# I am a Jedi



## Owen (Oct 26, 2016)

I was sent by the rebels to fight the empire.

No seriously, on Monday I was formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 

I needed to get my head around this before being more open. I can trace manic episodes back over thirty years. More luck than judgement I have managed to dodge a lot of bullets both literally and methodically.

I am being open about this as I can be sometimes agitated and respond abruptly. It does not always mean I am wrong but may come across as rude or arrogant. 

Looking back there have been some outlandish extravagaces, which are now almost humorous. I have also due to this disorder had much success both financially and academically. As well as the guilt and deep depression.

If anyone wants to ask anything about this then I am more than happy to be open. I feel quite liberated to be able to be open about this and no longer feel as isolated.

Thank you all on advance for your understanding and patience.


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 26, 2016)

Owen I think you are extremely brave to post this on an open forum and I commend you for it. For what it's worth I find your posts warm, funny, witty and charming. I never find them rude or arrogant. You always have some interesting stuff to add to threads which is always a pleasure to read.  I would like to publicly state my support for you in dealing with what must be a difficult condition. I would also like to add that if there is ever anything I can do to help you then you really just have to ask me.


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## HOBIE (Oct 26, 2016)

All the best Owen !


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## Amigo (Oct 26, 2016)

This is a brave and honest post Owen and I echo DL's sentiments. We all bring our medical ailments, personality quirks and general idiosycracies to this forum and it all adds to the rich fabric. It must be a tough time for you adjusting to a diagnosis you've always suspected but I feel sure you'll receive warmth, support and understanding on here. Your openness is courageous and I'm pleased it makes you feel less isolated.

Warm regards, Amigo


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## Owen (Oct 26, 2016)

Thanks, the improvement since getting good control of my diabetes is vast. I am lucky that I do not get much in the way of psychosis other than mild paranoia. Having been post of this forum has helped me to get so much of my life back and understand that some of my endeavours may have been a little outside of the normal. But again thank you for your understanding.


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## Owen (Oct 26, 2016)

Amigo said:


> This is a brave and honest post Owen and I echo DL's sentiments. We all bring our medical ailments, personality quirks and general idiosycracies to this forum and it all adds to the rich fabric. It must be a tough time for you adjusting to a diagnosis you've always suspected but I feel sure you'll receive warmth, support and understanding on here. Your openness is courageous and I'm pleased it makes you feel less isolated.
> 
> Warm regards, Amigo


To be honest due to a long period of mania, I had not noticed anything wrong and people close to me just thought I was highly driven. I think it was hitting rock bottom that led me to seek answers.


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## AlisonM (Oct 26, 2016)

S'not fair @Owen, as if you don't have enough to deal with already. I'm with @Diabeticliberty in that I think it took courage to tell us and I've not noticed any arrogance or rudeness either but just support and encouragement for all the denizens. 

My godmother had the same condition but I don't pretend to know much or really understand it. She was a portrait painter and used to veer from periods of busy creativity (and a few temperaments) to total lethargy when she'd stay in bed for weeks. It was only towards the end of her life, she was 98 when she died, that she was diagnosed and we all went "ah, that explains it".


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## Robin (Oct 26, 2016)

OK, so you now have a label, but you're still the same Owen we've got to know, like and respect on the forum.


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## Martin Canty (Oct 26, 2016)

Owen said:


> endeavours may have been a little outside of the normal


Walking barefoot across the Artic might have been a little extreme......

Kidding aside, Owen, thank you for posting & starting to air another ugly topic.


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## Owen (Oct 26, 2016)

Robin said:


> OK, so you now have a label, but you're still the same Owen we've got to know, like and respect on the forum.


Yes and on the funny side of it, Mercedes, Mitsubishi, Beards the jewelers and several horse dealers around the world have benefited from this thing. Oh and yes a house builder, that was an impulse purchase as well. I just feel lucky to have come through this with some but not much collateral damage.


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## Rosiecarmel (Oct 26, 2016)

This is a very brave post. It does feel good to be open to people and I find its easier online than in person. I hate saying the term bipolar when talking about myself but online, I find its much easier. I also have never noticed you being arrogant and rude. Your diagnosis doesn't change you as a person and it shouldn't. Putting a label on it just makes it easier for you to understand what's happening, and to get the right treatment if necessary.

