# Pregnancy overshadowed by diabetes



## Clover (Jun 20, 2009)

Hello. Never used a forum before but dont think we've ever felt so isolated, alone or frightened before, either.

I found out i was pregnant last week (6-7 weeks). My partner and i were over the moon but understandably, nervous as my family is very hostile to our relationship. We enjoyed a week of nervous excitement & worries about how to tell the family, then the diagnosis for diabetes came along.

Not sure if its T1 or2 but I've been given all the info for T1 and since starting insulin 2 days ago my blood sugars have gone down but are still reaching 17 two hrs after eating. I have been told that most of the damage to the baby is done in the first 6 weeks and since the diagnosis I have only heard horror stories as far as pregnancies are concerned. At each contact with the hospital the viability of our baby has been put in inverted commas.

I now refuse to let myself get excited about having a baby. I believe I have had diabetes for at least a year before diagnosis and feel so stupid for not going to the dr. cant shake the feelings of guilt for not giving my baby the best start and for putting my amazing partner through all this.

Dont really know what im asking for. a bit of hope i suppose. My partner and I have decided not to tell anyone about the pregnancy as we know we will face criticism from my family & may have some hideous decisions to make.


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## Northerner (Jun 20, 2009)

Hi Clover, first of all let me say welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to hear that your happiness has been clouded both by your family's attitudes and the diagnosis. I really can't comment on the likely effects on your pregnancy as I have no experience in this, but hopefully some of the other parents and pregnant members will be able to give you some advice. I hope that the prognosis and news for your little one improves in the days and weeks to come, and that you are able to celebrate and share happy times together.


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## grahams mum (Jun 20, 2009)

dont worry too much about relatives now yourself and the baby 's health is the most important thing get the stress after you have your baby congratulatin anyway and good luck with the pregnancy


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## DiabeticDave (Jun 20, 2009)

Question........what came first pregnancy or Diabetes????? if the former, could this be Gestational Diabetes??


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 20, 2009)

Hello and welcome to the forum  Quite a few members  are pregnant so I'm sure they will be able to help and reasure you . Congratulations to you and your partner . Dont let other peoples attitudes taint what you have . You need to put yourself  and the babys health first and *** everyone else .


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## sasha1 (Jun 20, 2009)

H i Clover,

Welcome to the forum....You just concentrate on yourself and the baby...don't stress and worry about your families attitude..You and babs come first now....Take care

Heidi


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## Clover (Jun 20, 2009)

*Thank you*

Thank you for the kind words of support. This is exactly what my partner and i needed! i have since read some of the other threads and whilst some are harrowing (i send lots of love and respect to those families) there are many success stories which is comforting. THANK YOU. If the pregnancy is viable my partners 12 year old will be so excited. He has a couple of friends who have type 1 and has been giving me advise! In response to one message, unfortunately i do not have gestational diabetes although the hospital is still unsure of type 1 or 2 but lack of keytones is reasuring.


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## Steff (Jun 20, 2009)

hi clover and welcome i cant really add to whats been said just look after yourself and the baby xx


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## Viki (Jun 20, 2009)

Hi Clover.

Really glad to hear you have a supportive partner. Dont worry about tackling the families yet, all you need is each other. I really hope everything goes well with your pregnancy, there are lots of diabetic women on here who have had babies (or are in the process of! ) and im sure they'll give you lots of advice.

Try and stay positive, diabetes is a scary diagnosis but as you get used to it youll realise it doesnt need to stop you doing anything - we just have a few more things to think about whilst we do them 

Keeping everything crossed for you all xx


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## Emmal31 (Jun 20, 2009)

I'm roughly 11 weeks pregnant got my dating scan next friday.All I can say is your not alone and everyone is here to help. I was about 4 weeks pregnant when I was on honeymoon and because I wanted to enjoy myself I didn't really control my blood sugars that well I sort of let them slip. I'd done pregnancy tests before that and they were all negative so I didn't have a clue I was pregnant at the time when my blood sugars were high. I'm very worried now because it was the first few weeks and I'm just hoping that they didn't do any damage to the baby fingers crossed. All you can do is look after yourself as best as you can. If you need to talk to someone in a similar situation then I'm here to private message if you like. xx


