# Another idiotic sign



## robert@fm (Dec 13, 2016)

I have ranted on here before about how persistent abuse of language means that "hi-fi" now only means "this device makes a sound", and that "HD" is going the same way due to similar abuse. (I have actually seen projectors advertised as "HD", which if true would mean 1920x1080, which in fact aren't even XGA (1024x768).  How are the advertisers allowed to get away with flouting the law like that?)

I went out yesterday, and on my return passed a beauty parlour which is advertising "HD" eyebrow threading!  Why don't they instead call it "organic" or "gluten-free" or "pataphysical" or some other buzzword of the day? That would make just as much sense (that is, none)...


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## Northerner (Dec 13, 2016)

My favourites are the various made-up scientific-sounding names they use for shampoos and beauty products


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## Robin (Dec 13, 2016)

Northerner said:


> My favourites are the various made-up scientific-sounding names they use for shampoos and beauty products


'Scientifically formulated' is one of my favourites. 'Mixed together in a factory by an operative who probably wasn't listening during most GCSE science lessons'


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## Amigo (Dec 13, 2016)

It's been found that 4 out of 5 cosmetic claims cannot be substantiated and use pseudo science to baffle the consumer in desperate need of a wrinkle, soft skin or eye bag solution. In fact, experts point out that if many of these so-called ‘cosmeceuticals’ actually did what they claimed, they would be having such an impact on the metabolism that they should be labelled as medicines!  

Still a multi million pound industry however!


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## grovesy (Dec 13, 2016)

Amigo said:


> It's been found that 4 out of 5 cosmetic claims cannot be substantiated and use pseudo science to baffle the consumer in desperate need of a wrinkle, soft skin or eye bag solution. In fact, experts point out that if many of these so-called ‘cosmeceuticals’ actually did what they claimed, they would be having such an impact on the metabolism that they should be labelled as medicines!
> 
> Still a multi million pound industry however!


I was talking to my friend a few weeks ago she used to be a Chemist making up formulations for cosmetics and skincare, and she only ever buys Aldi own brands shampoo and shower products as they all contain mainly the same basic ingredients. 
Also I was watching Super Shoppers last week and they highlighted that alot of the packaging that has a small TM next to ingredients or products are not true registered trademarks.


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## Jonsi (Dec 13, 2016)

Robin said:


> 'Scientifically formulated' is one of my favourites. 'Mixed together in a factory by an operative who probably wasn't listening during most GCSE science lessons'


To be fair to factory Operatives ...the mixing of such stuff these days is quite strictly controlled usually by computer operated recipe mixers which will have been programmed by highly qualified Chemists. Ingredients will have been checked before and during the manufacturing process. True there'll be someone lifting the boxes off the conveyor etc. who might not know one end of a test tube from a Petrie dish but quality control (because of due diligence and liability) will be paramount in making sure that the formula will be exactly as specified to prevent somebody burning their scalp or skin or worse by the application of a shampoo or face cream.

That said, what @grovesy said about a friend buying 'own brand' is quite correct.

Paracetamol is Paracetamol regardless of which brand you buy, the Law says it must be, so buy the ones for 18p a box instead of the £1.56 a box - it's the same stuff. Often the case with lots of other over the counter medicines. Take Canestan Cream...ask your Pharmacist for *Clotrimazole *instead of Canestan. Clotrimazole costs £2.19 a tube compared to Canestan for £5.99. Exactly the same stuff (most likely made in the same place at the same time) but so much cheaper.


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## robert@fm (Dec 13, 2016)

On the basis of something I read on this forum, I used to buy Imodium capsules for the bad stomach upsets I sometimes suffer — until I discovered that generic loperamide is exactly the same stuff, only without the fancy name and packaging, at one-third of the price.


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## grovesy (Dec 13, 2016)

robert@fm said:


> On the basis of something I read on this forum, I used to buy Imodium capsules for the bad stomach upsets I sometimes suffer — until I discovered that generic loperamide is exactly the same stuff, only without the fancy name and packaging, at one-third of the price.


Martin Lewis also brought this up on one of his shows recently and said if you look on the packet they even have the same licence number.


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## ChrisSamsDad (Dec 13, 2016)

My favourite new advertising phrases is 'inspired by.....', followed by, I seem to remember 'science; glaciers;, spring' etc. It's a blatant attempt to form that association in your mind, and I'm guessing it probably works to some extent. 

