# Chronic anxiety



## Harv3y (Oct 10, 2020)

Hi gang, I’m new to the forum but as a single parent really need some support. My daughter is type 1 since 2010. She’s always suffered with chronic anxiety but recently diagnosed with OCD, chronic depression and anxiety. Tried over the years to get mental health support, currently receiving counselling from Macmillan but only because my sister has had bowel cancer. Her mental health includes her being ruled by her subconscious. For example she can’t eat, read, play a game, anything because she’s convinced it’s dangerous. As you know not eating as a type 1 is complicated. Right now we are going through a pattern of not eating but also fairly regular hours of gagging although very rarely being sick. Sickness is one of her chronic phobias. I’m trying to think is she bringing on these gagging episodes because of her chronic anxiety. She’s terrified of me testing ketones. Her quick acting insulin intake has dropped considerably because of not eating. Could this be a factor? Just feeling very isolated and could do with any help or hear from anyone who has experienced similar. Many thanks for reading my waffle xxx


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## Docb (Oct 10, 2020)

A couple of questions.  How old is your daughter and does she live with you and do you manage her insulin regime?


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## Kaylz (Oct 10, 2020)

As I replied to your previous thread, I am no parent but I do myself suffer from OCD and anxiety, mines being in the form of hand washing so extremely difficult at the moment when I'm convinced that shopping etc is contaminated and others in the household don't see it as that and touch everything after touching the loaf of bread in the cupboard or whatever, this makes me feel very sick and uncomfortable

Does she have anything that makes her feel safe? more relaxed? I settle a bit when I've washed my hands to the extreme for most but it is the only thing that makes me feel a little more comfortable? How old is your daughter? I'm going to tag @Sally71 again as she mentioned on my thread asking about hand sanitiser that her daughter is currently in the process of possibly being diagnosed with OCD
xx


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## Inka (Oct 10, 2020)

Hi @Harv3y That sounds incredibly hard for you and for your daughter too. Has her GP not offered anything eg medication (if appropriate and if she’s old enough, of course). Your statement below struck me:

*For example she can’t eat, read, play a game, anything because she’s convinced it’s dangerous*

Dangerous in what way? Do you think her Type 1 is exacerbating everything? I remember getting pretty stressed about doing normal things eg watching TV, after I was diagnosed. Diabetes cast a massive shadow over everything and seemed to take up all of my mind.

Another question is do you think she has or is developing disordered eating? That is more common in people with diabetes. I’d hope it’s something her team could help her with.

Finally, blood sugar can affect feelings. When I’m low, I often feel down emotionally. Being high can make me feel irritable and jittery. Obviously that’s not your daughter’s main issue, but good control can help you feel more stable emotionally.

Is there any aspect of Type 1 she’s finding particularly hard? Injecting? Testing? Feeling the odd one out? If so, there might be ways to help that a little.

MIND is very good for MH issues. There’s also an organisation for young people whose name has slipped my mind at the moment (i’ll link to it if I remember). They might be able to point you in the right direction for support.

There’s also Young Minds Both offer support to parents and carers.


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## Thebearcametoo (Oct 10, 2020)

Hi and welcome, I have one kid (10) with type 1 and one (13) with anxiety (and I had an eating disorder etc when I was younger) so I know a little of what you’re going though. How old is she? If she’s under 17/18 (I’m presuming she’s not an adult child which will have different routes to support) then CAMHS have a relatively short waiting list (compared to usual) since lockdown and I would say she needs an urgent referral. I would also get her diabetes team involved. There should be a psychologist attached to the team.

Diabetes aside it’s not uncommon for ‘good’ girls to get eating disorders and other control disorders as they hit teens and especially exams. If she’s been previously a capable and intelligent student then that makes it more likely (statistically) that she will develop control disorders. Add into that a family member with a serious illness and a chronic illness where there is a level of control already around food and it’s very common for there to be issues. Her team will be well versed in this and should have ways to help support her and you (you matter in this too).

CAMHS would likely look to do staged management with her of helping find goals and then deciding what are stages to achieve that goal. It’s not quick but it is effective. They would likely give her some grounding exercises too. I would encourage you to reach out to them even if you’ve not had good experiences with them in the past. If she’s not eating then that comes under self harm and makes her an urgent case which would move you up the list.

Chat to your GP about how you’re coping. There can be a lot of stress and guilt of being close to someone who you can see is in a lot of pain and you need to lean on any support you can get. She is likely to listen to people who aren’t you more easily than take anything you say personally. Please don’t take this personally.


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## Sally71 (Oct 10, 2020)

Hi there, sorry to hear how things are for you, I don’t think I can help much though, we are only just beginning with mental health problems and are waiting for a referral to CAMHS, only saw the doctor last week so not expecting anything to happen just yet and am trying to muddle through as best we can in the meantime!  I think Thebearcametoo has given some good advice, I might try some of that myself, hadn’t thought of the counsellor on the diabetes team, she might be able to help until we get the CAMHS referral.  We have got the school SENCO involved now and they are supporting her at school and have a quiet room she can go to if she needs to escape and calm down for a bit.

Sorry I can’t help but hope you can find someone who can


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## Ditto (Oct 11, 2020)

That is horrible for you, I hope you can get help. It's a nightmare living with any kind of mental illness.


