# My Final Posting



## ukjohn (Feb 2, 2011)

To the many friends on here that I have made over the past 2 years and 3 months, I would like to say thank you for all your help, kind words and friendship. I shall carry on reading threads to follow your progress, but will not be making any replies. anyone wishing to keep in touch by PMs I will be more than happy to respond.
My reason for this is that I an not happy with petty actions taken by a moderator by deleting a sentence from one of my recent postings for what in his words "He felt it could be contstrued as a bit personal" This message had been on the board for 3 hours before he made that decission, and to the best of my knowledge, no complaint made.But to add insult to injury, I asked him why he had not deleted the other persons comment that I had responded to, which I found insulting, his answer to that was "I didn't even notice that"
So much for moderating. I have managed and moderated many chatrooms and MSN sites over the past 15 years, the idea is to be impartial and not to create a problem where there is'nt one.

Take care everyone, I wish you all good health and every success in the battle with your diabetes.

John.


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## bev (Feb 2, 2011)

ukjohn said:


> To the many friends on here that I have made over the past 2 years and 3 months, I would like to say thank you for all your help, kind words and friendship. I shall carry on reading threads to follow your progress, but will not be making any replies. anyone wishing to keep in touch by PMs I will be more than happy to respond.
> My reason for this is that I an not happy with petty actions taken by a moderator by deleting a sentence from one of my recent postings for what in his words "He felt it could be contstrued as a bit personal" This message had been on the board for 3 hours before he made that decission, and to the best of my knowledge, no complaint made.But to add insult to injury, I asked him why he had not deleted the other persons comment that I had responded to, which I found insulting, his answer to that was "I didn't even notice that"
> So much for moderating. I have managed and moderated many chatrooms and MSN sites over the past 15 years, the idea is to be impartial and not to create a problem where there is'nt one.
> 
> ...



Hi John,
Please do reconsider, the forum will be a less happy place without you here. I didnt see what thread you are referring to - but it doesnt sound a fair way to deal with things does it. I have also had an issue myself and do feel that there are some differences in the way people moderate. I wouldnt like the job myself as it must be hard to get the balance right, but sometimes people can only see things in black or white and forget there may be something inbetween. 

I would be happy to stay in touch with you as I think you are a lovely kind-hearted person with exactly the right nature for a forum like this. But do reconsider this decision as there have been quite a few members who have left of late and this place is worse for their absence.Bev


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## bev (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi John,
Ha ha - it seems that we are in the same boat - one rule for one and all that. It seems that loyalty to this forum doesnt count for much and following rules doesnt either - the idea that a mere 'member' should have an opinion clearly isnt acceptable and only a Moderators view is accepted.

John, I think we need to remember that we are not important, and others, who do break the rules seem to be encouraged. The fact that we have both been members for a long long time is not appreciated - even though we have both helped and advised many people.

Perhaps we should climb back into a hole and keep our mouths shut - clearly having an opinion on here isnt allowed.

It is little wonder that people are leaving this forum - there have been lots lately - perhaps it isnt what it used to be on here.


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## macast (Feb 2, 2011)

John please don't go.  sometimes moderators get it wrong.... they are only human.  I, too, have been a moderator on several forums and it is a difficult job.  don't let one incident deprive you (and us) of a great relationship on this forum.  I would be very sad to see you go


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## Hazel (Feb 2, 2011)

Ah John, whilst I respect your decision - I agree with Bev and I hope you do reconsider.

I hope to see you on the Forum in the Future.

Take care


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## AlisonM (Feb 2, 2011)

Moderating a forum is always a tricky business and sometimes we miss things. We're only human after all and can only do our best. In general we only step in when we feel things may be getting too heated and we need to retore the peace, we would rather not have to act at all, but let's face it that's not going to be possible is it? 

As for the comment about lots of people leaving, there has been only one in the past few months and she's back with us again.

John, if you if leave, you will be much missed. I really hope you'll reconsider.


