# Birthday party trauma



## Lilmssquirrel (Jul 27, 2020)

Hello - me again

So DD (aged 10) is attending a birthday party on Sunday.  It was meant to be the first hurrah as lockdown eased but instead has turned into a nightmare with her diagnosis of T1D just last week.  I've been in contact with the mum who says she's doing pick and mix, popcorn, beef burgers and hot dogs.

How do I get through this for DD so she doesn't feel like it's unfair (it blooming well is!).  What can I send her with that is a special treat for her that is on a par with what the others have?  There are only four others so she'll stick out like a sore thumb and I so want her to go as she's been stuck home all through lockdown on her own with two full time working parents and I don't want her to miss out 

I've emailed our dietician for suggestions and we're seeing the nurse this afternoon but I wondered if you guys had an excellent suggestions based on previous experiences.

TIA x


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## Lisa66 (Jul 27, 2020)

Hi.

Well parties can be a bit tricky whatever age, but I can appreciate your concern so soon after your daughters diagnosis. There will no doubt be some parents along shortly, who have children of a similar age to your daughter that are attending parties, with their hints and tips.

Here starts the list of questions.
Is your daughter worried about going? It would be good if she could go without having to take anything special just for her.
Are the other four that are going all good friends and are they aware of your daughters new condition and is your daughter happy to chat about it? Hopefully the mum you spoke to was understanding and helpful...so if the dietician has any recommendations, that aren’t already in the menu, you could possibly drop something round pre party without your daughter knowing.

It’s all early days for your daughter, so I imagine maybe insulin, carbs and blood sugars may still be a little bit of a work in progress...but then the nurse will advise you regarding this.
There will no doubt be some less carby food available and hopefully your daughter will be able to pick some of the food that’s more suitable for her. 

A party for ten year olds no doubt involves some excitement and exertions so any extra carbs may well be used up anyway. Testing kit to hand for checking.

All this aside, your daughter is a normal ten year old, wanting to do things that ten year olds do and parties are special. So for special occasions one can be cut a little bit of slack...that goes for us adults too...just not to go too mad. Keep an extra eye on sugar levels for a few hours post party...as there may well be a mix of slow and fast acting carbs plus all that energy to account for.

I hope your daughter has a great time...I imagine she’ll have a much more worry free couple of hours than you do. It will no doubt seem like the longest party ever for you...but you’ll get through it and it will be great when you pick her up and hear what a good time she’s had. It’s another part of the learning curve, which you will be able to tick off


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## Sally71 (Jul 27, 2020)

Well beef burgers and Hot Dogs are OK, there's hardly any carb in the meat, and even if they are in buns just count it and inject, it's about 21 for a finger bun and 30 for a burger bap.  Pick and mix - if it's sweets then allow 10g for 3 sweets, probably best to avoid fudge as it's almost pure sugar (good for hypos though!) and popcorn is almost impossible to judge as it hardly weighs anything (unless it comes in a packet with handy carb info on the back)

Are you able to stay at the party and help her?  Or does she not want you to stay?

You are so newly diagnosed though, have you learnt how to carb count yet?  If you are still doing fixed doses then maybe just give her her usual meal dose, allow her a burger and/or Hot Dog and maybe just a few sweets, and then see if she can bring more home to eat later.  There's nothing she can’t have, it's just a case of learning how to deal with it.  Which unfortunately involves a lot of trial and error and you will get it wrong sometimes!  But it's one day, let her enjoy herself with her friends.  Do you know how to do a correction dose of insulin if she goes high later?


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## Thebearcametoo (Jul 27, 2020)

Can you go with her even if it’s just to give her the insulin and then leave. That’s what we did with my daughter. Burgers and hotdogs aren’t a bad choice and popcorn is great. Burger/hotdog buns are around 35 carbs each. A small bowl of popcorn is usually around 10g (unless it’s really sweet coated stuff). She’s likely to be all over the place with excitement anyway so do a best guess and make sure she gets a correction later on. The thing we found least predictable was drinks so I would send her with some sugar free pop or ask the parents to provide some.


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## everydayupsanddowns (Jul 27, 2020)

Ah i really feel for you... but I think @Sally71 offers really good, sensible advice.

It’s a party, so not an every day event. And while you may have to roll with it a little, and make sure you are keeping her safe, slightly high BG from some party food on one day isn’t going to do any long term damage.

In my opinion as long as you (and she) don’t go mad there’s an important lesson to be learned that diabetes has to fit in with life, not life fit in with diabetes. 

Plus all the excitement and activity of the party may burn through a bunch of energy!


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## trophywench (Jul 27, 2020)

Think of it this way - you know your vertical learning curve about diabetes?  This is only a tiddly bit of that so what happens, happens.  It's not an emergency, it won't kill either of you anytime soon.


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## Lilmssquirrel (Jul 28, 2020)

Thanks everyone 

The other kids already know. All mums primed and kids informed. 