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## Harv3y (Oct 11, 2020)

Thank you all so much for replying. She is 19 but not your typical 19 year old. Part of the mental health issue is that she has a voice always telling her not to do things/eat things. So she fears going against it. She is on citalopram from the GP but has just gone on over to adult services regarding her diabetes. I think we have felt like we’ve been dropped as the support we had had just disappeared. Noise helps her calm so for instance a fan on or tv low volume. I’ve signed us up to a virtual mindfulness course via Macmillan, I will try anything. Wondering also if her 10 year anniversary of diagnosis coming up in November is playing a part? I really appreciate all your messsges xxx


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## grovesy (Oct 11, 2020)

Think many without any other problems find that moving from Pediatric Team to Adult a big disappointment.


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## Docb (Oct 11, 2020)

Hi @Harv3y.  Can I return to the carer thing?  I do not know if you are formally recognised as your daughter's carer but it sounds as if you ought to be.  By opening up that avenue you will be able to get support from whatever carer services your local authority has in place.  It is very much a post code lottery in terms of the quality of the service - they vary from poor to excellent - but they should have a decent understanding of what support services are available in your area.

If you want to explore that option, then google "carer services" and the name of your county council.  Chances are you will get a "provider" turn up.  I think all CC's have farmed out statutory carer services to third parties, usually registered charities. Give whoever covers your area a ring and see how you get on.  

As I say, I know that quality of service varies considerably but in this area it is very good.  I have an insight because I am a carer and volunteer with the charity who provides services in this area.


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## everydayupsanddowns (Oct 11, 2020)

Sorry to hear about the struggles you and your daughter are facing @Harv3y 

I’m glad you have reached out here. It can be very helpful to have others alongside to share a difficult journey.

Good that you are connected to other support networkslike Macmillan, and CBT Mindfulness has very good clinical data to demonstrate its effectiveness.

It may also be worth reaching out to DWED (diabetics with eating disorders) a small UK based charity who work with those affected by disordered eating and diabetes.









						DWED: Diabetics with Eating Disorders
					






					dwed.org.uk
				




Keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on


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## Thebearcametoo (Oct 11, 2020)

That move to adult services can be a huge void. Is she still in education of any sort?

Your local MIND may be a good place to get support - ours isn’t great about making it clear what support options there are so contacting them directly rather than relying on info on the website is better. There are also specific eating disorder charities that may be able to help.

It’s worth her talking to the GP about how she’s getting on with the citalopram. There are meds like propanalol which can help anxiety as well which may be suitable to use alongside or her dose may need tweaking or a different drug tried - it’s often a bit of trial and error to begin with and there needs to be an ongoing conversation with the GP otherwise they presume that you’re doing ok.

The 10 year anniversary may well be playing a part. I think even if it’s not on the surface these anniversaries are felt in our bodies.

Mindfulness for you is great. It can be good for people with anxiety but it can also make things worse so I would offer it to her but not as something she does when she’s struggling but something to do when she’s feeling ok.

Grounding exercise can be helpful in the moment - 5, 4, 3, 2,1 is the one we use most often here but different ones work for different people. They need practice and guidance to begin with rather than being self directed but if she gets into the habit of doing it then she will be able to do it herself. If you google grounding techniques you’ll see lots of suggestions.

Anxiety is our fight or flight mechanism and sometimes the best way to deal with it is to move. There are people who say they run or walk at the first sign of their anxiety as if a bear is coming after them. The physical (especially if it can be outside as a change of scenery is also beneficial) activity helps rebalance hormones and gives the body a way of processing the stages of fear but it’s also distracting so works in two ways. If she’s amenable then going out every day (or as often as she can) for a walk (she can stick music, an audiobook or a podcast on while she does it) will help address the anxiety before it peaks and bursts out of the seams. It doesn’t have to be full on exercise. It can be very gentle.

Does she respond well to pets and external stimuli? If she does but you don’t have your own pets then dog walking or helping out at a local pet rescue may help. 

What media is she consuming? Intrusive thoughts can be cemented by use of forums or social media where she’s surrounded by ideas from similar sufferers - online can be a huge support but if you’re already struggling with coping it can be difficult to filter the voices and it can be hard to put it all into context. 

It’s worth you talking to the GP is she goes to appointments alone. A voice telling her what to do is not just depression or anxiety.

It’s great that she’s talked to you about it. I know you feel out of your depth and worried for her but that line of communication is really positive. Banging in doors to get her help will help your stress cycles too by giving you something to do but do deal with your feelings and not just stay in that phase of worrying.


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## Inka (Oct 11, 2020)

*A voice telling her what to do is not just depression or anxiety.*

I agree with @Thebearcametoo It might be she needs additional meds to the Citalopram like an antipsychotic. Even if she doesn’t need that, it would be sensible to rule it out. Push to get the help she needs. It’s horrible to have to push, but it seems to be necessary very often, even when there are clearly problems. Anxiety and depression aren’t uncommon sadly. But sometimes additional problems are missed.

It’s hard as she’s an adult, but there’s nothing to stop you speaking to her GP and giving them information about how much she’s struggling and particularly about the voice that’s telling her not to do things.

Now you’ve given a little more detail, this is something I’d be pursuing with the GP and MIND and looking for specialist psych support if it was my child.

Sending you my best wishes.


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