

mikeydt1 said:


> doctor wanted me to have some counselling.  checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list!  not sure what else there is in Lancashire.  one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.


Maybe go back to the doctor and see if there are other options.
I remember there being some reassuring - if that is the right term for them, cassette tapes some time ago now. You were supposed to set them going and just settle back and listen. One side was poetry and music and the other was talking I think. There might be something like that to download, though I am sure that just the idea that it might be useful might seem ridiculous at the moment. 
I wish that there was something more I could offer.


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## freesia (Dec 31, 2020)

mikeydt1 said:


> doctor wanted me to have some counselling.  checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list!  not sure what else there is in Lancashire.  one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.


Is there something in your area called IAPT? Its a free counselling service where you can self refer and i think its run by the NHS. They do an initial assessment over the phone. If they do it might be worth it. Someone i know used it locally and found it really helpful.


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## Lucy Honeychurch (Dec 31, 2020)

So sorry to hear of your loss xxx


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 31, 2020)

i have telephoned the doctors but in the mean time will do another search.

many thanks Lucyxxx


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## Perfect10 (Dec 31, 2020)

There is always a 3-4 month waiting list for counselling so it would be worth getting on the waiting list. It may be too soon right now to start it anyway for it to help so 4 months sounds like a good idea. There are some good mindfulness apps which may help in the meantime x


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## AndBreathe (Dec 31, 2020)

mikeydt1 said:


> doctor wanted me to have some counselling.  checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list!  not sure what else there is in Lancashire.  one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.



I had a couple of sessions, a few months after my Mother passed away.  I had just ended up exhausted by a perfect storm of events in the time surrounding it.  For example, I went back to work from my compassionate leave to start a brand new job (internal promotion), in a different part of company, which involved crippling travel.

Maybe a few weeks of the dust settling could be helpful before the counselling starts?

I have at other times used a psychologist who is a practising hypnotherapist.   Her approach is to take her remit from her patient - i.e. what you need help with, then she'll do a session with you, which you then give feedback on.  The feedback was how I felt afterwards, and how I felt in the few days afterwards.  That first session was free, to assess if she felt she might be able to help me, and that I might benefit from that help.

At the second session, the session was tweaked a bit, based on feedback, but recorded, and given to me, to use as frequently as I wanted.

My remit to her at the time was that I needed some head space to get things done (like living my life!), and to be able to set the things stressing me to one side for a while.

I have gone back to those recordings (had to convert from CD to mp3 files - that shows how long ago it was) a few times.  

I am still in contact with that lady, and would go back to her in a heartbeat.  She'd not be much use to your Mikey, as I'm not in your area, but there may be others like her?

Her session aren't the cheapest, but there's no hanging about, and in reality I paid for 2 session (I had a top-up and a tweak to the recording - meaning I had 2), but have resources I can still go back to.

It's a very difficult time for you Mikey.


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 31, 2020)

just found out from the registrar that partner Tee would of died at home there were other factors besides covid what caused the death and really is a godsend as that would of broken me.  one of the factors was Parkinsons and i had a dear friend years who had that and died from it, it must of been in the really late stages.

any way now the registration of death has been done hopefully when they collect my partner Tee will be at long last be in peace.

when i telephoned a bereavement service the person sounded it bit morbid so perhaps a good few weeks of waiting could be a good idea.

finally got a nice surprise through the post it was a condolence card but wasn't expecting it to be from doctor and the whole staff of the practice.  

just shows how many people my partner knew well they were here quite a lot doing treatment and got to know both of us.


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## gail1 (Dec 31, 2020)

thinking of you you are in my thoughts and prayers


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## happydog (Dec 31, 2020)

Mikeydt1 and Davein this is a heartbreaking time for both of you.  I send you both many {hugs}.  The loss of a loved on is almost unbearable so the fact that you did not get to say your goodbyes adds yet another layer.  I am so sad for both of you.  We are all here to support you at this time.  It is hard but try to look after yourselves through this stressful time.  I hope that family and friends will help you too.  They too are grieving.  Try to remember the good things that you enjoyed together and the happy times.  Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.  Take care.


