# tesco's



## bev (Mar 13, 2009)

The Tesco Doctor 

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, 
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!" 

Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies. 

There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample 
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. 

It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and 
better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points". 

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. 
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the 
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. 

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy 
activity. It will improve in two weeks". 

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack 
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. 

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples 
from his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the mixture for 
good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would 
happen. 

He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the 
results with a grin. The computer prints the following: 

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 

2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.. 

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never 
get better.... 

Thank you for shopping at Tesco

Bev


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## insulinaddict09 (Aug 22, 2009)

hehehehehe pmsl


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## Sugarbum (Aug 22, 2009)

haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Brilliant!!!! x


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## Freddie99 (Aug 22, 2009)

Hahaha, quality!


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## Steff (Aug 23, 2009)

hahhahaaha love it


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