# Heartbroken



## WannaBump (Jul 3, 2011)

I went for an early scan last friday. Was so excited, they couldnt find a heartbeat though and said it had died 2 weeks ago. Never felt so devasted, heartboken and just destroyed before. They measured my little bean and took a scan picture. Said it had only been 7 weeks and 2days. I now have to go in on wednesday to have it removed. They said its just 1 of them things but I cant stop crying, cant stop thinking about it. When I manage to fall asleep I keep having awful dreams. My family and partner are being really supportive. I just feel like a part of me has died. I dont think it had anything to do with my diabetes all the nurses and doctors were really pleased with all my blood results.  Im worried about trying again, dont want this to happen again.


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## Northerner (Jul 3, 2011)

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news  Take care, I'm glad to hear you have supportive family and friends to help you.


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## margie (Jul 3, 2011)

WannaBump said:


> I went for an early scan last friday. Was so excited, they couldnt find a heartbeat though and said it had died 2 weeks ago. Never felt so devasted, heartboken and just destroyed before. They measured my little bean and took a scan picture. Said it had only been 7 weeks and 2days. I now have to go in on wednesday to have it removed. They said its just 1 of them things but I cant stop crying, cant stop thinking about it. When I manage to fall asleep I keep having awful dreams. My family and partner are being really supportive. I just feel like a part of me has died. I dont think it had anything to do with my diabetes all the nurses and doctors were really pleased with all my blood results.  Im worried about trying again, dont want this to happen again.



So sorry to hear this - you must be devastated. Do the hospital offer counselling to help you come to terms with this. I think some hospitals have support groups.

Try not to worry about trying again - I know a few couples who had this happen to them (no diabetes involved) and who then have a healthy pregnancy. Talk to the Drs about your worries and just take your time. Crying can be cathartic - if you need to cry then cry.

{{{{hugs}}}}


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## Ellie Jones (Jul 3, 2011)

I am sorry to hear this

And it's still very early stage for you and the grief is a very personal one in many ways as you feel that nobody understands, but they do...

At the moment it feels raw and all sorts of things will be going around in your mind as you go through the grive process and come to terms with what has happened this is all natural...

It very hard to say if your diabetes played any part in the reason why you misscarried, as about 1-5 first time pregnancies end in a misscarriage, and most who suffer this will go on to have a healthy baby and pregnancy...

Take care and keep looking after yourself..


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## Blythespirit (Jul 3, 2011)

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. I know from personal experience what it feels like to suffer a miscarriage. Take all the time you need to grieve for your little one, but, when you are ready, don't let this experience put you off trying again. There's often no explaination as to why these things happen, especially so early on in pregnancy. 

As I said, it happened to me but I went on to have 2 more beautiful healthy children with no problems. It also happened to my daughter who now has a gorgeous healthy 3 year old boy. Good luck and take care. XXXXX


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## Finnsmummy (Jul 4, 2011)

Hello
Like every one im very sorry to read your sad news 
At this time little of what is said or read is hard to take on as your pain is so raw.
Its an awful thing and i would never wish it apon a soul.
You must rember that you can get pregnant (Thats a big step) so there is nothing to say you wont be again in the near future or when you are ready. 

Its very easy to let the whole 'get pregant get pregant' thing to consume you, and as easy as it is for everyone to say please do try and take it easy. Stress is never good for the soul.
I would really suggest you talk to some one about this , if the hospital havent offerd any service ask your g.p . Its really important that you are allowed to grieve for your baby ,but having a few ways to cope a little better is allways good. 

I wish you all the luck in the world. xx


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## allisonb (Jul 4, 2011)

So sorry to hear your sad news.  I can completely understand how you're feeling, I went through a similar experience a few years ago, I was 13 weeks and had gone for my first scan, like you, and was really excited only to find there was no heart beat.  

Nothing anyone says or does will make you feel better at the moment, you just have to get through the clinical bits and then take time to come to terms with it all.  I found it helped having something to remember.  We have a picture at home for the baby we lost. 