My inbox is always open, like I said earlier X 

As a side note, if you get put on any antipsychotic medication for mania, you should be aware it can increase insulin resistance so your insulin requirements may increase.


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## Owen (Oct 26, 2016)

I





Rosiecarmel said:


> This is a very brave post. It does feel good to be open to people and I find its easier online than in person. I hate saying the term bipolar when talking about myself but online, I find its much easier. I also have never noticed you being arrogant and rude. Your diagnosis doesn't change you as a person and it shouldn't. Putting a label on it just makes it easier for you to understand what's happening, and to get the right treatment if necessary.
> 
> My inbox is always open, like I said earlier X
> 
> As a side note, if you get put on any antipsychotic medication for mania, you should be aware it can increase insulin resistance so your insulin requirements may increase.


I have asked to avoid this at ask costs due to that reason. The paranoia is as said quite mild and hopefully el start that way. Thankfully I don't think I get the hallucinations. I generally don't get past 9 on the mood scale but spend a lot of time going between 2 and 8.


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## Owen (Oct 26, 2016)

Martin Canty said:


> Walking barefoot across the Artic might have been a little extreme......
> 
> Kidding aside, Owen, thank you for posting & starting to air another ugly topic.


How the hell I got through 9 years in the army, I don't know. Perhaps we were all a little crazy. Maybe the mania helped, I must have been pretty good at hiding things.


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## mikeyB (Oct 26, 2016)

Being in the Army covers a multitude of sins. In my career in War Pensions I had a claim from some guy claiming his Tourette's was due to service (it isn't, it's genetic. Half his family had it). He was discharged, but not until he'd done two years and was up for promotion. His recurring tic was explosively shouting curses, and nobody had noticed he was any different to any other recruit. Not officer material, though.

That might seem like a rambling story, but it isn't. We just accept you the way you are. Fun to have around. There is not a word that you have written that you need apologise for, no need to apologise for the wit, the snappy one liners, or the acid remarks. I just hope that any medication doesn't slow you down too much.

The other thing I hope is that your brave outing of yourself will pave the way for what I expect and hope will be a flood of folk discussing their mental health issues, because chronic health conditions go in hand in hand with them, especially when you've got three or four, and it's something rarely discussed on this forum, but it jolly well should be.

You're a hero, officer material for sure.


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## Redkite (Oct 27, 2016)

It's good to finally have a clear diagnosis, and hopefully this will open the door to appropriate treatments, should you need them.  My brother in law is bipolar, he went through a horrible time before he was diagnosed, and did have a lot of hallucinations and bizarre behaviour.  However he's been really well now for years - sometimes does have a bit of a manic phase, but does productive stuff like DIY and landscaping the garden!


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## FergusC (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen,
You're a brave man to admit it on an open forum.
Hope you can get things sorted.  whether you do or not, you are still owed a drink on me ! (real, not virtual)


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## Northerner (Oct 27, 2016)

A very brave post Owen, thank you for being so open and honest. I was diagnosed with severe dysthymia in my 20s so can empathise to some extent. It's good to get a diagnosis so that you can then be more aware of the reasons for things and try to take positive action to reduce the impact. I wish you well.


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## Stitch147 (Oct 27, 2016)

Im echoing what others have said Owen. A brave post indeed. Here if you need anything.


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

You often make a one word remark that makes me laugh for ages.  I hadn't considered that sometimes a single word might be all you can muster.  Thanks for sharing Owen...you'll do for me


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Marsbartoastie said:


> You often make a one word remark that makes me laugh for ages.  I hadn't considered that sometimes a single word might be all you can muster.  Thanks for sharing Owen...you'll do for me


Discombobulated


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> Discombobulated


Nice!


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> Discombobulated




That's easy for you to say


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen Goal aka 'The Wordslinger'


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Ambiguously ambivalent


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## AlisonM (Oct 27, 2016)

Banjaxed.


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

AlisonM said:


> Banjaxed.


Very much


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Serendipity


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

Jiggery-pokery?


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Bollards


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> Bollards


I think Owen Goal takes this game with his emphatic "bollards".  New balls please.


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Pogonotrophy


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Thankfully, i don't lie, swear, gamble, smoke, drink or hallucinate.

Oh crap, I left my fags in the Banting when I was playing poker with bungle a bed zippy.


