# Dirty Doris Has A Shower...........



## Diabeticliberty (Sep 30, 2016)

I thought that the title might grab a few early morning voyeurs. Sadly for you all the picture is entirely proper and not at all what I suspect some of you expected


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## Marsbartoastie (Sep 30, 2016)

Ah...you tempted me with that tantalising title...you titillating teaser!


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## Diabeticliberty (Sep 30, 2016)

Tis the time when a tonne of tantalising titillation tickles and torments and teases TTFN


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## Copepod (Sep 30, 2016)

How did you get a cat showered? Shove her through a gap, then close cabinet door?
I had to wash my cat, once only, when she was very young and came home having fallen into a weed covered pond in another garden, because it looked like a lawn. I put a washing up bowl into bath and dunked her in it. Despite being small, legs pointed out in all directions, trying to prevent going into water. Wrapped her in towel, then went off to raid the plaster supply for all the scratched inflicted on me!


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## Marsbartoastie (Sep 30, 2016)

I love the dog in the foreground.  I want him...


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## Diabeticliberty (Sep 30, 2016)

Copepod said:


> How did you get a cat showered? Shove her through a gap, then close cabinet door?
> I had to wash my cat, once only, when she was very young and came home having fallen into a weed covered pond in another garden, because it looked like a lawn. I put a washing up bowl into bath and dunked her in it. Despite being small, legs pointed out in all directions, trying to prevent going into water. Wrapped her in towel, then went off to raid the plaster supply for all the scratched inflicted on me!




I didn't shower her.I simply pointed out that she smelled all rather stale and she stuck her nose under her rear legpit and with some reluctance was forced to agree with me. She was given shampoo, a shower cap, a razer and some shaving gel. She elected not to shave but did scrub herself up quite well. She sings in the shower and put together a rather eclectic mix of Billy Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Simone before finishing with a few Johnny Cash numbers. Her version of Hurt needs to be heard to be believed. I hasten to add that she does not play electyric guitar because in the shower that would just be plain dangerous and in breach of several health and safety protocols


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## Andy HB (Sep 30, 2016)

Is she one of those creatures which go around nicking droids on Tatooine?

(OMG, I'm making Star Wars references! Help me!!)

Andy


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## Jonsi (Sep 30, 2016)

My two mogs (Doorstep & conkers) get bathed in a bucket!


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## Marsbartoastie (Sep 30, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> My two mogs (Doorstep & conkers) get bathed in a bucket!


Don't tell me Conkers is a chocolate lab...or I'll be in the car on my way to visit!


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## Jonsi (Sep 30, 2016)

Meet Conkers...


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## Marsbartoastie (Sep 30, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> View attachment 2014
> 
> Meet Conkers...



Must get my eyes tested.  I thought you said dogs, not mogs


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## pottersusan (Sep 30, 2016)

Being a potter, I have a filtration 'system' in my potting shed, which occasionally needs cleaning out. It is seriously disgusting and gungy. I put the box of soggy gunge in my courtyard garden on a sunny day to dry it out, to make disposal easier. I then went out. When I returned and went outside, the walls and windows were plastered in the gunge and there were pussy footprints... I suspect a cat had taken a leap off the wall, thinking the contents of the box were solid, and ended up covered in the evil smelling gunge.
I have this vision of the cat walking home in the sun and the clay setting - thus forming a very realistic cat sculpture
I don't envy the owners who had to clean  up the animal


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## Diabeticliberty (Sep 30, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> View attachment 2014
> 
> Meet Conkers...




Best you gimme that cat and I will be a very happy diabetic. No more will I tell tales of woe regarding my own arse end. Do we have a deal Jonsi bach?


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## Stitch147 (Sep 30, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> View attachment 2014
> 
> Meet Conkers...



Conkers is gorgeous.


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## Stitch147 (Sep 30, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Best you gimme that cat and I will be a very happy diabetic. No more will I tell tales of woe regarding my own arse end. Do we have a deal Jonsi bach?



I was gonna say dont let DL see that cat, he has a slight obsession and wants them all!!!


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## Jonsi (Sep 30, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Best you gimme that cat and I will be a very happy diabetic. No more will I tell tales of woe regarding my own arse end. Do we have a deal Jonsi bach?


Sad to inform the rest of the forum that they are likely to continue suffering reading the tales of your sorry, saggy, sad rear end ...Conks is going nowhere


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## Stitch147 (Sep 30, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> Sad to inform the rest of the forum that they are likely to continue suffering reading the tales of your sorry, saggy, sad rear end ...Conks is going nowhere



He was trying to persuade me to hand over my Tigga yesterday, never going to happen.


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## Diabeticliberty (Sep 30, 2016)

Jonsi said:


> Sad to inform the rest of the forum that they are likely to continue suffering reading the tales of your sorry, saggy, sad rear end ...Conks is going nowhere



Arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse


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## Jonsi (Sep 30, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse, arse


that's very good Dandelion Libation ...now, shall we try words beginning with B ???
.
.
.
... erm,   on second thoughts, let's not do anything beginning with B ...or C ...or D 
Try the E's now and definitely no F's!!


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## Diabeticliberty (Sep 30, 2016)

Jonsi you expect me to go through trial by fire just to provide you with a little bit of cheap entertainment. You can now buy a Netflix Mobile subscription for thirty bob and they are currently showing reruns of One Man And His Dog. Just think about all of those luvverly, yummy scrummy sheeps and they all want you bach. They want The Jonsi bach


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## Jonsi (Sep 30, 2016)

The DribblingLibertine - Fishboy said:


> Jonsi you expect me to go through trial by fire just to provide you with a little bit of cheap entertainment. You can now buy a Netflix Mobile subscription for thirty bob and they are currently showing reruns of One Man And His Dog. Just think about all of those luvverly, yummy scrummy sheeps and they all want you bach. They want The Jonsi bach


I thought I'd set you up with a great entry line there ...and you blew it!

As for Netflix Mobile ...we barely have 2G coverage here so how in the name of Swansea* do you expect me to stream vido*?
_*Martian should get those references_


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## Marsbartoastie (Sep 30, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Best you gimme that cat and I will be a very happy diabetic. No more will I tell tales of woe regarding my own arse end. Do we have a deal Jonsi bach?


@Jonsi GIVE HIM THE CAT...FOR ALL OUR SAKES!!!


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## Diabeticliberty (Sep 30, 2016)

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum


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## Andy HB (Oct 1, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum



Was that an example of a bum rap? (in my mind it was set to music!).


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## FergusC (Oct 6, 2016)

Diabeticliberty said:


> Jonsi you expect me to go through trial by fire just to provide you with a little bit of cheap entertainment. You can now buy a Netflix Mobile subscription for thirty bob and they are currently showing reruns of One Man And His Dog. Just think about all of those luvverly, yummy scrummy sheeps and they all want you bach. They want The Jonsi bach


DL,
Jonsi can come round and watch "One man and his dog" with my pair of collies. It's their favourite!


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## mikeyB (Oct 6, 2016)

Our second collie got expelled from sheep school. Fitted into the family just fine. Totally psychotic.


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## FergusC (Oct 11, 2016)

mikeyB said:


> Our second collie got expelled from sheep school. Fitted into the family just fine. Totally psychotic.


Probably just sensible, why rough it in the out-buildings, when you can live in luxury in the house!


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