# Here's some reyt good Yorkshire jokes



## Matt Cycle

Only work if said in a Yorkshire dialect :

What time do cafes open in Barnsley? Summat to ayt!

Mamma Mia: classic ABBA song or a Yorkshire kid telling his mum he's arrived?

Jane Fonda comes to Huddersfield to give an aerobics class for all the well-to-do ladies.
"OK ladies," she says, "let's start with a warm-up. Hands on thighs!"
And the ladies, in unison, put their hands over their eyes!

A Yorkshireman's wife sadly passes away. He decides to have the words 'She Were Thine' engraved on her headstone.
He calls the mason, explains what he wants, then goes to see the stone a few days later. He takes one look and to his horror, finds the mason has engraved 'She Were Thin'.
He yells: "The blummin' 'e' is missing! Where's the 'e'? Tha's left the blummin' 'e' out lad!"
The mason apologises profusely, and assures the widower it'll be right on the day.
The day of the funeral comes. The mourners leave the church and head out to the graveyard.
There, in the glow of the winter sun, is the pristine headstone. Upon it inscribed:
"Eeh, She Were Thin."

A Yorkshireman goes to a goldsmiths and asks, "Can tha mek us a gold statue o'me whippet?"
The goldsmith says he can, then asks: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
The man replies :"Nay lad, chewin' a bone'll do fine."

and my favourite - you have to understand the strong Barnsley dialect for this one:

A man from Barnsley goes to the vet.
The vet says, "I hear you've got a problem with your cat."
"Aye," the man replies.
"Is it a tom?" the vet asks.
"No," the man says, "I brought it wi' me!"


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## Northerner




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## Bloden

My mate Cath Ogden - yes, she’s from Yorkshire - used to say as she was leaving the house: Moff na.


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## Northerner

Bloden said:


> My mate Cath Ogden - yes, she’s from Yorkshire - used to say as she was leaving the house: Moff na.


My friend from Croydon, when I was a student in Sheffield, never understood what 'Ahm off dahn chip'oil' meant


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## HOBIE

Jane Fonda bit had me in stitches !


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## Martin9

Yorkshire Airlines ...


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## mikeyB

Course, as any fool knows, the only good things that came out Yorkshire are the A59 and M62 West.

I’m ignoring the A1, nowt worth seeing South or North.


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## C&E Guy

Mrs C&E Guy, her mother and our younger daughter are down in Scarborough for 3 weeks. They'd be getting better weather at home!!!

I'd better not pass on these jokes as her friends down there might get a bit upset.


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## Northerner

Crow with Yorkshire accent


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