# My friend has passed away



## newbs (Mar 16, 2013)

Sadly, my friend passed away this afternoon.  He will be greatly missed.


----------



## Northerner (Mar 16, 2013)

Very sorry to hear this sad news newbs  My deepest condolences.


----------



## brett (Mar 16, 2013)

So sorry, always sad when we lose friends/family


----------



## Steff (Mar 16, 2013)

Newbs very very sorry to hear this my dear, please pass on condolences on to all family, of course we are here for you as well hun xxx


----------



## Twitchy (Mar 16, 2013)

Really sorry to hear this newbs, thoughts & prayers with you & your friend's family. Xxx


----------



## LeeLee (Mar 16, 2013)

So sorry for your loss.  Remember to take care of yourself.  ((((HUG))))


----------



## AJLang (Mar 16, 2013)

Newbs I'm so sorry. Please try to enjoy the good memories of your friend. Please take care of yourself xx


----------



## Newtothis (Mar 16, 2013)

So sorry to hear of your loss xx


----------



## AlisonM (Mar 16, 2013)

My thoughts are with you all at this sad time.


----------



## Dizzydi (Mar 17, 2013)

So sorry for your loss. We will keep you in my thoughts xxx


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 17, 2013)

So sorry Newbs, I know he will leave a big gap in your life.  Sending love and hugs.xx


----------



## Caroline (Mar 18, 2013)

I am sorry to hear your sad news. Your friend was a good friend so it might help to remember all the good times and happy memories.


----------



## newbs (Mar 19, 2013)

I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and support, it means a lot.

My friend's funeral has been arranged for next Tuesday and there is going to be a celebration of his life afterwards and all the children are invited as he loved them all so much.  We are keeping our girls off school and will pick them up after the funeral and take them to the party with us, as he requested.  I really am dreading the funeral, have only just got myself together after he passed away on Saturday.


----------



## LeeLee (Mar 19, 2013)

I find it harder to lose friends than say goodbye to elderly relatives, however well-loved they were.  Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.


----------



## Steff (Mar 19, 2013)

newbs said:


> I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and support, it means a lot.
> 
> My friend's funeral has been arranged for next Tuesday and there is going to be a celebration of his life afterwards and all the children are invited as he loved them all so much.  We are keeping our girls off school and will pick them up after the funeral and take them to the party with us, as he requested.  I really am dreading the funeral, have only just got myself together after he passed away on Saturday.



theres no time limit newbs hun on how long it takes to get over the passing of anyone whom was so close, proberbly we never will, but tuesday sounds like it will be a lovely send off to a guy who sounded like one of lifes gems xx will be thinking of you tuesday


----------



## AJLang (Mar 19, 2013)

I don't know what to say Newbs but please accept my virtual hugs and warmest wishes xx


----------



## Pigeon (Mar 19, 2013)

So sorry to hear your news. I always dread funerals too, it seems so final..... but then at the end of the day I'm always really glad I went, and often it ends up being a strangely lovely day because you spend it with people who your friend meant a lot to, and you can share a lot of happy memories.

Don't worry about crying, I always sob through funeral services but everyone else is too. The celebration afterwards sounds like a lovely idea, I hope lots of people can make it.

I hope this next week goes ok for you, take time out to cry when you need to. Thinking of you x


----------



## Hanmillmum (Mar 19, 2013)

I know what it is like to lose a dear friend and I am thinking of you at this very sad time x


----------



## Sazzaroo (Mar 19, 2013)

_sending my condolences to you Newbs_


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 20, 2013)

Newbs I know what you mean about dreading the funeral.  My friend's is next Thursday afternoon 3pm for the service at the crematorium and then a service of thanksgiving at the church.  I had intended (if the service at church was first) to just go to that but now I don't know what to do.  Since my stroke it's hard not to simply cry and cry, I just can't help it.  Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.xx


----------



## newbs (Mar 20, 2013)

Flutterby said:


> Newbs I know what you mean about dreading the funeral.  My friend's is next Thursday afternoon 3pm for the service at the crematorium and then a service of thanksgiving at the church.  I had intended (if the service at church was first) to just go to that but now I don't know what to do.  Since my stroke it's hard not to simply cry and cry, I just can't help it.  Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.xx



I am really sorry to hear you are going through the same, I will be thinking of you on Thursday too.  That is a hard decision for you to make.