She's desperate for me to not go and embarrass her 

We had the lovely diabetes nurse yesterday (they are all lovely, but this one is super practical and seems much better at the not letting diabetes dictate life) 

We've settled on a protein rich breakfast to ensure sugars are down nicely beforehand and a finger prick before I go. She will video call me to do insulin. 

We've just been let loose with carb counting (Bristol don't do it day one, but a week in and we are off) so we should be good to dose a bit more appropriately! 

Does anyone know where the hyper-worried-mum-mode off switch is?  DD would be eternally grateful if you could advise as I'm cramping her style


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## Thebearcametoo (Jul 28, 2020)

You will always have it it’s just a case of not letting her see


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## Sally71 (Jul 28, 2020)

LOL my mother in law says you never find that switch even when your kids are in their 40s!

If you need any help with carb counting I highly recommend Carbs and Cals, it's available as a book or as a phone app on Apple or Android.  Not a free app unfortunately but highly worth the money in my opinion, I don’t know how we would have got through the first few months without it!

Hope your daughter has a fab party


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## Lisa66 (Jul 28, 2020)

Ha ha..I agree with Sally, you’re a mum, you're wired to worry, it comes with the job.


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## trophywench (Jul 28, 2020)

..... and it's an ever expanding worry - first the children, then their children, then their children .......  didn't know what you were letting yourselves in for when you enjoyed that bonk - we haven't as yet got to the bank of great grandad except of course if one of them needed anything the normal bank of mum & dad/grandma & grandad might be called upon, again ......    

As ever, like death being purely a consequence of life, you can't take it with you, can you!


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## SB2015 (Jul 28, 2020)

Hi @Lilmssquirrel as others have said this is just one day, and DD just wants to be with her friends.  There is absolutely no reason for her not join in.  Things like this just take a bit of planning.  It is great that the friends already know about her diabetes, and that the parents having the party are being supportive.  I know that you will be worried, but we’ll done for all that you have already done.  

Great to hear that you have such a good PDSN  who is keen for DD to fit her diabetes round life. 
I hope DD has a load of fun with her friends.  Things may well go a bit awry afterwards, but your plan sounds good and you will be able to settle things afterwards.  It is just one day.

Let us know how it all goes.


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## Pumper_Sue (Jul 28, 2020)

Lilmssquirrel said:


> Does anyone know where the hyper-worried-mum-mode off switch is?  DD would be eternally grateful if you could advise as I'm cramping her style


Lol dream on my mum still worries about me and I'm 60 this year and mother is 84


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## Bronco Billy (Jul 28, 2020)

This is just one part of the new life that seems difficult and confusing now, but will become much easier before you know it  
Parties are a great way of helping your child accept the diagnosis as, apart from the testing and the insulin, they will be doing what their friends are doing and being a ‘normal’ child. I had many strange looks from other parents as I took wrappers and boxes out of the bin to check the carbs. Did I care? Not one bit! 

Test before she leaves you, stay nearby in case you are needed and ask the host mum to remind your daughter to test part of the way through. As has already been suggested, there will be other factors at work that could affect her BGs, so while testing is especially important at the moment while everyone is still learning and adjusting, try to remember that it is very unlikely that anything really bad will happen and a high BG (as long as it’s nor excessive) is not a disaster by any means. Let her enjoy herself and deal with it afterwards is a good principle to live by. You’ll be surprised how often your planning pays dividends. If you are taking food to the party, you have the advantage of knowing what the carbs are before you leave her, so take the advice of the dietician, but don’t be afraid to treat her.


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## Bronco Billy (Aug 4, 2020)

Hi @Lilmssquirrel. How was the party?


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## Lilmssquirrel (Aug 5, 2020)

Hey @Bronco Billy

She did good. We gave her 10u pre party. The other mum had some little popcorn boxes she'd filled with sweets and popcorn so I popped a few sugar free sweets in and then topped it up with flumps and flying saucers as they take up loads of space so in my head we're the least worse option. 

She had that and another box of popcorn then did her own check and insulin by herself ("I'm going to have to man up one day mummy so I might as well do it now") They had a burger in a bun so I'd told her the carbs and she used her bolus advisor. At the post lunch check she was around 10 and that evening went down to 8 which was her lowest ever reading at that point. Am so proud of her and pleased it wasn't too awful for her.

I had 3.5 hours fretting disaster was going to happen but it didn't! Hopefully one day I will learn to chill a bit


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## SB2015 (Aug 5, 2020)

Well done to both of you @Lilmssquirrel .

A big gold star for DD for her approach and for you managing the long there and a half hours.
What an excellent outcome.  I would be delighted if I kept my levels in the range DD has after a party.

You planned, prepared, talked to others involved and succeeded.
An excellent outcome.


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## Bronco Billy (Aug 5, 2020)

@Lilmssquirrel excellent!!! Top marks to your daughter, too. She is clearly starting to accept the diagnosis, and that can be half the battle.


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## trophywench (Aug 5, 2020)

Good job Madam - and very well done daughter too!


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## everydayupsanddowns (Aug 6, 2020)

Love your daughter‘s attitude. She rocks!


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