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## bev (Feb 2, 2011)

AlisonM said:


> Moderating a forum is always a tricky business and sometimes we miss things. We're only human after all and can only do our best. In general we only step in when we feel things may be getting too heated and we need to retore the peace, we would rather not have to act at all, but let's face it that's not going to be possible is it?
> 
> As for the comment about lots of people leaving, there has been only one in the past few months and she's back with us again.
> 
> John, if you if leave, you will be much missed. I really hope you'll reconsider.



Hi Alison,
Some people leave the forum without fuss - they just stop posting - and I know that there are a lot of my old friends on here who have 'left' because of the way some things have been handled - I know this because they keep in touch with me.


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## Dizzydi (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi John,
Sorry to see you stepping back, you will be missed. Please keep in touch.
Di x


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## Flutterby (Feb 2, 2011)

I just find this whole thing really distressing, people falling out and leaving and one thing and another.  I feel safe on this site although I haven't posted much lately as I'm having a rough time with depression and anxiety.  I have always found John's posts helpful, in fact there has only been one occasion when I've found any post on here to be "out of order" and that was (in reply to my statin thread) from someone who hardly ever posts, some months ago, and so I just ignored them!  Life is too short and too hard for any more upset.  Sorry to see you go John, wish you wouldn't.  It's a shame, it really is.xx


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## margie (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi John - I think I know the thread you are referring to - I tried to check before commenting but both posts in question seem to have gone now - or I was looking in the wrong place.

It can be hard to be impartial, and I can tell from some responses on threads that quite often many posters do not read all the posts before posting.

I hope you change your mind - but if you don't I hope you stay in touch with Gail - as you and she seem to have made a nice friendship.


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## Robster65 (Feb 2, 2011)

As said, it is a great shame when one disagreement can cause a long-term valued poster to pack up and leave. If it was something you feel needs to be said, can you not re-word it in a way that's acceptable to the mods ?

If it's a matter of principle, then there's been many lives needlessly lost throughout history for that, and it rarely seems so important in the morning.

Mods have to make decisions with very little guidance and often with nothing but their own gut feeling. They don't make or break a forum. The posters do. One deleted line doesn't change your value to the other members. For their sakes, continue posting and accept that the mods do what they do. They rarely get thanked for all the decisions that keep the forum running, so don't do this because of one event.

Rob


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## alisonz (Feb 2, 2011)

John you are so obviously going to be sorely missed. Try and keep in toch hun xxx


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## chrismbee (Feb 2, 2011)

John, echoing the thoughts of others, I believe that the forum will miss you and I urge you to reconsider.

Please bear in mind that the written word can be read in ways that  are at odds with the author's original intention.  It is the role of a  moderator to consider the possible impact on the wider audience and take  whatever action they feel appropriate.  If we feel strongly about such a  decision, we should appeal to the moderators and/or administrator by PM.

We  should all avoid any direct, personal retorts on this forum - the PM  system is a far better vehicle for this.  As suggested by AlisonM in another  thread, there is little to be gained by airing grievances in a public  domain; the "Report" button allows us to express concern and prompt the  matter to be looked into without emotion or upset to others.

Let's try and all keep this forum a pleasant place to be


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## Catwoman76 (Feb 2, 2011)

ukjohn said:


> To the many friends on here that I have made over the past 2 years and 3 months, I would like to say thank you for all your help, kind words and friendship. I shall carry on reading threads to follow your progress, but will not be making any replies. anyone wishing to keep in touch by PMs I will be more than happy to respond.
> My reason for this is that I an not happy with petty actions taken by a moderator by deleting a sentence from one of my recent postings for what in his words "He felt it could be contstrued as a bit personal" This message had been on the board for 3 hours before he made that decission, and to the best of my knowledge, no complaint made.But to add insult to injury, I asked him why he had not deleted the other persons comment that I had responded to, which I found insulting, his answer to that was "I didn't even notice that"
> So much for moderating. I have managed and moderated many chatrooms and MSN sites over the past 15 years, the idea is to be impartial and not to create a problem where there is'nt one.
> 
> ...