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## What the..? (Dec 31, 2020)

Hello Mikey - I am so sorry for your loss, it must feel like a nightmare.  I don't know if this would be any use to you at all, but there is an organisation called The Good Grief Trust, link below, which I think has a lot of helpful information and various links to other relevant organisations etc.  I have no experience of it myself, but found it a couple of months ago for a friend who was struggling, understandably, after a bereavement.  I think there is a specific section which talks about losing someone to Covid.
Home – The Good Grief Trust
I was worried that the name might strike you as frivolous, but looking at their website it's clear that they are sincere in their efforts to help people.
Sending very best wishes,
Helen


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## Ljc (Dec 31, 2020)

mikeydt1 said:


> doctor wanted me to have some counselling.  checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list!  not sure what else there is in Lancashire.  one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.


Hello @mikeydt1 . On anotger  site I heard about Cruse  a  bereavement counselling service. I hope you find them helpful .


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## mikeydt1 (Dec 31, 2020)

i have taken the opportunity to register with cruse problem lays with the waiting lists guess so many have gone with the virus or other illness during this year.  

after speaking to my doctors and with me having depression they have booked me in for listening service couple of weeks after the funeral.  they have also upped one of my medications.

don't worry if i feel myself spiralling down then i will seek advice straight away.

well i knew something had to go haywire probably partner would of smiled now as this is the normal for me.  registrar going through doctors details found spelling mistake but had to record it with the spelling mistake.  told that if it was to be corrected then it delays the process something so simple as a doctors spelling mistake and everything can go to pot.

next told i could order more certificates so went online with a given link got half way through then came to BDM code, what!  sat there for ages thinking what the hell is this turns out i have to wait for the main certificate to come through then i can fill the online form in.  

oh the joys of things going steady then something throws a wobbler.  at least it makes me smile afterwards.


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## rebrascora (Dec 31, 2020)

So good that you are managing to keep a bit up beat despite the tragic circumstances. Thinking of you tonight and hoping the New Year is kind to you.... and to everyone... we need more kindness in the world!


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## trophywench (Jan 1, 2021)

Another vote for Cruse here.  Bill Cruse was a teacher at West Bromwich Grammar School in the 1950s and 60s cos he taught my sister there and he struggled A Lot after his wife died, so started Cruse (hence the name anyway) to try and help others, and always has.


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## NotWorriedAtAll (Jan 1, 2021)

Just wanted to give my condolences to you both @mikeydt1 and @Davein I hope you will get the support you need in the coming months.


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## New-journey (Jan 1, 2021)

Sending hugs and my love to you Mike, so tragic and hope you get the support you need and deserve.


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 1, 2021)

think the registrar was a bit amused at the end when i send that my partner will be able to get picked up now for rest.  must of thought we were going to get a taxi 

many thanks notworried and new-journey.  these message of condolence mean so much esp when i am on my own and are giving me so much strength.

sending lots of hugs rebrescora


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 1, 2021)

trophy the lady at cruse was so nice not like the other one who was so depressing.  had a good chat which lifted my spirits.  interesting to know the background.


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## Ljc (Jan 3, 2021)

Big {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 3, 2021)

i like the picture of the owl.  when my dad passed away i was in the back garden was a bit down and be dammed saw what i thought was a little owl walking around.  

every morning i do hear the hooting sound of an owl and more weird i was out recently and be dammed the sound of an owl   that was when my partner passed on so weird.


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## Annemarie (Jan 3, 2021)

Dear, dear @mikeydt1 I am so very sorry to read your sad news and hear the pain in your words. As you said Tee wouldn’t want you like this so do one thing for Tee and that is look after you x


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 3, 2021)

i promise Annemarie that i will do my best.  getting help now and was just made a lovely Sunday dinner so not used to that and feel like i am going to explode (pop)

shows that when it comes down to things there are still lovely caring people esp on here to which i will be forever grateful.


