# The Stupid NHS!!!



## PhoebeC (Aug 4, 2010)

I hate the NHS i phoned to check the time of my scan today, and they said that it had been moved from tomorrow, to next week. 

As far as i was aware it was today. On my anti natal notes it says i have an appointment for today after the scan. Now my husband cant make next week because he used his last holiday for today, he missed the first one because we didnt know it was happening and now he cant make this one he wont even be able to make 20 weeks with no holidays.

We are both so upset and annoyed at their total lack of organisation. They asked me if i still wanted to go the clinic, but as far as i can see there is no point in a after scan appointment without the scan. They cant tell me anything i cant ask my nurse who is very helpful about. @I have called and asked her to call me back. I dont want to see that useless doctor and midwife again.

I cant stop crying, he will miss one of the most exciting bits. I was so excited to see baby, can belive i got excited, nothing ever goes to plan xdxx


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## Dizzydi (Aug 4, 2010)

Awe that is terrible.

Can your hubby tell his work why he needs the time and say either go in before or after as a compremise so he can go with you. 

give it a whirl - if you don't ask you don't get!!


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## Steff (Aug 4, 2010)

GRRRRRRRRR Pheobe so sorry that is a dreadful situation to be in and especially hard when its someone who has made the cock up, like Di said any one with an ounch of compassion and heart would let him be there to see this surely the boss will understand.Worth a shot good luck x


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## lucy123 (Aug 4, 2010)

Could your husband maybe go into work for this afternoon - he could then explain and ask if could take half day (ish) when you scan?

Sorry to hear  you are being messed about - it will all be worth it in the end.

I swore by Ritz crackers for sickness?


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## margie (Aug 4, 2010)

It makes you want to scream.

Maybe your husband could be allowed a few hours off, and then work back the time. I don't know what he does, but if its mainly office based that could work. Some employers will give time off in special circumstances - though often at a manager's discretion. Its worth him mentioning what has happened and how important it is to him.

Take care


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## rachelha (Aug 4, 2010)

That is so rubbish.  Theo ended up missing one of my scans due to someone arranging a meeting at his work without telling him.  We were both really disappointed.  

He does not have anything to lose from speaking to his work about it.  Do your works know that you are pregnant? 

I wonder if you would be able to video the scan if he can not make it.

((hugs))


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## Copepod (Aug 4, 2010)

Several of my male friends have been working in Antarctica while their partners / wives were pregnant back in UK. They got scan photos emailed down (not videos, because that took too much bandwidth). Frustrating, but they reckoned it was more important to communicate with partners by email / phone and to be around the next season when baby was born. One year, my partner gave up his seat on a flight to a colleague with a pregnant wife, so he was delayed by a week - I sure missed him, as he'd been away 3 months, and would have liked him to be there when I got an orienteering league prize, but completely supported getting the pregnant couple together as quickly as possible.


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## bev (Aug 4, 2010)

I understand why you feel upset - but it really isnt the end of the world.

Whilst it is lovely to see your baby on the scan - its not really there to let the parents *view* the child - its there to check that everything is ok - right size and everything in its place etc. So you will get to see your baby at some point - but the main thing is that it will be checked over and given the all-clear. I am sure hubby will get to see the scan at some point in the future - and if not - he will get to see the real thing in no time at all - much better than a scan!

Scanning machines are in short supply in hospitals and it could be that your appointment has been moved due to an emergency which has set back all appointments.

My sister is a radiographer and her friend works with pregnant ladies - and she is sometimes so shocked at the way some people behave. One of the first questions they ask is 'what is it'? - Not - 'is it ok - is it healthy - is it the right size' etc..I think some people think its their god-given right to know the sex of their baby and to hold a 3d photograph etc - but what they should be worried about is whether it is healthy or not. ( I wasnt referring to you Phoebe by the way). It costs the hospitals lots of money to print off a photograph of a scan and they make no profit on it at all (in fact they lose money every time they print one off). I do think its lovely for parents to have a photograph of their baby in the womb - but I dont feel that it is a *necessity* at all.Bev


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## Steff (Aug 4, 2010)

bev said:


> I understand why you feel upset - but it really isnt the end of the world.
> 
> Whilst it is lovely to see your baby on the scan - its not really there to let the parents *view* the child - its there to check that everything is ok - right size and everything in its place etc. So you will get to see your baby at some point - but the main thing is that it will be checked over and given the all-clear. I am sure hubby will get to see the scan at some point in the future - and if not - he will get to see the real thing in no time at all - much better than a scan!
> 
> ...



I agree but if im not mistaken this is Phoebes first and I can relate as i have only the one and i know without asking my OH he would of been mortified if he had missed one scan.I think theres something diffirent if it is your first you will be experiencing it all for the first time and missing one scan can really cause upset.


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## rachelha (Aug 4, 2010)

They have a donations box for scan photos at my hospital so you can contribute towards the cost of the photos.


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## Naomi_Gosport (Aug 4, 2010)

*throw a sickie!*

I know it's not professional but on this occasion I think it's moral to phone in sick.


