# Abit of parenting advice needed please.



## Steff (Feb 15, 2010)

Well that time in my sons life came when he asked why have all my mates got a mobile and i have not, so we tryed to explain your 8 years old you dont need one , he then said well my freind jack has one and he is 7, we then said well thats jack not you so its a no, then yesterday after about a week of not mentioning it me and his dad had a chat and he said would it be that bad if we gave him one of my old ones we dont top it up but it does mean when he is out playing and we need to get in touch or he is late coming in then we wil be able to contact him on it, so his dad was kind of coming around to the idea and then so did i ,so now he has his dads old mobile all set up and ready to go i just aint to sure if ive done the right thing, can someone tell me i have or have not so i aint beating myself up I can see way more disadvantages at the moment then advantages.


Cheers.


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## twinnie (Feb 15, 2010)

hi steff i had the same problem my daughter is nine i gave her my old phone with no credit in it she played the games on it for about a week and thats been it she not even charge it for ages now when i asked her about it she said she wanted one cause all her friends had one {only 1 acutally did} its was a novelty for her i think it will come in handy when she a wee bit older hope this helps


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## Steff (Feb 15, 2010)

twinnie said:


> hi steff i had the same problem my daughter is nine i gave her my old phone with no credit in it she played the games on it for about a week and thats been it she not even charge it for ages now when i asked her about it she said she wanted one cause all her friends had one {only 1 acutally did} its was a novelty for her i think it will come in handy when she a wee bit older hope this helps



Yeah i guess im only 1 day i n with it so will see how he gets on, i also have the worry that of course when he takes it out he will lose it .,


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## LisaLQ (Feb 15, 2010)

Mine didnt get mobiles til they were in secondary, and they're only for letting us know if they're staying for after schools.

I think 7 is a little young, my triplets are 7 and by no means responsible enough to care for a mobile, or know how to use one!


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## bev (Feb 15, 2010)

I got one for A - for obvious reasons! I didnt buy him a 'cool' one that he could lose etc - he got a bog standard one. Anyway, he rarely uses it and always forgets to charge it! Novelty wore off quickly. Now i need to find a way of getting him to take it with him and keep it charged etc - lol! Just make sure you tell your boy not to give his number out to just anyone - only his close friends etc..Bev


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## SacredHeart (Feb 15, 2010)

Wow. I find this such an odd thing. I didn't get a mobile til I was 16 or 17, because I didn't really see the need for me to have one. Even then it was my brother's old one (who got one when he went to uni), and it was held together by a rubber band!


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## Steff (Feb 15, 2010)

So you dont all think its neccesserily a bad idea just with many things it has to be used in the right way.Thanks Bev i have told him you give it to no-one you ask them for there number and put it in your phone.He only has 2 close mates who have mobiles and there good kids.


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## Steff (Feb 15, 2010)

SacredHeart said:


> Wow. I find this such an odd thing. I didn't get a mobile til I was 16 or 17, because I didn't really see the need for me to have one. Even then it was my brother's old one (who got one when he went to uni), and it was held together by a rubber band!



Myself i got one when i was 16 but these days the kids have got it all.


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## am64 (Feb 15, 2010)

they do a cheap ?10 phone these days that is fairly basic and not such a prob if gets lost


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## Northerner (Feb 15, 2010)

SacredHeart said:


> Wow. I find this such an odd thing. I didn't get a mobile til I was 16 or 17, because I didn't really see the need for me to have one. Even then it was my brother's old one (who got one when he went to uni), and it was held together by a rubber band!



I got one in 1997 when they were huge, but I couldn't get a signal on it where I lived unless I went out onto the clifftops! Got my first 'modern' one in 2003 and have spent about ?20 in total on it since then. My last QUARTERLY bill was 30p!

So, personally, I wouldn't give one to a child under 12. I never needed one! When I was 8 if we wanted to converse over a distance we would get two empty cans with a tight piece of string tied between them - much more fun! They didn't work round corners though...


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## Steff (Feb 15, 2010)

Northerner said:


> I got one in 1997 when they were huge, but I couldn't get a signal on it where I lived unless I went out onto the clifftops! Got my first 'modern' one in 2003 and have spent about ?20 in total on it since then. My last QUARTERLY bill was 30p!
> 
> So, personally, I wouldn't give one to a child under 12. I never needed one! When I was 8 if we wanted to converse over a distance we would get two empty cans with a tight piece of string tied between them - much more fun! They didn't work round corners though...



the one we gave him was a freebie belonging to his dad so no expense,I know alan thats why i am becoming uncertain but he has taken it out with him now and i have rang to test it out as he asked me to, now i can see myself going around the bend ringing him all the time asking if he is ok lol.


