# Situation vacant.



## eggyg (Jan 5, 2020)

SITUATION VACANT. Today. 
Must be patient, tidy and organised. Duties to include; removing round or star shaped ornaments, 500 twinkly lights from dead woodland trees without making a mess, able to withstand sharp needles in the forearms. Squeeze aforementioned trees through space far narrower than object. Remove various glittery, gold or silver nicknacks that litter every surface of the home. Pack away all of the above in the boxes that seem to have shrank since the 10th December and try and fit into the shed which has also shrank. Next I require you to take down folded up pieces of card, of which 95% have a picture of a robin on. These you will then read and realise you haven't seen the people these are from since you wore loons and Slade was the Christmas number one, the first time round. Then you will sort them into nice, naff and "personal". The nice you will save to make gift tags with next year ( whatever!) the naff you will put aside to take to Boots to recycle but in reality will throw in the bin on 21st May. The personal you will take up to your bedroom to store in your 'special' drawer which is already overflowing so will just lay them on your dressing table for 6 months. I would also require you to call in once a week til March to hoover all the pine needles which have bred and are now in every room. Very good terms and conditions, ( I'm lying) please apply within.
I post this every year and no one has ever applied! I don’t know why.


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## C&E Guy (Jan 5, 2020)

We did all ours yesterday. Place is looking very bare now.


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## SB2015 (Jan 5, 2020)

eggyg said:


> since you wore loons


Did you have the grandad t-shirts too!!

Just done ours, apart from one room as we have our band Christmas ‘dinner’ tomorrow.
We stick to soup and puds only on the idea that we will all have eaten too much.  They all bring a contribution.
I foolishly thought Brussels sprout and Stilton soup sounded good.  They were polite and tried a bit, but once I declared it disgusting they put it aside, and opted for the other tow options, as did I.  I have promised not to make it again!


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## trophywench (Jan 5, 2020)

Ah well 12th Night is tomorrow so as long as you clear that last room before you go to bed no ill will befall you.

I used to love vacuuming well post Xmas when we used to have a real tree, cos it always still smelt fantastically of pine!


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## Felinia (Jan 5, 2020)

I learned many years ago that Christmas decorations and cats don't mix!  I have a 12" artificial tree for the mantlepiece, some tinsel for the pictures and an "over the door" card hanger.  It takes 7 minutes to put everything up, including getting them out of the cupboard, and the same to put away!!!


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## eggyg (Jan 5, 2020)

As no one answered my plea, yet again! I’ve done it! Two real trees, one huge, one small which resides in a pot in the garden the other 11 months of the year. Cards down, candles in the candle cupboard, yes I do have a cupboard just for candles. Knick knacks away, pine needles hoovered up, surfaces polished. The house looks huge now!


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## SB2015 (Jan 5, 2020)

eggyg said:


> As no one answered my plea, yet again! I’ve done it! Two real trees, one huge, one small which resides in a pot in the garden the other 11 months of the year. Cards down, candles in the candle cupboard, yes I do have a cupboard just for candles. Knick knacks away, pine needles hoovered up, surfaces polished. The house looks huge now!


Just those needles that are in hiding to deal with when they pop out unexpectedly.


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## everydayupsanddowns (Jan 5, 2020)

Ah I was just about to volunteer @eggyg, but I see I am a moment too late. 

And I suspect I won’t remember next year...


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## Flower (Jan 5, 2020)

What is it with fairy lights? A few minutes to put on, a few hours to get off! The elves have been working overtime knitting the lights in to reef knots. All put away apart from Mr R Deer whom I like too much to stick in the cupboard . Sorry @eggyg I'm also too late!


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## Sharron1 (Jan 5, 2020)

eggyg said:


> As no one answered my plea, yet again! I’ve done it! Two real trees, one huge, one small which resides in a pot in the garden the other 11 months of the year. Cards down, candles in the candle cupboard, yes I do have a cupboard just for candles. Knick knacks away, pine needles hoovered up, surfaces polished. The house looks huge now!


Better luck next year...


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## Ditto (Jan 5, 2020)

That made me LOL. Absolute hoot. I'm not taking mine down till tomorrow, it's only Twelfth Night, they'd be celebrating today in the middle ages, they celebrated every single day of Christmas. They must have had stamina in them days. The Wise Men don't get there till tomorrow so I'll be lighting a candle at the main Crib (got tons) and start putting everything away. It'll take me days! I luvs Christmas. I don't buy gift tags...I'm ashamed to say I bought a pair of crimping shears :: red ::


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## silentsquirrel (Jan 6, 2020)

I'm with you, @Ditto , all ours come down at Epiphany (today), and not before!  OH suggested we could consider Christmas lasting the 40 days until Candlemas, but we decided against!  Everything looks so bare now without the tree and decorations.


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## Robin (Jan 6, 2020)

Just taken mine down today, OH helped, because I can’t stretch up to the high bits at the mo. He helped untangle the lights - thing was though, until he picked them up from where I'd carefully spread them out on the floor ready for winding round the piece of card I keep for the purpose, they weren’t tangled...


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## Andy HB (Jan 6, 2020)

Took ours down today too. I had a little twang of sadness doing it because the tree does look quite pretty in the corner of the livingroom (even if it is one of those plastic jobbies which look very tree-like).

Hey ho, less than 350 days to wait until the next Christmas period.


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## trophywench (Jan 6, 2020)

I hate it - makes the place look so ruddy well BARE.


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## grovesy (Jan 7, 2020)

Well I  had did not put any up in the first place.


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## Ditto (Jan 7, 2020)

grovesy said:


> Well I  had did not put any up in the first place.


  Bah humbug.  

Apparently the Queen at Sandringham leaves hers up till well into February as a mark of respect for her Father or something.


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## grovesy (Jan 7, 2020)

I don't  mind being called a humbug.


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