# Where to start?



## PhoebeC (Oct 4, 2009)

Hi everyone, I was going to reply to another post but then it got a bit too much about me hehe.
My partner wants to start trying, we get married in less than 6 weeks. I love children. But I am so scared of having kids though; my body is a mess Im not happy in it so why would I put a baby in it?
Maybe Im being crazy though, everyone on here seems to be ok.
I don?t know where to start. My gp is useless and I haven?t had a hospital check up in years, I know I should but I don?t drive its miles away and the nurse at my local gp is great she seems to know the score, the dietician never helped me much, she never told me about carb counting or anything just told me to keep doing what Im doing. So not helpful if you want better control.
I am going to get the book some one suggested, Diabetes and Pregnancy its ?3 on diabetes uk.
I think ill research as much as I can and go and see the nurse its so scary, I don?t want to bring a sick baby into the world its not fair on it, it sucks being ill 
xx


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## bev (Oct 5, 2009)

Hi Phoebe,
Sorry to hear your having a rough time. I would suggest you go and see your diabetic nurse and tell her how your feeling about your control and having a baby. It is possible to get good control - it just takes a lot of effort! If you feel you need more information - why dont you ask the diabetic nurse for a 'refresher' course? Have you been on a DAPHNE course? Your right - having a baby is a big commitment and your absolutely right to want to be in tip top condition to have a pregnancy - this means your already a good candidate to become a mother - you have the ability to think about the effects on a baby - this is an admirable quality to have. Too many people have babies without a thought! I feel sure that once you have voiced your concerns to your healthcare team they will be able to offer more support and advice - and if they dont - then perhaps its time to change to another team.

I am not diabetic myself - but i have read on here lots of ladies have pregnancies with diabetes, so it obviously can be done - i think perhaps there is just more monitoring as its a high risk pregnancy.

You have the right attitude towards becoming pregnant and this will help you towards achieving your goal - any child would be lucky to have you as a mum!Bev


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## allisonb (Oct 5, 2009)

Hi Phoebe

Bev is right, talk to your nurse about how you're feeling.  She may refer you to a pre pregnancy diabetic clinic.  It sounds like it's hard for you to get to the hospital but it would be worth it because they will give you all the information you need to have to get excellent control before getting pregnant.  It's hard work but worthwhile.  The Diabetes UK book is good, I bought it before I had my third child (first one I'd had since diagnosis) but it's no substitute for actually talking things through with someone and really understanding what's involved.  From personal experience there's lots of hospital visits and you'll need a good stock of lucozade but it's absolutely worth it.....

Feel free to ask anything, on a thread or by PM x

Allison xx


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## Emmal31 (Oct 5, 2009)

Hi Phoebe,
I agree with what's already been said if your not happy in your body then you need to get some help and advice from the professionals first before becoming pregnant. Have you talked to your partner about your concerns regarding pregnancy and your diabetes? I don't know anything about pre-conception care with diabetes because my baby wasn't planned but from what i've read on here it's largely good. I think if you start off well then you'll be a lot calmer during the pregnancy which in turn will make you feel happier. 

Good luck anyway and if you need anything pm me if you want. 

Emma x


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## Dizzydi (Oct 5, 2009)

*Hi Pheobie*

Definately get yourself refered to the Pre Conception clinic. They will talk you through and help you get yourself physically and mentally ready for conception. I have been attending one for the last 12 months and for the first 4 months I was told I had to wait for them to give me the go ahead before trying to conceive. (I am unfortunately still waiting - but with the help of drugs I've got my fingers crossed).

Keep in mind your own feelings and needs in all this as well and do what is best for yourself. You have to make yourself number one priority.

Good luck for the wedding (I got married on the 25th Sept).


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## PhoebeC (Oct 7, 2009)

Thank you everyone going to phone the nurse and take it from there.

Congratulations DizzyDi, i cant wait to get married , so excited 

Ill kepp you all updated, i love this forum.
xxx


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## Copepod (Oct 7, 2009)

*an alternative to pregnancy - possibly not the one you think I'm going to mention*

Hi Phoebe
Hope you manage to get things sorted a bit, and that you'll be happy with wahtever decision you make. Getting a driving licence does open up lots of opportunities, not least the chance to travel to hospital for appointments without having to rely on lifts or public transport (although I'm lucky enough to live near enough to cycle to my hospital) and is essential for some jobs.

I know this sounds like an odd experience, but please read, as it does combine driving, pregnancy, partner, children, diabetes etc. In my 20s, I always thought to myself that if I hadn't had children by the time I was 30, I wouldn't, because I wanted to be energetic enough both as a parent with young children and after they left home, and as I never met the right person, it never happened. I also never got round to getting a full driving licence, as I managed fine with cycling, hitching, public transport, lifts etc. Howver, a few months before my 30th birthday, I found myself helping a friend with geomorphological fieldwork based in a remote town in Australia, with the chance to learn to drive and take a written and practical test, which I passed. Then a few months after my 30th birthday, diabetes was diagnosed at a SCUBA diving medical in New Zealand and within months I was back in UK, starting insulin, losing right to drive minibues and vans, professionally SCUBA dive, rejoin armed forces etc as a result. Anyway, I returned to university to gain an MSc. My first job after graduating was back at an Antarctic research institute - a 6 week contact, invited by someone I'd worked for a few years earlier. That contract was extended and later I got another few weeks contract in another division. Three weeks after starting work, I was going out with a bloke, moved into his house a few weeks later - and we're still together, some 10 years later. We both decided that having children together wasn't a good idea, due to him working in Antarctica for several weeks to months each year - many families do, but many others change work because they find it incompatible with Antarctic service. However, both of us play important roles in the lives of my nieces and children of several friends - I baby sit for several families and have taken young friends climbing / swimming / park footnall etc while their parents are at work, I also run activity birthday parties for children at a country park and a certain 10 year old boy fell out of a kayak into the river at the weekend, but both he and his parents regarded it as an adventure and want to try again! Personally, I reckon being able to "borrow" children is the best solution - they're always nicer to adults who aren't their parents!


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## Twitchy (Oct 8, 2009)

Hi Phoebe,

I can relate to how you feel about your body - some days I have to really try to keep positive & not feel like my carcass came out of the wrong end of the gene pool lol!  (Duff diabetes, thyroid issues, PCOS, short sighted, etc etc etc, growl...I know, could be a lot worse!!!)

You are so right to plan ahead re pregnancy - for starters as a diabetic it is recommended that you take 5 (so bad at units, think it's mg?!) of folic acid (a monster dose, on prescription) for at least three months BEFORE you even start trying until the end of the first trimester.  This is to reduce the possibility of various birth defects.  Then there's the recommended sugar levels, which can be a bit of a challenge at times...

Personally, I am such a stress monkey that the only way I can stay relatively sane whilst pregnant is to feel that I have reduced every risk I possibly can...so reducing the HbA1c to 7.5% or less, folic acid, etc etc were all necessary to me before trying... & yes, my first pregnancy & this one so far have been tons of hard work, but becoming a parent is awesome - it's worth it all!  

Anyway, hope the call with the nurse goes well & you get some good support - and very best of luck for your wedding - have a wonderful day!!


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