John I saw both comments, and I was very surprised with the deletion.  Please reconsider, remember gail.  She is having respite at the moment and she will be so sorry to see you go.  I know people have had 'differences of opinions' in the past on here , and I remember one very well, but please don't go.  You have many friends on here and you are respected John.  Sheena x


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## Catwoman76 (Feb 2, 2011)

AlisonM said:


> Moderating a forum is always a tricky business and sometimes we miss things. We're only human after all and can only do our best. In general we only step in when we feel things may be getting too heated and we need to retore the peace, we would rather not have to act at all, but let's face it that's not going to be possible is it?
> 
> As for the comment about lots of people leaving, there has been only one in the past few months and she's back with us again.
> 
> John, if you if leave, you will be much missed. I really hope you'll reconsider.



Hi Alison As far as I know Bex hasn't returned to the forum, only to give facebook details. So it wasn't only one.  best wishes Sheena


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## chrismbee (Feb 2, 2011)

Please use PM to explain yourselves to each other .....


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## bev (Feb 2, 2011)

Could a moderator please close this thread.


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## novorapidboi26 (Feb 2, 2011)

Finding it hard to keep up with all this...........

Many other non related forums I am apart of basically worship the staff coz if you p*iss them off, cheerio...............not the same in this case......however any issues developing between a member and staff, as others have mentioned, should be kept out of the public gaze.........and definetly no farewell speeches as it then turns into something else............its an online forum.....nothing more ,nothing less........

No one should go, expecially not you John, as your a seriously funny guy.....


I vote we close this thread and go forth friends again...........


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## sugarfreerach (Feb 2, 2011)

At the risk of being called a non diabetic....shall we check our blood sugars....? Tried to bring some humour in... Sorry about all the mess John, i hope you reconsider xx


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## Catwoman76 (Feb 2, 2011)

bev said:


> Could a moderator please close this thread.



Why bev ? Sheena


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## margie (Feb 2, 2011)

I will add my two penneth. Rather than closing the thread - I would suggest a moderator remove the posts that are generating a closure request. This thread really should be for people wanting to wish John well, and I think it would be unfair on him to have it closed.


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## novorapidboi26 (Feb 2, 2011)

I think that wishing John well is absolutely right, but I strongly believe he didnt have to advertise to the whole forum about his departure, as I believe no one should go, ever, it makes me cringe thinking that people get upset over the silliest things from people they have never seen........

And also, its has clearly evolved to more than just a farewell............

edit: removing posts is not a bad option, but it wont stop others from voicing there opinoins colncluding for the sanity of us all, maybe it should be closed...


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## Robster65 (Feb 2, 2011)

Agreed NRBoi. Private spats are out of place on this thread. 

Rob


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## SweetGuy (Feb 2, 2011)

AlisonM said:


> Moderating a forum is always a tricky business and sometimes we miss things. We're only human after all and can only do our best. In general we only step in when we feel things may be getting too heated and we need to retore the peace, we would rather not have to act at all, but let's face it that's not going to be possible is it?
> 
> As for the comment about lots of people leaving, there has been only one in the past few months and she's back with us again.
> 
> John, if you if leave, you will be much missed. I really hope you'll reconsider.



It should be to prevent the forum getting bogged down in personal abuse and flaming, spamming, anything illegal and obvious trolling. In these cases it the thread/post should be removed altogether and an explanation given why this has been done.  

It should not be for moderators to start messing about editing people's posts when they just feel like it.


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## macast (Feb 2, 2011)

oh well.... and I thought this forum was different  

c'mon guys/girls let's get back to wishing John well.... whatever has been said.