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## everydayupsanddowns (Jan 4, 2021)

So so sorry to hear of your loss @Davein - and particularly the upsetting circumstances at the end. 

Sincere condolences to you and your family


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## everydayupsanddowns (Jan 4, 2021)

mikeydt1 said:


> i have telephoned the doctors but in the mean time will do another search.
> 
> many thanks Lucyxxx



Hope the Cruse counselling comes through for you.  I have had 6 weeks of counselling with them, which was very helpful.

Shame about the waiting lists, but I think they are quite stretched at the moment


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 5, 2021)

had a nice touching condolence card from the hospital that then started the  grief process as basically over the last week just been so busy stopped it.

my partner was supported right up to the end.


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## rebrascora (Jan 5, 2021)

It was to be expected that the grief would hit you eventually. So kind of the hospital staff to send a card but understandable that it would trigger an emotional response as they were your last connection to Tee. Keeping busy helps but there is only so long that you those feelings can be held back and sooner or later they hit you like a ton of bricks. I hope you are able to get access to the Cruse service again but we are here to support you in any way we can. Perhaps you might like to tell us a bit about Tee...


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 5, 2021)

i used to work in a large hospital and sometimes it makes you wonder how nurses deal with such things, i was bound over due to the job i was doing but that was the breaking of me.  got to have great admiration for what they do.

the lady who is helping has just lost her sister so for her to be helping is something beyond duty.

in just over a week i have an arranged listening call from my own doctors which is kind of them. 

i was on FB yesterday and after 30 years i have found my lost niece just waiting to see if the account is still used.


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 5, 2021)

my loving partner is now in rest which is a relief till the big day tomorrow.  the grief has certainly started after i got a phone call from the director this morning had a good chat but was in tears at the end.


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## Ljc (Jan 5, 2021)

mikeydt1 said:


> my loving partner is now in rest which is a relief till the big day tomorrow.  the grief has certainly started after i got a phone call from the director this morning had a good chat but was in tears at the end.


((((((HUG))))))
Just be how you need to be right now.


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## rebrascora (Jan 5, 2021)

You know it is natural and part of the process so don't try to suppress it. Tomorrow will be difficult, especially with all the restrictions. I honestly do not know how people are coping without a hug from loved ones. It is beyond cruel. Will be thinking of you and hoping it all goes smoothly and you draw courage and support from family and friends in whatever way is possible. 
Also sending more virtual ((((hugs))))


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 5, 2021)

yep rebrascora things are not so good out there and we are now seeing some of the devastation on here as well.  

as you say the worst part is not been able to hug your loved ones that is 

just been speaking with the council as it was joint tenancy and they are going through the process to sole tenancy and also after having a good chat they are going to try and sign post me because of depression background.


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## SB2015 (Jan 5, 2021)

I am glad that the people you have been in contact with through all this have been so good Mikey.
Tears are there for a reason.  Let them flow when they come.


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 5, 2021)

what a fantastic funeral care package we have as they carry out a welfare check just got a call today and they are phoning in a few days after the service to make sure i am okay.  

tears def flowed this morning and yesterday need to as i have not really been allowed that grieving process until now.


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## Ditto (Jan 5, 2021)

It hits you like a ton of bricks but later I think. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm still grieving for my Dad and he went in 1971. (((hugs)))


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## mikeydt1 (Jan 6, 2021)

well today is the big day late on though.  a time to reflect on all the good things we had together.

just glad the doctors picked up on the error of diazepam or it would of been 'we are here today to celebrate life of and by the way can someone call an ambulance for Mike as he seems totally stoned out of his brains'


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## rebrascora (Jan 6, 2021)

Good to see you can still joke about life's adversities. 
Will be keeping you in my thoughts today. I am sure you will do your best given the current circumstances to give her the send off she deserves. Hope it all goes smoothly. (((( more hugs))))


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