# The Old Salt



## Contused (Oct 25, 2016)




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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 25, 2016)

He could do with some Viagra.  I read in The Newcastle Chronicle recently that a container load was stolen from a distribution centre on the outskirts of the city.  Police are looking for hardened criminals.


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 25, 2016)

Marsbartoastie said:


> He could do with some Viagra.  I read in The Newcastle Chronicle recently that a container load was stolen from a distribution centre on the outskirts of the city.  Police are looking for hardened criminals.




Those very same coppers have had every toilet stolen from Newcastle Police Station. They have issued a statement saying they have nothing to go on


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## Andy HB (Oct 25, 2016)

Or police in Sunderland were informed about a large hole appearing in the town centre. They are looking into it.


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## David H (Oct 26, 2016)

I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"


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## mikeyB (Oct 26, 2016)

Oh no!!!!! David's back! 

There was a sign in the supermarket "caution: Wet Floor". So I did, and got thrown out


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## David H (Oct 27, 2016)

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

David H said:


> I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.






What do you do with 6 dead chemists?
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Barium


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## David H (Oct 27, 2016)

I was going to mention sodium ........... but I thought Na ....


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

As it's nearly Bonfire night, North Wales Police are being extra vigilant when it comes to fireworks. They recently collared a lad caught stealing Bangers from a local supermarket and eating them...
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...they let him off.

@Diabeticliberty


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> As it's nearly Bonfire night, North Wales Police are being extra vigilant when it comes to fireworks. They recently collared a lad caught stealing Bangers from a local supermarket and eating them...
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We had  similar event in St. Helens with a kid nicking batteries and eating them. 
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They charged him


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## mikeyB (Oct 27, 2016)

Did you hear about the mob attacking Sellafield? 

They phoned the police to say there was a Radon...


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## AlisonM (Oct 27, 2016)

Do you realise, if the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys?


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## AlisonM (Oct 28, 2016)




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## David H (Oct 28, 2016)

I refused to believe that my road worker father was stealing from his job?

But when I got home all the signs were there.


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## David H (Oct 28, 2016)

Thieves broke into my house and stole everything except the soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Ba....ds


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## Jonsi (Oct 28, 2016)

@Diabeticliberty and his mate were walking in the countryside near St Helens when they were arrested by the Police.

His mate was charged with having 'improper relations' with an animal... @Diabeticliberty was cautioned for acting the goat


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## AlisonM (Oct 28, 2016)

AlisonM said:


>


Have you figured it out yet?


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## David H (Oct 28, 2016)

My Doctor told me jogging would add years to my life.

He was right - I feel 10 years older already.


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## David H (Oct 28, 2016)

When I get naked in the Bathroom the only thing that get's turned on - is the shower.


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