I find it really sad when people get all upset on forums...... you know that the written word can be 'manipulated' (sometimes quite unintentionally)  and one person 'thinks' someone else slighted them

don't let this thread (or indeed the forum) become a school playground

can I make it very clear that I am not getting at anyone in particular..... I'm a newbie here who thought she had found a lovely home


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## Catwoman76 (Feb 2, 2011)

macast said:


> oh well.... and I thought this forum was different
> 
> c'mon guys/girls let's get back to wishing John well.... whatever has been said.
> 
> ...



Hi macast Unfortunatley nasty things have been said on the forum.  Yes it's people's opinions, we can't all think the same, that would make us robots, but sometimes things need to be said via a pm, and not a tongue lashing for all to see.  It's such a shame   best wishes Sheena


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## AlisonM (Feb 2, 2011)

We (meaning the mods) are not going to close this thread as well. Nor are we going to modify/delete posts .. this time because we feel it would simply fan the flames even more. There is nothing to be gained from continuing to argue like this and much to be lost, so we are simply going to appeal to you all to take a step back, a deep breath and move on.


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## Steff (Feb 2, 2011)

John im sorry im lsate to this im saddended to hear you will not be posting agsin, i will PM x


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## Sheilagh1958 (Feb 2, 2011)

John your help and advice will be missed. Please reconsider. X


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## Adrienne (Feb 2, 2011)

I have pm'd John my thoughts as I think this is very sad.   I think this has just got too damned personal and someone's comments have just shocked me to the core, I didn't know that one person could be so vindictive.  I have made a complaint and I believe that Bev is owed an apology.  Whether people agree with each other or not is just human nature but getting so nasty is just unreasonable.   I will not comment about this again and this is not meant to start yet another debate.


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## Steff (Feb 2, 2011)

Really its best left alone now, the more people that stoke the fire the longer this will carry on, this forum is all about support not silly squabbles.... someone said this is all very upsetting and it is,, we get away from our stressful lives to come on here and chill with close mates,but when something like this happens it puts people off using the forum and we dont want that


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## macast (Feb 2, 2011)

well said Steffie ...... to all newbies viewing this post.......... we are all friendly .. honest


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## Sheilagh1958 (Feb 2, 2011)

Well said Steff. We all have enough stress in our lifes without cyber quarrels.


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## casey (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi John, apologies for comming in so late. I just wanted to say that we will all miss you  very much. You are such a kind, caring person the forum will not be the same without you. Please reconsider.


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## bev (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi John,
If you do decide to leave - let me know your email to keep in touch. Also, could you let us know how Gail is if you hear from her as you are good friends. Again, please do reconsider this as you are far to nice a person to leave this forum and it would be very sad if you did leave.Bev


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## shirl (Feb 2, 2011)

Please reconsider your decision John, 

take care of yourself whatever you decide,

Shirl x


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## SweetGuy (Feb 2, 2011)

AlisonM said:


> We (meaning the mods) are not going to close this thread as well. Nor are we going to modify/delete posts .. this time because we feel it would simply fan the flames even more. There is nothing to be gained from continuing to argue like this and much to be lost, so we are simply going to appeal to you all to take a step back, a deep breath and move on.



Have posts been removed from this thread or am I hallucinating?


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## margie (Feb 2, 2011)

SweetGuy said:


> Have posts been removed from this thread or am I hallucinating?



You are hallucinating ..... no not really some have vanished - but its possible that the author of the posts decided to remove them.


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## teapot8910 (Feb 2, 2011)

Sorry to hear this John, wishing you all the very best for the future. You will be sorely missed x


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## KateR (Feb 2, 2011)

macast said:


> oh well.... and I thought this forum was different
> 
> ..... I'm a newbie here who thought she had found a lovely home



Same here and although I have only been here a short time I have come to value John's comments and help and will miss him very much. Please reconsider John.


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## am64 (Feb 2, 2011)

nooo john how can we celebrate our birthdays if there is only one here ...i havent a clue as to whats going on ..but you will be missed our longest stand member pm me if you wish ..or get rosie to do it !!


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## rossi_mac (Feb 3, 2011)

Take care John

Rossi


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## Monica (Feb 3, 2011)

Sad to see you go John


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