# Oooh look a new playground for us... so here's a funny!



## Einstein (Mar 5, 2009)

Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night. 

In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?" 

So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife." 

"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear." 

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?" 

She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come".


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## Ikklemo (Mar 6, 2009)

Great news, it's ages since I've the chance to play in a playground.  It's such a shame there is not a real playground for grown ups.


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## Caroline (Mar 6, 2009)

I still go to the playground sometimes. I wait till all the kids are at school and most of the frown ups are at work. I have a great time. Also don't need a kid to watch kids TV or kids films. I often follow my own advice to act my shoe siaze and not my age...


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## Vanessa (Mar 6, 2009)

I seem to remember reading about playgrounds for adults being built somewhere in Europe (may have been the Netherlands) as a means of getting us to take more weight bearing exercise and prevent osteoporosis.  Being outdoors always seems more fun than being in a gym


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## Northerner (Mar 6, 2009)

Vanessa said:


> I seem to remember reading about playgrounds for adults being built somewhere in Europe (may have been the Netherlands) as a means of getting us to take more weight bearing exercise and prevent osteoporosis.  Being outdoors always seems more fun than being in a gym



I used to go to a gym to use the upper body weights machines. I was always amazed at how popular the treadmills were - fit, healthy people running nowhere on glorious, sunny days, when they could be out running in the beautiful parks or countryside! 

Excellent joke, btw, David!


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## Einstein (Mar 6, 2009)

Northerner sir, I too have never understood why they stand on a moving elastic band for an hour.

Once I asked, and was told by a lady she didn't like running in the rain - she got wet, I didn't like to point out she was sweating like a certain farmyard animal...

Just joined a gym closer to home than work, went through he induction bit, what is it about these people - "at session 4 and 5 these are just motivational" my motivation is keeping as healthy as I can and the money I spend on the first of each month to have the pleasure to walk through your door! 

Ho humm best find some more jokes for here...


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## Copepod (Mar 6, 2009)

I can't understand the attraction of treadmills, either, except for the ability to very closely control distance / effort etc. For people aiming to pass certain fitness tests, typically in military or fire services, they can be useful. However, it's generally accepted that you get more fitness benefit from running outdoors, as it's basically harder. I know I prefer to see that's happening to local trees, wildlife, buiding projects than TV screens. Even here in flat East Anglia, I can find slopes - even a bridge over the railway is better than nothing. But orienteering is even more fun - off on Sunday to run on contours for first time since New Year's Day. Lack of orienteering races is sometimes a draw-back, especially as I work some weekends.


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## Einstein (Mar 6, 2009)

I agree, we have a lot of army presence around here, but they are all on the road running, a machine is a repetative simulation of whats around you, all well and good if you enjoy pounding away next to 15 other people pounding away. Knowing no-one will be first past the line or to the bar as you're all going to end at the same time.

Me, I'm a swimmer, running was only required to get up and down a rugby pitch and they are nearly always on the level. Hiking and walking is great - we had a great romp through the woods this morning, nice frost on the ground, bright sun, you don't get that in the gym 

That gets me wondering, would Bruce be allowed in the gym when he's a qualified assistance dog??? think the treadmills would be too slow for him though - and I am sure they wouldn't want him in the pool


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## Freddie99 (Mar 6, 2009)

I can't stand road running, and neither would I be able to abide a treadmill. Going no where for the time that I am running serves no purpose to me. Road running seems to destroy me from the knees downwards and is exceptionally painful. I much prefer to be out and about on the South Downs which are quite literally out of my front door. Much better to run on soft grass as far as my knees go.

Tom H


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## Northerner (Mar 6, 2009)

Tom Hreben said:


> I can't stand road running, and neither would I be able to abide a treadmill. Going no where for the time that I am running serves no purpose to me. Road running seems to destroy me from the knees downwards and is exceptionally painful. I much prefer to be out and about on the South Downs which are quite literally out of my front door. Much better to run on soft grass as far as my knees go.
> 
> Tom H



Indeed, my favourite runs were across the gritstone edges of the Peak District. Road running can take it's toll, it's essential that you have good running shoes. I was always shocked to see film of army guys out running in boots, but maybe that's changed these days. Interestingly, the stress fracture that broke my femur whilst running is most common amongst army personnel.


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## Copepod (Mar 6, 2009)

Even when I was in a medical unit the army in early 1990s, we ran our Basic Fitness Tests in trainers. We generally wore boots for fieldwork - not running, but lots of walking, standing, stretcher carrying etc. Boots were already improving then, learning lessons from Falklands War. Since 1990s, boots have improved even more, with introduction of softer boots, particularly suitable for locations of current activity. So, if it was a "film of army guys out running in boots", then it probably dates back a while. However, Combat Fitness Tests, infantry etc were / are different.


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## mikep1979 (Mar 7, 2009)

nope they still run in boots northerner. used to simulate combat conditions. if you get posted to a operational zone which demands constant ops like afghanistan then you have to be ready to move at a moments notice. also if everyone is wearing the same thing it looks better.

i cant stand running on the treadmill and i love road running. also like to do fell running.


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