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## PhilT (Feb 15, 2010)

When I was a kid there were no such thing as mobile phones. 
I remember when the first one's came out and they were the size of army field radio's!


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## katie (Feb 15, 2010)

I'm with the others, I wouldn't give a my child a mobile til about 12 either!  Like Bev though I would probably give my child a mobile if he/she was Diabetic and i'd just give it to them when they are going out alone.


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## HelenP (Feb 15, 2010)

It's a toughie isn't it Steff.  I know what it's like to feel pressured - unfortunately both my older kids had best friends who were only children of quite well off parents, and they seemed to have EVERYthing, unlike mine!  It made life difficult at times!

I can't really see the need for a 7year old to have a mobile phone, but on the other hand, I can't see any harm in passing down an old one that's just good for 'incoming'.  

Only problem you might have in the future is if it's opened the floodgates for all sorts of other requests......................... 

But either way, Steff, he's _your_ son, if you and your O/H decide it's okay for him to have the phone then that's fine,don't fret over your decision, hun.

xx


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## Gemma444 (Feb 15, 2010)

Hya Steff

J has one but he looses interest with it all the time. he just plays games on it and then forgets about it. It doesn't have any credit on it and it's my old one. I do make him take it if he goes to the park with his friend older sister for obvious reasons. You could try it without putting any credit on it see how it goes and your little boy may loose interest after playing the games like my J does.

Gem


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## Steff (Feb 16, 2010)

Yes gemma thats what we have done told him we will not be putting any money on. Ty Helen such sound advice.Just wanted to pick up on a point i notice all the ones with no kids said not a good idea but please understand its diffirent when you have the child standing in front of you.

Anyways first day went well no blips he is having more fun with the camera then anything esle , he took piccies of all his mates he plays with .


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## am64 (Feb 16, 2010)

Steff2010 said:


> Yes gemma thats what we have done told him we will not be putting any money on. Ty Helen such sound advice.Just wanted to pick up on a point i notice all the ones with no kids said not a good idea but please understand its diffirent when you have the child standing in front of you.
> 
> Anyways first day went well no blips he is having more fun with the camera then anything esle , he took piccies of all his mates he plays with .



now thats a thing to encourage him to do ...can he down load his pics and have his own file on computer ?


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## Steff (Feb 16, 2010)

am64 said:


> now thats a thing to encourage him to do ...can he down load his pics and have his own file on computer ?



Yeah im sure thats something his dad can sort.


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## SilentAssassin1642 (Feb 16, 2010)

I got my first mobile when I was in my first year of secondary school, for obvious reasons. I was 11 or 12 at the time. It was never used, just kept in my school bag incase of emergencies


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## Steff (Feb 21, 2010)

Well low and behold a week in and the mobile has gone missing , im seething but daddy is calm as ever,shall see what happens when he gets home in 10 minutes.Rang it first time it rang ever since then it has gone straight to voice mail says to me some one has picked it up and we will never see it again.Decent human being would see it ring and pick up or go to the contacts look where it said home or mum and dad and ring but not these days.


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## Northerner (Feb 21, 2010)

How awful Steff!


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## Steff (Feb 21, 2010)

Northerner said:


> How awful Steff!



Yea we have text the fone i said this belongs to a very upset 8 year old and he really wants his phone back, if you could please bring it back to this address they will be a cash reward.


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## Hazel (Feb 21, 2010)

oh sweetie - I feel for you and your son.

Mine was lost/stolen 3 years ago, just after my Mam died, and where did I have some cracking photos of her, on the phone.

I will never get them back - I could have killed the ******* that made off with it.

I left voice mails and texts, the police reckoned the sim card was removed and ditched and whoever the phone and put in a cheap sim card.

I also lost over 150 contacts - a lot if whom I have never beenable to replace

Good luck though


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## Steff (Feb 21, 2010)

Well we reckon it has either died as son said it was on last bar on life, or it was heard and picked up and now the sim will of just been thrown away and some bugger is sat with his phone. I guess it could of been a whole lost worse.


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## Copepod (Feb 21, 2010)

*Immobilise property register*

Admittedly this is probably too late to help Steff, but anyone can register valubles, including mobile phones, with http://www.immobilise.com as recommended by many UK Police forces.


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## Steff (Feb 21, 2010)

Thanks copepod i have still registered.