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## PhoebeC (Aug 5, 2010)

I know there will be other scans, but this was his last holiday. I had a scan at 6 weeks which he didnt come to as we thought it was just an appointment. It takes a month for him to get a day off and it was already hard for his manager to let him have yesterday off.

He might be able to work something out but he has recenlty had 4 days off with a tummy bug and they werent happy about that.

The photos at our hospital are ?2 we wanted 5 , one for me him, my mum, my dad and his parents.

I know its about checking its healthy thats why i want it so bad, its not been easy so far and i just want to know baby is ok. I dont know how i can trust a team with my and my babys health if they cant even give me the right info on my appointments. I really dont want to see the consultant again she made a fewe silly mistakes with dates and things during my appointment and now this. 
The scan dept said it had been changed by anti natal to next week and oringaly should have been 5th, so not ever on the 4th. In my book it says 4th after scan appointment. I was supposed to get a letter to which i didnt. Its my own fault for looking forward to it.
I had so many questions.

So annoyed these people should be looking after me not stressing me out.

xx


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## bev (Aug 5, 2010)

Hi Phoebe,
I do understand that your feeling upset and worried - but please dont let the fact that an appointment has been changed alter your view of your team. Sometimes these things happen unfortunately, and its just one of those things. There are probably very good reasons for changing your appointment date.

Do your hospital know that you want 5 photographs? I think they only normally give you one photograph and then if you want copies perhaps you can photocopy them.

Try to have confidence in your team as this will help you through your pregnancy and beyond. I am sure when you get to see your baby - all your worries will be over and you can look forward to meeting him/her in the very near future.Bev


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## beckyp (Aug 5, 2010)

Hi Phoebe....sorry to hear about your bad luck.  I realise how upset you are (I'm having enough trouble just getting through to the antenatal clinic through the NHS!), and easier said than done, but try and keep calm.  The stress it's causing isn't helping you or the baby.    

You are fully entitled to ask for a change of team....if you aren't happy with them now imagine how you're going to feel later on in the pregnancy.  Are there any other hospitals near you?  Speak to your GP and ask for his/her advice.  It's hard enough being pregnant, but being pregnancy AND diabetic is even harder and I'm not sure that a lot of people appreciate that and the stress that it can put on you - especially with the morning sickness that you're getting too.

As for your hubbie, can he take half day unpaid leave/sickie?  It might be worth him calling his boss this afternoon (or just turning up) and getting the holiday back.  Although it's before the end of 1st trimester (I dunno if you're telling people about the pregnancy yet), his boss may make allowances if you explain the situation????  

Deep breathes.

B


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## PhoebeC (Aug 5, 2010)

You have to tell them before you go in how many photos you would like. 

The ultrasound detpartment said it looked like a mistake, as my scan has never been on the 4th.
I dont like the doctor i am seeing anyway she made a few mistakes in my first appointment, which i had let her off for. Id much rather see my nurse who i have know for years and has helped me get my basal sorted.

He only got yesterday off because he told his boss why. He might be able to get the afternoon off next week but it doesnt look good, his manager stuggled to give him yesterday off.
He has calmed down but is gutted, its not our fault, its there stupid mistake.
I have things i wanted to ask, and it doesnt seem like these things matter to them.

I just wont get excited about next week now, i cant handle another dispapointment. I am glad we phoned, because if we had got there it would have been so much worse.

xx


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## rachelha (Aug 5, 2010)

Big Hugs Phoebe.

I have also had major doubts about my team. They never seemed to look at my diabetic notes, despite being at the same hospital. The midwifes have often referred to metformin too, I have had to remind them I am type 1.  I did not give me much confidence in them at all.  
Now I have been going for a while they are much better, and I know actually do have faith in what they are doing, although I still alter my ratios etc. myself, rather than waiting until I see them.

Hope you feela bit more positive about it all soon


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## PhoebeC (Aug 6, 2010)

rachelha said:


> Big Hugs Phoebe.
> 
> I have also had major doubts about my team. They never seemed to look at my diabetic notes, despite being at the same hospital. The midwifes have often referred to metformin too, I have had to remind them I am type 1.  I did not give me much confidence in them at all.
> Now I have been going for a while they are much better, and I know actually do have faith in what they are doing, although I still alter my ratios etc. myself, rather than waiting until I see them.
> ...



Thank you. My nurse is good at least so its not too bad, i can see her next week and not the dr.

And great news, he has managed to swap his shift with someone else so he can make it 

I am not going to let my self get excited this time, that way i cant be let down.

xx


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## rachelha (Aug 6, 2010)

That is great that he has been able to change his shifts


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## Steff (Aug 6, 2010)

PhoebeC said:


> Thank you. My nurse is good at least so its not too bad, i can see her next week and not the dr.
> 
> And great news, he has managed to swap his shift with someone else so he can make it
> 
> ...



Aww thasts great news hun, must be such a weight off your mind x


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