I rang my friend's son last night, had a good chat with him on the phone, it was really good to talk to him. I hope I helped him in some way, having lost my Dad too.  

I found out today that Vera Lynn's We'll Meet Again is being played at the funeral, that's me done for sure, no way I'll get through that without crying!  I sometimes wish funerals weren't so personal iykwim, the songs that are played these days are too much for me to handle.


----------



## Catwoman76 (Mar 20, 2013)

newbs said:


> Sadly, my friend passed away this afternoon.  He will be greatly missed.



So sorry to hear of your sad news. You are in my thoughts Sheena X


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 22, 2013)

Hi Newbs, glad you had the opportunity to chat with your friend's son.  I am sure you will have helped simply be allowing him to share how he feels and listening.  I appreciate your thoughts for Thursday.  I am going to try and go to both but if the church goes on too long or becomes too much I will come home.  It's local (would get a taxi) so at least I can do that.xx


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 26, 2013)

Thinking of you today Newbs.  Big hugs.xx


----------



## Steff (Mar 26, 2013)

Newbs your in my thoughts for today hun xx


----------



## newbs (Mar 26, 2013)

Thank you Flutterby and Steff for thinking of me today.  

The funeral went as well as can be expected, it was very emotional due to the very personal touches, family readings and songs played, I don't think there was a dry eye there tbh.  The celebration afterwards brought all the children together that my friend loved so much and we got them to write messages on balloons and we all went outside and let the balloons off 'up to heaven' which was a nice touch.

I feel slightly relieved that the funeral is over but still can't believe he is gone.


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 27, 2013)

Hi Newbs, it sounds like it was a true representation of all that he held dear and that is good but extremely emotional.  I think the one I'm going to tomorrow will be similar.  

Like you, I will be relieved when tomorrow is over - it's been a long time for both of us hasn't it?  Somehow you are in "no mans land" until the funeral is over and then I think it's possible to take tiny steps forward.  Disbelief is one of the first stages of grieving so I am not surprised to hear you say that, one step at a time eh?  Lots of love.x


----------



## Steff (Mar 27, 2013)

Hi newbs pleased it went as well as funerals go, the memories of him will always stay in your heart x


----------



## newbs (Mar 27, 2013)

Flutterby said:


> Hi Newbs, it sounds like it was a true representation of all that he held dear and that is good but extremely emotional.  I think the one I'm going to tomorrow will be similar.
> 
> Like you, I will be relieved when tomorrow is over - it's been a long time for both of us hasn't it?  Somehow you are in "no mans land" until the funeral is over and then I think it's possible to take tiny steps forward.  Disbelief is one of the first stages of grieving so I am not surprised to hear you say that, one step at a time eh?  Lots of love.x



Hi Flutterby, just wanted to say I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.  I hope the day goes as well as it possibly can for you.  I totally agree, the time between the death and the funeral is hard.  Definitely one step at a time.  x


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 28, 2013)

Thank you ever so much.  It's not till 3pm and I wish it was sooner.  I can't settle to do much - xxx


----------



## Rivki061 (Mar 28, 2013)

Belated condolences Newbs.


----------



## Steff (Mar 28, 2013)

Flutterby said:


> Thank you ever so much.  It's not till 3pm and I wish it was sooner.  I can't settle to do much - xxx



Hi Karen u been in my mind today, how were things x


----------



## newbs (Mar 28, 2013)

Hi Flutterby, same as Steff, been thinking about you all day.  Hope you are ok.


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 29, 2013)

How lovely of you Newbs and Steff to ask how I am.  I was tired out last night and so didn't do a lot and didn't see your posts but thank you so much.