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## bev (Jun 21, 2009)

The only thing thats important at the moment is you 3! You have a little family of your own now and you need to concentrate on that fact. Maybe your own family wont be too happy about the pregnancy - but frankly its really none of their business is it? What can they do about it now anyway! You need to shut yourself off from people who may upset you - just for a while - and concentrate on being pregnant and having diabetes - its a lot to get your head round and you need space to think and to celebrate the fact that your going to be a family - so try to enjoy it and let yourself get excited about it! Also, stress wont help with your levels - so its in your own interests and the babies to relax and shut the world out for now. Keep us all updated with it all! Take care. Bev


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## SharpieL (Jun 22, 2009)

Hi Clover - my first experience with the D word was in pregnancy.  I can say my whole being was in turmoil and all of a sudden I felt abnormal and a bad carriage for my baby.

All these feelings slowly turned around as I learned to accept the support from the hospital and clinics.

I had to go on insulin as had a high dawn rise and was checked weekly for the amount of amniotic fluid.

I didnt allow myself to imagine the baby born, I just got through each week.  The hospital appointments allowed me to collect a catalogue of scan photos.

My daughter was born by planned c-section under a general.  She was 7lb 10z.  She did start to snort and spent a few days in special care.

She is coming up for her 6th birthday now and is our shinning light that I never take for granted due to the special circumstances of her carriage.

Take good care and I hope all works well for you. x


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## Twitchy (Jul 1, 2009)

Hi Clover,

I really hope that things are going ok for you and you are feeling happier!  Try not to stress too much - I have had T1 diabetes for 30 yrs now (with varying degrees of success in my control over the years.)  At our first scan when I was prg with our son, (at 11 wks) the consultant's comment was a fairly abrupt "lets see if there's anything still in there shall we?"  (boy did we feel the bubble burst!) That was with a fairly good HbA1c prior to conception & during the early days, so please don't let them rattle you - I think they try to set low hopes "just in case" (not in my opinion helpful!).  In the event despite my getting pre eclampsia (which can happen to anyone), our boy was fine, albeit 6 wks early. He's now a feisty happy 2 yr old.

If I could offer one bit of advice?  Go easy on yourself emotionally - you can only do your best & the bottom line is you are facing challenges other mums simply don't have to - things will be a bit tougher but a good outcome is by no means ruled out!  There is also only so much you can do.  Get as much help with the diabetes as you can from your team, but don't beat yourself up on the bad days - we all have them!  

The main thing I would change if I could go back would be not to bother with NCT antenatal lessons.  Although I went to the lessons with my consultant's warnings of diabetic factors & a C section ringing in my ears, it still helped set me up to feel a failure when I didn't get the "wonderful natural birth" experience that most of the other mums did (& seemed to think essential to being a "proper" mum! Daft bints!).  Breast feeding was also complicated by diabetes (swinging sugar levels, no advice available anywhere re ketones & b-feeding etc). 

Post birth; in hindsight the company of svelte, healthy "yummy mummies" who seemed to be competing to be the best natural "alpha mum" (natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth nappies- check!) was not helpful - it just underlined the limitations of my body at a time when I was struggling to regain basic blood sugar control in the post birth hormonal changes & made me feel even more anxious.  I would suggest trying to get to know some other diabetic mums in your local area - at least they will appreciate the more complicated issues you face as a diabetic mum. Sorry if that sounds a bit negative, I'm sure not all NCT classes are that bad!! (probably).

Do look after yourself - you can't change what's gone but you can look after yourself & baby from here on.  Be as assertive as you need to be to get the help & support you need to get the sugar levels right - the diabetic team should be seeing you very regularly & you should have some contact details for advice in between appts if necessary. All the best, fingers crossed you have a good pregnancy & have a good birth experience whatever way it happens!  (I had a surprisingly pleasant C section - goes to show!)

All the best,  Twitchy.


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