# Do you speak Essex.



## David H (May 4, 2013)

*Alma chizzit* - A request to find the cost of an item: how much is it? 

*Amant* - Quantity; sum total ('Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend'): amount 

*Assband *- Unable to leave the house because of illness or disability: housebound 

*Awss* - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ('That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day'): horse 

*Branna* - More brown than on a previous occasion ('Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, 'ave you been on sunbed?'): browner 

*Cort a panda* - A rather large hamburger: quarter pounder 

*Dan in the maff* - Unhappy ('Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff'): down in the mouth 

*Eye-eels* - Women's shoes: heels 

*Furrock* - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre: Thurrock 

*Garrij* - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: 'Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper'): garage 

*Ibeefa* - Balaeric holiday island: Ibiza 

*Lafarjik* - Lacking in energy ('I feel all lafarjik'): lethargic 

*OI OI!* - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs: hello 

*Paipa* - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport: newspaper 

*Reband* - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ('I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig'): rebound 

*Saffend* - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday: Southend 

*Tan* - The city of London, the big smoke: town 

*Webbats* - Querying the location something or someone is. ('Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour'): whereabouts 

*Wonnid *- Desired, needed or Wanted by the police: wanted 

*Zaggerate* - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ('I told ya a fazzand times already'): exaggerate


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## Steff (May 4, 2013)

I use oi oi lol


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## Lauras87 (May 4, 2013)

Is it bad I read them with a dodgy accent going on in my head?

Very good


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## LeeLee (May 4, 2013)

Try LIVING here!!


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## Cat1964 (May 4, 2013)

Lauras87 said:


> Is it bad I read them with a dodgy accent going on in my head?
> 
> Very good



Lol....I did too added to that I have a Scottish accent!!


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## Lauras87 (May 4, 2013)

Cat1964 said:


> Lol....I did too added to that I have a Scottish accent!!



My accents are funny to listen to especially my Irish one (I one day wouldn't stop saying potato at work)
I just sound very Yorkshire when I'm not messing about


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## Northerner (May 4, 2013)

Lauras87 said:


> My accents are funny to listen to especially my Irish one (I one day wouldn't stop saying potato at work)
> I just sound very Yorkshire when I'm not messing about



I've practically lost my Yorkshire accent, as those who have met me will no doubt attest


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## AlisonM (May 4, 2013)

I understood it, I ave cuzzins dahn at Colchester dunni. 

We use aye aye up here usually followed by fit like instead of oi oi.


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## Northerner (May 4, 2013)

AlisonM said:


> I understood it, I ave cuzzins dahn at Colchester dunni.
> 
> We use aye aye up here usually followed by fit like instead of oi oi.



'Ey oop! where I am from


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## Lauras87 (May 4, 2013)

Northerner said:


> I've practically lost my Yorkshire accent, as those who have met me will no doubt attest



 Alan come back!!!!! We'll get you reunited with you accent quicker than you can say eh by gum


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## AlisonM (May 4, 2013)

Try a few of these "Weegian" ones:

Ah dinnieken/I don't know: "Ah dinniekan faur yer Giro is Jimmy, didyeno cashit awreddy?" - I don't know where your benefit cheque is James, have you not cashed it already?

Aff/From or off: "Ah goat it aff the broo an noo ah canny find it" - I got it from those nice people at the Employment Exchange, but it's gone missing.

Berryhuckle/a round (of drinks), From Spoonerised rhyming slang..... Huckleberry (hound) = round. "Weel c'moan then, ah'll treat yese yae a berryhuckle tae droon yer sorras." Come along with me James, I'll buy you a libation to console you.

Dischuffed/Not pleased. "Aye awricht but ahmur highly dischuffed oweriss." All right, Thanks, but I'm seriously displeased over this.

Is yer brains beelin yit?


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## Lauras87 (May 4, 2013)

AlisonM said:


> Is yer brains beelin yit?



Those hurt my brain!!!


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## HOBIE (May 4, 2013)

Canny Like !  Ah divant understand    Good


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