# substitute swear words.



## Caroline (Aug 13, 2010)

I know this is a subject dear to many peoples hearts, bad language. We are all adults here and have loads of good words.

As a responsible parent (good joke, me responsible) I have tried to teach big boy not to swear and tried to teach him the meaning of these words. I am also trying not to teach little feller to swear too.

At the moment he loves stories about trains, so instead of swearing he uses pharses like busteling buffers oh bumper and cinders and ashes instead of swearing.

These phrases have been quite funny as we have had people in doing various things, and sometimes swearing is inevitable. realising there is a child a bout the men have adopetd one or two phrases like oh bumpers.

Does anyone else have any substitutes for swear words they can share? I do not use dudt or iron and ignore both as long as possible!


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## katie (Aug 13, 2010)

My little brother always come out with the strangest substitute swear words.  I can't think of any now, but when I remember I will post them here


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## aymes (Aug 13, 2010)

In my friend's house their substitute swear word is 'botswana', doesn't matter what word it's replacing, it's always borswana!


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## lucy123 (Aug 13, 2010)

Parachutes and fishfngers in our house.


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## Monica (Aug 13, 2010)

I use "oh sugar" or "shhhhh" (although not often, as I don't tend to swear anyway). 

For some inexplicable reason a lot of people in the London area use "Gordon Bennet".

Unfortunately my children are exposed to the F-word from next door, as he frequently loses his temper and shouts at the top of his voice while banging and chucking things about.


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## lucy123 (Aug 13, 2010)

Monica - maybe you could ask him to shout fishfingers instead?


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## bex123 (Aug 13, 2010)

my 2 boys are huge sponge bob fans so they use words like jumping jellyfish and oh barnickles lol always makes me giggle


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## Monica (Aug 13, 2010)

lucy123 said:


> Monica - maybe you could ask him to shout fishfingers instead?



 I wouldn't dare


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## Northerner (Aug 13, 2010)

Monica said:


> ...For some inexplicable reason a lot of people in the London area use "Gordon Bennet".
> ...



Monica, a lot of English people use this phrase, here's an explanation:

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/gordon-bennett.html


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## Andy HB (Aug 13, 2010)

Oh Belgium, Man, Belgium! 

Andy "Awaiting immediate banning" HB


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## Steff (Aug 13, 2010)

Fiddle sticks and poppy cock in this house.

oh and frankfurter


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## Catwoman76 (Aug 13, 2010)

Caroline said:


> I know this is a subject dear to many peoples hearts, bad language. We are all adults here and have loads of good words.
> 
> As a responsible parent (good joke, me responsible) I have tried to teach big boy not to swear and tried to teach him the meaning of these words. I am also trying not to teach little feller to swear too.
> 
> ...



Hi my old dad (86) used to tell me if he felt like swearing in front of my mum, or myself and my sister, he would say ," Oh fudge and baskets of fruit", he's scottish by the way. Sheena


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## Annimay (Aug 13, 2010)

flip flops & bottle tops!


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## Monica (Aug 13, 2010)

Northerner said:


> Monica, a lot of English people use this phrase, here's an explanation:
> 
> http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/gordon-bennett.html



Thanks, Northerner. I put that website in my favourites. While reading about Gordon Bennet there were more phrases, I want to have a look at. It's very interesting.


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## Northerner (Aug 13, 2010)

My Mum used to say 'Hells bells and buckets of blood!'


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## SilentAssassin1642 (Aug 13, 2010)

for me it's usually "oh bummox" - dunno why, I just love it


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## Jimbo (Aug 13, 2010)

Oh for Fox's Glacier Mints!, Jings and Crivens!, and Oh Ya Bar Steward! are all well used favourites/substitutes.


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## Catwoman76 (Aug 14, 2010)

I used to love watching Father Ted, he used to say feck and fecking(hope this is allowed) Very, very funny. Sheena


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## shirl (Aug 14, 2010)

Tend to use 'Oh Nan Tucket' when am really frustrated!


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## Northerner (Aug 14, 2010)

sheena76 said:


> I used to love watching Father Ted, he used to say feck and fecking(hope this is allowed) Very, very funny. Sheena



Father Ted was absolute genius!  Who can forget 'My Lovely Horse'?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4292206374953839418#


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## Caroline Wilson (Aug 14, 2010)

I like all the substitute swear words everyone has posted. They are certainly amusing.


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## Catwoman76 (Aug 14, 2010)

Northerner said:


> Father Ted was absolute genius!  Who can forget 'My Lovely Horse'?
> 
> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4292206374953839418#



That was a good one, remember when they went on holiday and had to share the caravan with ,mad as a box of frogs priest, Graham Norton.  smiles for all of them, father ted, Mrs Doyle, father jack and the bonkers dougal. Sheena


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## RachelT (Aug 16, 2010)

As hardened Red Dwarf fans my family used "Smeg!" for a long time. Which also means you can use the term "Flamingo up" which is like a cock-up only bigger...
I also discovered not that long ago that most of the swear words i  used as a kid where gotten from watching Porridge ...But Red Dwarf was a brilliant source of insults...where else can you insult someone by describing them as a "Yogurt"?

My brother has a selection of fish related statements but i can't remember them, except i think he uses "Pollocks!" and "Oh Cod!". On when we're feeling really witty we'll substitute "Gordon Ramsay" for "Gordon Bennett".


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## RWJ (Aug 17, 2010)

I'm in Scotland, and one I like is "What a Falkirk Bar Steward"


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## Caroline (Aug 18, 2010)

Even in London we some times say what a bar steward. It was one of father in laws expressions and he considered himself a Cockney and wouldn't have it any other way!


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## getcarter76 (Aug 19, 2010)

At work my language gets a tad.....colourful shall we say lol.

I was watching ladette to lady not so long ago and that really posh lady said to this 'ladette' about swearing...highly unimpressed she said that she should use an alternative like *"whoopy daisy"*. I have tried as hard as i can but often still find myself swearing and then saying "whoopsy daisy". 

Sometimes there just isn't enough whoopsy daisies though that cut it for me at times...but try i might. 

My hubby is supposed to say *"Oh bother"* instead of swearing but again...he will swear and then go 'oh bother'.

Its very hard to stop swearing once you start 

At home though...i am an angel (*puts hands together under chin and batters eyelashes*)


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## williammcd (Aug 19, 2010)

my teenage son can be heard on his xbox 360 saying frickin feckin but no swear words lol 
got a nosy neighbor in one day shouting your sons out there swearing like a trooper ,after i finished laughing i pointed out to him if he took the time to listen not once did he swear ,no matter how much i pointed out frickin and feckin are not swear words ,he just wouldn't listen waste of good fresh air lol


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## AlisonM (Aug 20, 2010)

In our house it's shhh-oops!


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## AlisonM (Aug 20, 2010)

Caroline said:


> Even in London we some times say what a bar steward. It was one of father in laws expressions and he considered himself a Cockney and wouldn't have it any other way!



If I was to take a job in bar it would have had to be in one chain only, because then I would have been able to wear their T-shirt which read "I'm a Firkin Bar Steward".


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