The other one I love is in TK Maxx, they have signs that say 'Always up to 60% off' - which translated means 'never more than 60% off'.


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## Caroline (Dec 13, 2016)

My most recent favourite is no fly posters- does it mean you can't put up posters about flies? One that amuses is me is Restricted Street, no intermittent ice cream vendors


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## robert@fm (Dec 13, 2016)

ChrisSamsDad said:


> The other one I love is in TK Maxx, they have signs that say 'Always up to 60% off' - which translated means 'never more than 60% off'.


London Buses used to threaten that fare-dodging was punishable by a fine of "up to £200 or more" — that is to say, by a fine of any amount from 1p to infinity.


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## Lilian (Dec 13, 2016)

If the products have the same PL (product licence) number then they are the same thing.


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## Lilian (Dec 13, 2016)

Caroline said:


> My most recent favourite is no fly posters- does it mean you can't put up posters about flies? One that amuses is me is Restricted Street, no intermittent ice cream vendors


Occasional tables.


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## mikeyB (Dec 13, 2016)

I like those signs in yellow on supermarket floors saying "Wet floor". Do I have to? I always struggle in public


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## Caroline (Dec 13, 2016)

mikeyB said:


> I like those signs in yellow on supermarket floors saying "Wet floor". Do I have to? I always struggle in public



or wet paint


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## ChrisSamsDad (Dec 13, 2016)

I hate 'this door is alarmed' - You'd think someone would calm it down and tell it there's nothing to worry about.


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## Northerner (Dec 13, 2016)

My favourite used to be the IBM manuals which would have some pages with the message 'This page intentionally left blank' which, of course, rendered it no longer blank!


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## Robin (Dec 13, 2016)

Northerner said:


> My favourite used to be the IBM manuals which would have some pages with the message 'This page intentionally left blank' which, of course, rendered it no longer blank!


Aargh! You used to get those on exam papers. Unhappy memories!


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## Jonsi (Dec 13, 2016)

A company I once worked for when I was but a long-haired skinny youth had the in-house slogan "_Nothing is more important than making the Customer #1_". Everyone was expected to submit ideas to make things better for the customer. I didn't and was hauled before the boss to explain myself. I repeated the slogan to him and said I was doing Nothing because it was more important. He told me not to be such a smart arse and sent me back to my desk.


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## mikeyB (Dec 13, 2016)

Believe it or not, that stuff about blank pages was done to stop people complaining that the pages hadn't been printed so they were disadvantaged, or sold short. It's not because of of stupidity of the people who put that on blank pages, but the stupidity of people who thought they were missing something.


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## Northerner (Dec 13, 2016)

mikeyB said:


> Believe it or not, that stuff about blank pages was done to stop people complaining that the pages hadn't been printed so they were disadvantaged, or sold short. It's not because of of stupidity of the people who put that on blank pages, but the stupidity of people who thought they were missing something.


They should have chosen something like 'This page intentionally only contains this sentence.'


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## Amigo (Dec 13, 2016)

Little more idiotic than the food products like bags of nuts that say 'this product may contain nuts' or tins of tuna that say, 'may contain fish!' The serving suggestion pictures of the contents of the product on a plate are for those who need to study for a urine test too!


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## mikeyB (Dec 13, 2016)

My Spar Jelly Babies even say may contain nuts, but even with a magnifying glass, I can't see any, I think mine are all girls.


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## grovesy (Dec 13, 2016)

Amigo said:


> Little more idiotic than the food products like bags of nuts that say 'this product may contain nuts' or tins of tuna that say, 'may contain fish!' The serving suggestion pictures of the contents of the product on a plate are for those who need to study for a urine test too!


I may of miss heard but I think this a EU directive thing I heard it mentioned in Parliament the other day.


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## Sally71 (Dec 13, 2016)

What annoys me is when products claim to be "new and improved" - if something is new it has never existed before and therefore can't have been improved; if something is improved then it did exist before but has been made better, so isn't new then - one item can't possibly be new and improved, only one or the other!


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## robert@fm (Dec 13, 2016)

Amigo said:


> Little more idiotic than the food products like bags of nuts that say 'this product may contain nuts' or tins of tuna that say, 'may contain fish!' The serving suggestion pictures of the contents of the product on a plate are for those who need to study for a urine test too!





grovesy said:


> I may of miss heard but I think this a EU directive thing I heard it mentioned in Parliament the other day.


