# One liners



## gail1 (Sep 21, 2010)

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

I intend to live forever - so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.


The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.


Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?


Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.


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## AlisonM (Sep 21, 2010)

My left mind has been overcrowded for years.


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## am64 (Sep 21, 2010)

_If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?_

love them all gail but must admit this one really made me chuckle !!!


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## Caroline (Sep 22, 2010)

Left handed people are in their right minds


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## ThunderBolt (Oct 13, 2010)

Smurfs win it for me...  You ccan't knock the one liner!


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## fez (Oct 13, 2010)

great one liners really made me smile


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