I went on to have two more beautiful and very healthy babies so there is hope.  

I'm so sorry....bigs hugs x


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## rachelha (Jul 4, 2011)

So sorry to hear this, I know nothing I can say will make you feel any better.  Give yourself time to grieve for your lost baby.  I am glad your family are being supportive.

Thinking of you


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## MrsCLH (Jul 4, 2011)

Oh hunny, I am so sorry. Don't really know what to say other than that I am thinking about you. It definitely won't be anything to do with your diabetes, not at this stage. Just one of those things like you said.

There is a support section over on mumsnet for people who have suffered a miscarriage. Lovely ladies over there. Just thought it might help.

Take care of yourself and sending you big hugs xxxxx


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## novorapidboi26 (Jul 4, 2011)

I am so sorry for your loss, I cant imagine how you must be feeling....

surround yourself with family and friends, take care.......


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## WannaBump (Jul 4, 2011)

Thank so much for all your kind msgs, sounds like its quite common. More common than I realised. At the minute I dont feel able to carry on with normal day to day life, feels like everythings just stopped. Im scared about having the ERPC done on Wednesday, because Im just going into the day unit I cant have anyone with me. My partner and sister are just going to hang around the hospital until im ready to come home. Im disappointed with the gynae ward, they didnt really tell me anything that the operation involved, what I should bring with me, what to expect afterwards. Ive had to look it up on the internet myself. They wanted me to be awake during it too but some how my sisters managed to persuade them to put me under general. Quite pleased with that. 
Il keep you all posted to let you know how it went, fingers crossed it will go as smoothly as it can do.


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## HartHen61 (Jul 4, 2011)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I lost a little girls after two days and i was never offered any counseling or support for me or my husband, we were so devastated and to this day we miss her very much, luckily we tried again after 6 months and now have another loverly daughter, I hope you get all the support you need and good luck for the future babies to come xxx


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## Tezzz (Jul 4, 2011)

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I sincerely hope you get the strength to try again.

Best wishes.


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## Catwoman76 (Jul 4, 2011)

WannaBump said:


> I went for an early scan last friday. Was so excited, they couldnt find a heartbeat though and said it had died 2 weeks ago. Never felt so devasted, heartboken and just destroyed before. They measured my little bean and took a scan picture. Said it had only been 7 weeks and 2days. I now have to go in on wednesday to have it removed. They said its just 1 of them things but I cant stop crying, cant stop thinking about it. When I manage to fall asleep I keep having awful dreams. My family and partner are being really supportive. I just feel like a part of me has died. I dont think it had anything to do with my diabetes all the nurses and doctors were really pleased with all my blood results.  Im worried about trying again, dont want this to happen again.



I am so sorry to here your news.  It happened to me July, 1999.  I lost a bit of blood, I was checked out at my doctors, she thought everything appeared fine............................... but when I went to the hospital, the poor little thing had died, they couldn't find a heartbeat, I was 8 weeks

I went home and it happened naturally a few days later on the Saturday.  Very painful phyiscally and mentally.

Please don't blame yourself, it's mother nature saying there was probably something wrong with the baby.  I went on to have Tia in 2000  There can be happiness after such saddness. With very best wishes to you Sheena x


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## Jennywren (Jul 4, 2011)

Sorry to hear your very sad news ,know exactly what you are going through and understand how hard it is , i lost babies at 10 ,13 and 20 weeks but the encoraging news is i also have 2 very healthy boys now aged 13 and 18 years .You know where we all are ...... if you need to chat .