The actual funeral at the crem was really lovely, there were so many people there that I hadn't seen for years and such a lovely spirit of sad yet thankful feelings amongst us all.  It felt like everyone was together.  The songs/hymns were really good ones and the eulogy was read out by someone who you could tell was really feeling the emotions that the family were expressing with their words.

Unfortunately my blood sugar levels were awful.  Just before I was due to be picked up my sugar was dropping like a stone so I had to eat a load of stuff just to be able to get out of the house - the predictable result was a sudden rise which along with the emotion made me feel really unwell.  I decided not to go on to the service at the church - partly because of how unwell I felt but also because the time was getting on and I was tired.  I was happy that I'd been to as much as I needed to and was glad to get home and deal with my levels!  Diabetes doesn't give a thought to the seriousness of the occasion does it?  Like a spoiled kid.

When I'd recovered a bit I checked my emails and found that a close friend's daughter has had very worrying results from a lump that's been removed from her bladder (particularly hard to cope with as the man whose funeral I had just returned from died from cancer of the bladder) anyway she is to have a scan to see if the cancer has spread but even if it hasn't she faces horrible surgery to remove bladder and perform a hysterectomy.  so on we go - life throws some challenges doesn't it?  Sorry it's a long story but I need to get it off my chest.  Thank you for listening.xx


----------



## Twitchy (Mar 29, 2013)

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend's daughter, that sounds grim. Really does feel like life just lobs in one grenade after another at times, doesn't it? I know this probably won't sound right, but try not to carry the weight of all these things on your shoulders - you can't fix all things, even with the best will in the world. Easier said than done I know. Take care of yourself too - I hope your levels have calmed down for you again now & after all the stress of yesterday you are at least starting to feel better. Take care xx


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 29, 2013)

Thanks Twitchy and yes you are right, I am trying to keep this weekend just for me and not feel obliged to answer every email, respond to every need etc.  I'm not going on facebook much over Easter, going to sit and read and eat some Easter Egg!  I do feel better today and my levels are more reasonable today.  Thank you for being concerned.


----------



## newbs (Mar 30, 2013)

Hi Flutterby.  I am glad things went as well as could be for you (apart from your levels!).  I am really sorry to hear about your friend's daughter.  My Father-in-law is currently battling bladder cancer so I know all about it unfortunately.  The chemo he has had has not worked and he is now waiting for a CT scan to see if it has spread further.  In his case they cannot remove the bladder as the tumour is too far down making the op too big for him to withstand.  I have heard a few people talk about bladder cancer recently, it seems it is far more common than I had previously thought.  Life can be so cruel.


----------



## LeeLee (Mar 30, 2013)

Newbs and Flutterby sorry I haven't posted much, but I find it hard to think of something to say that doesn't sound horribly trite.  You have been in my thoughts though.  I hope you both find the strength and support to get through this difficult time.


----------



## Twitchy (Mar 30, 2013)

I can relate to what LeeLee's just said - there are lots of times on this forum when I'd like to say something to comfort or help, even get part way through typing it maybe, but back off thinking it will sound wrong...I'm sure we're not the only ones who feel like this either. What I'm trying to say is that it's good that people share your troubles on here - we may not always have the right words to answer with but we do think of you. Hope that makes sense?! Xx


----------



## AJLang (Mar 30, 2013)

I completely agree with what Twitchy and LeeLee say sometimes it's so difficult to know what to say.  Newbs and Flutterby you are both in my thoughts. Hugs to both of you. I hope that you are able to enjoy this weekend xx


----------



## Flutterby (Mar 30, 2013)

I know what you all mean too, I've struggled to find the right words for my friend whose daughter is going through this.  Nothing any of us say can change the actual thing but it lets us know we aren't on our own, so thank you for that.xx

Sorry that your father in law is in this situation too Newbs - like you, I'd not heard much about it before and now it seems to be all around.  Hope the news brings some hope for your family when he has the scan.xx


----------



## newbs (Mar 30, 2013)

I'd like to thank everyone too, just knowing that others are thinking of me has meant a lot.


----------