There you have it — the European Parliament definitely contains nuts!


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## Robin (Dec 13, 2016)

Just eaten these. The label takes pedantry to new heights. 'Of the ingredients that can be organic, 100% are organic. Water cannot be organic.' I'm just imagining a roomful of lawyers at head office agreeing that one.


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## robert@fm (Dec 13, 2016)

Robin said:


> Just eaten these. The label takes pedantry to new heights. 'Of the ingredients that can be organic, 100% are organic. Water cannot be organic.' I'm just imagining a roomful of lawyers at head office agreeing that one.


Well, _technically_ they're correct, since pure water contains only hydrogen and oxygen — no carbon.  Now if it were _sparkling_ water (aka carbonic acid, not to be confused with carbolic), it would be organic.


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## Robin (Dec 13, 2016)

robert@fm said:


> Well, _technically_ they're correct, since pure water contains only hydrogen and oxygen — no carbon.  Now if it were _sparkling_ water (aka carbonic acid, not to be confused with carbolic), it would be organic.


What was I saying? Oh yes, about taking pedantry to new heights. Love it, Robert!


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## robert@fm (Dec 13, 2016)

Northerner said:


> They should have chosen something like 'This page intentionally only contains this sentence.'


Maybe they could have varied that with "Everything in this manual is a lie including this sentence".


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## mikeyB (Dec 13, 2016)

Eek! Philosophy! Oxford entrance exam questions now. Just add "Discuss" to your statement Robert.


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## Ralph-YK (Dec 14, 2016)

Amigo said:


> The serving suggestion pictures of the contents of the product on a plate are for those who need to study for a urine test too!


Huh.  ???


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## AlisonM (Dec 14, 2016)

There was one on a walk in The City I lived advertising a place that made Actual shirts. I wondered if they made virtual ones as well.


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## Radders (Dec 14, 2016)

My favourite label is "keep away from children". 
I try.


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## robert@fm (Dec 14, 2016)

In the same vein as the above, there's the advertising billboard on the road from Toronto Airport into the city: "Drink Canada Dry".


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## Northerner (Dec 14, 2016)

Surely the most nonsense topical phrase has to be from Govia Thames Link advising people 'not to travel'. They can't travel on their trains anyway, because they are all cancelled, and if you're not travelling by train, why should you heed their 'advice'?


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## KateR (Dec 14, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> A company I once worked for when I was but a long-haired skinny youth had the in-house slogan "_Nothing is more important than making the Customer #1_". Everyone was expected to submit ideas to make things better for the customer. I didn't and was hauled before the boss to explain myself. I repeated the slogan to him and said I was doing Nothing because it was more important. He told me not to be such a smart arse and sent me back to my desk.



This reminds me of the old slogan "Nothing acts faster than Anadin".


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## Northerner (Dec 14, 2016)

Fight, anyone?


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## Ljc (Dec 14, 2016)

Northerner said:


> Fight, anyone?
> 
> View attachment 2458


Will the  poor little kiddywinks be in any fit shape to visit santa afterwards  .  I Mean , I'll swing a punch fall over and squashicate the poor wee things .


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## eggyg (Dec 14, 2016)

Strangely enough on our walk back from town today me and Mr Eggy passed a sandwich shop advertising a Christmas Baguette made with slow roasted turkey! Can you fast roast turkey? Superfluous word!


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## Ralph-YK (Dec 14, 2016)

robert@fm said:


> In the same vein as the above, there's the advertising billboard on the road from Toronto Airport into the city: "Drink Canada Dry".


{*waves over the barman and orders another*}
Well I'm trying.


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## FergusC (Dec 14, 2016)

mikeyB said:


> Believe it or not, that stuff about blank pages was done to stop people complaining that the pages hadn't been printed so they were disadvantaged, or sold short. It's not because of of stupidity of the people who put that on blank pages, but the stupidity of people who thought they were missing something.


Mikey,
that statement on an exam paper could be very mportant!
On my "O" grade Chemistry written, there WAS a page that had not been printed! Very important if it copntained your favourite topic(s) IMHO.


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## FergusC (Dec 14, 2016)

mikeyB said:


> My Spar Jelly Babies even say may contain nuts, but even with a magnifying glass, I can't see any, I think mine are all girls.


Or have them well tucked away


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