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## WannaBump (Jul 4, 2011)

Just like to say a massive thank you to everyone whos left a msg and shared their own experiences. Everyone thats been through this, have all gone on to have healthy babies! Its given me hope to try again when I feel ready too. Thank you so much!xx


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## Steff (Jul 4, 2011)

So So sorry to hear your news xxx my thoughts are with you x


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## bigpurpleduck (Jul 4, 2011)

So so sorry to hear of your loss. Take your time and remember that whatever you're feeling is completely okay. ((((Hugs))))


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## bev (Jul 4, 2011)

Hi WannaBump,

I am sorry to hear your news. I had the same thing happen to me and it was devastating at the time and totally unexpected - so I know how you must be feeling. The operation was not painful at all and no after effects - other than emotional upset obviously. I now have two daughters and a lovely son - so dont lose hope. I am not diabetic so these things can happen to anyone so dont feel 'guilty' or anything else.Bev


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## Sheilagh1958 (Jul 4, 2011)

So sorry to hear your sad news.


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## Cate (Jul 4, 2011)

I'm sorry (((WannaBump))).  This happened to me a couple of years ago, I also had ERPC under a General.  In terms of what to take to the hospital: a book, something to listen to/do, some food (for afterwards, hospital food is pants, especially for diabetics - hardly any carbs sometimes), testing stuff, hypo treatments, also some sanitary towels as you will have some bleeding afterwards (like a heavy period) and you can't use anything internal.

FWIW you are likely to be more fertile for the next two or three months as a result of this - my "more fertile" is now 17 months old  but take your time and come to terms with what's happened.

There's a forum over on babycentre.co.uk called Pregnancy and Infant Loss, you might find it helpful to have a read of some of the stuff on there, and post if you think it will help.


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## WannaBump (Jul 5, 2011)

Thanks cate for the msg. I hadn't even thought about what I needed to bring to the hospital, so thanks for that. I didnt know that I would be more fertile after this either, so its something to think about when I feel ready. I just know how incredibly nervous Im going to be next time I get pregnant, I know Im going to be so stressed until the second trimester at least.
     OK, I feel as ready as Im ever going to be for tomorrow. So, Im ready for it.


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## MrsCLH (Jul 5, 2011)

I hope it goes as ok as possible tmrw hun, will be thinking about you. Let us know how you are when you feel up to it. Xx


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## Hanmillmum (Jul 5, 2011)

So sorry to hear of your loss. I can appreciate what you are going through. This happened to me at 10 weeks, no heartbeat detected at the scan. Took the option of taking medication to bring on the miscarriage as was not happening naturally, I didn't want to leave my young daughter at the time to go into hospital. 
Wasn't ready to try again for a few months. Fell again when we started trying around 6 months after the loss and had a smooth pregnancy and birth (albeit a little anxious in those early weeks!) I have 2 beautiful daughters so you mustn't give up hope! I hope you get all the support you need.
Thinking of you at this sad time, tc.


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## Dizzydi (Jul 5, 2011)

So sorry to hear of your loss. Time is a healer and when you are ready try again. I lost 2 little angels in 2007 and know how incredibly painful it is. Hope everything goes ok for you tomorrow and if you need to chat, let of steam etc pm me xxx


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## grahams mum (Jul 5, 2011)

i am so sorry and i know how you feel i lost one before having graham at 8 weeks and i kept it dead for another month because of this i had a scan every week when i had graham and you can ask the same and about having the emrio out is better to have a general anestetic i think is quite hard stay awake meantime you are having something taken out when you know is going to be dead i have been in hospital 3 days and they try everything to having that done without going in to theatre at the end i was so tired that they have to to D&C anyway good luck and keep trying dont be afraid to lose it again


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## hyper-Suze (Jul 5, 2011)

Evening WannaBump,
I'm so sorry to read about your sad news, sorry its been a couple of days since been on. I have been crying too whilst reading all the posts and it confirms what I was going to put, you of course have your family and o/h's support, but you have a family on here too, backed up by all of the sincere posts and other's telling you about their miscarriages but then followed by bundles of joy. 

I hope all goes well for tomorrow, fingers crossed at least then, as someone else has mentioned, the clinical stuff will be out the way so you can continue to grieve .

Love and hugs, will be thinking of you


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## teapot8910 (Jul 6, 2011)

So sorry to hear your news WannaBump, thinking of you and your family xxx


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## pinkemz (Jul 9, 2011)

so sorry to hear your sad news xxx


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