# You'll identify with these!!



## DiabeticDave (May 25, 2009)

1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? 

2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? 

3 . Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? 

4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse? 

5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob and I am an alcoholic'? 

6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? 

7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 

8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 

9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? 

10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 

11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? 

12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? 

13. What do people in China call their good plates? 

14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 

15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? 

16. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! 

17. What do you call male ballerinas? 

18. Can blind people see in their dreams? Do they dream?? 

19. If Wile E.Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why couldn't he just buy dinner? 

20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? 

21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 

22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 

23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong? 

24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? 

25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? 

26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass? 

27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 5, 2009)

Ha ha so very funny Dave


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## Einstein (Jun 5, 2009)

Bruce says 27 is usually to do with the garlic bread I've just eaten and didn't share with him - sorry didn't hear him asking


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## mikep1979 (Jun 5, 2009)

even i like to do number 27  lol


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## Einstein (Jun 5, 2009)

mikep1979 said:


> even i like to do number 27  lol


 
Watch the bloody flies though Mike!


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## mikep1979 (Jun 5, 2009)

Einstein said:


> Watch the bloody flies though Mike!



lol nah its a snack before me tea!!!!!! hahahahaha


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## Einstein (Jun 5, 2009)

mikep1979 said:


> lol nah its a snack before me tea!!!!!! hahahahaha


 
I was meaning in your eye!


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## mikep1979 (Jun 5, 2009)

Einstein said:


> I was meaning in your eye!



sun glasses me old china. thats why i wear them when in the car lol


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 5, 2009)

Einstein said:


> Watch the bloody flies though Mike!



I wonder what the Carb content of a fly is ? or is it pure protein


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## Einstein (Jun 5, 2009)

insulinaddict09 said:


> I wonder what the Carb content of a fly is ? or is it pure protein


 
Stir fried, griddled, BBQ (ala the blue lights in butchers) or raw?


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 6, 2009)

Ha Ha Medium Rare I Think David , Dont Forget Im A Low Carber !!
Surely Its Just Protein Lol


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## mikep1979 (Jun 6, 2009)

i'll have mine blue please david  hehehehehe


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## Einstein (Jun 6, 2009)

insulinaddict09 said:


> Ha Ha Medium Rare I Think David , Dont Forget Im A Low Carber !!
> Surely Its Just Protein Lol


 
I guess, what do they eat? Oooooooh yuk, yes, same as prawns...

Glad I don't eat them!


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 6, 2009)

Einstein said:


> I guess, what do they eat? Oooooooh yuk, yes, same as prawns...
> 
> Glad I don't eat them!



Ewww stop it !!!! I eat Prawns... not for too much longer me thinks


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## Einstein (Jun 6, 2009)

insulinaddict09 said:


> Ewww stop it !!!! I eat Prawns... not for too much longer me thinks


 

Purely answering your question oh great one...


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 6, 2009)

Einstein said:


> Purely answering your question oh great one...



Shhhh , I'm going shopping in a while and Prawns WERE on my list lol 

I will be running out of things to eat if you keep putting me off things lol

I'm already a Low carber , you trying to starve me to death ?


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## Einstein (Jun 6, 2009)

insulinaddict09 said:


> Shhhh , I'm going shopping in a while and Prawns WERE on my list lol
> 
> I will be running out of things to eat if you keep putting me off things lol
> 
> I'm already a Low carber , you trying to starve me to death ?


 
Would hate to do that to you Anne-marie, sorry DB


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## insulinaddict09 (Jun 6, 2009)

Einstein said:


> Would hate to do that to you Anne-marie, sorry DB



Thats ok David , in all honesty it would take more than that to put me off , I do love seafood , I will also be buying salmon today as I am bored of steak at the moment .


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