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

hi Owen ...I've arrived at this post late but will only echo what others have already written. It's brave but equally liberating to admit to something like this. I am still battling the other D but I won't let it beat me. It raises its pig-ugly stinking head from time to time for no real reason that I'm aware of and I'm still on meds for it. I'm not proud of being labelled with depression (brought about by the last place I worked) but I'm not ashamed of admitting it either. It happens to at least 1 in 4 of us each year so we must talk about conditions like depression and bipolar, otherwise they'll remain in the shadows and prolong the (often) cruel misunderstandings.

Gazpacho


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> hi Owen ...I've arrived at this post late but will only echo what others have already written. It's brave but equally liberating to admit to something like this. I am still battling the other D but I won't let it beat me. It raises its pig-ugly stinking head from time to time for no real reason that I'm aware of and I'm still on meds for it. I'm not proud of being labelled with depression (brought about by the last place I worked) but I'm not ashamed of admitting it either. It happens to at least 1 in 4 of us each year so we must talk about conditions like depression and bipolar, otherwise they'll remain in the shadows and prolong the (often) cruel misunderstandings.
> 
> Gazpacho


I had noticed the citalopram, which is one of my many pills, although that looks like being changed, I have gone though a lot of triptolines as well. Until a couple of years ago the D was in short spells, so I was obviously unaware. I am trying to get to a place where pills will not be my main source of food.


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Pogonotrophy


You need a sack, crack..... To get over your proctological tenancies


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Pogonotrophy


I had to look it up.  So...when the trend for facial hair is at long last coming to an end you decide to get involved.  What's next...skinny jeans?


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Pogonotrophy


I thought it was what you won for having the best beard ...

...is _Pogonography_ rude pictures of beards?


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## Lindarose (Oct 27, 2016)

I wish you well Owen. I find your contributions here are always worth reading and often give me a laugh. You have a great sense of  humour which will help you cope


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> You need a sack, crack..... To get over your proctological tenancies




OUCH the sack, crack thang really hurts. Following the procedure you inevitably end up *Enantiodromia
*
How'd you like them apples?


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Try margerinism. Don't bother looking it up. It is the art of buttering people up..

Jonsi bach nude pictures of beards is actually known as scaryhairymaryism but only when it refers to my sister who was actually called Neville


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Jonsi bach nude pictures of beards is actually known as scaryhairymaryism but only when it refers to my sister who was actually called Neville


I think you need to re-read my post ...I wrote *rude* pictures not nude.

You see that dirt track over there ...that's your mind that is.


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> I think you need to re-read my post ...I wrote *rude* pictures not nude.
> 
> You see that dirt track over there ...that's your mind that is.




You did not succeed you are kakorrhaphiophobic. Something I have suspected for some time Jonsi bach 
*


*


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Sorry ...can't play for a few hours. Off to the GPs to let him look at my (deaf) ear


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Marsbartoastie said:


> I had to look it up.  So...when the trend for facial hair is at long last coming to an end you decide to get involved.  What's next...skinny jeans?


I have been found out, I am not really crazy, just harvesting likes @Diabeticliberty


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> Sorry ...can't play for a few hours. Off to the GPs to let him look at my (deaf) ear


Well that fell on deaf ears


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> Well that fell on deaf ears



Hear no was one of the wise monkeys. He is at least half way there already. I don't suspect that the wisdom will ever manifest itself but at least he half way there


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

My other daughter just came home from University, in told her about my diagnosis her response "no sh1t". Comically traffic and similar to her twin sister filled by "you don't need a degree in psychiatry to know that". What do you think of that @Diabeticliberty


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

I think that I should not meddle in the opinions of your kids.............................Move over Kofi Annan there is a new diabetic diplomat on the block


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## FergusC (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> my diagnosis her response "no sh1t


Didn't know you were constipated, as well!


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

FergusC said:


> Didn't know you were constipated, as well!


Part of Crohns?


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## Mark Parrott (Oct 27, 2016)

Only just noticed this thread.  There's been loads of posts on here recently & it's hard to keep up!  Anyway, Owen, I'm glad you have got this in the open.  Like others have said, it's a brave thing to do, but I hope you feel better for it.  I wish you all the best.  One thing that you are definitely not, and that is floccinaucinihilipilification.


