# Working Parents Experiences



## allanfaye (Feb 22, 2012)

Hi, for those of us who work and have to manage the care of a child with diabetes, how understanding do people find their employer? Particularly for parents such as myself who are the primary carer/single parent. The impact of a childs' diabetes extends beyond the child itself. 

I have had lots of problems with my employer even with a flexible working request in place. This has included threats of disciplinary action if I let the care of my daughter impact my work, performance downgrade, constantly refused pay increases with my last one being in 2006, being offered junior roles instead on roles appropriate for my level of experience and qualifications even when such roles exist and in a location that I could do, insults from a colleague. I even allowed them to contact the medical team at the hospital that care for my daughter, the nurses gave their time to reply to my employer's letters but having got the information, my employer did nothing with it. The list goes on. I have even been told that when I apply for internal positions, I should not make reference to my daughter's diabetes as my application could get ignored. This is in stark contrast to the situation before I became a single parent when I had no problems. However, even with the Equality Act 2010 the level of protection is very limited. An employer can treat you in a way that would be quite illegal if you were the person that suffered from the disability. 

The current economic climate is very tough and their is increasing Government pressure for people out of work to find employment. Yet finding employment is tough enough with child care responsibilities but is even more so with diabetes thrown into the mix.   

Have other people had particular problems, or even help?


----------



## Hanmillmum (Feb 22, 2012)

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time at work, really sucks !

My line manager has little understanding of what we deal with on a day to day basis and I can sense her frustration if I take time off. However, I am lucky being where I want to be in my career, I don't feel any pressure to perform for any rise etc and my manager is bound by a policy on carers for disabled dependents so would not have a leg to stand on if such became an issue. We are allowed 4 days carers leave a year paid , but that is if it is an emergency situation, anything else is annual leave or unpaid. 4 days just doesn't stretch so far so using annual leave where needed. I manage my own caseload so whatever is missed is piled up when I return. Both myself and hubby have reduced our hours since our daughters diagnosis as we struggle with childcare arrangements. I work 22 hrs, he works 32. I had to fight to get my hours reduced. 
There is many a time when it feels it would be much easier just to pack it in.

It is wrong you are being penalised and disciplined , is there anything you can raise with the union ?

Hope things get a little easier for you


----------



## fencesitter (Feb 22, 2012)

This is such an unfair situation. I agree that you should go to a union for advice, it's appalling that you should be under this kind of pressure. I am self employed and I thank my lucky stars every day for that. In addition to T1, my son has another long term health condition (lymphoedema) which he's had since birth, and I quickly realised that working full time and dealing with all his health care needs would be very hard. Fortunately I can work from home but I know not everyone's circumstances allow for that. Not being any help here but I wanted to express my sympathy and anger at the injustice that parents of children with health issues face at work. It's surely the next employment issue that needs tackling - so much has been achieved for other groups that I really hope something can be done.


----------



## Ruth Goode (Mar 11, 2012)

Im afraid I had to give up my 2 jobs to look after Carly full time (being a single mum), I knew things like that would happens.  When Carly is bit more older I hope to return to work again and I will make sure these employers will understand. Good luck and stick to your gun ;-)


----------