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## Gemma444 (Feb 21, 2010)

oh dear Steff I hope someone will hopefully hand it in but not many people do these days. My OH lost his once and a guy met us at a local petrol station. You don't get many that would do that...... got my fingers crossed that someone will ring one of the contact numbers in the phone and give it your lad back.


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## Steff (Feb 21, 2010)

Gemma444 said:


> oh dear Steff I hope someone will hopefully hand it in but not many people do these days. My OH lost his once and a guy met us at a local petrol station. You don't get many that would do that...... got my fingers crossed that someone will ring one of the contact numbers in the phone and give it your lad back.



Yes well i live in hope hun, it is still just going to virgin voice mail, nevermind it was about 10 years old we didnt top it up and it cost us nothing .He has hardly said 2 words to me since we told him off but nevermind had to be told.


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## Gemma444 (Feb 21, 2010)

Yep we can live in hope. My J has lost interest in his again. I think when hes older and he can play out of the street I will then make him keep it on him and top it up.


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## Steff (Feb 21, 2010)

Gemma444 said:


> Yep we can live in hope. My J has lost interest in his again. I think when hes older and he can play out of the street I will then make him keep it on him and top it up.



Well i have confiscated his psp,dsi and ps for 3 days grounded him for 2 days and told him no treats, other half sneakily got out of the punishing and went for a bath grr lol.


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## Gemma444 (Feb 21, 2010)

you have got too. I would punish J if he came in without his aswell! I'm sure it will happen when he takes it out as he looses things at school all the time. It drives me mad haha


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## runner (Feb 27, 2010)

Oh no!  It might make it's way back to you, we have had a lost phone returned.  However, it solves your dilemma in a way!  I know what it's like when your kids put you under pressure - did you know that _all_ my sons' friends had TV's in their rooms from a very young age, and even video recorders (as they were then).  We had a household rule of no TV in bedroom till they were 13, and lo and behold when I spoke to other parents, their children mostly didn't have TVs in their rooms either, but complained that most of their friends did! Had a similar discussion with daughter about pierced ears!

He's your son Steff, you know him best, and as Helen says, you make the decisions and should feel OK about it.


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## Steff (Feb 27, 2010)

runner said:


> Oh no!  It might make it's way back to you, we have had a lost phone returned.  However, it solves your dilemma in a way!  I know what it's like when your kids put you under pressure - did you know that _all_ my sons' friends had TV's in their rooms from a very young age, and even video recorders (as they were then).  We had a household rule of no TV in bedroom till they were 13, and lo and behold when I spoke to other parents, their children mostly didn't have TVs in their rooms either, but complained that most of their friends did! Had a similar discussion with daughter about pierced ears!
> 
> He's your son Steff, you know him best, and as Helen says, you make the decisions and should feel OK about it.



Thank you runner, still no sign and still going straight to voice mail i do ring it every other day just in case .


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## runner (Feb 27, 2010)

Steff2010 said:


> Well i have confiscated his psp,dsi and ps for 3 days grounded him for 2 days and told him no treats, other half sneakily got out of the punishing and went for a bath grr lol.



Whatever front he puts on and whatever he says to you Steff, I'm sure he's already feeling embarrassed and upset because he _had_ to have one and now he's lost it.  Perhaps it's a sign he wasn't quite ready for the responsibility?  (Not criticising your actions, goodness knows it's hard enough being a parent these days, it's just a thought, because you did ask  )


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## Steff (Feb 27, 2010)

runner said:


> Whatever front he puts on and whatever he says to you Steff, I'm sure he's already feeling embarrassed and upset because he _had_ to have one and now he's lost it.  Perhaps it's a sign he wasn't quite ready for the responsibility?  (Not criticising your actions, goodness knows it's hard enough being a parent these days, it's just a thought, because you did ask  )



Oh i totally agree hun i now know he is not mature enough to handle responsibility.


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## RachelT (Feb 28, 2010)

Maybe it's gonna make him think about it and look after the next one he gets, when he's a bit older. You never know your luck, if he thinks "um, i've got a new toy, but i'll look after it coz that time i lost my mobile phone Mum was really worried/angry (delete as applicable)" it could be a good thing.
Kids eh? They don't change. I remember badgering my parents to get a VHS player coz "everybody else has one".
Can't remember losing anything important, but i'm sure it must have happened. I got enough of an ear bashing of my parents when i accidentally ruined my first phone (i spilt cherry coke on it....gahhh!! Don't think about Cherry Coke Rachel!!!) and i was 22.

Rachel


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