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> You did not succeed you are kakorrhaphiophobic. Something I have suspected for some time Jonsi bach


I'm not afraid of failing (I had to look it up!) - I have succeeded at failing several times if not oftener,...but, you have suspicions eh? Are you sure you have suspicions or is it something you just suspect? 
@Diabeticliberty


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> Well that fell on deaf ears


please don't give up the day job Owen @Diabeticliberty


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## Owen (Oct 27, 2016)

Mark Parrott said:


> Only just noticed this thread.  There's been loads of posts on here recently & it's hard to keep up!  Anyway, Owen, I'm glad you have got this in the open.  Like others have said, it's a brave thing to do, but I hope you feel better for it.  I wish you all the best.  One thing that you are definitely not, and that is floccinaucinihilipilification.


You run the prize, @Diabeticliberty just got blown out of the Water


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> I'm not afraid of failing (I had to look it up!) - I have succeeded at failing several times if not oftener,...but, you have suspicions eh? Are you sure you have suspicions or is it something you just suspect?
> @Diabeticliberty





Jonsi bach I'm caught in a trap. I can't walk out because I love you too much baby. Why can't you see what you're doing to me? when you don't believe a word I'm saying.........we can't go on together with suspicious minds


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> You run the prize, @Diabeticliberty just got blown out of the Water




I believe the appropriate phrase here is smithereens


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Jonsi bach I'm caught in a trap. I can't walk out because I love you too much baby. Why can't you see what you're doing to me? when you don't believe a word I'm saying.........we can't go on together with suspicious minds


Elvis or Fine Young Cannibals ?


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

It would of course have to be the the King Of Rock n Roll. Roland Gift was just a pretender or was that Chrissy Hynde?


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## Greyhound Gal (Oct 27, 2016)

Can I throw verisimilitude, pandiculation and callipygian into the ring.
As in, some of DLs tales have verisimilitude, but I have partaken in pandiculation a number of times today, sometimes when DL talks about his apparently callipygian @Diabeticliberty


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## Mark Parrott (Oct 27, 2016)

Owen said:


> You run the prize, @Diabeticliberty just got blown out of the Water


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> Sorry ...can't play for a few hours. Off to the GPs to let him look at my (deaf) ear


Sorry...I didn't catch that.  Can you type it again? @Diabeticliberty


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

Greyhound Gal said:


> Can I throw verisimilitude, pandiculation and callipygian into the ring.
> As in, some of DLs tales have verisimilitude, but I have partaken in pandiculation a number of times today, sometimes when DL talks about his apparently callipygian @Diabeticliberty


@Diabeticliberty would like to think he's callipygian, but that's for others to judge.


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Greyhound Gal said:


> Can I throw verisimilitude, pandiculation and callipygian into the ring.
> As in, some of DLs tales have verisimilitude, but I have partaken in pandiculation a number of times today, sometimes when DL talks about his apparently callipygian @Diabeticliberty




callipygian my buttocks are beautifully crafted poochie and no mistake baby


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> callipygian my buttocks are beautifully crafted poochie and no mistake baby


no matter which way we want to take it ...it always ends up with his _...erm_...rear!


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Marsbartoastie said:


> Sorry...I didn't catch that.  Can you type it again? @Diabeticliberty


you're one crazy bint ...Mrs Tootsie


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## Diabeticliberty (Oct 27, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> no matter which way we want to take it ...it always ends up with his _...erm_...rear!





I am only attempting to stop things going ares about face


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## Jonsi (Oct 27, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> I am only attempting to stop things going ares about face


ares <sic> about faeces you mean?


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## AlisonM (Oct 27, 2016)

Mark Parrott said:


> floccinaucinihilipilification


Floccinaucinihilipilification? Personally, I think the word is otiose.


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## AlisonM (Oct 27, 2016)

Marsbartoastie said:


> @Diabeticliberty would like to think he's callipygian, but that's for others to judge.


Nah, he's steatopygic.


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## Marsbartoastie (Oct 27, 2016)

AlisonM said:


> Nah, he's steatopygic.


Are you trying to make @Diabeticliberty cry Alison.  You know how proud he is of his pert derriere.


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## AlisonM (Oct 27, 2016)

Marsbartoastie said:


> Are you trying to make @Diabeticliberty cry Alison.  You know how proud he is of his pert derriere.


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## mikeyB (Oct 27, 2016)

Ah, ladies, leave @Diabeticliberty alone, he's a sensitive young man, like me. I do not, however, have any obsessions about my bum, or at least none I would discuss on this forum


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